cavejohnsonaperturedroid

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

You are a great great man. I respect you to a high degree

Thank you. We here at Aperture respect science to a high degree. And if you weren’t wearing sunglasses inside, I’d respect you to a high degree.

Seriously, the whole sunglasses thing inside really kills it.

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

((This is the anon that called you a great great man. Just wanted to also say that the person who runs/ran(?) this blog is also super cool and I wish you luck and love in your journeys with those buses cuz that shiz seems complicated and you deserve a calm, less stress-inducing summer. Happy holidays mate))

((Thank you. The bus delivery thing was a job over the summer while school was out. But the real stress is in driving a school bus with school kids inside of it. I have to deal with some real brats on my route, but for the most part, they are good kids.))

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

Cave Johnson here.

Due to budget cuts, your holiday bonuses have also been cut.

Moon rocks don’t buy themselves!

Although at this point I’m kind of hoping that they pay for themselves.

Cave Johnson, Happy Holidays (Screw you, Trump. We’re multi-cultural at Aperture!) to all. Also we’re done here.

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

☭ x

Battle Intro: Normally I pay people to do this for me.Victory: Another hostile takeover.Half HP: Not the way I would hope things would go.Low HP: You're driving a hard bargain. Almost to hard.Defeat: Well, this is a first.Death: Cave Johnson...we're...done...heeeeere.Assist: Greg! Hurry it up!Taunt: You're unfit for testing!Reacting to Taunt: My grandfather taunts better than you!Flee: Now I'm thinking with Portals.Reacting to Flee: Security, test subject escaping. Again.Tie: We've come to terms.Perfect Victory: QED. This was going to happen.Low HP Victory: Damn. I'm going to need a scotch after this.Finishing Move: You're now my personal test subject.

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

Send ☭ x for a vs. battle quote to your muse

Battle Intro: Victory: Half HP: Low HP: Defeat: Death: Assist: Taunt: Reacting to Taunt: Flee: Reacting to Flee: Tie: Perfect Victory: Low HP Victory: Finishing Move:

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

toxingeneration said: (Noooo Team Mystic, Articuno~)

((Come to Team Valor. We have a Charizard.))

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

Cave Johnson here.

Just a head’s up, there is an Articuno in Testing Chamber 235B12.

And a Vulpix in my office.

And while we’re at it, if you’re not Team Valor, then you get to spend a week in mandatory testing.

Cave Johnson, we’re done here.

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

((reblogging for the night crew))

((An announcement.))

((I’m thinking about retiring this blog. I haven’t done anything with it for months. And months. It’s just sitting there.

Plus I’ve been busy. As some of you may know, I’m a school bus driver by trade. The thing is, that the school system doesn’t pay you when school is out. So to that end, this summer I’ve been delivering school buses across the country. Two weeks ago I went to South Dakota. Last week it was Long Island, and this week I’m heading back to the LI. All while trying to cope with the fact that I was diagnosed with the diabetus last week as well.

If you want to follow me as I head out on the road, I try to post where I’m at and what I’ve been doing on my personal blog, which can be found @ranhakubi. Feel free to give me a follow as I go across country and occasionally point and laugh at things that look like penises. Fun for the whole family, really.))

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

((An announcement.))

((I’m thinking about retiring this blog. I haven’t done anything with it for months. And months. It’s just sitting there.

Plus I’ve been busy. As some of you may know, I’m a school bus driver by trade. The thing is, that the school system doesn’t pay you when school is out. So to that end, this summer I’ve been delivering school buses across the country. Two weeks ago I went to South Dakota. Last week it was Long Island, and this week I’m heading back to the LI. All while trying to cope with the fact that I was diagnosed with the diabetus last week as well.

If you want to follow me as I head out on the road, I try to post where I’m at and what I’ve been doing on my personal blog, which can be found @ranhakubi. Feel free to give me a follow as I go across country and occasionally point and laugh at things that look like penises. Fun for the whole family, really.))

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

Cave Johnson here.

Effective as of today, I am standing down as President and CEO of Aperture Science.

I leave Aperture, my beautiful science filled baby, to a person I have trusted over the years; someone who has been my friend, my confidant, and one of the people that I’ve been able to show my true self to. You all THOUGHT you were getting the real Cave in these recordings. HA!

Anyways, please welcome the next President and CEO of Aperture, Greg Wheatley.

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

((Happy Munday! This was me last week. Bronchitis is a bitch.))

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

Cave Johnson, I love you. ((but seriously this blog is the best))

Ah. Another fan. Seems like I must be doing something right these days. I bet Breen doesn’t have admires like this! Score one for ol’ Cave!

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

Someone want to tell the boys in pharmaceuticals that they are to use their own break room?

Third time this month...

Chell can see the solution to any given puzzle, but can she see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

… they’re slipping chemicals into the break-room food again, aren’t they?   

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

Absolutely not.

Imagine Cave ordering his casket to be shot into space at the first opportunity.

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

Why would anyone do that? We made that stuff to be a pesticide. And as strong as it is, it’s a damn good pesticide, if I say so myself.

Don't EVER let Tumblr make you think it's okay to:

- Flood the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

"Do go on then!" Lana smiled cheerfully, eager to hear whatever Cave had to say. He could probably talk about the dirt under their feet or the temperature of those questionable lakes and she'd be enthralled.

“It’s part of something else I’ve been working on down here. It’s one thing to win the war. Nobody ever thinks about the back end. About how to rebuild. Literally. The way I see it, humanity will have to get back to where it once was in a timely fashion. Quantum tunneling, or, as we say around here, thinking with portals, can help with that.”

[cavejohnsonaperturedroid]

Lana had to think on that subject, until it came to mind, "Are you talking about something like the portal we use to get into this place?"

“Similar, but more compact. More...local.”