catemckenna-blog

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Life is short. And it doesn’t matter how good your grades are—or how many hours you put in at the soup kitchen... You’re not safe. Bad things happen. Things you can’t control. Things that have nothing to do with you, and they will destroy you if you let them. Or you can try to learn from them, so that next time, you’ll be prepared. So that—even if you never feel safe again—you can do your best to make sure that what happened to you never happens to anyone else. And if you’re very lucky… You won’t have to do it alone.

Kate Bishop, Young Avengers Special

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You first.

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thelunamorales:

Ever since they met, Luna had looked up to Cate. From the first moment when she saw her and Newt spar, saw the strength and skill that the older girl possessed. She was a lot more than just a friend or just a mentor. She was a role model, one of the few female ones Luna could remember herself having. Growing up she had been surrounded by males. Learnt their ways, adapted their speech, their mannerisms and attitude. Ninety percent of the time she was more of a boy than she would perhaps ever be a girl. But it was women like Cate that didn’t make her regret being born a girl instead of a boy. That reinforced the belief that women were just as strong, just as capable, just as fierce and determined and independent. That it was okay for her to strive to be all those things. “See I knew you would understand it.” Luna found a small smile. Strained, difficult to keep, but genuine. No matter how this all ended, one thing that never seemed to change was Cate’s ability to empathize. Luna admired her for that too.. 

It baffled her sometimes, and she was perhaps twice as grateful for how Cate managed to empathize and see things from her perspective, because she herself struggled a great deal to do the same. She liked to think that she was learning, growing, evolving.. but in the end the horrible truth was that at her core Luna’s independence and survivor strength inhabited her from truly being able to do the same with others. Strangers at least. With her friends, with those she loved, she did make an effort. 

“Ten whole days? Oh fuck. I’d go bat shit crazy..” she confessed, a grimace on her face. She was making a point of ignoring the nurses, as well as she possibly could. Pretending she and Cate were the only two people in the room. Instinctively, Luna too leaned in closer as Cate spoke in a whisper. “Bet it is.. have you had any updates? I haven’t heard shit.. I’m sure Nik understands though..” 

When she had first joined the Strix all those years ago, it had not been in an effort to make friends, or to find family—it had solely been an attempt to take back some measure of control over her life, to feel even the slightest bit powerful in the face of everything that had ever tried to hurt her. She had certainly not set out to become a mentor of sorts to the trainees, and especially to those younger than her, who came into the gang around the same time or after she did. But what the brunette had found in the organisation that she had pledged her allegiance to wasn’t a place that changed who she was. It was a place that reminded her of who she had always been. Someone who was clever, capable and compassionate, and who would always put her faith in people, not in the institutions they belonged to.

It wasn’t being a part of the Strix that made her loyal to Luna, to Seraphina, to Newt and Nik and Devlin, and everyone else in the gang. It was the fact that she cared about them as people. And she would always try to understand them as individuals, empathise with them as individuals, and ultimately, act in their best interest as individuals. It was an attitude that might one day put her at odds with her leaders, and she knew that; but in a world that constantly put her in the grey zone of her own morality, it was the only thing that she could think to do. The brunette simply couldn’t live a life in which she wasn’t serving her own conscience.

Dropping her gaze to her phone, she scanned through her incoming messages, unnerved by the helpless feeling that came from not simply being able to go out there and find the facts by putting herself in the middle of the mess, like she would usually do. “We were hit pretty hard,” Cate whispered back, shaking her head. “Reagan’s in the hospital too. Not to mention the countless civilians who became collateral damage to an attack that I’m ninety percent sure was directed at us. That’s… That’s crossing a line, Luna. A line that should never be crossed.”

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philippexlinwood:

Following Cate inside the room, Philippe quietly shut the door behind them, wary so as to not wake their sleeping patient. Honestly, his motive for visiting Tyree may have been altered a wee bit, thanks to Cate’s added presence. It was hard to feel entirely sympathetic now that he had found quite a ‘target’ of sorts. This was the very reason why he usually came off as an ass towards people he could see through him, really.

A quick mutter of thanks, and he took the empty seat beside her, reveling in the nearness he got towards her. It was all sorts of wrong in his head, but right now, it did not matter. He might as well as have some fun. 

Turning to her, he let out a lightly amused chuckle at her confession, before pulling out that intense gaze he loved to sport whenever he was in the mood to charm and bewitch others. “Don’t worry.” He leaned in towards her side, just enough so she could feel and see his expression. “I’m right here with you.”

While Cate was certainly no damsel in distress (and in fact detested situations that implied that she was), she was no stranger to fabricating the illusion; after all, people with a natural proclivity toward chivalry didn’t need much encouragement to bring out the heroics. Of course, not all men found the prospect of acting the role of saviour appealing, but a quick judgement of the one beside her told the brunette that he probably did.

