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carryonmywaywardfeels2017-blog · 8 years

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Covers

Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: none, really. Some fluff, some dark Steve

Words: 2.4k

All credit goes to Marvel

Steve flipped the picture in his hands over and over, looking at the picture itself, then the date on the back of it. September 29th, 2016. The date seemed so long ago. He stared at the picture a little longer. He committed every small detail of it to memory; the way her hair flowed with the wind, her radiant smile, her eyes. Oh god, her eyes, he thought. He bit his lip, carefully folding the picture back into his wallet. How was he supposed to live on like this? Without her?

“Dad, I don’t know if this is a good idea. At least not yet.” You pleaded with your father. Nick Fury sat at the table across from you, elbows up on the table.

“You are the only option right now, Y/N. Everyone on the team is down and we need you.” Nick said affirmatively. You knew that tone of voice. That tone of voice meant you weren’t getting out of this. “All you have to do is make sure that James Buchanan Barnes is stable and true to the Avengers Initiative. We don’t need any more HYDRA in this world and he has some pretty strong ties to them.” You looked at your dad, Agent Phil Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D.

“It’ll take two weeks tops. Maybe one depending on what you see. I promise you won’t be in there for longer than you have to.” He put his hand over yours reassuringly and you took a deep breath. Fury slid over the steel briefcase and you opened it, surveying the photostatic veil in front of you. “Wearing this at all times is necessary. The Avengers already know you as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. If they suspect that one of us is spying on one of them, the mission is compromised and there’s no telling what will happen. As we all know, Steve Rogers is a bit of a loose cannon when it comes to Bucky Barnes. We can’t risk him hurting you if he finds out what you’re up to.”

“Right, so who am I, again?” You asked. Your nerves were on fire with anxiety, whether it was good anxiety or bad anxiety, you weren’t sure. You squeezed your dad’s hand a little tighter.

“You’re Marie Laveau, Stark’s new assistant. He knows why you’re there, but he doesn’t know who you really are. He doesn’t trust Barnes either. He’ll show you everything and give you the inside briefing. You’re from San Antonio, moved here when you were nine years old to live with your aunt after your parents were killed in a deadly gambling ring. You won’t be there long, so you don’t need much more information, and if they ask, I trust you won’t blow your cover. Now come on, I’ll bring you to the tower. You can put your face on in the car.” Nick stood up, gesturing for you to follow. You and your dad stood up, too. You gave him a hug and grabbed the briefcase before following Fury.

“Tell May I bought more celery for her breakfast shakes!” You called. Your dad smiled and nodded as you sat down in the passenger seat of Nick’s car.

“You know, you didn’t have to cut and dye your hair.” He said, pulling out of the restaurant parking lot.

“Oh, I didn’t,” you pulled off your jet black wig, exposing your natural hair underneath it. “You’re not the only one who thought disguise.” You saw him crack a (rare) smile.

“So I guess spending the entirety of your life training you to be a spy didn’t go to waste, huh?”

“Well, I had some pretty good teachers.”

“You’re doing this at the right time,” Tony began. “Barnes is just starting to warm up to everyone, but he’s still slightly reserved. I feel like he’s keeping something from us, something from Steve. Oh, here’s Diana’s room. You’ll be staying here.” He gestured to the room you would be staying and you felt instantly relaxed by looking around.

“Thanks, Tony.” you said sincerely. You gave him a grateful smile and he nodded, putting your luggage on the queen-sized bed.

“No, thank you. I need to keep my team together. But I need to trust Barnes before I do that,” You nodded understandingly. “Dinner’s at five, so you have time to wash up or get situated or whatever you needed to do.” With that, he gave you a tight smile before leaving, shutting your door behind him. You pressed your hands against your mattress, welcoming the familiar softness of it, and you hung your head. It’s gonna be a long two weeks, you thought.

When you came down for dinner that night, you sat at the long bar table with a piece of pizza in front of you and a knife and fork in hand. “You’re the only person I know, besides Diana, that eats pizza like that.” Nat remarked. Steve’s head popped up to look at you and then your hands, still holding the silverware. He looked at you skeptically in a way that made your skin crawl.

“I don’t like getting pizza grease on my fingers.” You shrugged and crinkled your nose. Nat nodded and went back to eating her slice, but Steve’s eyes lingered on you for just a bit longer and you averted your gaze back to your pizza, busying yourself with cutting into it and taking a bite.

Bucky came over and plopped down next to Steve, grabbing himself a slice of buffalo chicken pizza and nearly shoving the entire thing in his mouth. Steve whispered something in Bucky’s ears and you saw Bucky glance at you in the corner of your eyes. You picked at your lip and felt your cheeks heat up, and you were thankful that the photo-static veil wouldn’t show it. Steve stood up, throwing his now-empty plate away before excusing himself. You watched as he stalked out of the room. Bucky came over and sat down by you.

