catobsessedphilosopher

[catobsessedphilosopher]

[catobsessedphilosopher]

[catobsessedphilosopher]

they lassoed the moon, did you hear? yeah they brought it down last night and she got so close the water that the tides shot into the supermarkets

yeah my grandma had to pick out her radishes from waist-high ocean she said that the pasta was too close the ground so it was all floating

they're holding the moon halfway now so it's really beautifully bright you can see all the rich men running up and down the tether wearing bandanas to raise money for some charity they started

yeah no i think they're going to keep it there haha, yeah like as a resort somebody said something on the news about turning her face green with little chopped golf grass how about that; we will have a different moon in our memory than in the future , imagine asking were you born before the moon was green haha

last night yeah if you went outside to watch the balloon of her astral body bobbing in our atmosphere all that white particulate coming down like plaster drifting snow in moonrocks over our upturned cheeks

the moon, chafing, unable to rest in peace

[catobsessedphilosopher]

Adderall should be added to water like fluoride is

[catobsessedphilosopher]

“I hope one day we can forgive each other for not being what we wanted each other to be”

— Kriti G.

[catobsessedphilosopher]

you could never stomach gore, though, could you? so what exactly is this, that you're doing to yourself? what would you call that? you flinch at the sight of spilled red wine - but here, in this place, you call a sharpness the divine.

[catobsessedphilosopher]

owning a dog is the casual reminder that we are the same humans as the millennia before. how many generations of each of our species have simply chosen this partnership, over and over. he looks up at me and i know something my ancestors also knew: we were not built to be on this planet alone.

[catobsessedphilosopher]

you know because you think about your hands in her hair and the red of her laughter and how her smile leans to the left. you think about how she would collapse under you, gentle, your hands around her wrist. you think about the summer's promise and the arch of her neck; the soft space of her stomach, the curve of her rib. how you could trace her jawline for hours and never be sated.

to take and to shiver beneath. to desire like a hemlock; full of sunlight and need.

[catobsessedphilosopher]

I wish they had made Breaking Bad earlier so it would have had a PS2 game

[catobsessedphilosopher]

i don't wanna love myself like "buy this feel good". i wanna love myself like i made a sandwich for later because i knew i'd be too busy. i wanna love myself like hang on take a breath do you actually like this. i wanna love myself like okay we're gonna set a reminder to get up and brush our teeth. i wanna love myself like - it's okay to say no, it's okay to take that nap, it's okay to go home.

i don't wanna feel sexy like tv. i don't wanna feel sexy like little black dress. i wanna feel sexy like high note during karaoke. like just got done writing 14 pages of poetry. like let me show you this scarf i've been knitting. i wanna feel sexy like hand on the back of the headrest while you parallel park. like did i tell you about that time i saved a baby bird. like don't tell her but i've been sneaking money into her purse.

i don't wanna feel pretty like expensive. like high fashion. like paid to be here. i wanna feel pretty like a bird in a puddle. i wanna feel pretty like streak of dyed hair. i wanna feel pretty like calligraphy, like new leaves, like a skinned knee bleed, like a dog running at full speed. i wanna feel pretty like lying next to you. i wanna feel pretty like the new album just dropped, i wanna feel pretty like a shower, i wanna feel pretty like a stone wall all covered in moss.

i keep saying body neutrality. that feels negative - no bad things, no good things, just body. but i mean - my body is neutral like a flower is neutral like an oil slick is neutral like a day is neutral, too. my body is neutral so a kiss can feel like lightning so a dance can feel like a hula hoop so a walk to get coffee can feel like - god, i'm so happy to just be around you.

my body is a site. not the source of the joy, just where i can find it. i don't wanna love like - finally got my body tight/forced myself through a diet/whatever trend is the current hype. i wanna love myself like - i go to this river and i find gold every time i shift around inside it. i wanna love myself like - i feel sexy because it's sexy to be alive, and laughing. i wanna love myself like - bitch, i could have died, and i didn't, and if that isn't the prettiest almost in the whole world, than i don't know what is.

[catobsessedphilosopher]

I'm up thinking about you. It's long after the birds went to sleep. Something is so sweet and stolen about this hour. The feathersoft memory of you.

[catobsessedphilosopher]

good news, i love you anyway. all the little mess and fuss of you. all the freckles and the stray hairs and uneven smile. i love your laugh and your sigh and the way you sing along to the radio. it's all lovable. it feels so good to love you.

[catobsessedphilosopher]

i am full of questions i won't ask you. what does love feel like to you. what will you do with it. how do you carry new shapes without slipping. what makes the ghosts you keep.

my chest is full of larkspur and hyacinth. somewhere this month, spring took root. bashful, without reproach, she snuck into my hands. a starling, coasting her body over the blue.

i think the way i feel about you could set watersheds on fire. like if i throw a penny into a wishing well, i'll burn down the whole world with wanting you. the inside of my blood feels combustible.

what is love, to you? i pick a flower and call for more therapy. i say: it feels like a hunt to me. like broken teeth. like the eerie wail of something coming, hungry and knowing. like i can run all i want and it will collapse into my back in a branding. like despite all of myself, i find love again, and it finds me.

you brush my hair back behind my ear without thinking. i don't know how to hold love like a crown. i don't know how to hold love when it is unveiled, larksong, long sigh. i am used to love in a cacophony; sharp and angry.

i am used to love like squealing tires. like slam the brakes.

you reach over and squeeze my hand and i am left with - is this love? slow, like stretching? like garden party? like - oh, it's spring. and i have remembered happy.

// nosebleed prompts 2.12 // r.i.d

[catobsessedphilosopher]

Audre Lorde, from “A Litany for Survival”, The Collected Poems of Audre Lorde

[catobsessedphilosopher]

if you plug your headphones into a hole in tree you can hear tree thoughts. stuff like “birds live in my hair” “water is my favorite” “the sun is my boyfriend”

[catobsessedphilosopher]

[catobsessedphilosopher]