caw-oticdork

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i love divorce i love when people realize that they aren't a good fit for each other and get divorced about it. more people should get divorced

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Consider this angle for the Sedacthy:

YOU are its very cool pet

On the left is the Sedacthy, the replacement for the sea devil. So I presume that like the creature they're replacing, they swiftly grow to 5 ft (1.5m) then slowly to around 7 ft (2.1 m), then very very slowly continue to grow the rest of thier life. They can speak with aquatic or amphibious animals, specialize in ganging up on people, and thier "Challenging Shriek" lets them immobilize others with fear! Also their status is decided by how cool thier pet is, so scouts have things like snakes and eels while the leaders will show up with a megalodon or an entire cast of giant crabs.

On the right is the original, the Sea Devil! They swiftly grow to 5 ft (1.5m) then slowly to around 7 ft (2.1 m), then very very slowly the rest of thier life. They're shark people, only like...pop culture evil shark people. So they go into a frenzy at the smell of blood, eat people, and can telepathically order sharks around. They have a perfectly average intelligence, so they're not just the terribly strong brutes you'd expect. But they are still usually brutes, living in a might makes right society where the strongest and/or smartest rule. But hey, at least they're fair, every pup has the same chance to succeed. And lots of random mutations too, most commonly gaining an extra set of arms!

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Betty Netch from The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

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Weil ich mich schon seit einer Weile frage, ob wir Zollstock Georg sind oder nicht:

Bei Zweck-WG/getrennten Eigentumsverhältnissen in einer WG zählen nur die eigenen, in gemeinsamem Haushalt die kollektive Gesamtanzahl.

Bonus-Punkte für Zusatzinfo über Handwerker-Dasein oder Handwerker-Elternteile in den Tags, weil mich interessiert, ob das einen Einfluss hat.

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My guess has always been "the horns are to the mothers what the herbs-stuffed beak was to a plague doctor, but for bad fold stuff instead of plague"

when do you think the Mothers Merciful decided on horns. like was there an original trendsetter. was there an excess of horns laying around cheap. were they for stampede attacks in melee combat. did they previously do cat ears or fruit basket hats and then decide it was a bit much

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this blog is a dandelion appreciation zone

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Police detective trying to solve a murder who accidentally stumbles onto the victim's neighbour's secret - he's a vampire. Drinks blood, avoids the sun, the whole shebang. He didn't kill her though. So while that's life changing information and whatever it does not help his case one bit

Vampire didn't even know her that well. He caught her cat once when the thing got out and brought him back after sundown. She gave him a cobbler, which he said was very bad, but not the sort of thing you'd do a murder over. "That's not funny," says the cop. "A woman is dead."

And the vampire is like, "Well, I implied that killing her was wrong."

The cop gives up with the vampire. Finds out a lady this woman worked with is like, a witch, or does magic or some shit. Real magic. Cool. She didn't kill her either though. Jesus Christ.

This cop finding an entire magical society and being utterly humourless and annoyed about the entire thing because it's not even helping his CASE

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just passed a guy in the store wearing a shirt that said "I hate being sexy but I'm a chubby bearded man so I can't help it". hell yeah brother

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Shout out to that guy from Florida talking to my coworker about wanting to take his sail boat through Lake Superior in November. He was planning on a little trip and my coworker was like hey man I don't know how to tell you this but you will Actually Die

*Lake Superior, in the far distance*: yes yes yes yes yes do it yes yes

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the cucks have unionized

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when i say “that reminds me” & theres zero connection you just have to take my word for it theres no time to explain

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somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

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Maia and Csethiro Goblinemperor are kinda the funniest pairing in the world... pious non-confrontational man who accidentally became emperor and would LOVE to just go and be a monk or something, put in an arranged marriage with an academic-jock swordswoman whose life dream is to get to say really loudly WHAT SIR, DO YOU QUARRELL?? I DEMAND SATISFACTION and then fight a duel about it. Initially she was pissed about the arranged marriage but now she keeps offering to kill people for him. Like when cats bring you things they hunted. It's like. Maia, thinking tentatively it would be nice to have a wife who doesn't hate him, while Csethiro is in the background overflowing a teacup because she got distracted by the third narrative arc of her maladaptive daydream where she's Lancelot and Maia's Guinevere. Maia probably gets jumpscared awake in the middle of the night w her face like an inch from his and before he can panic she's like 'on a scale of one to ten how impressed wouldst thou be if I crossed a bridge made out of swords to rescue thee and there were also lions at the end' and Maia is like '????? ten?? is that a thing that happens????'

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Sodium vapor street lamps look wonderful on snowy mornings. 13th of February 2022.

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