cedar-woods

[cedar-woods]

Can someone help me make a flirty text sound like a legal contract?

I joked with my partner today about keeping his hands to himself (meaning no masturbating) until the we see each other and he countered back saying the wording was only that he couldn’t touch anyone else, and I did not actually refer to him not touching himself.

I want to write back with a bit of legalese because I know it will make him laugh, but also he is very good with contract verbiage and I don’t want to make a mistake!

Essentially something about him a) not touching anyone else, b) not touching himself,and c) saving his fat load for me lol.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!!!

submitted by /u/anapforme [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v7w3x2/can_someone_help_me_make_a_flirty_text_sound_like/

[cedar-woods]

Hump Day Report for June 08, 2022

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

submitted by /u/Elorie [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v7gcna/hump_day_report_for_june_08_2022/

[cedar-woods]

Tips for stimulating the G Spot during oral

I (35f) recently guided my partner (35m) to stimulate my g spot area whilst he was performing oral. I demonstrated the 'come hither' motion. He quite quickly reverted to using his fingers how he normally would, which is pleasant but I'd really like to experiment with more g spot pressure. We spoke about it the next day and he said he finds positioning his fingers in that position difficult. He's really open to trying different techniques/positions that might be easier for him. Currently we tend to do oral with me laying down and him between my legs facing me.

submitted by /u/whisperbells [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v6oyfy/tips_for_stimulating_the_g_spot_during_oral/

[cedar-woods]

I pegged my husband, he loved it, but...

He said it was the lamest orgasm he ever had.

First time doing many things to him that he usually does to me. He was quite thrilled with the whole thing. So I put a vibrating dildo in, very gently and very lubed. He loved it, he just hated the prostate orgasm.

We thought these were supposed to be the best orgasms of all. Did I do anything wrong? Or is it not a great experience for all men?

Note: he did cum and had a refractory period, it's not like the internet says that he didn't. It was just mild.

submitted by /u/Tantalizing_Doll [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v633w9/i_pegged_my_husband_he_loved_it_but/

[cedar-woods]

Why do other people make orgasming from oral look so damn easy?!

Someone please help this mentally frustrated 30F! My husband and I have great sex and I’ve even gotten so much better at speaking up and asking for exactly what I want. Last night I was even more vocal about how I wanted to be eaten out and I was so close LIKE SOOOOOO CLOSE I felt like I could reach out and touch it but I was starting to get frustrated and so I had him stop. He could tell I was so close and frustrated and was trying everything. He even continued after I said stop felt great but still and nothing. It was really wet down there we did try to keep whipping it but that worked only so well. So many people on Reddit and in life (aka social media) talk about making their wives of girlfriends cum over and over this way and I can’t even get one!! I’ve had it happen a handful of times mostly by surprise and it was fucking amazing I just want it over and over again! But I can’t get there and it’s literally making me MAD!

On another note I use to question if my husband cared how long he was eating me out and if he really liked it or if he was just saying so and last night proved he loves going down on me. He def didn’t give two craps about how long because he was willing to stay between my legs licking until I cam on his face. When I told him to stop he was still so rock hard omg I didn’t even care anymore that i didn’t reach an orgasm in that moment but I was so excited that he was still so hard after going down on me for so long. Like it made him so excited 😆 and yes he did make me cum from fucking me just wish I had gotten two out of the session because lately I feel so ridiculously greedy I want all of the orgasms please and i dont care lol. Like I turned 30 and my hormones feel like when I was 18 just honey all the time need to take the beast

submitted by /u/mmj_ftqueen [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v62r1k/why_do_other_people_make_orgasming_from_oral_look/

[cedar-woods]

What to do with a man who is not experimental and seem to be less driven.