“Don’t take it personal, you just remind him a lot about Diana. Everybody here’s still upset that she’s gone and they don’t like to talk about it, but I know a lot about her from her file and what Steve’s told me. Walk with me, I’ll tell you everything you need to know.” Bucky looked into your eyes and you could tell he was serious. You finished your piece and threw your plate away, instantly going to follow the brunet who was already halfway out the door.

“Diana was great. She was sweet, but wouldn’t hesitate to bring one of us to the floor if she didn’t like what someone was doing. She was incredibly intelligent, easily beating out Clint and Natasha in almost any subject. She was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, but they called her an ‘Honorary Avenger’ because she went on a lot of missions with them. That’s how her and Steve got close and how they started dating. They were never public about their relationship though, they thought people would use them against each other, making them vulnerable. They loved each other too much that they’d pick each other’s lives to save over their own.”

“Sounds dangerous, to say the least. What happened to her?” You kicked at a rock as you and Bucky walked back to the tower, now with two cups of hot chocolate.

“She was presumed dead after an Extremis blew up in a bar. She was trying to save this kid, Harley, I think. He was real special to Tony, but Tony was down for the count when Harley ran into the bar, trying to save some file. Tony begged and yelled after Harley not to go in, but it was too late. The building burst into flames and Diana ran in, diving under beams and structures that had fallen over. She pushed Harley out, but one of the rafters fell on top of her, and they couldn’t get to her in time. They never found her, all the bodies were too charred to be recognizable. Not even dental records could help.”

“Steve hasn’t been the same since?”

“No, but can you blame him? Captain America losing the love of his life? He was almost mad when Pepper was the one to kill Aldrich Killian, the guy who created it. Steve wanted to do it himself.” You guys stopped walking when you reached the steps to the common room. “I guess I credit her with being why I joined the Avengers. The punk’s lost so much in life that he needs someone who understands. I just want him to be happy, that’s what we all want. So it makes more sense for me to be on his side instead of an enemy, doing the right thing for once instead of being some brainwashed psychopath killer.”

You threw your empty hot chocolate cup into the trashcan and shoved your hands in your pockets. “I appreciate you telling me all of this now so I don’t make an ignorant remark later. I don’t want to upset him.” You said. Bucky nodded, pressing his lips together. He opened the door for you and you stepped inside. Your eyes instantly landed on Steve, sitting on the couch and reading the newspaper.

He glanced up at you before focusing back on his paper. You frowned a little at how distant he was with you, but you couldn’t blame him. He probably felt bothered that you were staying in Diana’s old room. You shrugged it off and went to your new room anyways. You had to text your dad and Fury, and then take a hot shower to make up for the cold night air.

Me: Had some one-on-one time with Barnes. His intentions look good, but I’ll stay the full week to be sure.

Dad: Remember your cover, stay safe.

Fury: Dig up any dirt you can. I want a thorough report of him.

You turned your phone’s screen off and placed it on the counter of the bathroom, making sure to lock the door before pulling your wig off as well and stepping into the hot, inviting water of your shower.

“Hey, Steve, Tony wants to know when you’re ready to try out the new suit.” You popped your head through his door. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring intently at a picture. He coughed and folded it back into his pocket before nodding and standing up to follow you to the lab. When he reached the door where you were standing, he did a once-over of you. Not in a ‘checking you out’ sort of way, but another skeptical glance. You froze momentarily, fearing that Steve was way too smart and could probably see right past your cover.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

“Okay, Laveau, I want you to take a shot at Steve. Anywhere you want. Preferably not in the nether regions. Or the chest. The legs and stomach are fair game though.” Tony said. He tossed you a gun and you caught the trigger on your ring finger. They braced for the bullet that they assumed would be shot, but it never came. Instead, the gun balanced delicately off your finger.

“What?” You asked. Tony and Steve stood up from their crouched positions and stared at you in shock.

“Uh, nothing. Diana just used to do that a lot, kinda her thing, I guess.” Tony said. You frowned.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Must’ve just been a lucky catch.” You shrugged the comment off. “Steve, are you ready?” He nodded, and braced his body. Tony had been working on the new 100% vibranium suit for weeks now, he told you, and he was excited to test it out. Steve, however, was a bit nervous to be shot at for experimental purposes.

You fired off one shot, one at his thigh. Then you fired another at his stomach. One at his shoulder, and one at his arm. Tony watched as the bullets bounced off Steve’s uniform. Steve’s face was contorted in pain, but nothing went past his armor. When he opened his eyes and stared down at himself, he grinned at his bullet-less body and looked at Tony, who was beaming. You used this moment to excuse yourself. “Well, if that’s all you need, sir, Bucky asked me to dinner and I should get going.” Tony waved you off, too excited by his success to pay much attention. You slipped out of the room.