Turning away from the medical equipment, brown eyes found his and intentionally held his gaze, slightly bowled over by the sheer intensity but determined to stay her course all the same. And perhaps she was playing with fire—men like Philippe Linwood had always been an unfortunate chink in Cate’s armour—but on the other hand, she felt confident enough in the source of her motivation that she believed very little could sway her from her end goal. Not even looks like that. “Thank you,” she replied with a guileless smile, crossing her legs so that her body was turned toward him, the hem of her dress riding up ever so slightly from the movement. “I have to admit, I feel a lot more comfortable already.”

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@welcometohollywood

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philippexlinwood:

When Cate invited him to go in with her rather than spend it alone with Tyree, the man felt rather welcomed. There was no doubt about Cate’s and Tyree’s relationship possibly being closer than his and Ty’s, so for her to invite him in still meant that she was alright with having a ‘stranger’ come in on their time together. However, there was still a question in his mind as to how Tyree will perceive him and Cate visiting him at the same time, but for now, he saw it best to push that thought at the back of his mind. 

“Er, I guess?” He replied at her cliched phrase, calming down at the sight of her pearly whites. As she moved to allow him in first, he saw the notable mistake in the act. “No, please,” stepping aside more so, as he held the door open with his palm with more force to take over hers, whilst he used his free hand to gesture towards the room, “…ladies first.” Ever so gallantly, Philippe made sure that his manners were not for nothing. 

At first, Cate found herself caught off guard by the gesture, the somewhat surprised look on her face a touch more genuine than she was strictly comfortable with. Of course, chivalry was a concept that she had been raised to expect from others and was therefore quite familiar with, but it was rare that she encountered it in her day-to-day life these days; having almost made it a point to always exude the kind of stubbornly independent attitude that said ‘thank you, nice gentleman with slightly archaic values, but I’m not your damsel in distress’. However, a quick cost/benefit analysis of the situation told her that this was neither the time nor the place to go off on such a tirade. “Thank you,” she replied with a smile, letting go of the door and stepping into the room.

She would probably never get used to the sight of hospital equipment surrounding her childhood friend, nor would she ever find a way to be comfortable with hospitals in general; but having something to focus on, a strategy to concoct. was making the experience infinitely less stressful to her. Taking a seat, Cate glanced toward her company with a warm expression, pulling up the nearest chair and gesturing for him to take it. “I’ll be honest with you,” she started, glancing somewhat warily at the beeping machines around the bed. “I might have slightly ulterior motives for wanting company in here. Hospitals make me... Uncomfortable.”

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CAITLYN MCKENNA || August 3, 1991 You’re not the hero of this story. I am.

“I am telling you now: I might be young, but I am good. I work hard, and I'm a good person. I know what's right. I know what's wrong. And if you give me this chance -- if you just give me one shot to show you how good I can be, how hard I work, how much I believe in doing the right thing -- I won't let you down. I promise.”

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devlinxtaylor:

Long before he had been a leader in the traditional sense, Devlin had been chipping in mainly with the interrogators. After all his close quarter training with the military, and the acts that he had been asked to do, learned how to best preform, he had found t the most sensible. The art of reading people was one that was essential to that work. You had to look at a person and read body language, the smallest of things, not just hear what they were saying or in which manner they were speaking. Most people weren’t big enigmas or puzzles to him. Their reactions and expressions were easy to read. The longer he knew them, the easier it was to recognize and asses their behavior. His instincts, his gut was telling him that there was something going on with Cate. Of course, he couldn’t say so without much concrete to base that feeling or his intuition. Instead he had to take it slowly, make sure she knew that there was nothing she couldn’t tell him, that he wouldn’t judge. While Dev had pretty clear ideas of who were his family by blood and who were his family by heart, Cate was like the sweet cousin you were fond of, who could be the best to talk to, who could bring you clarity and perspectives that few others offered, but still be someone you trusted to ask for advice. Their relationship had been and would probably always be a bit intricate. Though Devlin knew that he could always rely on Cate. He just hoped she knew it went both ways. When you were someone’s boss and friend, they sometimes tended to forget, or it was hard to separate the roles.

