cat-hooman-blog - Tumblr blog

[cat-hooman-blog]

Here it goes again.

This time im not sad.. only angry. Ive been told im a person who could hold a grudge for the rest of my life.

I feel like ive been hurt enough. I trusted someone with nearly everything i have. Praise God i didnt.

Things ive learned over the last couple weeks

1. People are bastards. Everyone can be friendly but people end up being assholes. Its just the way we are. People are nice to me when im all chill with one person in their group, but in honesty, i mean absolute shit to them. I mean nothing UNLESS i can prove useful to them in some way. So, PEOPLE ARE SELFISH.

2. Even the sweetest people can prive to be childish narcissistic bastards. Its not fun realizing someone just used/wanted you as a friend with benefits (it didnt go too far but the implication was there), saying how much they loved you and lying straight to your face about it all. Be weary of silver-tongued liars. They'll say every damn thing you want to hear someone say... fill you up with promises and shit...then never make a lick of progress in their life. "These things take time" my ass. If you want it.. go and get it. You can get something of an immediate result if you fucking try. DONT BELIEVE ANYONE UNTIL THEY'RE PROVEN HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS.

3. Family is what matters. Even if youre someone who's not close to their blood relatives.. anyone youre close enough with to have a true family bond is who you need to stick to. Yes this one is all from the fast and furious movies...

Dont mess with a man's family. And in my case that one guy that got so close... hurt not just me but my family. Another strike to the anger list. THEY trusted him.. loved him as if he were one of us.. he FUCKED up. I gave him, the boy who didnt deserve it, a second chance. Because he said he saw how he messed up.. but he didnt do anything to make it better. Everything when he crawled back to me was how horrible things were going for him. I was doing way better. I shouldve seen how I was doing. But i pitied him and gave him that second chance. STAY CLOSE TO THOSE YOU CALL FAMILY, YOUR TRUE AND PROVED FAMILY. they'll be there for you any time.

4. Dont let people tell you what you should do, unless you ask for advice. No one should tell you how you should feel towards someone. Ever. You feel what you need to. Like honestly... no one should tell you that you need to go to counseling for something you DO NOT have.

Just.... people suck and now idk how to trust new people. Chances are, I'll be an open, vulnerable book again. But im gonna have to be more guarded now. Its just... hurtful to put up barriers... and now im having to reinforce everything again. And now.. hes probably coming up with a two faced lie about me.. probably calling me a bitch. So fuck him.

To him:

Yes i am angry, YOU made me this angry. And i dont have anger issues... a number of people backing me on that. You pushed a good person too far and did fucked up shit to her. So boo hoo to you for not being man enough to actually listen and be a fucking adult even being two years older than me. You should now what it means for someone like me to be done with a person. I did my fucking best to improve your life and you never gave me anything back, you put money into it by buying me food and gifts... but i put my time, my emotions, my heart and soul into you.... all for me to be left with a scarred up everything again. You hurt me twice. First time, you split my soul open and i wanted to be dead after what you did to me. Darkness poured into me like a fucking hurricane. I had to get my shit together with barely anyone to hold into but my TRUE FAMILY. And i did it. I let you back because i pitied you.... and i just wanted to help. And all i was to you was a cute body to toy with, someone who loved you more than a friend. So FUCK YOU. All those promises and dreams were a LIE.

I TRUSTED YOU

I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAKING POINTS TO GET A FUCKING LIFE OF YOUR OWN

But nope

I was wrong.

So here i am again..singing the same damn songs.

[cat-hooman-blog]

Hey

Every negative you think of, find a positive. It all has to balance out. Even if it's just seeing one thing that makes you smile once in the whole day, thats what you should focus on. At the end of the day feel everything but end it on a positive note; remember that kid's smile when they got their ice cream or that girl on the phone who laughed "a little too loud" or seeing that couple be cutesy or when you looked in the mirror and thought "damn, I look good today" whatever it is, hold on to it.

Things will get better, promise

[cat-hooman-blog]

THE FASHION POLICE WON

[cat-hooman-blog]

[cat-hooman-blog]

Me

I thrive on coke, Powerade, cookie dough, and lifesaver gummies.

*questions my choices and health (Lack of, therefore)*

EH I'M FINE

*Chugs 3 cans of coke, eats 3 cookie dough balls, eats half a pound of lifesaver gummies*

I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER

[cat-hooman-blog]

Matches

You can strike match after match, lighting each one up, but after a short time they all get put out. You think you don't need them anymore but over time, all the old matches are what you've got after all the new ones have been used up. One new match can be enough to get all the old matches burning. And without the old matches, you wouldn't be warm enough. And after enough times of striking them then tossing them to the side, when you do run out, that last match can burn all the old ones away and use them to give off even more heat and light. Sometimes that last match can be one that you misplaced or lost over time or sriked and the flame didnt catch at that time, and that one can be your saving grace when you need it most.

[cat-hooman-blog]

[cat-hooman-blog]

My friend told me to look up cute snakes in hats and I’m not disappointed

LOOK AT ITS LIL TOP HAT SO SMOL

THIS ONE HAS A FLOWERCROWN

LOOK AT IT GO

SLEEPY REINDEER 

SMOL BEANIE

[cat-hooman-blog]

Need this rn lol

I will be okay

[cat-hooman-blog]

“I’m learning to love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me.”