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Susan Abulhawa, from Against the Loveless World: A Novel

[Text ID: “I wanted to be chosen, maybe loved. I wanted out of my life, out of my skin,”]

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“Be nice to yourself. It’s hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time.”

— Christine Arylo

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"কি অদ্ভুত এক নিয়ম, এখানে মানুষ মানুষের শূন্য জীবনে আসে, তাকে আরও বেশি একা করে দেয়ার জন্য।"

— সে বসে একা।🎥

Translates to-

"What a strange rule, here people come into people's empty life only to make him more alone."

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Stephanie Garber, Once Upon a Broken Heart

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POV: “ I stare at you when you're not looking. ”

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Repeat

Long nights and over thinking.

Disastrous intentions, meaningless thoughts, which intertwines my subconsciousness.

Consequences I must endure.

Laying here thinking all my thoughts.Why they keep popping up this late hour.

The subjects of who it was and who it will be will be the death of me.

I breath in. Take a deep breath. Try to catch my breath. Yawning. Obviously I’m exhausted but wide awake. Why do I over think with cruel intentions.

Horrible words play on repeat.

Round and round I go like a merry-go-round spinning out of control.

Toss and turn. Never comfortable enough to sleep. Still over thinking from my thoughts of the day.

One day I’ll sleep instead of playing repeat.

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"There are two reasons why people don't talk about things; either it doesn't mean anything to them, or it means everything."

~ Luna Adriana

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Excuses For Why We Failed At Love

by Warsan Shire

I’m lonely so I do lonely things

Loving you was like going to war; I never came back the same.

You hate women, just like your father and his father, so it runs in your blood.

I was wandering the derelict car park of your heart looking for a ride home.

You’re a ghost town I’m too patriotic to leave.

I stay because you’re the beginning of the dream I want to remember.

I didn’t call him back because he likes his girls voiceless.

It’s not that he wants to be a liar; it’s just that he doesn’t know the truth.

I couldn’t love you, you were a small war.

We covered the smell of loss with jokes.

I didn’t want to fail at love like our parents.

You made the nomad in me build a house and stay.

I’m not a dog.

We were trying to prove our blood wrong.

I was still lonely so I did even lonelier things.

Yes, I’m insecure, but so was my mother and her mother.

No, he loves me he just makes me cry a lot.

He knows all of my secrets and still wants to kiss me.

You were too cruel to love for a long time.

It just didn’t work out.

My dad walked out one afternoon and never came back.

I can’t sleep because I can still taste him in my mouth.

I cut him out at the root, he was my favorite tree, rotting, threatening the foundations of my home.

The women in my family die waiting.

Because I didn’t want to die waiting for you.

I had to leave, I felt lonely when he held me.

You’re the song I rewind until I know all the words and I feel sick.

He sent me a text that said “I love you so bad.”

His heart wasn’t as beautiful as his smile

We emotionally manipulated one another until we thought it was love.

Forgive me, I was lonely so I chose you.

I’m a lover without a lover.

I’m lovely and lonely.

I belong deeply to myself .

____________

Archiving it for my own.

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Quotes by Sylvia Plath, The Journals of Sylvia Plath

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“It’s okay to be alone from the start. You’d be used to it. But being alone after being with someone isn’t something I want to experience again.”

🎬 Our Beloved Summer

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-Mahmoud Darwish

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‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ i'm bad with words,

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ i hope you're good in

reading eyes.

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কেমন আছো? - এইতো আছি।

কোথায় থাকো? - কাছাকাছি।

বদলে গেছো? - সবাই বলে।

তারপর সব ? - যাচ্ছে চলে।

বিয়ে - সাদী? - লাভ কি শুনে।

কতদিন হলো? - রাখিনি গুনে।

ছেলে হয়েছে? - একটি মেয়ে।

কোথায় এখন? - ঘুমালো খেয়ে।

নাম কি ওর? - 'সোনা মা' ���াকি।

এই নামটা তো..... - এখন রাখি।

ব্যাস্ত খুবই? - একটু খানি।

বছর পাঁচেক........ - আমি জানি।

এড়িয়ে যাচ্ছো? - এমনটা নয়।

মনে পড়ে না? - পাইনা সময়।

সেদিন যদি........ - থাক সেসব।

ভুলেই গেছো? - যথা সম্ভব।

থাকতো যদি....... - থাকবে কি আর ?

ভুলিনি আমি - যায় আসে কার?

রাখবো এখন? - কিছু কি বাকি?

ভালো থেকো!! - ভালোই থাকি।

এত অভিমান ? - রাখিনি মোটেই।

এখন কাদোঁ?? - অল্প চোটেই?

হ্যাঁ, কাঁদো কি?? -না, কাঁদি না।

বেণি করো চুল...?? - আর বাধি না।

বৃষ্টিতে ছাদে?? - যাই না এখন।

প্রিয় গানগুলো ? - শুনি কিছুক্ষন।

কখন শুনো?? - মন খারাপে।

মন খারাপ হয়?? - ভয়ে তে কাঁপে।

কিসের ভয়ে?? - থাক আপাতত।

কিছুটা আছো?? - আগের মতো?

আবার যদি.... - চাই না আমি।

আপন কে খুব? - অন্তর্যামী।

চাইলে কি দোষ? - হবে বিপরীত।

আমি কেউ না??? - শুধুই অতীত.....

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To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be. The people they're too exhausted to be any longer. The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into. We so badly want the people we love to get their spark back when it burns out, to become speedily found when they are lost.

But it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people they used to be. It is our job to travel with them between each version and to honor what emerges along the way. Sometimes it will be an even more luminescent flame. Sometimes it will be a flicker that temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness. ~Heidi Priebe

Book: This Is Me Letting You Go