catboycruncher - Tumblr blog

[catboycruncher]

This meeting could've been an 11-minute prog rock track 🙄

[catboycruncher]

i was compelled.

[catboycruncher]

just saw a furry go "ugh pup masks are the worst thing to happen to the furry community" and it's like what are you talking about those are your cousins, at the end of the day you're both pretending to be gay dog men, i think it's just an aesthetic choice at that point

[catboycruncher]

[catboycruncher]

i can fit two small mandarin oranges in my mouth at once as long as they're the size of two small mandarin oranges

[catboycruncher]

殺し屋1 Ichi the Killer (summarised)

[catboycruncher]

New procedure

[catboycruncher]

[catboycruncher]

loudly going "YOU'RE GOOD YOU'RE GOOD" to myself to ward off the memory of every embarrassing thing i've ever done

[catboycruncher]

happy birthday miku congrats for taking over the world u will always be famous..

[catboycruncher]

[catboycruncher]

at the shabbat dinner we had tonight an adult informed us how much honey a single bee makes in its lifetime and a six year old replied "if I was a bee I could make more." wishing that level of confidence on you. gut shabbes

[catboycruncher]

gravity falls is so funny through robbie's pov

>be me, 15 year old emo in a bumfucknowhere town

>lives in a funeral home. my parents embalm bodies twenty feet and an entire wall away from where we cook dinner

>have a friend i want to be my girlfriend

>she starts hanging out with her boss' (???) twin niece and nephew outside of work hours even though they're like in elementary school

>friend becomes your girlfriend

>weird shit happens around these twins. conscience store ghosts, a weirdly pixelated adult man beating you up, your dirt bike gets stolen, your girlfriend's boss and his nephew make your gf break up with you???

>gets memories erased at some point

>suddenly in love with only other female friend, like instantly in love and it's like this came out of nowhere but she's so perfect and you loooooove her it's so great don't question why there's a part of you that doesn't remember ever actually falling in love with her. also those fucking twins had something to do with this again.

>apocalypse happens

>mfw im apparently part of a secret key of people that can save the world by holding hands but it gets fucked up last minute by your ex's boss fighting with his twin over grammar (did he always have a twin?? why are there so many twins??)

>the ritual you were a part of failed. you were supposed to be a special person and part of saving the world but nope. that failed.

>get turned into a statue

>apocalypse ends and you have no clue how or why

>things like immediately go back to normal

>still with girl you don't remember falling in love with

>the twins just fucking. leave the town. and now there's two of your ex girlfriend's bosses around. no one ever explains how or why any of this has happened. you still live in a funeral home.

[catboycruncher]

always sad how much chinese food has to advertise itself as no msg because of basically a racist misinformation campaign. bring back the msg i unironically want it. i want it to taste good. i would go to a place that proudly advertised its use of msg no fucking problem

[catboycruncher]

I know what you're all definitely thinking. What if everyone from Gravity Falls was a chair. Well, I was bored enough at 3am to think about that too

[catboycruncher]

the “she” incident.

[catboycruncher]

He's trying okay.