cassidyowcn-blog

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"I uh ---" What could she reply to that? Cassidy was not used to this sort of response nor did many people have the opportunity to know or learn about the way she used to be. All in all she hadn't changed much, but there were moments in her life that were directly steered by her father's actions or her own incessant need to be the best at everything in the hopes that he would one day return to the wife and daughter he had left. It was only when she had let that fantasy go that she really fell into the person she truly wanted to be -- and to hear that someone liked this version of her, well... her darkening cheeks said it all. "I mean, uh -- I like this version of you, too, even if I didn't really know the one before -- or if there was another one before. I just know that you've kept me alive during times you didn't even have to and that -- giving you a tape player that I found isn't nearly enough to repay you. You're a great friend, Tom."

However, seeing how he was when he finally accepted her gift -- could it even be called a gift when it wasn't hers to give in the first place? That she was unsure of -- made her smile even more. If she could make one person happy through her own deeds then that was a lot more than she could ever dreamed of, and the fact that she was able to on his birthday made it even more special. She just wanted him to know and believe that his birthday and his life meant something to someone, and that celebrating his birth is in no way a burden on himself or any other person. "I'm just glad you stopped fighting me over it," Cassidy chuckled softly as she zipped both bags closed, handing the heavier of the two over to him. "I am sorry in advance for when the batteries run out, though. I don't have any to replace them, but I have a friend who does supply runs so I'll ask her if she can keep an eye out for some more. Maybe we can keep it going if we find replacements -- or maybe new headphones that still work. I'll... figure it out."

Cassidy slung the bag over her good shoulder and adjusted it for a few moments as her eyes flicked between the strap and the brown haired male. The dressing on her side was due to be changed upon their return to sanctuary, but with the darkening skies and the prospect of being caught by those who had shot her, the idea of being home in time for that was looking very bleak. "I'm fine for now," she insisted, "but I promise I'll tell you the moment I'm not, okay?" The funny thing was - at least to Cassidy, anyway - that she was a medic yet she had to rely on others for the past week or so to make sure that her wound didn't get infected, it often left her feeling a bit redundant but at the end of the day she knew how important it was to put her pride aside, and she would do so again now for his sake. "If we can't get back in time then yes, you can look at it." Though the stomach churned nervously at the fact that a male who she was quite close to would be so... she just wasn't used to being confident enough to allow others to see her body, but this had to be overlooked; it was a bullet wound, after all. "I really appreciate everything you're doing for me, Tom. Thank you."

I think I just didn’t have the strength to continue, that’s entirely different from being strong enough to stop pretence. Shaking his head, Thomas wanted to protest, tell her that she was talking nonsense but he decided against it, not wanting to make her feel in any way uncomfortable right now. Although he didn’t agree with her one bit. And deep down, he made himself a promise he would try and make her believe that, one way or another. I guess there’s no point in dwelling on the person I failed to be, when I’m stuck with this version. "Yeah, well… I quite happen to like this version of you,” Thomas smiled softly at the girl and nodded his head gently, “Just so you know.” 

When the topic changed, Thomas decided to let it go. I found it therefore I have jurisdiction over what I do with it and I want you - Thomas looked at Cassidy as she reached out and placed the cassette playing in his hands before softly making his fingers close over it. Want you to have it. No arguments, no buts… No nothing. It’s yours. Thomas swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at the cassette while the music played in the far distance as the headphones rested on his neck now. Please accept it. I want you to remember what music sounded like. How it made you feel. This… You deserve this. He smiled weakly and lifted his head, locking his brown eyes with hers. “Thank you,” he spoke quietly, “Best birthday present ever.” And, he meant it. “Really. This.. That means a lot.” And it did.

