casualprincessbarbie

[casualprincessbarbie]

Do u write for ricky?

Not really… I see why people like him that way though for sure. The way he treats Lucy too, that stuck out to me. He is not a perfect man, but the effort he puts in to try for his lady is attractive as helllll

[casualprincessbarbie]

Julian (Trailer Park Boys) Masterlist

Julian X Fem!Reader Oneshots

❤️That Is Disgusting Julian

❤️Okay Maybe I Was Looking

❤️Spreadsheet, More Like Spread Legs

[casualprincessbarbie]

That Is Disgusting Julian - Julian (Trailer Park Boys) X Fem!Reader

Summary: You do a carwash to fund Trinity’s next field trip fees, and your boyfriend, Julian likes what he see’s. Ricky is insecure about not being able to afford the fees though, and has a tough day.

Warnings: Sorta dirty talk and flirting. No graphic smut tho. Swearing. Silly fic ngl. Julian x Reader.

Word Count: 4305

***

“Ricky, you better come up with the cash for Trinity’s field trip by the end of the day,” Lucy said, pushing him away with her hand on his chest. Their daughter had a school field trip coming up and the fees were due in two days. Ricky was growing dope again to help support his family, but this batch wasn’t going to be ready in time. He gave up his attempt at funding the school trip and thought great, Trin will get the day off and we’ll just do crafts with her or some shit. This was not an acceptable answer for Lucy. The mother wanted her daughter to fit in at school and be ‘normal,’ as normal as she could be given her upbringing. Holding her back from attending the field trip would make her stand out as sheltered. Asking the school for financial assistance would be embarrassing and then some administration might be suspicious of Trinity’s home situation. “Don’t you understand, she needs to go on this field trip? It is really important to our little girl, so GET THE MONEY,” Lucy was trying to make him understand the stakes.

While Lucy and Ricky were bickering on the porch, you and Sarah noticed. The three of you were roommates, and that made the lot fee’s easier to cover. Instead of worrying about making the payments you were able to spend extra cash on more exciting expenses. “Sarah, we should check on Lucy,” you suggested after hearing the low shouts turn into yelling outside.

Very quickly you could tell what the conversation was on. Lucy was telling you and Sarah the other day about Trinity’s upcoming field trip. The one that Ricky was supposed to pay for. In fact, he had been told about the fees the month before. “Whatever Ricky, I guess you just want Trinity to do just as well as you did in school!” Lucy was upset at Ricky for failing to get the cash needed. It frustrated her even more that it seemed like he wasn’t trying very hard.

Ricky’s Confessional: Is it so bad if Trin wants to be like her dad? Eh either way, if she wants to do well in school she totally can. She’s like 10 but she’s 100 times smarter than Cory and Trevor. I’ll figure out a way to get the money though. Julian can help me rob someone or something.

“Ricky, I think you’re done here,” you told him, starting to nudge him down the doorsteps. “‘You’re done here,’ ‘you’re done, blah blah blah, you know what, you’re done Y/N. Fuck off, I’m trying!” You crossed your arms and let Sarah and Lucy get him off the property.

You felt bad for Lucy, and mostly Trinity. The class was going to a week-long camp to do a bunch of different activities. Trinity was supposed to go kayaking, which she’d never done. Everyone in her class was excited to go, making her figure that so should she. Thankfully, she was out with her friends at the playground while her parents were arguing. Your mind was searching for ways to possibly fix the issue. The little girl had an expectation by now that she was going kayaking, telling her otherwise was going to be heartbreaking. Sarah and Lucy were sulking while you thought. You weren’t going to let money get in the way of her going on that field trip, “Hey girls, I have an idea.” The other two women perked their heads up for a moment. “We can do a carwash today and tomorrow. It’s only 9 AM, so we can get set up by noon just outside of the park. A lot of cars pass through since the gas station is across the street,” you got excited yourself as you explained a plan. Your roommates were right on board as well. Sarah went, “My god, Y/N, you are a genius! If we’re wearing our bathing suits we can easily make a ton of cash. Trinity gets her fees first obviously, but if we make extra we can go shopping for once.”

Lucy’s formerly frowning face was brightened by your idea. She wouldn’t have to keep relying on Ricky for this money and her baby girl would get her school experience. “You used to do dancing at that ‘gentlemen’s club,’ right Lucy? We can bring the ghettoblaster and play some music. If we’re working we may as well have fun right?” Your plan was looking better and better as you three worked out the details. “Hell yes!” Lucy was a hundred percent down with the carwash.

While you, Sarah and Lucy were gathering all the tools you would need for the carwash, Ricky was asking Julian for help. “Trinity wants to go kayaking with her class on the field trip, but I don’t have my dope to sell yet. Julian, man you gotta give me a hand here. We gotta come up with 200$ by the end of the day. Lucy’s gonna freak if we don’t.” Julian loved Trinity like a daughter, so he wanted her to go to the camp. However, it was annoying that somehow Ricky’s failure was all of a sudden his problem. “Ricky, just calm down. We can sell some of the blunts we have from the last batch,” Julian was trying to get his friend to stop panicking. He knew the blunts wouldn’t be quite enough to pay the fees, but he’d eventually find a way to compensate. “Come on bud, just take a seat and let’s think about what else we could possibly sell, pawn maybe?” Ricky sighed and nodded his head as he went to sit down on the sofa.