He calmly cocked an eyebrow, not rushing or attacking in any way, simply giving her the time to explain where her head had been at and how her situation looked like at the moment. Some members had more going on outside their commitment to the gang than others. Cate had always been fierce in her commitment, but he also knew she had a job apart from the work they did here. She had a social network that not every young adult in this enterprise had. “I get that. This can all get very intense sometimes. Does it help? Hanging out with them? I always found that normal is such a hard concept to reach. I guess my marriage has and should give me some of that.” Devlin smiled a bit at that, shrugging his shoulders. Normalcy was a luxury he didn’t think he would have much of. But he did respect his members trying for some. They were humans, there were always going to be a way of mainstream life that they would wish for or aspire to. “Well quality is often tied to quantity. You’re one of the best and brightest we have, you know? Without you we’re short of a brilliant mind. Compared to Nik you bring a lot more compassion and fairness to the table. But you would let me know if you’d need more personal time right? If its too much or you’re in need of a break..”  He kept her gaze, staring steadily back into those brown hues.

Cate did her best to stand her ground, steely eyes staring back into the blue hues of her leader, of her friend. She knew that it was a bold move, a risky move, practically lying to Devlin while looking him straight in the eyes; but it was a far superior strategy to simply averting her gaze at his many questions, a move which would have been so out of character for her that it would immediately appear suspicious. One would assume that someone who lied as easily, as effortlessly and as frequently as the brunette did would be able to breeze through any confrontation without a second thought, but such was not the case. Even if she could technically argue that she wasn’t really lying. Even if she told herself that what she was doing was simply refraining from telling the whole truth. It was still deceptive, and there was still a part of Cate that could barely handle the guilt of deceiving him, a man who had only ever shown her kindness, and respect, and above all, trust. A part of her that hated herself for not being able to put the same faith in his ability to understand and forgive her failures that he had clearly put in her ability to rise above them.

Because that was what it came down to in the end. Cate didn’t want Devlin to know what was going on with her, no more than she wanted Nik to know what was going on with her, because she could not stand the thought of letting either of them down. It was bad enough that in giving up, in admitting defeat against the many and varied demons that she had carried with her for as long as she could remember, the brunette had already let herself down. “Of course,” Cate chirped back, a more convincing smile playing on her lips as if to spite the the tiny voice in her head fighting a losing battle against the rest, the one that was well aware of the fact that she didn’t need more personal time, or a break. What she needed was help. Even if it was the last thing on the planet that she wanted. You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved. “And likewise, I want you to let me know if you’re unhappy with my performance,” she added, adjusting the files in the arms. “I know that I’ve been focusing a lot on the life part of the work-life balance equation lately, but if it ever becomes a problem, that’s something I need to address. At the end of the day, I know what my priorities are. And I hope you know that I’ll always act accordingly.”

Due for a check up / Dev&Cate

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hqnatalia:

“Ah yes, the bomb.” The look on Natalia’s face was almost impenetrable, with just a hint of worry showing in the creases of her eyes. “How’s the recovery going? I’m guessing alcohol is not one of the prescribed medications.” When Natalia had gotten to London, two years ago, which now felt like an eternity, making connections and putting down roots was the last thing she wanted. Now, she had a job, plenty of inspiration for her art, and most surprisingly friends, like Cate, who she cared about, and worried about. It had entangled her more than ever into the underbelly of London, but she still tried to keep her distance from it all. The bomb had just been a reminder that she couldn’t just close her eyes and pretend nothing was happening. “You know, I could do with warmer weather, but I’ve just been so busy lately, and I don’t think that’s going to go away.”

“It probably isn’t,” Cate replied somewhat flippantly, all the while having another sizeable sip of the bourbon. “But recovery’s going well, I’ve been good, and I deserve a reward for my effort. It’s not like I’m planning on getting trashed.” In general, in spite of taking a seemingly cavalier approach toward everything from her injury, to her emergency surgery, to the ten days that she had spent in the hospital before being discharged, the brunette knew enough about medicine (thank you, Dad) that no matter how badly she wanted to say screw it, she wasn’t about to mess with her recovery. That wasn’t to say that she wasn’t horribly tempted, though. “Maybe we can’t do Spain, but when I’m all healed up,” Cate continued, smiling a little deviously, “we should definitely go out. Paint the town red like the good ol’ days.”

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badass female character aesthetics: amy dunne, gone girl

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catemckenna:

the basics:

name: caitlyn eilidh mckenna age: 25 (26 in literally 3 days) zodiac sign: leo one good trait: determined one bad trait: deceptive

habits:

one bad habit: drinking, smoking, ‘recreational’ drug use, sleeping with the wrong people (they’re all technically one bad habit labelled under ‘overindulgent addict’) one good habit: eh, regular exercise? that’s a good habit, right? one habit they can’t break: drinking, smoking, ‘recreational’ drug use, sleeping with the wrong people... sense a pattern here? one they’ve broken: surrounding herself with people who are physically abusive. it’s been a while since she did that, at least. what they’re afraid of: violence, ironically. failure. emotions in general.

