catgirltaint - Tumblr blog

[catgirltaint]

[catgirltaint]

[catgirltaint]

Stop using the word degenerate to mean horny challenge

[catgirltaint]

ahaha nooo don’t moan while you’re sucking my dick i’m gonna knock you up

[catgirltaint]

It's stupid how food affects your mood. What do you mean im angry cuz I'm hungry? What do you mean eating one of my favorite restaurants will make me feel better? Fuck off.

[catgirltaint]

Taylor swift has fallen down into a scary hole

[catgirltaint]

do you think the trolls ever try to think up valid human  names?

[catgirltaint]

[catgirltaint]

no. Yourew not allowed to enjoy d&d. ifg you are out there and enojying a game of 5e my elite squad of pbta warriors will crash in yhtough yourt windows and get a mixed success on their roll, allowing them to flawlessly handcuff and arrest you but at the cost of describing to the GM one dream they will never achieve,

[catgirltaint]

Political compass that I once saw years ago and never again but which was seared into my brain. I've done my best to faithfully recreate it here from memory.

[catgirltaint]

all these retro style games that are like "NO tutorials NO handholding" apparently forgot about the little books that used to come with your game that detailed all the mechanics, controls, special moves, lore, maps, collectables, means of unlocking additional content, character bios, etc

[catgirltaint]

TIL in 1896 a temporary, one-day city was named in Texas called Crush, where two locomotives were to be smashed head-on for purposes of spectacle. It was, for a few hours, the 2nd largest city in TX with 40k attendees. The collision caused engine boilers to explode, resulting in death and injuries.

via reddit.com

[catgirltaint]

*preparing to go outside* i'm normal. i know how to cross the street. i avoid eye contact in an organic non weird way, as if i simply do not notice fellow pedestrians.

[catgirltaint]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[catgirltaint]

what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while! 🙂" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

[catgirltaint]

Effeminate dentist: You need to brush more on your gums-- hold on why am I "effeminate?" What? I'm literally just a normal dentist. A masculine one, even.

Me: (struggling to speak through the dentist's fingers) youw weren't shupposhed to shee that