carveus - Tumblr blog

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Imogen "I'm dating the sleep paralysis demon" Temult

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This really makes the Studios costing themselves even more money (and getting more unions involved) by prolonging the strike for the promise of free ai labor even more fucking funny. you dumb fucking bastards lol

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The Lost Boys (1987) dir. Joel Schumacher

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Now will you dance? I’ll dance with you, pet. On the Slayer’s grave.

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this is APPARENTLY a HOT FUCKING TAKE but

i would rather someone live out the rest of their life dependent on or addicted to a pain medication that helps with their pain, than suffer in pain that could be helped for the rest of their life just so self-righteous dicks can say "thank god they're not an addict"

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I wonder how different society would be if the abuse schools commit was officially acknowledged as abuse.

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There's a local performance venue in my town that's getting shut down, and across local social media, the reaction is polarized between "omg I loved going to see all the bands, how could we lose such a major venue?" from eventgoers, and "FUCK those assholes, they never paid the performers, good riddance!" from local artists.

The one gig I did at that venue paid $30 for weeks of prep work, rehearsals, and a five-night run of our show. And I don't mean $30 a night, I mean $30 total. And I'm one of the few people I know who ever made a dime off this venue, despite how hard they marketed themselves as "local talent."

Anyway, I'm feeling petty about the whole situation, so let this be a reminder to performing artists: A shitty venue is the exact same as a shitty commissioner offering to pay in "exposure." The venue doesn't exist without the artists. Don't let them fuck you over in the name of "maintaining the local performance scene." If they can't pay the talent, they deserve to close, just like any other shitty business that mistreats their workers.

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My art history professor just said in a lecture "Protesting with art is really good because you don't harm things, you don't kill. You don't have fights at universities and things like that."

Then she paused and said "who do you think gives all the water to Gaza? don't you think they should be grateful? The world is watching."

And you know what I think I'm done with this lecture.

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TINY WRLD (2020)

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I never told my wife I had an ex-fiancee 

One thing I never told my wife is that I had a fiancee before her. It’s a long story, so buckle up.

It was the year after I graduated college. I was dating my girlfriend, Stephanie, for a couple years and things were getting serious. At the time, I had my roommate, Joey, but he was a Craigslist roommate. We didn’t know each other very well. If you asked me how I knew him aside from Craigslist, the answer is I didn’t. He wouldn’t even tell me where he grew up.

Now, no shit, on the day I was going to propose, tragedy struck. I adorned our apartment with candles and even set up a nice glass display with framed pictures of me and Steph on top. Before Steph came in, Joey walked in and tripped. He actually shattered the glass display and got some in his face. Steph came in a few minutes later as I was on the phone with 911. Fortunately, Steph is a nurse, so she was able to patch him up as the three of us went to the hospital together.

Joey would recover, but he had some issues with glass on his face. He needed some cotton gauze inside his eye, which fortunately the doctors were able to save.

Clearly, I put off my proposal for the time being, but Steph and I agreed to get married. Our engagement was hush hush. Steph’s hours were wonky so she took care of Joey when I wasn’t around. And I should’ve seen the red flags, but I ignored them. They’d hang out together with and without me. They’d be in Joey’s room and lock the door.

One day, I came home and all of Joey’s stuff was gone. He moved out. Steph wrote a note. The note said, “We fell in love and we’re leaving together. Don’t try to find us.”

I didn’t listen and I searched, but true to the note, I couldn’t find them. I’ll never know what happened.

Suffice to say,

if it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe

I’d have been married a long time ago.

Where did you come from, where did you go?

Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

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I'll never understand people using "it looks like a PS2 game" as an insult. Bitch, this is PEAK aesthetic

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Sally is annoying. Barry kills people. 

Sally Reed and Bary Berkman, Barry (2018-2023) || “‘Barry’: Bill Hader and Alec Berg on Season 3’s Themes and Why Sally Deserves Better” (May 22, 2022, Indiewire) || Skyler White and Walter White, Breaking Bad (2008-2013) || “Barry Star Sarah Goldberg on Unlikeable Women, Murderous Men, and ‘Mensch’ Bill Hader” (April 25, 2016, Elle) || Betty Draper, Megan Draper and Don Draper, Mad Men (2007-2015) || “Bill Hader on HBO’s ‘Barry'” (April 15, 2023, NPR)

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the BEST THING about America is that one of their timezones is called mountain time. i cannot tell you how funny that is to me. it sure is always time for mountains in one fourth of america

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thinking about them

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Instructions for how to download a Youtube video using VLC on Reddit

Instructions for how to navigate the underworld on an Orphic gold tablet