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awake but at what cost @importantcatpics

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got a giant and i mean GIANT fresh-squeezed strawberry lemonade at the farmer's market today. i'm talking like a full quart with a straw in it. very delicious. five dollars. nice. as i was leaving, laden with vegetables, a young man waved at me and asked where i had acquired my immense beverage. and after i pointed him toward the stall and informed him of the various prices and flavors, he looked toward the sky, basketball shorts flapping in the breeze, and bellowed to the heavens, "oh i am gonna SLUUUUUUUURP that." happy slurp that saturday everyone.

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Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

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what "no sugar added" should mean: the natural sugars of the other ingredients like fruit are the only source of sweetness in this product

what is actually means: we added a fuckton of artificial sweeteners

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consuming mass amounts of media related to my hyperfixation isnt enough i need to eat it

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ph by Brian McMillan

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JULIAN I SBLONDE

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C.C - Carrot Cat

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I hate government programs in the US bc conservatives are always trying to dismantle them so the lefty byline is always like "these programs are vital and lifesaving and keep so many people from starving and being homeless, they're Very Good and you have a moral obligation to protect and defend them!" and the program is question is something called the National Anti Hunger Initiative or NAHI and it only applies to people who have $527 or less a month in Net Perforated Index-Subnet Income (NPISI) before taxes and housing costs and the program gives you a $99 a month voucher that reloads every 1/80th waxing moon that is only good for buying specific brands of gruel BUT you only get to take 200 breaths a day when you're on the program and for every breath over 200 you take they subtract one dollar from the vouchers you receive and you have to count and report your own breaths bc they don't have the funding to do that and if you misrepresent the amount of breaths you take that's Breath Fraud and there's a hotline you can call to report someone's Breath Fraud and you can be denied gruel vouchers for the rest of your life if youre accused of Breath Fraud. And you're just like. Not allowed to complain abt this bc apparently the only alternative to this is no one ever gets gruel vouchers