carovingian

[carovingian]

To every “maybe I should read this” tag on Northanger Abbey: pleasepleasepleaseplease

Even if you’ve read Jane Austen you can’t be prepared for how good this book is. It has an autistic protagonist trying to navigate the insincerity and complex social structures of the regency era. It has “coming of age via toxic friendships” that’s viscerally relatable. It has the cutest love interest who’s also deeply regular. It has puppies. It has hyperfixating a bit too hard on Blorbos from Your Shows Novels. It has wanting to rush home to get back to your special interest. It has a Persuasion-esque story casually going on in the background. It has layers of gothic parody with a sincere love for the genre. It has a FUCKING TESLABRO.

[carovingian]

record set for me having 3 mutuals who love transmission towers & pylons. next i will be shooting for mutuals interested in spring making machines

[carovingian]

Context: I’m out about being poly and this is the second time I’ve had a monogamous couple I know say “oh, I know, let’s ask Caro how it works!” when they are thinking about opening their relationship. The first time was a couple of less than three years, the they started considering it when the girl started talking about being dissatisfied. This second time, the guy proposed they consult me about it when his wife of 8 years started talking about being dissatisfied. I know this second couple a lot less well than the first, but I know the guy and he seems very stressed out lately. I am pretty sure “trying polyamory” is becoming a way for people to break up when they feel like you need a Good Reason To Break Up and one doesn’t already exist.

Anyway I feel like it’s a little weird to hold this belief and not share it with them, but I worry telling them will make things worse. What say you, my council?

[carovingian]

The Botanists

Had a lot of fun making this one :)

[carovingian]

101 Dalmatians (1961) dir. H. Luske, C. Geronimi & W. Reitherman

[carovingian]

I’m midwestern so I would do my damndest to not bring it up at all unless they decide to mention it. If we’re really close I might do something like “I’ve been wanting to compliment your new body hair but I wasn’t sure if you were doing it on purpose but it does have this incredible lustre, I’m sorry, I hope this isn’t weird” and see where the conversation goes. If brushed off, I would refuse to mention the changes again unless it was inescapable due to logistics like chairs.

okay serious question here. let's say that your close friend is very-slowly morphing into a wolf. i'm talking a very slow progression over several months - they develop long teeth, fur, pointed ears. now be honest with me here: how long does it take you to actually address this. like, how far into the transformation does it get before you have to say like, "...you've been really into full moons lately huh?"

[carovingian]

hey everything that has ever left me, can you return back to me one final time

[carovingian]

So I was visiting this distant land, and the people there told me about this cool folk hero; I didn't quite catch his name - Osmond, or Osman, something like that - but apparently he was a professional demolitionist who was especially known for his work with statues.

The story goes that the local monarch, who was extremely self-important and styled himself the "king of kings", wasted a huge amount of the kingdom's money ordering hundreds of statues of himself. So this guy Ozzy goes and in the course of just one night he destroys nearly all of them, not just blowing them up but grinding the pieces so finely that they're basically just sand. Like he pretty much turns the field they'd been in into a desert with how much sand he's making. He leaves just part of one statue behind - just the legs and pedestal, and a partially shattered face half sunk in the sand - and carves a little epigram addressed to the self-proclaimed "king of kings" in the pedestal saying basically "Hey king of kings, my name is Ozzy and I wrecked your shit. Take a look at my handiwork, 'mighty one', and despair!" (I didn't get the exact wording, but that was the gist of it).

I just think that's one hell of a way to thumb your nose at royalty.

[carovingian]

part of mb's problem is that all it's friends are academics and doctors with multiple PhDs who have around ten millions hobbies each / super smart above university level AI ships. meanwhile its hobby is binge watching TV shows / consuming other forms of media but mostly TV shows. and it's still doing the same job its always done but as a relatively free agent now bc trying new things is scary. being The Only One in your friend group WITHOUT critically acclaimed research paper. it would've broken many of us.

[carovingian]

There was a bit in Angels and Demons by Dan Brown where a character asserted that acting like you knew the answer already and just needed to remember it gave her better problem solving abilities, which is oddly convergent with that llm phenomenon. Now I want to go look up if that was just fiction or if people actually hold that belief

one of the ways LLMs are not like people and are weird to implement as chatbots specifically: sometimes they invoke phrases like “checking the docs” or “checking on my laptop,” when of course they are not doing that. but doing so often improves their responses, bc the data they are drawing on is usually more correct when it includes that phrase. and trying to prevent them using such phrases makes them less accurate, bc it can push them out of distribution.

