carlzjuniorthesecond

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

me: man my cock is so chafed. who could have done this.

the common cockchafer:

me: the common what

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

A good rule of thumb for AI is "would you trust a trained pigeon to do this?"

"We trained a pigeon to recognise cancerous cell clusters and somehow they're really good at it" okay great, that's something that could plausibly be a thing.

"We trained a pigeon to recognise good CV:s and left it in charge of sorting through all our job applications" uh perhaps consider not doing that.

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

why do you like it here

i like how often people here type in all lowercase. bicameral script was a mistake.

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

uncertain about eels

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

Where the fuck is mama?

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

Naturally these ox-peckers are hanging around purely for the conversation – a tick wouldn’t dare feed off a unicorn. It would be impolite.

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

let's be numerous with mama

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

I ain’t afraid of no goats.

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

my rotund mama

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

Did you know that many gastropods can create a pearl, including terrestrial snails? The difference is nacre which is only found in some species of mollusks and which which gives pearls their beautiful shine. Terrestrial snails occasionally produce very small translucent white pearls which are usually lost. One non-nacre secreting sea snail, the melo melo, produces gorgeous pearls that are extremely prized and rare.

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

Among the Waves | Phone wallpaper set for iOS and Android

Get it here!

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[ID: Mock-up depicting a phone wallpaper and icon set designed by Nekomori Art, called Among the Waves. The Lock screen features a pair of "merbuns", mermaid-like creatures that are half-bunny and half-fish, perched on a rock in the sea. The background shows a blue sky dotted with fluffy clouds and silhouettes of seabirds, over the outline of a faraway beach. The bottom half of the illustration shows what's underneath the waves: colorful corals and schools of fish swimming about. The Home screen features an assortment of app icons inspired by the sea.]

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

[carlzjuniorthesecond]

As part of her social media detox this girl on YouTube made herself do one hour of understimulating tasks every day and she just counted rice for 60 minutes straight because its no different from doomscrolling in terms of wasted time