Julian began to rifle through his cabinets for anything of value that would make him some quick cash. The phone started ringing. Ricky wanted to make sure Julian knew so he shouted, “Julian, JULIAN, JULIAN, SOMEONE IS CALLING YOU!” He picked up the phone with a cautious “Hello” and then realized it was you. “Hey Babe, what’s up?” Ricky was annoyed that it was you. He didn’t hate you, but he knew that Julian worshipped the ground you walked on and it was extremely distracting. You were the center of Julian's world now, and you were close with Lucy. “Jules, I can’t go out this afternoon, but after dinner would work,” you were letting him know that the lunch date you had set was a no-go. He was disappointed at first, but he was fine with it if he could see you later in the day. If it was later in the day perhaps he could get you to stay the night with him. He’d been meaning to ask you to, but it never happened. You were starting to wonder if he ever wanted you to stay over. “That’s cool, I’ll pick you up at 9. Can I ask what you’re up to this afternoon?” The conversation was going on painfully long for Ricky’s liking. He was rolling his eyes and imitating how he imagined you talking but without the noise. The frustration built up enough that he tugged on Julian’s classic black shirt and pointed at his watch once he was sure he had his attention. “You’re doing what? Sorry, you’re breaking up a bit. We’ll talk about it later Y/N,” he was able to say before hanging up. He wasn’t sure what you were saying, but it was something about a car getting washed, the gas station, and the girls.

As soon as Julian took the phone off his ear, Ricky grabbed it for him and plopped it back down. “We gotta sell those joints right fucking now-” he started panicking again, but Bubbles interrupted the man by letting himself into the trailer. “Hey boys, how’s it going?” He was being his friendly self as usual, but Ricky didn’t have time for smalltalk, “It’s going shit. Bubs, can you help Julian and I score 200 bucks by the end of the day? Trinity has a field trip coming up.” Bubbles agreed to sell the blunts with them and go through his shed when he got the chance.

Julian was glad Bubbles was on board, but got curious as to why he came over in the first place. “I came here because I saw your girls with Sarah putting up some fliers. Y/N was carrying a big ole sign that said ‘$18 & We’ll Wash Your Car.’ I was wondering if you guys knew about that. I mean I think it's nice-,” this time Ricky was interrupting him, “They’re gonna strip on cars?! I thought Y/N for sure was too much of a prude to do that but I guess I was wrong about her.” Ricky was impressed at first that the girls were being resourceful, but it bothered him that Lucy felt like she couldn’t rely on him.

Ricky’s Confessional: So I’m thinking, whatever, the girls can do their thing, but I’ll make more money than them by the end of the day. I’ll show them!

Julian’s Confessional: Y/N’s a clever girl, but sometimes she really shocks me. I’m not worried, but I just wanna make sure she’s safe and all. I’ll make sure I pop by sometime this afternoon to check.

“Guys let’s just gather our leftover blunts and then sell them to dumb college kids. Go now. Regroup at my place, then we’ll hit the road,” Julian directed his friends. Bubbles gave him a salute and went on his way. Ricky ran out the door and tripped down the stairs, “Fuck, fucking steps are always tripping people up. I think there’s a hole in my pants again. Bubs you gotta fix this for me later.”

By 11:30 AM, the first customer came to the carwash you, Sarah and Lucy had masterminded. It was an awkward looking boy that looked like he was in his post-secondary years. He handed you a. $20 bill and said to keep the change, so you girls got to work. “You’re welcome Jacob,” you all called out as he was driving away After he thanked you for cleaning the outside of the car.

You wore a white bikini top made of a knitted material on the outside of the demi-cups. The demi-cups covered less of your boobs than regular ones did, but it was cute and would probably serve the fundraiser well if you show a little extra skin. For bottoms, you had blue denim shorts on. They came up high enough that when you bent over enough, the bottom of your ass would show. Lucy and Sarah were styles almost identically so that you all looked like a cohesive team.

At one point, Randy and Mr. Lahey were at the gate of the park. “Good to see you guys working hard. Ricky could learn a thing or two about that,” Lahey said from the other side of the road. You didn’t want to encourage him, but you all couldn’t help but chuckle. Mr. Lahey and his assistant supervisor were whispering to each other frequently and looking over at you guys. No one could tell what they were saying, but the camera crew was able to catch a glimpse of the conversation’s audio. “Mr. Lahey, is this what you meant when you told me to wash down your car?” “Yes Randy. We can do some roleplay about this tonight if you’d like…”

The cars kept coming and at 2 PM you had made $60. “Sarah, Lucy, I’m relieved this plan is working to be honest. I wasn’t sure how much business we’d get,” you opened up with them as you were all working on the fourth car so far. Lucy spoke up, “I didn’t think it would be this good, but I’m super happy with this.”

You smiled and looked down again at the window you were scrubbing. As the afternoon went by you couldn’t help but think of your boyfriend. Earlier, on the phone you were hoping he would catch on to what you were doing and that maybe he’d drop by. Sarah could see you losing a bit of focus so she started cleaning beside you while Lucy distracted the driver for a while. “Y/N, girl, I know you miss Julian. You’ll see him tonight, so you have that to look forward to,” she encouraged you to lighten up. “I know, it’s silly. I secretly hope he comes by. It would be funner prancing around and all over his car than some weird guy I don’t really know haha,” you joked around. Lucy had been eavesdropping as she scrubbed the passenger door while leaning on it, “If he comes by he’s gonna faint seeing you like this!”

