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Love when my anxiety makes me freak out
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Original Poem
Patient Love
By Cayla Mabry
Loved
The first word that comes to mind when I think of you.
You make me feel loved
You make me happy
I’ve never been this happy
Never known love like this
Now that I do
I’m not letting go
I get moments
Where I just think
How lucky I am
To be loved by you
To be cared for
To be worshiped by you
I sometimes daydream
Of the future
I see many things
Each time it’s different
Yet,
Always a constant is you
My love
I wait patiently for our future
Whatever it is
I know we will be happy
And I’ll be forever
In love with you
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This last week has been emotionally draining and mentally exhausting!
I am incredibly thankful for my best friend , boyfriend and my GBF. They have been my rock when i have needed them which I am going to need them a lot !!
I am thankful to have people who love and support me ❤️
Each of you have been there for me be it for me to cry over FaceTime , watch movies and let me nap on you and our other friend in a pile or you allow me to sit in the lobby at your job and just chill.
Thank you,
I love all of you very very much
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“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
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Please allow yourself a moment to send prayers or positive thoughts to Luke Perry and his family. Let that love we feel for Fred Andrews spill over and help heal.
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Bughead after 2x08 prt 2
Betty : “ I was thinking she should not get to be the one making decisions “ 
Jughead : “ do you have any idea what you have just done” yelled Jughead 
Betty : went to walk back into the bar 
Jughead : grabs her arm and turns her around “ you said yourself we make decisions together” he yelled
Betty : “ I don’t take well to others threatening the people I love you know this “ she yelled at him
The others who were in the bar walked outside F.P. and Penny were with them
Tall Boy : “ sure is the daughter of Alice , alright”
Betty glared at him
F.P.: “ Penny, go ahead”
Penny: steps forward “ I am sorry  to the both of you “ 
Betty :” your sorry” 
Penny :” I should not have done what i did , you owe me nothing kid” she told Jughead 
Betty :” Why should he forgive you, why should anyone” 
Penny :” you might want to  keep your girl on a leash”
Jughead :”She does her own thing” 
Penny: “ Betty, I am sorry, I should not have let my anger get the best of me “ 
Betty :” I should not have let mine get ahead of me “
F.P. : “ Penny won’t be coming around for a while, Jughead you owe her nothing, your debt has been paid”
Betty : “ Well fantastic” 
Penny : walked away to her car and drove off 
F.P. : looked at his son and his girlfriend “ you might not want to go home to Alice” 
Betty :” told her i was sleeping at Veronica’s “
F.P. :” Your welcome to stay at the trailer for the night, i have a feeling Alice will come around south side at some point tomorrow “ 
Jughead : “ We might go meet up with the others “ 
F.P. : “ Alright, now get out of here “ 
Jughead got on the motorcycle he handed Betty a helmet she put it on
They rode off towards the quarry.
When they arrived Fangs was sitting on an old
Couch Toni was finding music on her phone
Sweetpea was sitting on another couch with a girl who had dyed blue hair she had on a blue tank top black jeans and combat boots.
“ wow , you showed “ said Fangs
“ nice jacket “ said Toni
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Why is it that even though you hurt me I still let you in?
Is it because I loved you? 
Is it because I feeling lost and confused?
Lately I  want to lean on you, when I know I shouldn’t 
I message you, when I KNOW ... your not going to answer.
If by some MIRACLE you do, your stuff is always better than mine.
I am Tired. 
Tired of being ignored.. 
Tired of being the rebound. 
Tired of being the one you come to with everything.
I let you. 
When in the end I still get hurt. 
I let you vent to me.
YOU don’t let me vent to you.
Even if I did. All you would do is laugh about it with your friends.
At one point we shared everything
What happened?
Oh, right you found someone better. 
That is until they left you. 
Years I have sat on the side lines and watched you make mistake after mistake. 
I have watched you go from girl to girl . Fucking whoever will let you. 
In the end you say it’s because SHE messed you up. 
You don’t know this yet I HATE her. 
It’s a deep Hate
All because in my opinion 
She did Break you
She ROYALLY fucked you up. 
In the end I am ALWAYS there for you
Well I Can’t 
I cannot keep doing that. 
i Have to learn to STOP
Stop being there 
Stop listening
Stop torturing myself 
This is easier said than done. 
I promised myself that I will not message
I lie to myself. 
On a Daily basis. 
Saying today will be a good day. 
I will not message you
I will forget about you. 
That has not happen yet. 
I don’t know how to stop. 
How to stop caring
How to stop being there for you!
How to not give a damn while I listen to you 
I have to remind myself. 
EVERYTIME. 
I feel so Naive 
I feel Heartbroken everytime we talk...
Like every time I let you back in
My Heart Breaks more and more
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To A Backstabber
This is to the person who comes in and out of my life. 
As THEY please. 
You walked over me for Years. 