We are very open to talk about issues we have, but if I were to be even more explicit about my needs it could hurt the relationship we have, I feel. He straight up told me he never wants to initiate because he is not that type, so I always have to initiate, which is starting to eat away on my libido - I have told this to him, this was when he told me he just cannot do the initiation. I also wanted to spice things up a little with role play and he said he would not be able to do that. Thing is, I really love him and don’t want to be with somebody else, but I’m starting to get thoughts :( we have been through way too much together and I’m quite experienced to be able to tell that he is overall the best in everything that matters to me, as in, I might not have had the best sex of my entire life with him, but the men I had it with were not desirable in other life areas which are more important than sex - being able to talk and spend a lot of time together just hanging out, etc. and often sex just seems to happen in the exact same way every time, it’s even hard for me to get turned on these days and I just don’t know what to tell him or what to try with. I used to be very sexual and had many partners where even though we did not have an emotional connection the sex was better, I didn’t need much to be turned on, although ultimately they did not care whether I came or not, but somehow it was still enjoyable. With him, he always wants to make me happy usually this happens orally, and somehow I am starting to find it less of a turn on than I used to with the non-committal encounters. I don’t feel good about this. Any advice? I might delete this later, I’m not sure if he follows me on here too and yeah just feels bad even to write this down.

submitted by /u/GroundhogDay8001 [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v5z970/what_to_do_with_a_man_who_is_not_experimental_and/

[cedar-woods]

Expecations around scheduling sex - how do you and your partner think about it?

What is a reasonable set of expectations for each partner when scheduling sex, ie. besides the obvious that sex happens. My partner and I very recently began experimenting with scheduling and it seems that we each went into it with differing perspectives. As a result, things didn't really pan out the way that we'd expected.

For me, it was primarily about three motivations. First, for there to be built in anticipation both individually and as a couple, in the sense that there would be more mental build up, either from each of our own excitement, or from more teasing, little check-ins, sexting, etc. through the day (or longer) as opposed to more of a spontaneous quickie, which isn't as enjoyable for me. Second, it was also meant as a partial solution for a libido mismatch, which has been difficult for us, especially since sex and physical touch is a big part of how I feel connected with my partner. There is a bit more to this part but will leave it for now in the interest of brevity (already too long, lol). Third, addressing feelings of rejection, which is partially tied to #2.

Anyway, for my partner, it was really just about the second, ie. dealing with the libido mismatch and frequency of sex. It became clear that evening that my partner wasn't really in the mental head space for it to be a nice evening for us. She'd been focused on daily life things rather than either working to get herself excited and in the mood. She also wasn't able to engage in my outreach, so to speak, to help with this. As a result, she entered the evening almost as if there wasn't a plan for the night --- like her Outlook notification popped up for a meeting and she'd not done any "prep" for the meeting. Some combination of distracted, anxious, annoyed with daily life grind, etc, whereas for me, I'd been working on the mental all day so none of this was a factor.

We've been together for a long time and I can sense the mood of the room immediately, as I am sure is the case for most of us. Once we were at that point, it killed it for me as well (not into obligation sex really), which makes the entire situation even more of a bummer since I'd been working on my own expectations for like 48hrs or longer at that point.

So long story short, it really didn't work out. Is it reasonable to feel like each partner is responsible for ensuring that they are in a good-to-great head space? Or should it be the same as any other time (be it a quickie, even) despite the fact that it's scheduled?

submitted by /u/privatethoughts2021 [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v5p795/expecations_around_scheduling_sex_how_do_you_and/

[cedar-woods]

Sex Report Sunday for June 05, 2022

All right, sexy people, what have you been up to? Let’s hear all about the good, bad, funny, weird, fun, and amazing things that have happened!

submitted by /u/AutoModerator [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v55cwf/sex_report_sunday_for_june_05_2022/

[cedar-woods]

Confused and flustered in Marriage

I'm not sure if this belongs in dead bedrooms because this still happen occasionally bit less than I would prefer...

I'm a bit frustrated and could use a bit of advice on how to work things out in my marriage.

Things in general have been a bit off for years. My husband has had some drinking problems that landed him a DUI along with some baggage around that action. He's not been receptive to therapy for himself.

He expressed frustration at my lack of enthusiasm for sex during that time but it's been difficult to convey my lack of attraction to his mindset without hurting his feelings. Things have somewhat calmed down in the past few years though not completely different from where we were before.

At the time, I admit I wasn't interested much and often turned down his advances. We have a child and I do still feel some resentment for his choices at that time. I probably nagged too much about getting him to change and do what I wanted him to do etc etc etc.