You walked back into your bedroom after dinner with Bucky, whom you had a surprisingly good time with. You had decided that further investigation to him wasn’t needed. In fact, he spent nearly the entire time raving over the Avengers and his missions with them. He told you about growing up with Steve and how happy he was when he was pulled out of cryostasis and found out Steve Rogers was still alive. He was even happier when he found out that Steve was still around his age, non-biologically. You dropped your keys onto the table by your door and looked into the little mirror above it, taking out your earrings. You jumped out of your shoes when you heard Steve’s voice. “Diana Locke was a great spy, amazing even. She was an expert marksman. But she also had her ticks. She picked at her lip when she was nervous. She ate her pizza with a knife and fork,” you froze, still turned away from him. “In fact, she’s even your exact height.”

“Steve, I’m sorry. Bucky told me about Diana, but she’s dead, and I-“, he cut you off.

“Oh, yeah. Diana’s dead. Diana was a cover though. Everybody believes that she died in that Extremis fire, but only I know that she used that fire and belief that she was dead to run off and find a new alias, a new cover, because she had blown hers while saving Harley.” He stalked up behind you, but you still didn’t move aside from letting him shove a picture into your hand. You brought it up in front of you and studied it. It was a photo of him and Diana. They smiled brightly at the camera with Diana lifted high onto his shoulders. She held up an American flag as her hair blew in the wind behind her. “I was the only one lucky enough to know her real name. Her true self. I know her better than herself sometimes. I’m the only one who can keep up with her.” You turned to face him and he hovered his hand over your photo-static veil, pulling it off of your face. You helped him by reaching behind you and sliding off the wig, letting your natural hair fall back onto your shoulders, framing your face. He stared at you, a smile taking over his features.

“So, what was her name, Steve?” You breathed out.

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N.”

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carryonmywaywardfeels2017-blog · 8 years

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Thank you for this. Need to show this to my family because they just don't understand

The Exploding Point

INTPs are known for being laid-back and easy-going. I mean, we don’t talk a lot, and we consider grunting to be a legitimate form of communication, but we put up with little annoyances pretty well. Things that do not bother me that much include loud noises in another room, little kids playing with my feet while I’m reading, and a cold draught blowing in through a window. You know. Little things. They’re not so bad.

And because of this, people think that some things that are major stressors for a typical INTP (if there is such a thing) aren’t a huge problem. For instance, if you can ignore a little kid playing with your feet and don’t get annoyed with it, then surely engaging in a normal conversation with an adult isn’t going to annoy you either. And if you can work in your own space without loud noises distracting you, then surely you can stick to a strict routine. And if you can take a cold draught blowing on your face, then you won’t mind sleeping on the couch while your bedroom is turned into a guest room for a week.

You see what I mean? Because many things which annoy other people do not annoy us, some think that we INTPs must not be annoyed easily. This is simply not true. Like other people, we have stressors, and when we’re under a lot of stress, we can be just as uncomfortable as someone who’s much better able to express his feelings about the situation.

The problem is, although an INTP’s first defense mechanism to just about everything is to ignore the problem, eventually the stress will get to him. And when it does, the INTP is going to explode.

And when an INTP gets emotional, you’d better watch out.

I can remember scaring an ESFJ I know a while back after I had been dealing with a lot of stress and discomfort for a very long time. She had been having a difficult relationship for about three months, and, because I was in her general proximity, I got to hear everything about it.

I mean every gory detail. I mean all the tears. I mean all the injustices and problems and heartbreak.

And if anything is a major stressor for an INTP, it is prolonged exposure to the raw emotions of another person.

After about three months of this, I snapped. It wasn’t pretty. For about fifteen minutes I was a storm of emotion. I think I even cried. I had reached the exploding point.

And guess what happened. After that exploding point, I was totally fine. The storm passed over, and I was back to normal.

The problem is, the ESFJ didn’t let me forget those fifteen minutes. She brought it up again and again, reliving those frightening fifteen minutes even though I was totally over it.

The moral of this gory little story is that we need to watch our exploding points. Sure, we aren’t going to think much of them. Once they’re over, we’re fine. But when we explode, it frightens other people. It showed my friend just what I am capable of emotionally, and it frightened her (although unfortunately not enough to keep her from pouring out her heart to me again). We INTPs generally don’t know how to handle our big emotions when we’re overtired and stressed, so we should probably be careful about them.

On the flip side, I probably should have asked my friend to lay off. Yes, she was going through a hard time and needed a friend. Yes, I wanted to be a good friend to her. But going through a hard time is never a good reason to be selfish, and forcing anyone (but especially an introvert) to listen to your problems day after day is kind of selfish. In short, I think both of us learned a lesson from that exploding point.

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