Watching as she started to fill her bag with the parts he had gathered and he took a deep breath as he realized they needed to get back soon because of the color of the sky. Is that everything? Did I miss anything? He shook his head and put the cassette player in his pocket, zipping it up to make sure it didn’t disappear. “Nah, I think that’s all. Hopefully this will get us one step closer to getting the cars back on the road some day,” he spoke and nodded. Do you think we’ll make it back before night falls? Looking up, he honestly didn’t know. “Maybe. I guess we’re just gonna have to wait and see. Are you sure you’re okay though?” Thomas asked, thinking about the fact that the girl had been shot. “I mean, I could take a look at it if you want? I’m not a medic, obviously, but I’ve taken care of a couple of bruises knees throughout my childhood,” he said and smiled weakly at her while a soft chuckle left his lips moments after. 

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Cassidy had no idea why people kept calling her strong because it was the furthest from what she actually believed about herself. Yes, she was resilient and had the ability to keep going when all hope seemed to be lost, but deep down she was in a constant panic - fearing each new day as if it were threatening to be her last. It was very hard to consider one's self strong when they felt anything but. "I think I just didn't have the strength to continue, that's entirely different from being strong enough to stop the pretence. But uh... that's in the past. I guess there's no point in dwelling on the person I failed to be when I'm stuck with this version." And this version of her wasn't entirely bad, she believed, she just didn't know if this version -- the one that was less likely to change or adapt -- would survive.

Brushing the topic aside, the medic once again wanted the direction of the conversation to focus on him rather than her. She just couldn't shake the fact that it was his birthday and that he had been so unwilling to acknowledge this or celebrate it. In her eyes, it was the biggest reason to celebrate. The number that was left alive that got to experience a birthday was thinning with every passing day so those who were lucky enough to have one should grab it with both hands and realise that they had successfully made it to the next stage in their life -- no matter what age it was. They were all big birthdays now in her eyes. "I found it therefore I have jurisdiction over what I do with it and I want you --" she reached out and placed the cassette player in his hands before softly closing his fingers over it, "want you to have it. No arguments, no buts - no nothing. It's yours," she smiled. "Please accept it," she then added. "I want you to remember what music sounded like - how it made you feel. This... you deserve this."

Then, to make it evidently clear that she wasn't going to take the musical object back, Cassidy picked up her bag and began to fill it with the car parts he had already gathered before she interrupted him. If the sky was anything to go by then they should really start heading back soon. There was no telling what the cover of darkness could bring now that there was a group out there known for killing for sport. "Is that everything? Did I miss anything?" she asked, turning to the brown-eyed male after distributing the vehicle parts between both of their bags -- hers a little lighter (just, she was still very stubborn in the fact that she wanted to help rather than heal) than his due to her side injury. "Do you think we'll make it back before night falls?"

Thomas nodded and looked at Cassidy, as she seemed to be somewhere else for a minute or two. There are those that do it to protect themselves, but it’s never a permanent solution. He swallowed and hummed, before looking down at his hands before lifting his eyes and looking at Cassidy who continued. I used to pretend that I could be like all the other girls in my year at school, but when push came to shove I couldn’t ignore the fact that this wasn’t what I do nor was it who I was at a person. Thomas knew what she meant by that. He had seen it first hand. Hell, everyone had probably at one point been where she had been. “That shows how strong you are though. I mean, not a lot of people actually realize what they’re doing and they keep it going. I think the people who manage to accept who they are, it shows how strong they are.”

As the two of them made their way towards the old truck that Cassidy had seen, he stuck one of his hands into the pocket of his ripped and dirt-covered pants while the other rested on top of the baseball bat he had brought with him. I’m not really sure what kind of stuff you’ll need because cars aren’t something I understand. Thomas laughed and nodded. “Honestly, I need anything we can find. Parts get broken all the time and needs to be upgraded. So, whatever you can find will do just fine.” I can learn, though. If you, uh - if you need help with gathering supplies or fixing things back at sanctuary let me know. “Yeah? Awesome. I’ll definitely do that, then. Need all the help I can get to be honest.” 

