casey1137 - Tumblr blog

[casey1137]

Living life to the fullest or living to fulfill life?

I am a carefree, and adventurous person. I was living life to the fullest. One day, I put myself in a box trying to live to fulfill my life. From tactless, to being reserved, and from being able to do all things to limiting everything I used to enjoy. It was a huge adjustment for me until I became used to it. One day, I just burst out and became wild, and untameable, and distanced myself from almost everyone. I was lost. I got out of that box just to put myself in a more dangerous situation because of my aggressive decision. I made it all myself because I thought, I can do it. After all, I am sane. Indeed, being sane doesn't make all your decisions right as this will test how strong and firm you are. It will break you and let you fall to your knees until your only option is to kneel. I did kneel at the same time, I bowed my head acknowledging my defeat. I am just a lame person trying to be strong. I silently cried my heart out as questions are racing into my head asking YOU for answers. I have not received one. I moved on, living my "LIFE". I just moved on, not thinking whether I will have those answers or not. It does not matter to me at all. Slowly, things became clearer. My happiness no longer depends on the people I have and the places I've been. I was tasked to do some spiritual chores, and they just dragged me to do it. I didn't refuse at all because I will be with my TWO good friends. I successfully made that assigned task, (at least to me, it was a success, hehe). During the next weeks and months, doing that service became routine. I go home feeling fulfilled and happy. I found happiness in a service that does not pay me a single penny. That genuine joy in my heart is no match to the joy I used to have when I was living my life to the fullest. Now, I am living to fulfill my life through service.

SALAMAT AT NAKILALA KITA, at ipinakita mo sa akin ang mga totoong magbibigay saya sa puso ko.