I am so done. 
Done with being there for you. 
For some fucking reason I kept letting you in. 
Well sorry Hun. 
NOT Anymore. 
I am sure everyone at some point has had someone like this in their life.
Maybe it’s a boy who at one point was your best friend and is now a COMPLETE JERK. 
Maybe it’s a popular girl who is fake nice, yet you give her a chance anyway. 
Maybe it’s someone you have known your entire life and treated like dirt.
For some reason I let her.....
To whoever that person might be.... 
I say stop talking to them. 
The boy I just called a jerk.. was my first love who probably will always have a place in my heart. 
That popular girl... is someone who became friends with my family.. so I have to be nice when I see the her. 
The girl who i have known my entire life since i was little... well she’s more fake than the popular girl. 
I have always been someone who will always be there for them if they need me. 
Well I think I have shed enough tear over bullies my entire life. 
As someone who has been bullied.. whose been the joke... whose been pushed around.
I am done. 
Done with your bullshit apologies.. Done with the fake promises. 
Was nice knowing you......while you wanted me to. 
so have a nice life to the Popular, the Jerk and the imposter.   
Love, The Outcast
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footprints
my back is marked with your footprints
from where you’ve walked all over me
so many times
you were always sorry
it was always the same promises
and apologies
and i fell for it every time
and let you back in
                 over 
                    and 
                        over
and 
            over 
                  and 
                     over
you let me down
          over 
                and 
                   over
you walked all over me
and took advantage of me
                  over 
                       and 
                           over
i let you
            but not anymore  
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To the boy who Abandoned me Prt 2
So i heard from you.... after MONTHS
A number of months- 7 to be exact 
 with no call or text or any social media form of contact. 
I was NOT Expecting a reply. 
yet I got one. 
By some MIRACLE ..
in so many words .. We TALKED
I am now crying my eyes out as I write this. 
Why am i crying?
Maybe because after radio silence
RADIO SILENCE
it wasn’t a long conversation. 
They never are.
The last time we talked was  months ago. 
you well you were your usually self.. 
JERK
you always were a jerk. 
i tried asking “ How you been?”
you were dismissive. 
Which made me think “ if your going to be a jerk, why did you even respond”
So you were dismissive yet open somewhat. 
you only share what you want to. 
Found out some new things.. 
So it was good hearing from you.
I hope your safe in whatever you are doing.. 
I will be here.....
Hurting once again. 
You.. 
well you don’t care about me 
not like I did about you 
I don’t think you ever did or ever will 
Which breaks my heart more and more
you will always be the one who Abandons me. 
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Betty and Jughead After 2x08 prt 1
(This is if Betty had not listened if he told her to go home. some of this is out of character )
Betty watched as Jughead walked away from her back into the bar. 
She stood there. Her phone buzzed she looked it was her mother asking if she was going to be coming home. 
Betty : responds to the message “Not coming home tonight, Ronnie needs me “
Alice : replied a few moments later “ have fun” 
Betty put her phone in her pocket she then walked back into the bar. 
She noticed Jughead sitting in a booth with Sweetpea, Fangs and Toni. 
she walked over head held high Sweetpea noticed her walking up 
Sweet Pea : “ look it’s little miss northside” he said in a joking tine 
Betty: pulled up a chair not carring “ not feeling the northside so much anymore”
Toni: looks between Jughead and Betty seeing some tension “ Betty, this is Sweet Pea and Fangs Fogarty”
Betty : “ nice to meet you both” she said with a smile 
Sweet Pea :” Some dance, I didnt know Northsiders could be that wild” 
Jughead: Glares at him 
Betty : looks slightly uncomfortable “ thanks “ 
Toni : “ so who can I crash with tonight “ 
Fangs : “ sorry T, my dads back from his trip”
Toni: “ how long until he is gone”
Fangs : “ by friday he should be gone”
Toni : “ Sweet Pea, can I crash at yours” 
Sweet Pea : “ alright, only until Fangs dad leaves “
Toni: “ you won’t even know i am there”
Jughead: “Bets I told you to go home “
Betty :” It’s not just your choice” 
Jughead : “ it kind of is”
Betty :” No Jughead, it’s not”
Jughead: Gets up and pulls Betty gently up and away from the table towards the rooms in the back of the bar he pulls her into a room “ you don’t understand “ 
Betty: “ no, you don’t seem to understand, I told you that i will not let this civil war tear us apart “
She looked at Jughead he sat on the bed that was in the room looking at her 
Betty looked around the room it had a TV, a bed and a desk Betty locked the door that she was leaning against. 