Thomas liked being around Cassidy, he liked how, when he talked to her, he, even if it was for a split second, forgot about how fucked up the world was. Not a lot of people could do that. But she seemed to know exactly what to do or say.

Thomas focused on the truck parts, looking at them and making sure they were of use. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have to use time or effort carrying it back to town. Cassidy began to search the rest of the vehicle, while Thomas had his head and hands down the front of the car. I think this trust must’ve belonged to an old person. “Uh-huh,” Thomas agreed quietly. The engine was old, but it seemed like it was definitely working to a certain extent. They needed to somehow get it back to Sanctuary so he could look at it better. Continuing to look around the engine of the car, Thomas noticed Cassidy slowly moving over to where he stood. Lifting his head when she tapped his shoulder, he lifted his head and looked at her with a kind expression on his face. “What?” he asked just as she put the headphones over his head. Raising an eyebrow at her, he suddenly heard music flow through the speakers and a soft smile appeared on the male’s lips. He recognized it. It was something his Dad used to listen to, but he didn’t know the name of the woman singing it. Happy birthday, Tom. “What? No. I can’t take this. You found it. It’s yours, Cass.”

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Somebody shine a light I'm frozen by the fear in me Somebody make me feel alive And shatter me

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Cassidy settled her head upon her father's shoulder as her eyes closed. She had always imagined what it would feel like to have her father's arms her once more, convincing her that everything was going to be okay and that he would never leave again, but until now that had been nothing more than a fantasy. Until now. "Promise me you'll do everything in your power to keep breathing," she muttered against his shirt, fingers gripping the fabric that covered his back. She couldn't lose him. Not now. Not ever. "Please."

Dom didn’t hesitate one moment to wrap his arms around her and pull her close. If he could protect her from this fucked up world, then he would do whatever it takes to ensure that. He’d already let her down once and when they reunited, he told himself he couldn’t do it again. He wouldn’t do it again. The faintest of smiles crossed his lips - he thought for the longest time he would never hear that again. “I love you too, Cass,” he muttered in her hair.

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"I think pretending in any context is well... how you explained it," Cassidy replied, the muscles in her jaw twitching as she made every conscious effort to avoid using the language that the male had. Honestly, the world was filled with flesh eating dead people and murderous lunatics and it was still the swearing that she had a problem with? She sure knew how to muddle up her priorities. "There are those that do it to protect themselves, but it's never a permanent solution. Like uh -- I used to pretend that I could be like all the other girls in my year at school, but when push came to shove I couldn't ignore the fact that this wasn't what I do nor was it who I was as a person. The sooner I made myself accept that the easier it got. Well, not entirely easier, but you know what I mean." It was easier to accept herself, whether or not the others accepted her was another issue entirely.

Thankful that he didn't push the topic of her nightmares, Cassidy made her way forward towards the old truck she had seen. It was a much appreciated distraction to say the least as she hummed under her breath. "I'm not really sure what kind of stuff you'll need because cars aren't something I understand," a shake of her head showed that she was bemused by this fact. She had made an effort to excel in many areas, hoping in one form or another that her success would bring her father back home (she had always ignored the fact it was never successful), but the one main area she had failed was driving. She had devoted so much time to her studies that she was in her twenties before she decided to learn, and when she did she had failed the practical side. She had planned to resit it but then the outbreak happened and cars became irrelevant. "I can learn, though. If you uh -- if you need help with gathering supplies or fixing things back at sanctuary let me know, I'll try my hardest to be of use." That and she liked to be around him. He made her feel safe so hiding behind the ruse that she wanted to learn about mechanics was the perfect way to do so.

