ccosmiccookiess

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asexual sex workers are braver than any US marine

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ⓘ A sewing machine is a device that provides a several-fold increase of the speed at which you can make mistakes

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whichever ad exec at Geico came up with the phrasing "up to 15% or more" needs some kind of award for concocting one of the most meaningless strings of words in the English language. all it guarantees is that the number is either lower or higher than 15%, inclusive. up to 15%... or more. a bladeless knife with no handle.

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Today I met 6 irish draught horses. One was a FOAL already taller than me!! Another put her head on her shoulder and I swear to god her head was the size of my torso. I have been around horses but these ones were so crazy large. I am not a short person but I was DWARFED. Also according to Wikipedia they have a caste system? And then there's the Irish Draught Sport Horse?? Quoth my partner "like you can have a sport version of a car?" Anyway. I thought you'd like to know. Any Killie thoughts on the Irish draught horse? I have gained a new perspective on how horses are so large and that little jock is SMALL

OH HO HO you lucky beast!! I’m so glad you told me this. Seriously, thank you.

💀

Omg the Irish Draught. Typical horse breed story: Ireland, as usual, produces some of the best Bone, in horses, on planet Earth. Bone that is prized around the world. Bone that is snatched up by the sheikhs and emperors of the world to play genetics-based gacha games with. You can build almost any muscle you like on an athlete, but a horse athlete does better when they start with a good skeleton to hang it on, and for thousands of years Ireland has excelled in the production of certain high-value traits. Good Bone.

Ireland typically completely drops the ball on doing anything with this insane production of a prime resource, making a vague face, and saying “it’s what we call a horse” and when asked for specifics may stare at you like you’re stupid and eventually admit, “a big horse.”

Thus leaving Americans to sneak in like vultures, snatching the Good Bone, taking it seriously, and shouting “this is a BRAND now.”

THE IRISH DRAUGHT!!! Beautiful, practical, marvellous bone! A fine coldblood - that’s a heavy European “draft” type, the butch kind of horse, as opposed to the greyhound desert horses that are “hot blooded.”

Mixing the hotblooded Arab lines with European native breeds - including the Irish Hobby - produced the strong bone and pared-down athleticism of the Thoroughbred. The studbooks were then closed, and Thoroughbreds today may only be descended from registered Thoroughbreds. They are athletic, energetic, greyhound horses - the fastest domestic animals, a feat of bioengineering, a direct challenge to God.

But they’re a bit breakable and mad, being stripped down so ferociously over generations to the essentials of running. In the relentless push for producing Speed, breeding loses the focus on things like Good Bone, a Kind Eye, Cross-Country Stamina, and Strong Constitution. It’s like a game that maxes out the “sprint” stat for speedruns, and produces a player character that’s perfect at speedruns, but if you want to sit down for a tabletop roleplaying game with friends, instantly breaks their ankle and bursts into flames. Can you keep the sprinty style and good characteristics, but still have someone that can play other sports and games?

So if you personally want a tough and sporty horse, boiling with athletic ability, but sane and strong and sober - you cross the Thoroughbred with a - well, with a steady, consistent coldblood. Ideally, one who has been honed over generations to be a friendly, clever tractor. A big, kind masterpiece of a different sort entirely; something of pure and powerful practicality. something that patches the deficiencies of the Thoroughbred character, something with fabulous Bone. Ideally something that isn’t too inbred itself; something powerful, practical, but not a total tank; some sturdy bastard that’s been kicking around, quietly doing a job, for centuries. Good bone - but not the weighty grandeur of the Shire or Ardennes - we want a bit of secret fire, something that will hunt. Something that will kick over the traces and jump, over wild country.

Hey, what do you know - there’s the Irish Draught.

Crossing the Thoroughbred with the Irish Draught produces the Irish Sport Horse. This is an athlete that doesn’t just sprint. Fast, flexible, steady and clever, with Thoroughbred bred-to-be-an-athlete combined with Irish Draught’s legendary constitution, you see the Irish Sport in the Olympics, taking gold medals. They do very well as a practical all-rounder. Hence the name: the Irish Sport.

But here’s where the tricky part comes in. Irish horse people never codified the Irish Draught “properly.” So the Irish Sport often has infusions of other native breeds… as does any creature described casually as an Irish Draught. If you ask the native owners they just say What The Fuck Do You Mean: It’s A Big Horse. But then, if you’re an eager American who genotypes your Irish Sport, you might come back with… CONNEMARA PONY?! And when you inquire, the breeders tend to say things like “well, you see, we look at them with our eyes; and then if it’s a big one, it’s a Draught, and if it’s a small one, it’s a Pony. What’s the problem?”

“The problem,” Americans say, “is the total lack of branding.”

so Americans have been leading the cause. The ship has sailed to rebrand the Irish Sport as “thoroughbred + purebred registered Irish Draught ONLY.” The Irish Sport is a bit of a mix.

But the Irish DRAUGHT Sport Horse is when you take a “purebred” Irish Draught - insert joke about how you find one of these, but it’s the top tier of the “caste system” - and cross it to a Thoroughbred, and get a PEDIGREE. That is what Americans people are trying to do with the concept Irish Draught Sport Horse.

…. But literally everyone calls them Irish Sports anyway. LOL.

And the Irish Draught, despite not being used so much for its intended purposes any more, remains important and influential partly because of its ability to produce athletes.

At any rate, yes, FUCK, Killie is tiny!!

He’s short by any standard, and this is just what jockeys are like, but occasionally it does look a bit wild. Here you go, you little sod. Here’s a MONSTER. Ride it with your terrifyingly athletic thighs and the power of your MIND.

Killie loves a good Irish Draught, though they’re not in his sphere of work. His horrid English mother breeds and keeps Irish Sports for foxhunting. (One of them in his childhood was named Wellington, and this was very slightly political and nasty of Helena.)

He doesn’t get to do much cross-country but there’s a lot to be said for a willing Irish Sport, and if asked to choose a horse for his own pleasure, (after being paralysed by the concept), he wouldn’t pick any other breed.

I’m so glad you shared this with me. Thank you.

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i would like to thank the uc berkeley professor who created the technology to put heart rate monitors in watches who also happens to be a furry

bc of you i was able to get my pots diagnosis and better understand what’s wrong w me 🙏🙏

furries contribution to this world is unmatched yall

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"I think I hauve covid" is sort of the modern man's anime nosebleed

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There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function

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i’m going to burst into tears. such a hauntingly stupid and wonderful phrase to immortalize somewhere. LOOK AT PIttbert!

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The left image as a rug and the right image as a ceiling poster

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Tourists are fucking up the Giants Causeway in Ireland by wedging coins between the rocks which are then eroding and staining everything and in some cases causing the rocks to crack. For any Americans on here planning to visit Ireland: There is a mystical and ancient Irish tradition says that when you visit any of our places of natural beauty you should speak at a normal volume, leave no trace you were there and fuck off home. Tell your friends and family.

Stop ruining fucking everything.

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So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

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Look at their eyes. See how big they are?

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you'll be hanging out with the sweetest person ever and they'll randomly tell you a childhood experience that would have vaporised you and you're like oh we should find your parents and murder them irl

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tumblrs ui design is so ass like its so incredibly easy to just misclick and unfollow a beloved long time mutual or follow some cunt instead of blocking them or send someone a random post on accident . and theyre still just like "yeep the only possible improvement our ui could ever use is Make Everything Circles i think. and maybe add a few more buttons nobody uses"