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carolina-dingo · 5 months

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The amazing science fiction themed concept artworks of Ward Lindhout - https://www.this-is-cool.co.uk/the-sci-fi-concept-artworks-of-ward-lindhout/

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carolina-dingo · 10 months

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carolina-dingo · 10 months

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nO LET HIM GET SETTLED HE WASNT READY

#they can walk #where are they going #how do i get one #new pets #just little guys #american soot sprite

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carolina-dingo · 10 months

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THE TUMBLR HORSE DERBY

WELCOME TO THE FIRST TUMBLR HORSE DERBY (that i know of, anyway)

HOW TO HORSE: 🐎🐎🐎 - Vote for your FAVOURITE horse to make them go faster! (yknow, like those carnival horse derby games!) MAY THE BEST HORSE WIN

(also sample size reblog yadda yadda yadda HORSE)

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carolina-dingo · 10 months

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Jayme Fortune, 2004

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carolina-dingo · 10 months

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carolina-dingo · 10 months

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[“It is also, in part, due to low self-esteem that people do not reach their full potential, do not strive to locate within themselves fonts of creativity and self-expression, do not venture to embark on activities and projects where success is in doubt. They feel safer not trying, because their poor self-regard is terrified at the risk of failure. Much of my initial counseling with people is to help them recognize that in many ways the problem is not in what they have done in life but in how they view themselves. There live human beings afflicted with far more debilitating impairments who do not necessarily hold the low opinion of the self prevalent among ADD adults.

The deep shame of adults with attention deficit predates any recollections of poor achievement. The association between low self-esteem and attention deficit disorder is not that the first arises from the second, but that they both arise from the same sources: stress in the parenting environment and disrupted attunement / attachment. Healthy development of self-esteem needs the atmosphere of what Carl Rogers called “unconditional positive regard.” It requires that the adult world understand and accept as valid the child’s feelings, from which kernel the core self will grow. A child taught to disregard or mistrust her innermost feelings and thoughts assumes automatically that there is something shameful about them, and therefore about her very self.

Absolutely universal in the stories of all adults with ADD is the memory of never being comfortable about expressing their emotions. When asked whom they confided in when as children they were lonely or in psychic pain, almost none recall feeling invited or safe enough to bare their souls to their parents. They kept their deepest griefs to themselves. On the other hand, many recall being hyperaware of the parents’ difficulties and struggles in the world, of not wanting to trouble them with their own petty and childish problems. The sensitive child, writes the Swiss psychotherapist Alice Miller, has “an amazing capacity to perceive and respond intuitively, that is unconsciously, to this need of the mother, or of both parents.” When I explore with my clients their childhood histories, emerging most often are patterns of relationships that required the child to take care of the parent emotionally, if only by keeping her inmost feelings to herself so as not to burden the parent. ADD adults are convinced that their low self-esteem is a fair reflection of how poorly they have done in life only because they do not understand that their very first failure—their inability to win the full and unconditional acceptance of the adult world—was not their failure at all.

Although low self-esteem springs originally from the disrupted attunement/attachment relationship with the parent, the belief that it is exacerbated by poor achievement is not wrong. Only, the link is not a direct one. In the majority of adults I have interviewed, it was evident that the inability to accept themselves was heavily reinforced throughout childhood by their parents’ expectations of better performance, and by their disappointment and disapproval at the absence of it. Superimposed on the parents’ anxieties were the contemptuous judgments and shaming that, throughout their childhoods, many of these ADD adults had experienced in school. Not performance as such but the attitudes of the adult world toward performance defined how many children learned to value themselves.

At our second session, I asked Andrea, the fifty-year-old self-confessed failure at the game of existence justification, if she had truly never done anything worthwhile in her life. She was silent for a while. “I have tried to be kind to people,” she finally replied. “I have tried not to hurt people. I am creative in crafts. I teach people. I do a bit of gardening. But to me those things come easily. That’s just who I am. I didn’t have to work at them much. I mean, I’m not an accountant or a lawyer.”

“Would you want to be an accountant or a lawyer?”

“It’s not that I feel like doing those things,” Andrea said, again after a moment’s pause. “It’s that I think I should feel like doing them. I am still trying to get my father’s approval.”]

Gabor Maté, Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder

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carolina-dingo · 10 months

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