Leaving him to his own devices with the truck parts, Cassidy began to search the rest of the vehicle; both inside and out. When she looked in the glove compartment her fingers brushed against what seemed to be an old fashioned tape player. It looked as if it came straight out of the eighties. She picked it up and noticed that old fashioned headphones were still plugged into it. "I think this truck must've belonged to an old person..." the medic mused loudly to her companion. "Hold on..." She pressed down on the button and was surprised to hear a soft murmur of music play through one of the headphones - it was battery operated so that explained why it still had some power left in it. After an idea flashed in her mind, she crawled out from the front of the truck and made her way to where Thomas was. She tapped him on the shoulder and then gently placed the headphones over his head. Then, with a soft smile, she pressed play once more and the tape began to spin, the music once again igniting. "I don't recognise the music and I don't know how long the batteries will last, but... happy birthday, Tom."

I froze. Thomas swallowed and nodded his head as he kept his brown eyes locked on the brunette walking next to him, listening to the birds softly singing along with one another. “I mean, I totally understand that. It’s not something that should be normal for people to do. Hell, it will never be normal.” Letting his tongue slide across his lips, he let his teeth softly tug on the bottom of his lips. “Besides, you’re doing amazing work in medical, Cassidy. Not everyone can pull the trigger. And that’s fine.” He really did mean that. It wasn’t something that everyone had in their blood to do. I can tell that you have. Furrowing his eyebrows slightly, Thomas looked at Cassidy confused. You have the same look in your eye that the others wear. I’m sorry for that. “Uh… I didn’t know I had a look,“ Thomas spoke, honestly, and a gentle smile appeared on his lips. 

Thomas smiled gently and nodded. What Cassidy said made sense. People did that. People didn’t want to get out of their comfort zones, because like Cassidy had said, people felt safe in that environment. And, if you suddenly started to challenge that, especially in High School, you could end up making your remaining years in school a living hell. Sometimes, being put in a category you didn’t fit in, felt like the right thing to do. Being strong and smart seemed to give off the impression that you had something to lose, so what better way to never lose than to have nothing in the worst place? It’s more about self worth than anything else. Thomas nodded his head softly and looked down at his feet, kicking some of the fallen leaves that laid on the ground. “But,” he spoke and furrowed his brows once more, “isn’t pretending to be something you’re not, you know, fucking with your self worth and ideals? You’re losing something the moment you decide to pretend you’re someone else.”

When Cassidy didn’t respond to his question straight away, Thomas knew that the nightmares were more terrible than she wanted to probably admit. It surprisingly made his chest tighten a little bit. He had nightmares too. He had nightmares of his parents’ dead bodies and coming home to find his little sister being gone from the safety of the house. Thomas kept his eyes on her when she started to edge towards something. I think it’s an old tow truck. Should we check it out? Thomas swallowed and nodded, before stuffing his hands into his pockets. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it, right now, so he decided to drop it. “Yes. Let’s go check it out. It might have some parts that can be used.” 

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"I tried once before but I -- I couldn't do it. I froze," Cassidy dropped her hand back to her injured side and resumed the absent picking of the frayed edges of the bandages. Cassidy had always tried her best when it came to pulling her weight amongst groups and she knew just how important killing the dead really was to the survival of the group as a whole, but when it boiled down to the action she just couldn't do it. She had to be saved and ever since then she had vowed to try harder in every other aspect of the new lives that they found themselves living. She would use her limited knowledge of medicine and help those in need, and she would talk and listen to those that needed that. She made herself indispensable whenever needed -- just as long as it kept her out of the dead's way. "I can tell that you have," she then added after a brief silence. "You have that same look in your eye that the others wear. I'm sorry for that."

"Yeah, it makes sense," the young adult nodded. She could only imagine what she'd be doing right now if the blackouts and outbreak didn't happen, but she knew for sure that she wouldn't be trekking through a forest trying to find car parts with this particular male. "I do, but I think that's more of a self-preservation thing more than anything. People like what's safe - what's known to them - so to step out of that comfort zone would be too much of an ask, so they act like they're expected to and cruise along. It happened a lot at the school I was in." Hell, even Cassidy had managed to get swept up in the wave of popularity and gaining brownie points among her fellow students, though she had always believed her reasonings were much different from the others. "That's not necessarily a thing isolated to cheerleading," she then went on. "Being strong and smart seemed to give off the impression that you had something to lose, so what better way to never lose than to have nothing in the first place? It's more about self worth than anything else."