Meanwhile, a few blocks away, Julian was driving with Ricky and Bubbles to head home. They had sold the weed, but came up short of what they wanted. The quota was over double of what they had made so far and they weren’t sure where to go from there. Julian was tired of fighting about money all day and just wanted to go home. Then he remembered his talk with you on the phone and what Bubbles said. As he was pulled up to the park he could see Sarah, Lucy and you, Scrubbing a car down with sponges and then waving away the car you just washed. “Looks like we’re taking a short stop before home boys,” Julian said. Ricky was feeling more confident compared to how he did in the morning because now he had $55 to pitch in. It was a lot better than the initial zero.

Julian rolled down his window and tried to play it cool when his girlfriend approached. “What can I do for ya,” you asked with your upper body leaning down so you could see him better. “Just a carwash ladies,” he turned over to Ricky to grab the cash they had made. Ricky sat there with his arms crossed, pouting. Julian had to elbow him hard to snap him out of it and yank the money from him. After that moment he passed the $55 dollars to you with a smirk on his face. “Wow, you must be feeling generous today…” you commented, slowly putting the money into your bag, making sure Lucy saw how much the boys brought.

You and Lucy started on the windshield, with Sarah starting by the trunk. The sponges from the soapy buckets came out and onto the windshield of Julian’s Monte Carlo. Your knees were placed on the hood as you rubbed the sponge on the glass. Your chest on display for Julian as you lingered predominantly on your right side. When your sponge was running out of soap water, Lucy started scrubbing the other side. Once the windshield and hood were cleaned up, you progressed to the driver’s window and Lucy went to the passenger. As you washed down the window in front of Julian you made sure to put on a bit of a show for him. Even the sound of your boobs scraping up against his window as you leaned over to clean the top of his car was turning him on, so the sight riled him to a level he was having a hard time not rolling down the window and just grabbing you.

When you were done with the window and top of the car he did roll it down. It took everything in him to control his urges and contain himself. “d’you lean over like that for every customer?” You were now squatting down to clean the spaces below the windows. “Nah, just the handsome ones,” you assured your man. It gave him joy feeling so special to you. Julian gave you a low growl, and said “Good girl. I’ll make sure I show you later tonight just how much I appreciate this,” licking his lips for a brief moment.

Before you could flirt back with him you heard Ricky blurt out “Oh my fuck that is disgusting Julian. I’m right here, I don’t need to know how bad you wanna bang Y/N.” It felt awkward for you when Ricky said it like that. Maybe it was a bit too public. Luckily Sarah spoke up for you, “Ricky, shut up. It’s sweet. At least they like each other. You and Lucy have been flipping each other off through the window for the past 5 minutes.” She had a point. You didn’t see much of it because of Julian, but you caught them exchanging creative ways to say ‘fuck you’ in different unorthodox ways of sign language. Ricky had no retorts that would be able to properly stand up to you girls so he ended the interaction sticking his tongue out at you, Sarah, and then finally, Lucy. “Fuck off! BUT MAKE SURE THAT MONEY GOES TO TRIN’S FIELD TRIP!” He went off as Julian started driving away so Ricky couldn’t make the interaction any uglier.

Y/N’s Confessional: Jokes on him, we made over a hundred dollars today. So the $55 from them, plus tomorrow… that’ll easily cover Trinity’s fees.

Lucy and Sarah chimed in as you said that with a “Kaching!”

“Rick, why’d you start that shit?” Bubbles was upset because he didn’t like all the yelling. Especially if it was between his friends. Ricky tried to play dumb as if he didn’t just piss off everyone. Bubbles wanted an answer so he clarified, “it wasn’t cool to call out Julian for flirting with his girl.” He knew his behaviour was bad so he admitted to his two best friends in the world, “Okay, maybe, just maybe, I was slightly jealous that Julian has this good thing going, and I’m just over here fighting with Lucy all the time. I love her, but it does get tiring once in a while. Anyway, I’m sorry Julian.” The men all were tired from the day so they embraced in a group hug to clear the air officially. Julian let Ricky know, “Apology accepted, just don’t do that again,” as he patted his shoulder.

Ricky’s Confessional: Maybe I was being hard on them at the carwash. I don’t regret saying it though because they are all over each other and it is GROSS.

Julian’s Confessional: He said that?! I can’t believe him sometimes. You know, when he and Lucy go at it, the whole park can hear them. I’m not exaggerating, it wakes me up at least once a month.

Bubbles: Well, I kind of wanted to say to Ricky that he was being hypocritical about the PDA stuff, but then I would have to explain what that means. That’s too much work.

At 8:30 Julian drove over to your place. He was early, but it was because he was anxious. The carwash got him hot and bothered. His thoughts for the rest of the day were dominated by you in the bikini top and shorts.

After finishing the 6th car, you took a shower and got ready for the date. When Julian knocked on the door, Sarah and Lucy let him know you were still getting ready. Somehow he convinced them to let him into the trailer and find you. You were putting on lipstick as the door creaked open. Julian slowly stepped inside and hugged you from behind. He breathed in your scent after kissing your head. “Wanna grab your toothbrush and stuff. I don’t know, pajamas maybe as well,” he suggested. Oh my god, he wants me to stay the night! You realized. Trying not to reveal how excited it made you, you simply nodded and grabbed the essentials.