Jughead : “ I don’t want you to get hurt”
Betty: “ I won’t, I told you that i was not letting the civil war split us apart, I meant that” she said in a calm voice 
Jughead: “ Betty , i cannot protect you anymore”  he yelled at her 
Betty : “ why Not, What changed tonight besides me wanting to be a part of this world “ she yelled back 
Jugead : looked at her 
Betty : “ I dont know what changed , yet i Am NOT, going to leave you , i won’t , so stop pushing me away” 
She looked at him she walked closer to him 
Jughead:  stands up 
Betty : “ Jughead, I am not going to disappear, tell me what happened” she looked at him with hopeful eyes she was hoping he would listen to her. 
Jughead:” I am being blackmailed by Penny”
Betty: “ what” 
Jughead : sits on the b\ed 
Betty : walks over and sits next to him 
Jughead:” I did a job, as a favor that i owed, it was not a one time thing, i thought it would be”
Betty: “ what” 
Jughead: “She is now using a video of Archie and I delivering whatever it was, she also threatened you “ Jughead told her 
Betty : Get’s up and walks towards the door 
Jughead: gets up and pulls her around so she is facing him. 
Betty : “ She is still out there” 
Jughead :” Bets,no” 
Betty : does not listen unlocks the door 
Jughead : pull her around so she is facing him. he leans in and kisses her 
Betty : pushes his jacket off his shoulders 
The jacket falls to the floor and Jugheas’s beanie follows it 
Jughead: runs his fingers through her hair
Betty: breaks the kiss. she picks up Jughead’s jacket she put it on she unbuttons the top 3 buttons of her shirt . 
Jughead :” what are you doing” 
Betty : “ going to have a chat” 
Betty walked out of the room Jughead picks up his beanie he follows her.
Betty walked out into the bar she noticed Penny was talking to F.P.
she walked over and pulled up a chair 
Penny: “ Elizabeth Cooper”
Betty : “ Penny Peabody”
F.P : notices Jughead walking over carefully “Jug, take Betty back to the trailer”
Betty : “ Actually I have some words for Penny”
Penny : “ that was some interesting dance, guess that means you are a serpent since you did that task “ 
F.P. : “ She can be if she wants, i am sure Alice’s jacket is around here”
Betty : “ you might want to find that jacket”
F.P. : “ Alice will not be happy” 
Betty : “ then she is a Hypocrite “ 
F.P.: “ i will leave you to talk” he got up and left 
Penny :” What can I do for you” 
Betty : “ for starters find a new errand boy” she glanced over Jughead had sat back at the table with Toni, Sweet Pea and Fangs. 
Penny: “ I see he told you”
Betty :” not much we don;t share , so if you continue this then you can see what i can really do “ 
Penny : “ you threatening me “
Betty : “ no, this is just girl talk, serpent to serpent “
Penny : “ then let’s see what you can do , i have been at this longer little bitch “ 
Betty :” well I don’t give up on the people I love, i am literally in the snake pit now, so  bring it” as she said this she stood up 
Penny : stands up “ little girl your in way over your head” 
Betty “ actually i don’t think i am, you may be a snake charmer yet I see no charm”
Toni : walks over “ Come on Cooper, we are all going to the quarry “ 
Penny : “Topaz, go somewhere”
Betty : “ like I said , find someone else or else” 
Penny : Slaps Betty in the face 
Betty : hold her face the sound her her being hit echoed through the bar 
The bar was dead silent. Everyone waiting for what would happen next.
Penny : smirks 
Betty : throws a punch hitting her right in the nose 
Penny : grabs her bleeding nose she  then tackles Betty into a table
Betty : slams Penny into the table while punching her in the face
They are pulled apart Jughead is holding Betty While Hawkeye is holding Penny back 
FP :walked out from one of the rooms “ what the hell”
Penny : “ your sons little bitch better get the hell out “
Betty : “ you slapped me you old bitch “
FP: “ Hawk, take Penny to room three “
Hawkeye takes Penny to one of the rooms 
FP : “ Just like your mother “ he handed Betty a serpent jacket 
Betty : “ thanks “ 
FP : “ no problem , no more fighting “
Betty : “ then keep her away form me “ she got out of Jughead’s grip she threw the jacket on then walked out of the bar. 
Jughead : watches as she walks away 
FP: “ keep an eye on her, take her back to the trailer fix her up”
Jughead : nods his head. 
When Jughead gets outside he sees Fangs,Toni, Sweet Pea and Betty talking
Betty is sitting on the back of Jughead’s motorcycle 
Toni : “ Jones, we going to the quarry “ 
Jughead : “ go on, i think i will fix her up then we might come over” 
Sweet Pea : “ alright “ he gets on his bike 
Toni : “ is Ella coming” 
Sweet Pea: “  I will ride by hers and see if she wants to join” ( You meet her in part 2)
Toni : “ Just don’t forget about us “
Sweet Pea : “ no promises” he drives off Toni follows so does Fangs 
Jughead : “ what were you thinking “ 
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LOVE THIS !!!!!!!!!
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Cole with his other nephew being adorable
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