"I --" She wanted to say that the nightmares she was having were nothing serious, that they were just an offset from being shot, but the waking nights and the sweat soaked shirts begged to differ. Still, Thomas didn't have to know every single detail and, right now, she'd rather focus on him -- especially now it was made known that he was now a year older. "Is that --" Something had caught her eye and she edged towards it. "I think it's an old tow truck. Should we check it out?"

I’ve never killed before, not even one of the dead. Thomas lifted his head and looked at Cassidy as she admitted she hadn’t killed someone before, not even one of the dead which shocked him. “You haven’t?” He was honestly a little surprised at that confession. She had definitely been lucky if that was the case. Thomas had killed someone before, although their hearts had stopped. He had never killed a human being though and hoped he never would have to. When he had been on his way to the Sanctuary, he had met two Zombies, who had been following him before they had attacked him in the middle of the night somewhere in Indiana. It ended up with Thomas crushing the head of one of them. We do what we must, Thomas. I know I don’t really get to say much because I refuse to carry a weapon, but I understand why others do. You’re never going to be judged for it. 

Thomas swallowed and looked at Cassidy, feeling his chest tighten. Don’t laugh, Thomas. He stopped instantly and looked at the brunette who spoke about how she did have a dating life at one time. “I think we all did. It just got put on hold, if that makes sense,” Thomas said and shook his brown-haired head at the thought of even dating someone right now, especially with how things were. Licking his lips quickly, he nodded as he listened to her speak about how she had simply drifted away from her ex-boyfriend, especially because the guy ate and breathed football. I guess I was just naive back then. Shrugging his shoulders, Thomas nibbled his bottom lip and looked at Cassidy. “I guess you’re right. People aren’t their outfits or whatever, but sometimes, they let it though, you have to agree with that? For instant, a lot of cheerleaders think that guys will like them if they act stupid,” he spoke and lifted his shoulders casually, letting them drop down afterwards. 

I didn’t want you to react at all because I’m fine. Thomas clenched his jaw and sighed as she said she wanted to just put it behind her and pretend it didn’t happen. I see it enough when I sleep, I’d rather not have to deal with it in my waking hours, too. Thomas had slowly began to walk again and he swallowed as he lifted his head and turned to look in the direction where Cassidy was. “You have nightmares?” 

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"Yeah," Cassidy agreed again. She had been caught in these types of discussions before but often remained in the neutral zone or in the background, rarely ever giving her own view on the matter due to the fact her opinion was very one sided and with the lack of experience, she didn't want to get involved in what she had never been interested in. Still, she could clearly see how each individual had adapted to something they thought they had known well just because of a video game. "I've never killed before, not -- not even one of the dead," she quietly admitted. Honestly, she was just too scared to. She couldn't get herself over the hurdle that was the fact they were once human -- they were once like her with hopes and dreams and now they were all gone. She just... couldn't. It was practically a goddamn miracle that she was still alive at this point. Well... falling apart, but alive nonetheless. "We do what we must, Thomas. I know -- I know I don't really get to say much because I refuse to carry a weapon, but I understand why others do. You're never going to be judged for it. At least, not by me anyway."

"Don't laugh, Thomas. I'm not a plank of wood, you know? I did have a dating life once. Okay, I've dated one person, but that's still one more than what people think. It was -- we had friends in common so we were set-up, he was a nice guy for a while, but then... well, you know what guys who live breathe and eat football are like. We drifted apart and I've preferred being on my own since." It was easier that way, she had thought. She didn't like disappointing anyone. "I don't think the uniform makes the person, but more often than not the person allows it to be so -- which leads to all these stereotypes that people can't break free from. I guess I was just naive back then." Cassidy had always done her utmost best to believe in the best of people, even if they didn't believe in it themselves, and it was very rarely something that paid off for her. Still, she kept going.