On the drive over to Julian’s trailer, you two saw Trinity walking with Ricky. That got Julian interested in how the work day was for you, “You girls make enough money from the carwash?” It made you proud how from one day you had all helped make Trinity’s field trip possible, “With the cash you guys gave us plus the cars we actually made the $200. Tips from customers sure helped.” Julian had his eyes still on the road, but he took his right hand and lightly slapped it on your thigh while he said “Well, you looked good while doing it. I'm sorry Ricky was being nasty. He says he’s sorry, it was hard for him to see us flirting.” Although what he did made you annoyed, throughout the day it became funnier as you replayed it in your head. Being angry at him was too much effort so you already laughed it off.

“It’s fine. We were joking earlier that it’s him being salty he hasn't gone on a date in ages. Also, was Randy just rubbing himself on Lahey’s car like he’s a bear on a tree just now?” You turned to get a second look for a second as Julian started going faster. “If Ricky think’s we’re gross, I hope he sees that,” Julian wanted to wipe his mind from seeing the greasy shirtless man rubbing the car with his back side. You also wanted to unsee the sight, “Mr. Lahey was just staring and drinking his liquor, what a freak.” Your boyfriend also saw what you saw, but talking about it further would make it last longer in his mind. “Babe, let’s focus talk about anything else!”

“Oh yeah, so what are we doing tonight?” It was almost completely dark outside, and most places were closed. “I was thinking we could have a chill night. Watch some television and then go to bed,” could have been a lame suggestion, but being with the man you loved was easily enough to satisfy you.

When you were walking up his doorsteps hand in hand he waved off the camera crew to go away for the day. The night started with flipping through television channels for a couple minutes, but whatever you settled on wasn’t that riveting because you and Julian kept talking about random things. “So who came up with the idea today? Especially those outfits,” he questioned. Julian had you laid back with your head resting on his lap while he played with your hair. “All me Jules, did you like it?” You sat up a bit to get a better look at his expression. He was impressed with how you came up with it on the fly, but “Truthfully, as hot as it was, I don’t like the idea of other guys just getting to see that.” You weren’t going to brush off his feelings so you got up to sit beside him and keep watching him. He kept going with his thoughts, “I always want you to be safe, you know that. You’re like my angel though, so it feels like I should always be guarding you somehow. Right now, getting you all to myself is the best actually. I guess it’s silly.” Julian grabbed his glass and took a swig, not expecting much of a response from you.

“I have to do it tomorrow too. The sign and fliers included it so the girls wanted to make some extra money…” he was already nodding his head in defeat. “But, I think I know how to make it up to you,” you recovered the circumstances for your man. You had planned on getting some action that night, but now wanted to take it a step further. “This might make some people in Sunnyvale upset. I don't care though. I want you to make me scream Jules. Please, make me scream for you. Then everyone’s gonna know exactly who’s gonna be after ‘em if they give me the wrong look. Right Babe?” Now your legs were wrapping around Julian’s hips, your arms snuck their way around his neck and your face was dangerously close to his. “Anything you want Y/N,” he obliged with a dazed tone and his eyes locked on yours.

1 AM

Ricky was in his car when he first heard the rumbling from Julian’s place. The weather was warm enough and your bodies were sweating so you had cracked open the window, making the audible moaning louder to those around. “Fucking hell! Shut the fuck up you two! If you don’t quit it I’m gonna- I’m gonna, fine I’m not sure, but you gotta stop!” Ricky was demanding from outside Julian’s trailer. It was a taste of his own medicine but he wanted none of it.

Ricky’s Confessional: Y/N and Julian are like teenagers when they get together. I have no idea where it comes from but they’re just on each other 24/7. Like you would think they’d get tired, but no. There are breaks, and I’ll think it is finally over... but they’re still going.

Ricky was going back to his car telling the camera crew, “I think I can finally sleep now. No more ‘fuck faster’s for me to endure. I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow-“ he was sorely mistaken. “Juliannnn, it’s your turn to be on top I think big guy!” You called out. Ricky was pissed. He was hitting the ground with his hockey stick, raging. “Goddammit! What does it take for a man to have peace around here!”

11 AM

Bubble’s Confessional: Oh, I had no idea until you guys just told me about the noises last night. See, after Lucy and Ricky being so loud I make sure to keep some ear plugs next to my bed. I just block out the greasy stuff.

Julian’s Confessional: Last night was awesome. Can’t tell you what we did, but Y/N’s probably moving in soon.

Ricky’s Confessional: SHE’S MOVING IN?! No no no no, that can’t happen. I need sleep! They didn’t stop until Like 3 AM. Guys, I think I’m gonna have to start parking the car somewhere else if this keeps up.

Author’s Note: Man I don’t even know why this one got so long. I don’t mind it though. Hopefully you enjoyed!❤️

[casualprincessbarbie]

Okay Maybe I Was Looking - Julian (Trailer Park Boys) X Fem!Reader

Summary: Julian’s your gym crush and he likes you. You take Sarah to the gym and Ricky fucks things up, so Julian’s trying to sort everyone out.

Warnings: Swearing. Lowkey, Julians creepin’ on you. Just looking a lot lol.

Word Count: 2289

***

Working out was an amazing outlet to release negative energy. This energy was usually rage from people at work or elsewhere pissing you off. Regardless, the gym always eases your mind. Lately, there’s been a feeling as if someone’s watching. The people there were usually from the park, but occasionally there were severely cheap gym rats. Ah gym creeps, not many of them, but there’s usually a couple. Whatever, as long as they didn’t make a physical move you thought. If someone was going to be staring though, you had a preference.

