cberzatto92

[cberzatto92]

what if I wanted to give you my number 😔

thats not good self preservation.

[cberzatto92]

You should invite Sydney over and apologise profusely. Grovel at her feet, kneel and beg for forgiveness. That poor girl has been through enough. Stop giving her stress and give her orgasms instead .

am I allowed to outsource?

[cberzatto92]

girl when are you gonna man tf up and confess to syd!!!!!

I told her shes the best thing to happen to the restaurant when she walked in. what more do you want from meee

[cberzatto92]

https://www.tumblr.com/cberzatto92/792992923114438656/i-hate-claire-with-every-bone-in-my-body-i-yearn?source=share

Anyway, this *slide my number to you* is for Claire. I'd like to offer her my heart and hand in marriage and pls pass on that I'm free whenever she wants. I cook, I clean and am a great listener.

(haters gonna hate and I ain't the one to talk shit about smart, gorgeous women, I'm the one to love them.)

ill let her know

[cberzatto92]

Please tell me you let the ladies sit on your face. You look like one of the good guys that gets angry if you hover and not sit properly 🥵

uh.. um… I just do what’s asked of me really.

[cberzatto92]

No, I agree with that previous person. Absolutely adorable, especially when you're concentrating ☺️

🐦‍⬛

how sweet… I dont really notice these things I guess..

[cberzatto92]

You are the most cutest little thing ever

I dont know about cute. I mean… my big nose and unruly curls aren’t that nice..

[cberzatto92]

I hate Claire with every bone in my body. I yearn to burn her down. Shes not safe.

uh…. I dont know how to respond to this…

[cberzatto92]

I don't know you, but you replied to anon with Buster Keaton. (I may have just fallen for you a little bit.)

gettin everything i wanted but never what i deserve… I think this is a berzatto curse.

[cberzatto92]

agree to a point..

[cberzatto92]

[cberzatto92]

https://www.tumblr.com/cberzatto92/792506506379657216/my-skirt-threatens-to-lift-from-the-wind-brushing?source=share

... must've been the wind...

[cberzatto92]

[cberzatto92]

sorry for fucking up our conversation i had never had that one before

[cberzatto92]

parents will make u feel guilty about absurd shit like breathing too much air or smth. and it will work too like you'll be laying on the ground years later paralyzed by the guilt that you're breathing too much until someone grabs u by the shoulders and tells u that is fucking stupid. and then you'll need to remind yourself of that every day for the rest of your life to function

[cberzatto92]

isolation the most goated coping mechanism i love talking to no one and losing my mind alone

[cberzatto92]

chef what's your skincare routine

upgraded from bar of soap to whatever generic cleanser is on sale at walmart.