"Okay," she repeated, giving him a soft smile to further display the fact that she was okay. Yes, her side hurt, but she wasn't the only one in pain. She wouldn't make it all about her, she couldn't. "I didn't want you to react at all because I'm fine," she retorted without edge. "Honestly, Thomas. I think, at this point, I just want to put it behind me and pretend it didn't even happen. I see it enough when I sleep, I'd rather not have to deal with it in my waking hours, too." Though, deep down, she knew she had no choice. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

Listening to Cassidy talk about how she was happy that she didn’t play those kinds of games when she was younger, Thomas shrugged his shoulders casually as he could definitely see her point of view on the case. “I guess there is both good and bad sides to playing the games, you know? When you played it, at least you had some kind of an idea of what was happening when it did happen, but then again, it is quite different than how they present it in the different video games. When you kill a Zombie in the game, you don’t really think or realize the fact that they used to be humans before. When you kill one now, you…It just feels a lot more real. If that makes sense?” Thomas asked and looked at Cassidy. “It’s definitely a lot more difficult now to pull the trigger.” Swallowing the lump in his throat, Thomas looked down at his feet and kicked a stone in a random direction. 

“You dated a footballer? Honestly, I don’t really see it.” He laughed. “Back in my high school, the guys who played football were probably the stupidest guys I’ve ever met, and well, you’re smart. So, I’ll have to admit, I’m a little surprised. But, then again, I can’t really judge, can I? I dated a cheerleader, so,” he said and laughed softly. Thomas, please calm down. It’s healing okay? Thomas swallowed and nodded when she said that her Dad had been cleaning the wound whenever necessary. “Okay.” I didn’t tell you because this is how I thought you’d react. “Oh, what way did you want me to react, huh? Jesus Christ.” There’s more important things going on than me right now, and I refuse to be that burden. “Like, my birthday, is that what you’re saying? My birthday’s more important than you being shot.” 

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"I think the sad thing is that it was always like that, but now people have no reason or excuse to hold back or pretend," Cassidy muttered in reply. There was a long line proof in every single history book that backed up such a claim. The end of the world had just released everyone from the restraints that humanity had on those searching for peace and happiness. Now there was no point in searching for what no longer existed. "I --" Didn't know where she would be without her father? Cassidy knew she didn't have to verbalise those words for them to be true... or for him to know it, she had tried to show him it every day since he had saved her. "I love you, dad," Cassidy said for what seemed like the first time in her life before wrapping her arms around him, hiding her head against his chest like she were a small child hiding from the storm.

Dom could understand her view, understand her concern. “it was hard living in this kind of world where once everything was bright and now everything was dark and full of hatred and death. His fingers ran throuh her hair gently. “No one wants to and no one ever is ready when they do. But you….you’re not going to die unless it’s of old age, alright? Because I am never, never letting anything happen to you again. Seeing you….like that….that was probably the scaredest I’ve ever been. I’m going to ensure you live a full, healthy life.”

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"Yeah, I suppose so. I've heard a lot of people talk about the video games they used to play and the reality that they now live in. I guess I'm kind of happy that I never played any of them, you know? It was terrifying without, I have no idea what it would've been like to start out knowing what was going to happen. I don't think my hope would've been as strong." Because, now that she was living the nightmare of a post-Martyr'd life, it was extremely hard to hold onto any form of hope. She soon nodded, confirming his words. It was the life goal of a hot blooded American male -- or so she had been told a hundred times before when her friends used to coax her into joining the squad. "I dated a footballer for a while, but it wasn't really what I was looking for in my life. I chose to focus on my studies instead."

