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This was the last draft I made before reworking it once more into the final version. I had previously tried using my subject’s notes on their own, but it still felt a bit too bare and not quite complete. I had the idea to create a dialogue between his notes and my own, although I realized how hard it was to verbalize my thoughts without making it sound cliche. I took out the blank pages at the beginning and end, which I had only included because I didn’t want the content to start directly on the other side of the covers. However, I realized that tactic suits books better than zines as the latter are usually so short. It felt like a waste of paper. 

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Another rework of the zine. I decided to just simplify the pages and cut out the spare photos completely. There was a nicer pace while looking through it than before, however it was almost too clean. It definitely needed the handwritten text. 

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This is one of the extra spreads I made to break up the content. I spent three days arranging and rearranging photos, but I was still incredibly unhappy with it. It didn’t have the same flow and level of symbiotics as the other spreads. It also includes the text from my subject that I’m not using. 

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This is a version I showed to Eugenie following the critique. She said the double images seemed a bit overused and formulaic compared to the spontaneity of the other spreads, which I agreed with. I was tempted to drop the text because the notes my model gave me were too contrived and didn’t seem to fit with the zine. He’s also still working a quite demanding job 5 days a week, so he hasn’t been giving the most timely responses. However, he agreed to rewrite the notes after I explained what I wanted a bit more. 

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This is the version of the zine I showed in the final group critique. The text was acting as a placeholder for notes the model was going to send me. I had positive feedback on the photos themselves, but the tutors really encouraged me to break up the spreads a bit. 

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Scans from the last two shoots. The ones in Cal’s room came out nicely, I’m really happy with them. He’s a pretty sleepy person, so they represent him well. However, I sort of hate those last two in the bathroom and I can’t quite figure out why. It might just be the boring location, or the coloring? They seem super generic and uninteresting. On the other hand, the photos in the middle were happy accidents - the blurriness and the flash misfire make them look a little more visually interesting. 

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I’ve been looking a lot at Miriam Marlene Waldner because she shoots with one subject, Emerson Snowe, pretty consistently. Her style is consistent, but she still exhibits such a wide range of work. I love the image where Snowe is blinking, it almost seems like it should be an outtake. As I said before, she’s the artist who inspired me to start using flash with my 35mm. 

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An iPhone shot from our latest shoot. The light was golden and sort of makes him look a bit angelic. We just shot one roll entirely on his bed. Got photos of him dying his hair last night as well, but I’m quite anxious to see how they’re going to turn out. 

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Polaroid from our first shoot back in London. Cal shaved his hair without me (I need to document as much of his life as possible), but oh well. He’s also bleached it, which could have made for some other great photos. I shot the rest of these images on 35mm with flash since we were in our bathroom under some very unattractive light. 

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Recently discovered Eddie Wrey’s work, which is super reminiscent of Collier Shorr. He created a scrapbook of all his professional and personal work from the past year. The theme is a bit more broad than the Jens F. book, but I love the use of collage. I think it’d be really cool to incorporate contact sheets into my own work, although it might conflict with me wanting to do full bleed pages with single images. Overall, it’s amazing seeing such a huge range of work, but obviously both books took at least a year to make.

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Found these images by Collier Schorr on Google, since the book is around 1000 GBP. The National Art Library actually carries it though, so I’m going to go take a look at it in person after the holiday break.

“The Jens pictures began as an experiment. To photograph a young boy in many of the positions that Andrew Wyeth painted the model Helga; to give someone another identity and photograph them through the transformation. Working exclusively in a small town in Germany, I was also interested in the impulse of Americans like Henry James, to travel to Europe in search of a certain "privileged" landscape only in fact to insert an American inflection. The work evolved into a kind of dance between the two models, between painting and photography, between the exacting detail of photography and all the nuances of sketches and drawings. As a way of keeping track of all these images, I began to clip out the contact prints I liked and to paste them into a book. The volume became something like a log or sketchbook, the antithesis of photography where the viewer sees only the finished and perfected photograph. Here they see hundreds of attempts. Each page compiles years' worth of shots, the same picture taken again and again over time. The camera formats change; the boy's body changes; the light changes. Levels of intimacy change. The boy's sister is added as a substitute for Helga's daughter. The boy grows further away from the soft curves of femininity yet closer in his comfort and collaboration." - Collier Schorr.

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11/12/2019

Had our last critique before the break yesterday. Eugenie brought up that I should have had more work done by now, which I was definitely already aware of. After hearing about my mishaps with models, she suggested sticking to my housemate. I think that’s the best option moving forward as well, since he’s reliable and easily accessible. We’re also already really comfortable with each other, so it’ll be easier to capture that intimacy on camera.

Here were the other main takeaways:

- Look up Jens F. by Collier Schorr

- Try mixing mediums, i.e. 35mm, Polaroid, iPhone, and 120mm

- The photos of George at Abney Park Cemetery look too much like a lifestyle shoot (use 120mm less???)

- I need to start shooting as much as I can and stop worrying about having the “right” conditions

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Scans from yesterday's shoot. I’m actually pretty proud of them technically, but they're not quite right. They do look a bit unnatural, which would be alright for anything else except for a project on vulnerability. I think the second image is the only usable one? On the bright side, I had less trouble focusing and all my images are crystal clear. 

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iPhone shot from today.

Finally worked with the other model. It was a beautiful day out and we shot some images indoors in my flat and some at Abney Park Cemetery. It was a bit of a struggle since we don’t know each other terribly well, but hopefully there might be one or two good photos.

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Took a random Polaroid portrait of Cal, and it might be my favorite photo I’ve ever taken of him. We just shot it at night in my room, using flash. He looks comfortable and relaxed, as if there wasn’t really a camera there at all. I think it’d be really fun to start incorporating more polaroids into my project, especially if I’m going to turn it into a book. 

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This is Alexandra Leese’s latest release, Yumi and the Moon. I love the design of it, the full bleed pages work so well. The size is also pretty big, it’s 30 x 24 cm. There are still a few pages that have some negative space, which create a nice balance. I need to see what images I end up with for my own project, but I think I’d really like most of them to be full bleed like this.

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Checked out all the books we have by Nobuyoshi Araki in the library today. Obviously my project isn’t about sex or death, but his images are so powerful. They give such a wonderfully intimate insight into the life of him and his wife.