There was one man you wanted to see during your gym trips. Julian, the owner of the place. He was always lingering around the building. Sometimes he was lifting weights himself, telling employees what to do, or sipping on his drink on a break, leaning on a wall outside. Before the gym, you had heard of him, since he’s always firing his handgun and fighting with Mr. Lahey. With you being a regular now, you knew each other’s names. He’d always ask how your workout was on your way out. It was a nice routine of being acquainted, but it would be nicer to get a bit closer.

You never knew, but when Julian was at the main desk checking people in and you would walk out, his eyes were trained directly on your ass. As soon as the door was closed and he noticed the camera crew giving him a look he’d give them the death stare demanding “Would ya stop filming me!” As far as you could tell though, he was just the friendly gym owner. Of course with the sexy raven black hair, tall stature and solid chest.

One day you showed up to the gym with Sarah. She didn’t usually go with you, but she said she was trying to get more exercise these days and you seemed like the perfect person to help her out. Sarah was one of your best friends in the park. The woman met you when she got back from jail and didn’t have a place to stay, so you let her crash for a few days before she patched things up with Lucy. She said she’d introduce you to her soon.

“Oh yeah by the way Sarah, the owner of this place… he’s so cute but I never seem to be able to have a solid conversation with him. It’s good because he makes sure to chit chat with me everyday, but you know, I wanna be able to talk to him outside of here, if that makes sense,” you told her getting out of the car. In that moment Sarah from surprise spray spit out her sip of water she was in the middle of. “Y/N, do you mean Julian?! Fuck I grew up around that guy. Him, Ricky and Bubbles,” Sarah started explaining that she actually knew your gym crush. In fact Lucy was in a relationship with Ricky and they had a daughter, Trinity. You asked what Sarah knew about Julian and she said, “Well, he’s a leader, he tries to take care of everyone in the park. People usually don’t describe him as ‘cute,’ but I can see it. Warning you right now though, I know he’s had a few run-ins with the law over the years.” The last part was a bit worrisome, but eh it was a trailer park, most of the people there were a little questionable.

Once you guys got inside the gym you went to use the lat-pulldown machine. You showed Sarah how to do the movement slowly and how to grip the bar with your hands properly, before doing a set. Then it was her turn. Repeat the cycle.

All of a sudden in the middle of Sarah’s third set a man with curly ginger hair and a tacky shirt shoved her to the side saying “Fuck off Sarah, I gotta get this done before my date with Lucy!” Sarah was on the ground and started getting up with you helping her. When she got both feet steady on the ground you were ready to be angry at this jackass.

“You, yeah you asshole. Why’d you just push my friend in the middle of her set? That’s extremely rude you entitled prick,” you stood up for Sarah. Both of you had your arms crossed, glaring at Ricky. A scene was starting to form after Ricky had first shoved Sarah. Ricky was getting more and more agitated by the situation he had caused. “Sarah, and I don’t know who the hell you are, I have to get ready for my date in 30 minutes, but these muscles gotta be taken care of right now. You two are fucking up my workout-“ Ricky was stopped in the middle of his tangent by Julian coming over and slapping his hand over Ricky’s mouth. He looked beyond embarrassed, as he should at his friend’s behaviour. “Girls, I’m really sorry for what just happened, you can work out here for free for the next month. I’ll make sure Ricky leaves you alone for the rest of your workout,” he assured you. Ricky was trying to yell through Julian’s hand. You couldn’t believe Sarah’s friend was actually dating this guy.

Ricky’s Confessional: The new girl is annoying, should know her place you know. Fuck, I can shove Sarah whenever I want. She was in the way!

Julian pushed Ricky behind him, still trying to defuse the situation. Ricky was still swearing at you and Sarah so you yelled back, “If you’re so worried about your date, working out the day of isn’t going to hide the fact you’re out of shape you loser!” Probably not the most calming thing to say, but this guy deserved it. That comment got Ricky furious. How dare she downplay my muscular physique! He got free from Julian and was charging at you. Usually you would be more afraid of a man, but Ricky was the definition of sloppy.

Y/N’s Confessional: Yeah I punched him.

Once he was close enough in range to you he gave him a solid right hook. He was toppling over after the punch and then hit the ground when you kneed him in the abdomen. As soon as he hit the ground, Sarah was raving about how what you had just done was “So badass.” However, you were scared because that was probably technically assault of some sort. At least he attacked first so it should be categorized as self-defense. “Julian, my apologies for the scene, we’ll just get goin’,” you told him. With everyone staring you just wanted to go home. “Y/N, wait-,” Julian started trying to get you to stay, but you and Sarah were gone.

Ricky was fuming, ready to hit anything in his vicinity. After what happened Julian was pissed. “God Ricky, why’d you do that? Y/N just ran off because of you,” he had his hand with no drink shoving his pointer finger in Ricky’s chest. “Well if they just stepped aside when I asked them to, none of this would've happened,” Ricky pathetically tried to defend himself. His lying skills were handy with the police, but Julian could see right through him by now. Julian was fed up and tired of listening to his excuses, “You better be on your way for your date. Lucy’s probably waiting.” The ginger put his head down and shyly walked away like a defeated child. Julian also took this opportunity to tell everyone, “Go mind your business, nothing happened.”

Julian’s Confessional: Fucking Ricky, he messed up the whole thing with Y/N and I. I’m pretty sure Sarah told her Ricky’s my friend, so now it looks like I'm hanging out with dicks.