family:

their parents names: callum mackintosh and lillian mackintosh (née mckinnon) their siblings names: n/a favourite childhood memory: her first kiss with graham, maybe. or the night that she watched the sunrise from arthur’s seat with her friends. (actually, it’s probably this one time when her and ty ( @tyxcoburn​ ) were sitting on their rooftop, and she remembers looking at him and genuinely believing that because they had each other, everything would be all right.) favourite childhood toy: her teddy bear embarrassing story: when she was fifteen, her boyfriend told the entire school about her losing her virginity to him. apparently they had nothing better to talk about for a solid week than how their resident ‘good girl’ was in bed. it was mortifying. favourite family member: rose, her maternal aunt. she was the one who taught cate how to sing, how to hold her liquor, how to flirt with boys, and the importance of staying true to yourself no matter what other people want you to be. a story about that family member: for cate’s sixteenth birthday, her aunt rose got her out of school for a few days and flew them both to milan for a long weekend. which was a huge deal, seeing that while cate’s family was rich, her aunt (who was the black sheep on her mother’s side of the family) certainly was not. as it turned out, her parents had not been consulted about this impromptu holiday and consequently reamed both of them out upon their return. it was totally worth it, though.

what they prefer:

coffee or tea? coffee, is that even a question? showering in the day or night? whenever shower sex is a possibility, really taking baths or taking showers? taking showers, she’s too impatient for baths tv or movies? movies, especially the classics writing or reading? reading platonic or romantic love? love is love. in her experience, there are an infinite amount of shades between strictly platonic and strictly romantic, and to pit them against each other as if they’re opposites is a pointless comparison. iced tea or lemonade? iced tea ice cream or smoothies? ice cream cupcakes or cake? cupcakes beach or mountains? mountains

favourites:

song: fly me to the moon by frank sinatra band: the smiths outfit: a man’s shirt (preferably designer) + belt + boots place: arthur’s seat memory: her first dinner with joseph ( @josephxarmitage​ ). he was awkward and she was nervous because she had a huge, huge crush on him, but it was the first time in a while that she’d felt that comfortable with another person. person: at the moment? jackie ( @welcometohollywood​ ), probably movie: the breakfast club show: dancing with the stars, because trash tv is the best

☾ cute character questions ☽

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philippexlinwood:

Perhaps for Cate, it would have only saved for a hospital stay. For Philippe, it would have saved him an unbelievable amount of guilt that was weighing him down, crippling the confidence he used to radiate around the clock with. Truly, how he wished he could turn back time on that particular moment.

“Yes, right.” With a meager smile, he nodded his head in a show. But it wasn’t right, really, because Cate did not understand what he meant by it, by how he was feeling when he said it, and from where he was coming from. Nevertheless, he agreed with her, despite the contrary.

In a bid to change the subject at hand, he shifted his attention to the door, glancing through the glass window to look at a sleeping Tyree. Visiting the lad was never going to get easier, but maybe it would be less of a torturous activity for him if he had someone like Cate to act as a buffer. With a heavy heart, he put a hand on the door, pausing to turn to Cate. “Shall we go in and check on him? I don’t think he’d mind having more than one visitor anyway.” When he offered this to her, he decided on giving her another option to take, if ever she were far from comfortable with his mere acquaintance presence. “But if you really want to see him on your own, I’d understand. I can come back when you’re done.”

Watching his shifting expressions, Cate found herself a little unsure about their origins---if the discomfort that subtly shone through came solely from knowing how horribly wrong the whole bomb had gone for the Royals themselves, or if the guilt extended to damages wrought upon other people as well. It seemed that everybody had a dose of it these days. Seraphina felt guilty for not infiltrating the Royals fast enough to stop it. Bailey felt guilty for not disarming the device when he had the chance. And Cate herself, well... It had certainly occurred to her multiple times that Ty might not have be in the hospital if a certain someone hadn’t been busy literally carrying her out of the building as opposed to clearing out his so called fellow gang members.

Following Philippe’s gaze, the brunette felt the vice-like grip on her heart tighten as she glanced through the glass at her friend, already feeling more emotional than she was strictly comfortable with. And she hated that. She hated not being in control. Hated not knowing what to do or how to feel. “Uhm,” she started, genuinely unsure which option sounded most appealing to her. On one hand, inviting anyone into what her and Ty shared still felt a little strange, a little intrusive; not because Cate didn’t want to know the other people in his life, but because she simply had no idea how to act around them when it had always been just the two of them.

On the other hand, she really wanted Philippe to be there, if only for the trust that such a gesture implied. “No, it’s fine,” she concluded, nodding to punctuate her point. “Let’s go in together. The more the merrier, right?” Flashing him a small smile, the brunette put her own hand on the door and pushed it open, stepping aside to allow him to pass through.

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@bulletsnbouquets

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