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1-800-ARE YOU ffflllllufflflfflllfSLAPSLAPflflluffflallffSLAPPING

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9-Year-Old Me: “I’m just going to play a game quietly, what’s the worst that could happen?”

My Wii After My Bedtime:

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My brain riding out the last hour of work

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this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

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reblog if you’re gay, shy or a fucking idiot

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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

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Okay in my house we have a strange tradition. My mother builds this beautiful Christmas village.

It wraps all around our house through the rooms and under the trees and it’s wonderful.

Every year she hides the Christmas Vampire

This started when I was a very small got child and spread to all of my friends, including my best friend from elementary school who I just so happened to grow up and marry. Now that we have grown up and moved nearly 600 miles away we still always go home for a week at Christmas for multiple reasons, including the Christmas Vampire.

Needless to say we still partake and things have gotten heated.

Stay tuned for the epic conclusion and to see my husband and father in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s sooty costume when I find the Christmas Vampire First!

Happy Haunting!

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Holy fuck my sides

in hanks fucking voice, too

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My parents HATE overwatch because it takes up our entire wifi whenever my brother goes online and when I bought myself the new Zelda my mom was like “can I watch Netflix? or are you playing” and I was like no, no don’t worry it doesn’t take up internet. and she was so relieved and started walking towards the TV in her room and I was like “you want to watch it out here? I can switch to the handheld mode” and she was so impressed that she could watch Master Chef next to me while I played my game. Nintendo is truly the family system.

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if youve never physically been in the presence of like, a real live wolf, and you probably wont get the chance to, heres some stuff about them you should know

a wolf’s fur is so unbelievably thick that you can get like, your whole hand into it while petting. and then you can keep going

wolves are a lot bigger than you think they are. think about how big you think a wolf is then just like double that

they dont really smell like dog but they DO smell and youre not going to be able to figure out if its a good smell or not

a wolf really wants to lick the inside of your mouth. he will not stop trying to lick the inside of your mouth at any cost, and generally speaking you need to press your lips together kind of tightly when he approaches your face so that he doesnt worm his damn tongue in there to give you what he thinks is an appropriate greeting

a wolf doesnt really want to look at you while you pet him but he wants you to pet him. hes embarrassed

if a grown ass wolf decides to lay down on you, you just have to deal with it and thats your life now

young wolves, much like young dogs, are overwhelmingly goofy and stupid. a teenage wolf will see your very fragile, very human shoulder and go “i can probably step on that with my full weight” and then he will do it

letting a wolf eat out of your hand is actually not remotely frightening, and youll want to do it all day

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i don’t think you guys understand how much I think about this vid

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take this nachos supreme, for it is my body. and take this baja blast, for it is my blood.

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at first i was like “why did they make those things in his head weird growths and not hair??” but then i looked it up on the Pokemon Wiki and

It was never hair and Mr. Mime has always been terrifying