Y/N’s Confessional: For sure Ricky’s a dick. I don’t know, I’ll probably talk about it with Julian later. I mean I hope he didn’t break the pulldown machine.

You dragged Sarah back to the car and hopped in just to escape the people and the gym for a while. “Sarah, let's go back after dinner, but I don’t want to go right now,” you explained. Sarah understood because she’d been dealing with Ricky for the majority of her life.

Since the workout fell through, you left the park for a quaint little diner nearby. Sarah was telling you some stories about being back in school with the boys. “Oh they were trouble. Actually Ricky wasn’t too bad at school because he dropped out when Julian stopped helping him with every single thing. That was probably grade 9.” Very quickly you noticed the pattern that Julian was the responsible one compared to Ricky, and that Ricky took his guidance a lot of the time. After some silly moments from childhood and teen years, Sarah went on about more current events. “Ricky is really annoying a lot of the time, but I’ll admit, I do think he loves Lucy. He’s always trying stupid shit to impress her. It rarely works out the way he thinks it will though. He loves Trinity too. His daughter means a lot to him for sure,” she was revealing his redeeming qualities. After that it was hard to hate him as much. It was very difficult to believe at first, but sometimes he really is that stupid, apparently.

7 PM

You and Sarah got back to the gym ready to get focused. The pulldowns were tried again, with better form this time. Sarah had gotten the hang of the exercise a bit more and there were no big men to crash into her in the middle of it. After the pulldowns you were doing pullback rows with the machine.

Julian was looking from a distance. He was checking to make sure all the machines were running smoothly, the weights were in the right places, and on you coaching Sarah. It was getting harder for him to focus on anything but you as the workout progressed. Next, you did bent-over rows with one hand and leg on the bench. He was using the mirror to see your chest, the way the shadow between your tits was more pronounced in that position and they looked so juicy to him. That and the way your ass looked while it was leaning slightly back. What he was forgetting was that Sarah had a good full view of the mirror too while you were doing the exercise. Julian saw Sarah raising an eyebrow and her arms folded. She was so onto him. He looked down, up, then to the side, anywhere away from you so maybe you wouldn’t catch him staring.

“Hey Y/N, your gym crush is totally looking,” Sarah pointed out once you finished your bent-over rows. You glanced around the gym and saw him restocking the machine wipes dispenser. “Hah hah, very funny Sarah. Are you sure? He’s just doing work probably,” you were reasoning with her. Also yourself because it’s dangerous to get your hopes up for any guy. Your friend wished you could have seen the way Julian was looking and then looking away whenever he realized he got caught.

When you finished your workout with Sarah you decided to talk to Julian on the way out like you always do. The two of you greeted each other like usual, but this time you were giving him more from the eyes. He was standing closer up than he normally did, so he seemed a lot taller. His body was intimidating but that’s what also made it so hot. “I’m really sorry about the Ricky thing-,” “ No, don’t mention it, we all have friends who do stupid things once in a while,” you interrupted his apology. Sarah tapped you on the shoulder saying she’d meet you at the car. Julian was glad to have a bit more privacy in the conversation. “I liked how you stood up to Ricky actually. He’s my buddy but he was asking for it. Anyway, you wanna go out sometime?” You were still giving him an innocent look that made it harder for him to keep his cool. “Yeah, when?” After setting up the date you were feeling brave. “Yeah I was told you were looking over at me a lot earlier, but I said you were probably busy.” Julian’s face went red as he thought about a smooth way to respond, “It probably looked like it. Okay I was looking,” real cool Julian, he thought, fucking creepy. He was mentally kicking himself but you were giggling

As soon as you got back to your car with Sarah leaning on the passenger side, you were so excited to share what just happened. First though you were curious, “Do you think he likes me?” Sarah had seen the beginning of the interaction and assessed, “He definitely thinks you’re cute, he was looking at you that way.” That made you smile, but you smiled harder as you told her, “Ah that kind of makes sense… because he just asked if we could go out this weekend!” Sarah’s eyes widened and she screamed with you for a quick second.

Sarah’s Confessional: I’m happy for Y/N but she’s definitely too good for Julian. He better treat her like a queen. Fucker.

Ricky’s Confessional: I was talking to Bubbles a few minutes ago. Yeah he told me Julian’s all hyped up for his date this weekend with Y/N. He’s such a horny bastard. That gym girl has got him hooked around her middle finger to flip at me. Whatever. Lucy was mad I was late for the date and now I can't come into the trailer. This is all Y/N’s fault. Her and Trevor and Cory somehow I bet.

[casualprincessbarbie]

Spreadsheet, More Like Spread Legs - Julian (Trailer Park Boys) X Fem!Reader

Summary: Julian meets the reader in an accounting class and very quickly sexual tension is rising. They get to know each other but he just hopes that Sunnyvale won’t humiliate him in front of her.

Warnings: just typical swearing. There is no real serious smut. Age gap (Julian’s like 40 but the reader is early 20s)… You can pretend she’s more like 30 if you want. He’s just noticeably older.

Word Count: 2458

***

Julian had to complete an accounting course for community college. He thought Fuck I don’t know how to start with this excel shit. It was time to do one of his least favourite things. Asking for help.

“Hey, you got any idea how we’re supposed to separate these damn columns?” He asked to the guy beside him, to the left. You laughed at his simple question. Students were supposed to know the basics of the tool a while ago, the laugh was a bit louder than anticipated and people turned their heads for a brief moment.