Cassidy flinched as the explicit word left his lips with ease. She was living in a broken down world, but swearing was still one thing she could never make herself assimilate to. "Thomas, please calm down. It's healing, okay? You don't have to worry about it. In fact, I implore you not to." Her hand rested on the arm that was holding hers and she tried to look him in the eyes, to portray the best 'I'm fine' look that she could muster. Yes, she thought she would die, but the reality was that she didn't. "My dad has been cleaning the wound whenever necessary, I promise," she insisted. "I didn't tell you because this is how I thought you'd react! There's more important things going on than me right now, and I refuse to be that burden."

Thomas chuckled softly and hummed, keeping his eyes on her. “Mostly worrying, if you really think about it,” he spoke and bit his bottom lip as he stared at Cassidy, who spoke about how the boys in her hometown were mostly concerned with football and dating the cheerleaders. To Thomas, it kind of sounded like every guy on the planet . “Yeah, well… To be fair, I think a lot of boys thought that was important back when they were younger and had no idea how it was gonna be. The dating the cheerleader part, I mean,” he spoke and shrugged his shoulders casually, when she protested his not important comment. 

Slowing down, his mouth fell open as he stared at Cassidy who had just told him she had been shot. “Woah, hold the fuck up. You’ve been shot? Are you kidding me?” Worry written over the boy’s face, he made his way over to where she stood and put his hand on top of her arm, pulling it aside. “I’m sorry, but right now, my birthday is kind of second to what’s going on right here. Have you checked it out? To make sure it’s not infected? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” he exclaimed angrily. 

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"Really? That's -- I think that's both worrying and fascinating at the same time. The boys in my hometown were mostly concerned with football and dating the cheerleaders," she shrugged. Then again, she had somehow been a friend to those people back in the day. "Not important? That's just --" She cut herself off as she tried to find an end to the sentence she was midway through speaking. "I was shot, now can we get back to the fact that you think your birthday isn't important? It is, Thomas, and we're going to --- I don't know how, but it will be celebrated."

“It was actually every boy’s dream back in my hometown,” Thomas spoke as casually as possible, while looking over at Cassidy, a soft shrug leaving his shoulders. Lifting an eyebrow, he narrowed his eyes slowly as he had noticed the hand clasping to her side, which made him wonder if something had happened. But, before he could ask, she realized that it was his birthday which made him roll his eyes. “I didn’t say anything because it’s not important, Cass.” Shaking his head, he slowed down and crossed his arms over his chest. “Now, are you going to tell me why you’re walking around like you’re in pain?” 

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"I don't think I would have liked to live like this at thirteen," Cassidy replied in a conversational manner as they walked, one hand clasped to her side as it ached more with every step she took. "Wait, it's your birthday? Why didn't you say anything earlier, Thomas?" Cassidy frowned at the male, somewhat downhearted by his confession. Birthdays were supposed to be special -- no matter what. "I'm... really sorry."

“You know, when I was like thirteen, living like this, would have been fucking awesome but now, not so much. Who would have guessed that I would be spending my 22nd birthday walking around in the woods looking for parts to a car that will go out and hunt for Zombies and kill them before they end up killing us?” Thomas shook his head and looked over at the person walking next to him, drops of sweat running down his neck. Looking down to make sure he placed his feet somewhere safe, he mumbled quietly, “this is absolutely insane.” 

[cassidyowcn-blog]

"I don't know how anyone can do that," Cassidy admitted. While she did begrudge her father for leaving her and her mother in favour of the army, but in hindsight; if it wasn't for his military background and his resolute personality. She had been, over the past few days, more than convinced that she shared more in common with him than she had originally thought. She just wished she were as brave as him. "I understand the need for caution, but I guess a part of me wished that humanity still existed, you know? That there was still a part of those remaining that had compassion, but now -- I don't know what to think. I've never seen someone so... dead to the world." She recalled the look in her shooter's eyes and it had haunted her ever since. She didn't understand how someone could find so much joy in hurting another human being, and with every passing minute - as that memory played in her thoughts on an endless loop - she believed less and less in the good that once existed in a person's heart. With her father's hands on her shoulders, the young adult looked up at him and nodded slightly. "I believe you, I just -- I thought I was going to die and... and I know where I'm going once I do, but -- I'm really not ready to die. Dad... I don't want to die."

