cascae

[cascae]

woahhh hello cascae or sacrefice..

[cascae]

Vividness

Farewell.

[cascae]

Photographed by Andrew Nuding for Simone Rocha S/S 2021

[cascae]

“You are embarrassed about your blood, its redness, the way it is just coming out of you with no concern for anyone’s feelings. You are (…) embarrassed to be alive.”

— In the Dream House, Carmen Maria Machado (via salemwitchtrials)

[cascae]

@revoide​​   asked,      ❝ i’m always surprised by what i do for love. ❞

                𝖆𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖈𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖊𝖘  –––––   she has questioned the sentiment of love and what it causes        [ microcosms  of  cataclysmic  phenomena;   the little wars and big alike.    i’ve killed for love.   or for what i believe constitutes as it.   what is devotion?  where does an idol stand in the sensation of love?   is it farther than it,  or does it fail to reach it  . . .   for a girl who holds no comparison,    what if it simply has to be love?   killed for devotion,  for an idol,  for love.   so it’s all the same,  then.   so there is no difference. ],       but only ever in passing.  heavy hearted and dreading the answer as she sought it,  which in turn made every step towards it,  every clarification,  reluctant and uncomfortable.    ❝ sure,    well   ––––    we’re  all  capable  of  it. ❞   she places surprising emphasis on making her words kind,  a sympathetic tone.   perhaps a tactic  ( reconnaissance of intent:   what’s your love?  what’s your kill?   give me it so i can make some sense of my own. )

                 sympathy gives way to a questionable stare,  brows raised as she turns her gaze more directly towards the other.    ❝ are you teasing me? ❞    the sudden suspicion lacks rationality,  only a sneaking fear.   easier it is,  anyway,  to call it out as such.   preemptively protective.

[cascae]

WAITTTT because if the moon child showed up in the last issue... assuming he stays for even a little while, long enough for casca to see him, it is going to be extremely interesting to see what her reaction is to him in her reawakened state.... like genuinely i’m so curious what will be instincts, what will be memory, and how it will effect her

[cascae]

right right i’m online now

[cascae]

possession 1981 writing prompts.

“ one mustn’t be afraid. one must speak honestly. “

“ what’s happening to us is just… it’s just natural. feelings… change. “

“ without you, i wouldn’t feel anything at all. “

“ there you are, you see. it’s the same with me. i don’t even want you now. “

“ how do you intend to live now? “

“ i’m going to be fucked up enough as it is. “

“ how do you dispose of ideas like honesty and loyalty? “

“ no-one is good or bad, but if you want, i am the bad one. “

“ i came to tell you that i can’t live without you and i’m ready to understand whatever there is, but it doesn’t look like it makes much sense. “

“ you must restore order. you must leave ____. “

“ i don’t care if you tell ____ you love them, but they’re not your family. your family is here. “

“ i can’t stand to see you like this. it could be the way you want. just don’t cry any more. “

“ ____ is with me, and they’ll stay with me. “

“ we don’t have to be brutal to each other or even impolite. ”

“ i am not astonished that you are here. i was thinking about you just before you came. “

“ you can hate me as much as you like. but it’s you who wants to know things from me. “

“ i am suffering as much as you are. “

“ i was just trying to make you comprehend that i love you. “

“ i’m not obliged to listen to you speak in that way. it’s offensive. “

“ how long have you been fucking me over? “

“ i accept your ways. the key being infinitive. to accept. “

“ i could have perfect peace if you never came back. “

“ i didn’t want it to happen, but it happened and now… “

“ don’t come any closer! don’t you understand? you disgust me! i can’t stand you touching me. “

“ yes! a monster, a whore. i fuck around with everybody. whenever you turn around, i fuck around with everybody on every corner. “

“ you can’t stop me. i’ll open the window and jump! “

“ you know what this is for? the lies. “

“ what have i done that you hate me so much? “

“ when i’m away from you, i think of you as an animal, or a woman possessed and then i see you again and all this disappears. “

“ it’ll be the way you want it. “

“ you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to. “

“ oh, come on. don’t be so formal. “

“ why don’t you like me? why don’t you draw in the plentitude of my love and pull it over your life like a veil? “