Julian’s head turned too. It didn’t go back though, just stayed and his eyes glared at you for a moment. “What’s so funny?” His usual annoyed tone was present. “Hah, just the fact even a well trained toddler could do this work.” As someone used to spreadsheets, his struggle seemed hilarious. You only got him more angry.

You had been sitting in the row in front of him so he’d only seen the back of your head. Thankfully people started to get up and leave as the lecture had just ended. As you swing your bag over your shoulder —ready to go— Julian hopped the desk and got in your way. “Look, if you’re so confident a toddler could do this can you train me?” This was the first time you two saw each other’s face, but the voice was recognizable. He was better looking than expected. You thought it was the voice of a lazy frat boy who probably was too hungover to consider school most of the time. No, this man was older. Interesting. “If you pay me,” was your answer to his question.

Julians thoughts had gone in a sequence of shit she’s hot, she sounds smart, she could help me, to oh great she’s gonna think I’m so poor. That’s why a lot of the girls he had been with were from the park. Those girls wouldn’t be able to look down on him for his financial situation. You probably had a home a lot fancier than a trailer. “Uhm…” he was already embarrassed, “See I don’t have room to let cash go at the moment. School’s so expensive you know, I-.” You understood. Being a student was a shitty place to be for your wallet. Cash flowing out but never in. Stopping him in his tracks you interjected “Fine, just get me some snacks when I’m ‘training’ you big guy.”

That’s when you quickly shuffled past him. Red cheeks flaring up as you got shy. Fuck, he’s not even that big. He’s just definitely hitting chest day at the gym. Still, he had for sure heard you. You were worried that you weirded him out with that nickname. Whatever, hopefully he thought it was a diss.

Before you were out of earshot he called out “Hey little lady, we gotta set a time and place!” Ah he was right. “Okay, well does tonight work?” You asked, walking back over to him.

4 hours later

“JULIAN! TELL RICKY TO GIVE MY KITTY BACK! Please?” Bubbles was yelling at Ricky who was adamant about keeping one of Bubble’s cats. The argument was getting heated as Bubbles brought his fist up.

“Oh my god guys, settle down. You can’t be pulling this shit today. I got someone from the college coming to help me out with an assignment soon. So please, just shut the fuck up!” Julian shouted at them. You were coming over to his place because your roommate was having a party. He was extremely anxious about how Ricky was going to act. Hopefully he wouldn’t get smashed or too stoned. Julian separated the two men and told them to settle the cat issue tomorrow morning. For now, Ricky could watch it.

Ricky’s Confessional: Man I don’t know why Julians so uptight at the moment. It’s probably because he’s back in school, now he’s got this stick up his ass all the time. And whats the deal with some person from the college coming here?

1 Hour Later

You pulled up to the address Julian gave you earlier in the day. Not quite sure what to expect you were still slightly taken aback when you could tell it was definitely a trailer park. Eh, you’d probably never come back so it was sort of cool to see what one was like. It seemed surprisingly tame. The sign on the way in was super friendly with the baby blue background and a bright yellow sun.

The trailer number you were looking for finally appeared. Julian was sitting outside on the porch talking to some old guy with a fat shirtless man next to him. “Lahey, don’t fuck with me tonight. I’m serious, bother me any other day. You should be polite too,” Julian pointed out with his fingers jabbed into the old man’s chest. He wasn’t using much force but the staggering back from “Lahey” said otherwise. At least it looked like Julian wanted to make sure the two of you wouldn’t be disturbed.

Your feet hit the gravel ground and you got out of your car. “Hope I’m not interrupting something here,” you cautiously said. Julian’s expression shifted from rolling eyes to flustered as he rushed you inside. “Ah don’t worry, we were just finishing up. We better get started on the spreadsheets right?”

He quickly shut the door on Mr. Lahey and Randy. They were always trying to catch the boys for doing something devious. “Mr. Lahey, do you think Julian’s gonna finish community college?” Randy asked mindlessly. His boss/boyfriend stopped the direction of the conversation and refocused it on catching the criminals. “No, don’t you see it’s probably just code for something. The man has no classes, he has no ‘spreadsheets.” He’s up to something and that woman he just invited into his trailer is probably an accomplice.”

Back in Julians trailer you two were sat on his couch with computers on laps. You were always quickly on top of school stuff so the work was done for your part. Teaching Julian how and where to put information was the task. “No, the writing isn’t glitching, you don’t need to make the cell bigger. Just wrap the goddamn text!” You could be rude at times, but eh he’d learn his lesson quicker if you hammered it into his head. Luckily he received your feedback positively. “Oh wow that’s easier than I thought.”

As the night went on you two started just hanging out, the assignment in the past. Julian got most of it done but planned to finish it the next day. He knew how to do it now, and if he ran into a problem he could call you up later. You were tired of staring at the screens and so was he. A glass of Coke and rum sat in front of him. A Coke for you because you had to drive home. “That’s crazy I love Nickelback too! Oh yeah, what are you up to tomorrow?” He asked. The conversation was more personal now. “I have a class at 3, but maybe I’ll sleep in, then workout first.” At this point he was feeling like ending the conversation would hurt. Good things never seemed to last long with him. If you were willing to stay over though, then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to let go in the morning.

