catboycyrus

[catboycyrus]

worst fear is that i write something from the heart and it gets mocked as #tumblrprose . second worst fear is big big big big ant colony conspiring to kill me to death

[catboycyrus]

i do think there's an inherent comedy to being named after a more obscure president. when i was in middle school i was good friends with a kid in my class named zachary taylor and everybody called him "el presidente" and me and another kid would pretend to be his secret service agents despite the fact that absolutely none of us could tell you a single factoid about the real historical zachary taylor

[catboycyrus]

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

[catboycyrus]

Shawn Braley Illustration

[catboycyrus]

In what world would this be anything other than impressive

[catboycyrus]

I dueled a wasp with my katana for 45 minutes and i lost

[catboycyrus]

if you’re someone who has to wear glasses every day that makes them basically the most important item you own which means you really gotta show those fuckers who’s boss just toss them everywhere and knock them off things and roll over them in bed at least twice a week

[catboycyrus]

hate when I'm trying to just take a normal drink but it turns out I'm thirstier than I thought so I end up gulping it down like a goddamn cartoon characer. the indignity of water lust.

[catboycyrus]

The friends that are chronically 30 minutes late are so important to have because they teach u patience and the meaning of loving someone so much u let ur anger go. I have not mastered either yet but I’m sure it’s coming

[catboycyrus]

[catboycyrus]

seeing a black and white cow is always so damn awesome it’s like Hey i know that guy.from my kindergarten abcs

[catboycyrus]

[catboycyrus]

[catboycyrus]

Armin Shimerman (Quark), Avery Brooks (Director). “Body Parts” (4x25)