causticdespondency-blog - Tumblr blog

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I PROBABLY WOULD IF IT WOULDN'T WASTE PRECIOUS MEDICAL SUPPLIES.

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AHAH WHY DID I STOP USING THIS.

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QUIETLY. GENTLY. STABS MYSELF IN THE STOMACH.

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DON'T YOU JUST LOVE BEING HUNGRY BUT ALL YOU ATE TODAY WAS SHIT AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY JUST NOT

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5.3.15

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DISGUST

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GOD I'M FUCKING DISGUSTING.

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I VERY MUCH RESENT THAT ALL OF MY ALTERNATES SEEM TO BE TOUGHER THAN ME.

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I’m a mess of person but I’m loyal and I’ll love you with everything I have.

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someone else: *makes a mistake*

me: don't worry buddy! it is not a big deal! we can fix this! we'll figure it out!!

me: *makes a mistake*

me: i am irredeemable worthless garbage and i want to die

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I KIND OF JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. MOSTLY SO I WONT FORGET. THEN AGAIN. WHY DO I WANT TO REMEMBER? WHO KNOWS. I STILL WANT TO SAY IT.

SO IT’S LIKE I WOKE UP. AND I THOUGHT I WAS ACTUALLY AWAKE. BUT I LEFT MY ROOM AND EVERYTHING WAS UNNATURALLY DARK. SOMETHING VAGUE AND FOGGY HAPPENED AND SOMETHING JUMPED AT ME. WHICH I DODGED SOMEHOW. MORE FOGGY SHIT.

NEXT THING I REMEMBER IS BEING IN SOME CREEPY ASS MANSION THING. STILL DARK AS HELL. STILL THOUGHT I WAS ACTUALLY AWAKE.

I SAW MY FRIENDS WERE SOMEWHERE IN FRONT OF ME? AND THEY WENT UP SOME STAIRS SO NATURALLY I WANTED TO FOLLOW THEM. MOSTLY TO TELL THEM TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BECAUSE HOW COULD YOU NOT FEEL LIKE THIS PLACE WAS DANGEROUS??

BUT I NEVER MANAGED TO CATCH UP TO THEM, THEY WERE ALWAYS JUST AROUND THE NEXT CORNER. BUT AT ONE POINT, I WAS CROUCHING RIGHT AT THE FEW STEPS BEFORE THE TOP OF THE STAIRCASE, AND THEY PASSED THE HALLWAY IN FRONT. BUT I COULDN'T GO TO THEM BECAUSE THE DOOR RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME THAT THEY JUST PASSED HAD SOME WHITE CLOWN MASK APPEARING OUT THE DARKNESS AND THAT CREEPY GROWING WHITE NOISE MUSIC THAT ALERTS YOU OF DANGEROUS SHIT IN GAMES AND MOVIES HAD STARTED PLAYING. SO I TURNED OFF THE LIGHT I HAD AND STEPPED BACK DOWN THE STAIRS A BIT. IT STOPPED, THE MASK RECEDED INTO THE DARK VOID OF WHATEVER THAT ROOM WAS.

BY THEN I JUST DECIDED TO ABIDE BY TYPICAL HORROR GAME RULES AND ASSUME THAT THE DANGER HAD PASSED AND THAT I SHOULD EXPECT IT ELSEWHERE. AND I WAS RIGHT, I ALMOST MANAGED TO FOLLOW THEM. BUT THE MASK CAME OUT OF ANOTHER DOOR AND WAS JUST STARING AT ME. SO I HAD TO GO DOWNSTAIRS AGAIN, BUT THEN IT WAS AT YET ANOTHER FUCKING DOOR. 

EVENTUALLY I ENDED UP BARRICADING MYSELF INTO A WEIRD ROOM THAT WAS LIKE A SQUARE EXCEPT ONE CORNER WAS MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF WINDOWS AND ONE CORNER WAS FLAT. SO IT HAD FIVE STRAIGHT SIDES. AND THE DOOR. FOR SOME REASON WAS ALSO GLASS?? WITH A THIN CURTAIN IN FRONT OF IT.

SO I STARED OUT THE CORNER WITH THE GIANT WINDOW WALLS INTO SOME DARK COURTYARD. NOTHING PARTICULARLY INTERESTING DOWN THERE. EXCEPT, IN THE REFLECTION OF THE WINDOW THE THIN CURTAIN WAS SLOWLY STARTING TO CLOSE OVER THE GLASS DOOR, AND ONE OF THOSE FUCKING MASKS WAS BEHIND IT. I WAS ALONE IN THE ROOM (AS FAR AS I KNEW) BUT THAT THING WAS THERE, AND THERE WERE SHARP TOOTHED CLOWNS WANDERING AROUND BEHIND THE FUCKER. THAT’S WHEN THAT FUCKING MUSIC STARTED.

TO THE TUNE OF RING AROUND THE ROSY, WHAT I REMEMBER IS JUST ‘WE ARE GETTING CLOSER, WE’LL BE SURE TO FIND YOU, MONSTERS ARE SCREAMING, ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE SCREAMING’

THEN ONE OF THE CLOWNS WEARING SOME DANK MOLDY GREEN OUTFIT PHASED THROUGH THE DOOR, THE MASK WAS STILL THERE MIND YOU.

I TRIED TO HIDE BEHIND A CURTAIN BUT I MEAN, EVEN I KNEW THAT WOULDN’T WORK. SO IT FUCKING RAN AT ME AND THEN I WOKE UP FEELING LIKE I WAS ON FIRE.

I GET THE FEELING. THAT TODAY IS NOT GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY.

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OKAY BUT THAT WAS FAR MORE CLOWNS THAN I’VE EVER SEEN IN A DREAM.

WHY WAS I HAVING A NIGHTMARE ABOUT MURDER CLOWNS.

NOT EVEN THE CRAZY JUGGALO KIND EITHER

JUST

CLOWNS.

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WOW, FANTASTIC. MEANT TO JUST FREAK OUT ABOUT THAT IN PRIVATE

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I HAVE NOT BEEN A DICK. I HAVEN’T EVEN BEEN TALKING TO ANYONE.