catherineadunphy

[catherineadunphy]

Mango 🥭 salsa!!! #feedme #covidcooking #hungry #yummy https://www.instagram.com/p/B-r7dOpH1w4/?igshid=kv5182fdije

[catherineadunphy]

One more thing….

Late summer I was diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis- an autoimmune disease most likely caused by my treatment for another autoimmune disease (RA).

Needless to say this new diagnosis has taken some getting use too, actually it has upended my life.

It’s hard not feeling smothered by the avalanche of autoimmune diagnoses.

In many ways It feels like they have hijacked my life. I’m constantly bombarded by pain and symptoms. But yet I want to move forward so I keep attempting to manage, medicate - to be as well as I can be.

So much of having a chronic illness, is the inertia that grabs hold of your life and stops progress. You are left to just be in that moment- aware of the tediousness of holding out for relief. Relief in the form of drugs, or the abyss of sleep that you hope is restorative.

Mostly it’s an excercise in acceptance. I’m not giving up.

But, I know I can’t stop this train track my immune system is blazing down.

I try to appease myself by managing what I eat, how much I eat, when I sleep, for how long. How much I stand, if I can walk with minimum pain. I think constantly of these little things that most people don’t have to bother thinking about - and it is exhausting.

In all of this suffering, do I cry out in the wilderness asking god why I have been forsake?

Nope. There is no god that can heal me, no faith that can transform bone deformed by inflammation. No saint that can restore me to health.

Giving up the god of my childhood meant giving up an intangible secret meaning imprinted in all my suffereing.

Now I am confronted by my acceptance that my sufferering has no meaning. I am not a beacon of hope for others. I’m not closer to Jesus because I understand suffering. My pain does not purify me. I cannot and will not offer it up.

It just is.

I like to think of my pain-experience as not dissimilar to the way the moon is scarred by the impact of asteroids colliding with its orbit.

Both events are indeterminate, void of intent. They happened, and will continue to happen. There is no stopping it.

I must accept that this is nothing personal. Just a statistical anomaly. And I’m an ordinary person, living a chronic reality.

Next step, #tomorrow.

[catherineadunphy]

One more thing....

Late summer I was diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis- an autoimmune disease most likely caused by my treatment for another autoimmune disease (RA).

Needless to say this new diagnosis has taken some getting use too, actually it has upended my life.

It’s hard not feeling smothered by the avalanche of autoimmune diagnoses.

In many ways It feels like they have hijacked my life. I’m constantly bombarded by pain and symptoms. But yet I want to move forward so I keep attempting to manage, medicate - to be as well as I can be.

So much of having a chronic illness, is the inertia that grabs hold of your life and stops progress. You are left to just be in that moment- aware of the tediousness of holding out for relief. Relief in the form of drugs, or the abyss of sleep that you hope is restorative.

Mostly it’s an excercise in acceptance. I’m not giving up.

But, I know I can’t stop this train track my immune system is blazing down.

I try to appease myself by managing what I eat, how much I eat, when I sleep, for how long. How much I stand, if I can walk with minimum pain. I think constantly of these little things that most people don’t have to bother thinking about - and it is exhausting.

In all of this suffering, do I cry out in the wilderness asking god why I have been forsake?

Nope. There is no god that can heal me, no faith that can transform bone deformed by inflammation. No saint that can restore me to health.

Giving up the god of my childhood meant giving up an intangible secret meaning imprinted in all my suffereing.

Now I am confronted by my acceptance that my sufferering has no meaning. I am not a beacon of hope for others. I’m not closer to Jesus because I understand suffering. My pain does not purify me. I cannot and will not offer it up.

It just is.

I like to think of my pain-experience as not dissimilar to the way the moon is scarred by the impact of asteroids colliding with its orbit.

Both events are indeterminate, void of intent. They happened, and will continue to happen. There is no stopping it.

I must accept that this is nothing personal. Just a statistical anomaly. And I’m an ordinary person, living a chronic reality.

Next step, #tomorrow.

[catherineadunphy]

Be a voice, not an echo.

Albert Einstein (via fyp-science)

[catherineadunphy]

The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.

Neil deGrasse Tyson (via fyp-science)

[catherineadunphy]

Listen to the audio version of Frum’s cover story here: https://soundcloud.com/user-154380542/how-to-build-an-autocracy-david-frum-the-atlantic-march-2017

[catherineadunphy]

So I was talking to a Muslim guy I know

Who was born and raised in the U.K., about consent, or rather the lack of it in Islam.

I asked him why his God think that a man is entitled to his wife’s body, even when she is unwilling.

His actual response was “consent was made up by the Jews to make Islam look bad.” Followed up by the classic “no rape in marriage”, because apparently that’s what you sign up for when you get married.

Feminists, if you want something valid to be outraged about, HERE IT IS.

[catherineadunphy]

Reblog if you’re pro ex-Muslims

[catherineadunphy]

This happened. 

[catherineadunphy]

[catherineadunphy]

I want the world to be a better place. Not for some altruistic reason, but for a selfish one. I hate to see people manufacture pain. It's the most useless product we humans have ever created

Catherine Dunphy

[catherineadunphy]

“We are the granddaughters of the witches you weren’t able to burn” is a great quote, but I am one of the witches they burned who came back even stronger to burn them

[catherineadunphy]

thought of the moment

mental clarity alludes me - mired in pain each passing day a cyclical experience of recycled agony

[catherineadunphy]

How can you rate your pain on a scale from 0 to 10 if you don't remember what a zero feels like?

[catherineadunphy]

Shit Abled People Say#240

Old Lady: “Aren’t you a bit young to need a cane?”

Me: “Aren’t you a bit old to have such terrible manners?”

[catherineadunphy]

[catherineadunphy]

What is juvenile arthrits?

Juvenile arthrits is so much more than just pain.

It’s crying because you feel like a prisoner in your own body.

It’s locking yourself up inside your room because you feel like no one cares.

It’s constantly thinking about giving up on yourself.

It’s telling yourself you’re fine even while the tears are trailing down your cheeks.

It’s constantly answering the same question with the same lie.

It’s crying after being told how it isn’t the end of the world, and how much of a weakling you are.

It’s crying yourself to sleep because you just want to know why you had to have this, why you can’t be better, and why you can’t feel like a teenager.

But hey, at least it’s not cancer.