“You know, it’s kind of late and dark out now. I don’t want you feeling unsafe, so if you wanna crash here you can. I know you like my couch haha.” He was right in the sense that your place was a bit of a drive back, plus you were getting sleepy. It was also nice that he offered the couch, not sharing the bed or something like that. “Mmm that sounds good Julian. I’d be kidding myself if I said I wasn’t starting to get drowsy.” The sound you made at the beginning of your statement was half innocent, half pleaseee make a move. Truthfully, it had been a while since you dated. Especially at the college. Those guys were either too boyish looking, or too boyish acting. The man in front of you was just so much cooler and masculine. The last guy you tried dating was hitting on a girl in front of you when you were both at a party. This experience was something you mentioned to Julian as he poured you guys Coke. You were just explaining how some people even as an adult could be insanely childish. He in a silly but half serious way agreed, “Oh trust me I deal with a lot of those types of people.”

Julian heard the slight moan you made, and then none of what you actually said. He nodded and tried to act as if he was paying better attention to your words. “Well, let me set you up with some better pillows,” he said getting up from his seat. However, you didn’t miss the way his hand squeezed your thigh first. It was like there was something restraining him, but not enough to fully stop him.

When he came back you were even more tired so you started absentmindedly leaning on Julian’s shoulder as he was starting to say goodnight. He was so thankful for the spreadsheet lessons, “I might be able to teach Ricky a thing or two now.” Next thing he knew you were fast asleep. Fuck she’s pretty he thought. For fear of being a creep he brought himself to look at his glass and l grab it before heading to his bed. Everything went so smooth tonight, he thought.

The Next Morning

“JULIAN! FUCK MAN, LAHEY IS GONNA CHECK MY PLACE FOR THE DOPE- AHHHH!” Ricky was shouting as he barged into the trailer only to be met with the sight of a random woman on his best friend’s couch. You were even more afraid than he was in that moment. “AHHHH,” you guys screamed at each other. The screams eventually stopped when Julian was stepping out of his room. “Ricky it’s too early in the morning for this crap,” he said. You were just curled up with a blanket, hugging a pillow to your chest as you watched them interact. “Nah Lahey said he’s getting a warrant so we gotta move this stuff as soon as possible. Also, what the fuck? Since when do you have a girlfriend? And who lets the chick their banging sleep on the couch?!” Ricky was now pointing his finger at you with disbelief written on his face.

Julian was face-palming with his other hand holding his glass. “Alright, I’ll help you move it, but let me get into my regular clothes and help Y/N get going.” He reasoned with Ricky but he kept talking. “Y/N, did Julian force you to sleep on the couch?” Ricky was so curious now. “Well if he did and you’re being nice, fuck him right. You are way too hot to be designated to the couch.” By now you were comfortable enough to speak up, “Julian and I just did homework last night and I didn’t want to drive that late at night.” Ricky was still not buying it.

“Uhmmm yeah I’m not stupid. Spreadsheet, more like spread legs. I know Julian would have tried to bang… so were you not feeling him or somethi-,” he was cut off by Bubbles entering the trailer. “Hey Julian we better move- oh gosh, did you get greasy last night?” Just as you thought it couldn’t get any more embarrassing the old man and the shirtless man stepped inside. “Woah, look what we have here, just a party of drug dealers right? Are you getting this young lady to sell it to her friends or something like that JULIAN?!” The old man was going into an interrogation. You were getting tired of the noisy assholes who were ruining your morning so you just broke.

“Hey! Ugly shirt and rodeo shirt, sit the fuck down and be quiet. You, with the naked scalp, and your lackey, get out right now. Just get out and fuck off. I know Julian from school and that’s it. I’m a student who bartends on weekends and nothing but. So stop pestering him with dumbass questions.” What you said was enough for Mr. Lahey and Randy to look shocked as they scurried outside. The three boys could talk shit, but when a put together looking woman calls them out it’s far more embarrassing.

After that, Ricky was impressed. He nodded his head with a subtle smile. “Wipe that stupid dopey smile off your dorky face. No fucking banging took place because we were doing work. Now, I’m going to say my goodbyes to you all, and then talk to Lahey.” At first Ricky was super confused on why someone would ever want to talk to Mr. Lahey, but then Julian pointed out how good of a distraction it would be while they haul away the weed.

You got Ricky and Bubbles to scram and wait outside. Julian stayed back with you for a few minutes. “You know you don’t have to help us. I don’t want you caught up in any of this at all.” He had this desperate look on his face but you weren’t sure what it was for exactly. “Shush, just let me handle your park supervisor. I’ve handled a lot of dummies like him. It’s fine, just get me a coffee or something.” You were annoyed by the start of your morning because of how sudden it was, but you could tell these men needed the money from the weed. Julian also seemed so sweet. He let you sleep at his place and didn’t demand anything in return. So this cover-up wasn’t so bad. “Fuck coffee, can I take you out for dinner?” “Deal.” You were ready to walk away when he caught your hand and spun you back to him. His chest felt the impact of your body slamming into his. “Can I give you a kiss too?” He softly spoke to you with his hands already on the sides of your face.

There was no verbal answer from you, but you swiftly brought your hands to his cheeks and dragged his face down to yours. “Go get your weed now big guy,” you said, pushing him out of the door.

Julian’s Confessional: I know I met her yesterday but I got a good feeling about her. She’s okay with me growing dope, and she helped us with Mr. Lahey. Fucking perfection.

Ricky’s Confessional: I’m pretty sure they’re banging.

Bubbles’ Confessional: Y/N seems nice. She sure can put a man in his place.