Dom had been diving head first into trying to help the plans to rebuild and make the Park safe once again, even if it seemed like a fools errand at this point. Seeing Cassidy wounded, he was more determined than ever to make this place safer, if not for everyone, but her for. He couldn’t lose her. Hearing her, he finally looked up from what he was doing and listened to her question. It was understandable, this was not something most people were hardened for. “Yeah, in a way, it is, only it seemed easier to deal with then because we knew where the enemies were. It’s not so much coping as it was accepting that there are certain things beyond our control. We just….we adapted and took every precaution we could.” Cassidy wasn’t groomed for this. She never went to war or done anything like this and Dom wish she didn’t have to witness this. With a sigh he got up and walked over to her, gently putting his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye. “You can do this. You made it this far and you have me. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Not on my watch.”

[cassidyowcn-blog]

"Oh... I'm sorry," Cassidy frowned. The lengths that people had gone to during the breakdown of the world still surprised her even know. It was like humanity was truly eradicated. "I know it's not much of a consolation and most people would tell me to shut up, but maybe it doesn't have to be that kind of reminder. Maybe it can remind you that you survived, that you were strong enough to keep living? They only win if you think what they want you to think." She gave the other a sympathetic smile as she nodded. "I'm sorry you're hurting."

The medic looked from the brunette to the pile of rubble then back to the brunette. That should be simple enough just as long as she didn't overly exert herself or put too much weight or pressure on her injured side. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. I just want to help out." When she then asked her question, Cassidy swallowed and nodded. "I was with the children when it happened and I just -- I didn't think. One minute I was talking to a little boy about dolphins and the next I'm covering his body with mine. I just -- they tried to kill our children. That... haunts me."

“I went on a run by myself and got robbed. They wanted to give me a warning, and let me remember them forever. Their words, not mind.” she said softly. She swallowed a lump in her throat as she thought of the group that had did this, all of it. “It still hurts here and there, but it’s healing. Thank you for asking.” she said.

“I was picking up rubble from the fence so people can reuse it.” she said. “If you start to hurt or anything, tell me and you can stop.” she added. “Did those people do that?” she asked, nodding towards her arm.

[cassidyowcn-blog]

"I'm... not entirely sure," Cassidy finally conceded. There was no point in pretending otherwise now, she wasn't entirely well versed in masking her true feelings so it wasn't a surprise that he had turned the tables on her. "My dad is an army vet, but I've never had to see a gun or be around them until this whole thing started, and even at that I was never involved close to them. I uh -- I thought I was going to die the other day and I'm not really sure how I feel about that." The physical pain she could live with - that would heal - but mentally and emotionally? Cassidy was stumped.

He looked at her and smiled before shaking his head, he was all kinds of fine. “You sure? Kinda seems like i should be asking you those questions.” he said, and nodded towards her arm.

[cassidyowcn-blog]

@domxowen

Cassidy had been watching her father work for what felt like an entire day. She had been taking it easy ever since getting shot and was even more determined to make sure that she, as well as her father, stayed alive as long as they could -- God willing, of course. "Hey... dad?" she finally spoke. "Is this what it felt like in the army? You know, with the uncertainty of tomorrow? How did you even cope with knowing that there were others out there that wanted to kill you?" When the dead began to rise to feast on the living, a part of Cassidy had held onto the fact that humanity still existed. Now, after the recent attack, she wasn't entirely sure that humanity was once what she had believed in. "I don't know if I can do this."