“ i used to be afraid of you. but i don’t think i am anymore. “

“ there’s nothing to fear except god. whatever that means to you. “

“ for me, god is a disease. “

“ i come from a place where evil seems easier to pinpoint because you can see it in the flesh. “

“ that was out of pure, blind ambition. and you know something? i don’t feel like there’s anything much ambitious left in me. “

“ you’re scaring me. “

“ am i not scared? “

“ darkness is easeful. and the temptation to let go… promises so much comfort after the pain. “

“ i can do as well. i can be better. i’m the best. “

“ that’s why i’m with you. because you say ‘i’ for me. “

“ i recognize the self who has just done something horrible like a sister i’ve casually met on the street. “

“ you’re looking at me as if to tell me that i need you to fill me up, as if i’m an empty space. “

“ i can’t exist by myself because i’m afraid of myself. because i’m the maker of my own evil. “

“ goodness is only some kind of reflection upon evil. “

“ it’s getting… so difficult for you, isn’t it? you’re not as strong or as sure of yourself as you thought you were, so you keep coming back. “

“ i’ve been a cheat, a liar, completely alone, wounded. “

“ you think i’m immoral shit. i think so too, but not for the same reasons. “

“ i feel nothing for no-one! “

“ i’m the only one in your life who has rights on you because i don’t claim any. “

“ you are no different from anyone else. we are all the same but in different words. with different bodies, different versions. like insects. “

“ perhaps you did it to yourself. maybe you’re learning how to suffer. “

“ i take what i want. and i’m at peace with myself. “

“ do you believe in god? it’s in me. “

“ you come like the angel of death. the one who kills. “

“ how do you want to finish it? “

[cascae]

Gonna rb a meme or two i think I’ll write later after my walk and would love more ic prompts 😁

[cascae]

𝔦  𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔡  𝔪𝔶𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣  as  this  simple  thing :     i  follow.

[cascae]

[cascae]

might make a little sideblog to write casca and judeau content 🧍‍♀️

[cascae]

Elibeidy Danis for Helmut Lang Spring 2018.

[cascae]

panel  edits,     fantasia.

[cascae]

23 & 33

23.   what does your character dislike in other people?

weakness... which is a very general concept,  but one she holds firm to nonetheless.  and i think it can come in any form,  as in like weakness physically or emotionally  ––  a lack of dedication to something makes her angry as well,  which is actually somewhat of a projection because she herself is so wholly dedicated to griffith and him alone that like .... it’s hard to determine what she’d be without him,  if she were to stand on her own.  all in all it’s all projection because she hates feeling useless and she hates the idea of being aimless.

but i think one thing too is casca can be really jealous,  and often she tries not to act on it,  but it makes her dislike people without firm reasoning.  the best example of this is guts,  who i think she also initially dislikes because she perceives him at first as reckless and selfish,  but most crucially he’s the object of griffith’s affection / admiration.  she can tell quite soon i think that griff thinks of guts higher than anyone she’d seen him interact with,  herself included.

33.   in the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

she’d stubbornly deny it,  unless it were griffith giving it  ––  honestly anyone giving her criticism would receive her scorn and likely she’d either continue in an old way out of spite,  or very quietly take the suggestion,  but she’d never act thankful.  the exception to this i think,  in my own headcanon,  is that casca was probably more shy and willing to learn from the members of the band of the hawk when she first joined.  she likely took a lot of criticism and put up with shit from people like corkus lol and as she grew up in the band she learned how to harden herself in a way that made criticism unnecessary,  in that regard.  and she learned how to approach it in a way that tailored the way she was perceived –– so she carved out a persona as a strong, capable warrior.

[cascae]

actually on that note (in the replies of my last post) yeah casca’s awakening would be wholly jarring like everything about stitching herself together would be hard and strange and humiliating!   she’d feel a visceral hurt over not only the years she’d spent as the very worst version of herself she ever could have imagined,  but also the betrayal + her friends’ deaths.  as it stands,  though,  and i mean this in canon and i think in my own portrayal all depending on how they play it out,  i think she’s still actively blocking out a lot of the eclipse...   which is why talking to guts is so hard bc him being the only remnant of that moment,  and being the last thing for her to have seen,  she’d be so scared subconsciously of remembering.  but for the other parts she remembers,  for her time with the little black swordsman crew,  she would be so ... embarrassed ... she would hardly be able to look farnese in the eyes honestly.