[carovingian]

Maggie Smith // "Goldenrod" (2017)

[carovingian]

but on the real though, here is your guide to assyrian rice preparation from your friendly neighborhood assyrian:

start wanting rice. (or, if you are traditional, simply recognize your constant desire for rice.)

measure out two cups of rice. then one more. then two more. then another. this seems fine. you love rice. there is no way that this will backfire on you.

remember that your great-great-uncle’s recipe says it should be soaked overnight.

become consumed with despair.

decide to soak it for half an hour instead, acknowledging that the final product will be inferior and anger your ancestors but will still satisfy your now almost-overwhelming need for rice to be inside your body much faster.

remember that you should have set the water to boil when you soaked the rice. goddammit. 

once the water boils, put the rice in until it is half-cooked. the eyeballing or intuitive method is less effective than a timer but that’s how your aunt does it so you feel compelled to meet her standards.

now that the rice has fluffed up, realize how much rice six dry cups really is. holy shit. you’ve fucked up immeasurably. 

take a minute to dwell upon your failings.

grease a baking dish with butter. this will never be as elegant as you want it to and your fingers will get greasy, but the slightly shameful, self-indulgent joy of licking your fingers afterwards will make up for it.

pour the rice into the dish. wonder immediately if you actually buttered the dish beforehand and if you’ve just fucked up. 

melt approximately one thousand pounds of butter in the microwave and pour it over the rice, pondering your imminent death from rapid-onset arterial clogging. put a small pat of butter on the top to properly gild the lily.

put your pan into the oven, which you have absolutely preheated after your previous lack of foresight. shake the rice once or twice while it bakes to make sure the butter is well distributed. resist the impulse to climb into the oven with the rice. for the last ten minutes, sit next to the oven and count the seconds until it’s done.

remove the dish from the oven. shed a tear or two at the perfection laid before you. if you are dining with others, this is the time to serve the rice while making passive-aggressive statements about how oh no, you don’t need any help, you just made dinner all by yourself, you can serve everyone as well. (this is still fun if done alone, but optional.)

CONSUME THE RICE.

realize that you have eaten half of the dish in one sitting. no matter how much rice you made, this will always happen. 

put the leftovers away, if there are any, and enjoy a cup of chai while marveling at the amount of food you have just eaten. if possible, fall asleep in an armchair, sitting up, head tilted slightly back, like a grandpa.

for the rest of the evening, think fondly of how much rice you have in the fridge now and how many meals it will supplement, refusing to acknowledge that you will almost certainly eat the rest of it in a few hours for a midnight meal.

[carovingian]

Announcing my solo show SWORD DANCE hosted by Push/Pull containing my interpretation of the sword suit in tarot, printed using risograph. Limited prints will be available for sale, too. Show reception is on Saturday September 13th 6-9 PM.

[carovingian]

Context: I’m out about being poly and this is the second time I’ve had a monogamous couple I know say “oh, I know, let’s ask Caro how it works!” when they are thinking about opening their relationship. The first time was a couple of less than three years, the they started considering it when the girl started talking about being dissatisfied. This second time, the guy proposed they consult me about it when his wife of 8 years started talking about being dissatisfied. I know this second couple a lot less well than the first, but I know the guy and he seems very stressed out lately. I am pretty sure “trying polyamory” is becoming a way for people to break up when they feel like you need a Good Reason To Break Up and one doesn’t already exist.

Anyway I feel like it’s a little weird to hold this belief and not share it with them, but I worry telling them will make things worse. What say you, my council?

[carovingian]

Context: I’m out about being poly and this is the second time I’ve had a monogamous couple I know say “oh, I know, let’s ask Caro how it works!” when they are thinking about opening their relationship. The first time was a couple of less than three years, the they started considering it when the girl started talking about being dissatisfied. This second time, the guy proposed they consult me about it when his wife of 8 years started talking about being dissatisfied. I know this second couple a lot less well than the first, but I know the guy and he seems very stressed out lately. I am pretty sure “trying polyamory” is becoming a way for people to break up when they feel like you need a Good Reason To Break Up and one doesn’t already exist.

Anyway I feel like it’s a little weird to hold this belief and not share it with them, but I worry telling them will make things worse. What say you, my council?

[carovingian]

I am some what maliciously looking forward to all the bad/ amateur coding takes that vibe coding will birth. Finally my CS colleagues will have to deal with “my dicking around is the same as your professional training and experience” like every other field