Now, several years later, we're still not very close. He claims I'm never in the mood but it's really quite the opposite. I'm very eager to be intimate, but he doesn't seem to be receptive. I vary from being super straightforward, to asking prodding questions, sending photos, wearing lingerie, sharing illustrations, articles/how to's, and even sent a very nsfw story I wrote that he has yet to read in over 5 weeks. All while hes seemingly trying to convince me I'm the one holding back and denying him.

I try to snuggle, connect, talk, etc and find closeness but feel there's an app/game that's usually taking up his attention. He's confrontational when I try to bring it up and not an easy person to discuss feelings with. When I bring up complicated topics, he prefers to "think about a response" which never happens.

Our connection is so far from healed and even when I manage to snag his attention it's not lasting and I often feel pretty shitty when it's all said and done.

I'm just not sure where to go from this point. I've conveyed my feelings in about every way I know how, but I'm ND and sometimes things aren't so obvious to me as they could be.

submitted by /u/rachelrae26 [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v55on4/confused_and_flustered_in_marriage/

[cedar-woods]

What is the feeling in your brain called from clit orgasm?

I don't have this feeling from regular sex, but I always have it after an orgasm from clit stimulation (from a vibrator). I always get this intense high in my brain that last for like 2 seconds.

I would describe it as a feeling of complete ecstasy. All my life's problems are gone. All my insecurities are gone. I feel confident and joy. Similar to how people describe near death experiences - how when they are about to die and feel complete happiness and peace.

What exactly is this feeling and what is released in the brain? Does anyone else know what I'm talking about?

submitted by /u/Throwawaylam49 [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v4ybhc/what_is_the_feeling_in_your_brain_called_from/

[cedar-woods]

Orgasm without feelings for someone

Hi. I can only orgasm with people I have feelings for. I’m in a relationship atm and I adore him. We don’t have a super crazy sex life, mostly bc I’m on SSRI’s and have no libido. I’m slowly coming off of them and starting to feel “alive” down there. I really want to explore being able to orgasm without having serious feelings for someone. It’s something I was never able to “conquer”- sex, more importantly orgasms, with no strings attached. I do have a very open minded partner who has no problem with me stepping outside the relationship to figure this out. I think this issue is attached to other issues of shame/pleasure and the crazy dysfunctional family I grew up, where any type of pleasure was frowned upon and sex was “dirty”. (I was never sexually abused or anything like that, just grew up with generations of people who equated life with suffering). Am I nuts? Anyone else?

submitted by /u/Bintagegurl [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v4wznj/orgasm_without_feelings_for_someone/

[cedar-woods]

Cringing at husband's who I am madly in love with touch.

So my husband (35m) loves my (28f) body. Even after 2 kids and over 60lbs gained since we've gotten together. I logically love this. It makes me feel attractive and wanted. He can't keep his hands off me!

But often he will grope my breasts randomly and it makes me cringe. Like it makes me want to scream it feels just wrong. It is pretty much the same feeling when I had nursing aversion when I weaned my kids from breastfeeding.

Its always when we are at home or very discreetly so it's not like he's doing it in an inappropriate way that would make me uncomfortable. He's just loving his wife's body and honestly I really want to love this.

I'm totally fine with him touching my boobs during sex. In fact I love it! So this adds majorly to the confusion.

I'm sure my own body issues have some role in it, I've struggled with an eating disorder for the majority of my life and I've been in recovery for 4 years. And I've gained a lot of weight. I'm definitely more uncomfortable in my body now then I ever have been in the past.

I really really do not want to feel like this. I want so badly to love him touching me like this.

And I'm definitely not pregnant. He got snipped right after #2 was born and my cycle is very regular.

Anyone else deal with this? Would sure love some advice on how to work through this and be able to enjoy my husband's touch again!

submitted by /u/mamatomymonkies [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v4m3g6/cringing_at_husbands_who_i_am_madly_in_love_with/

[cedar-woods]

Weekly Simple Questions Thread for Jun 04 - Jun 10, 2022

Every week, we offer this thread as a way for people to ask simple/basic questions from the sub’s readership.

Post topics that typically are removed from the main feed – polling-style questions, common topics questions, etc. – are generally allowed in here. Story posts however do not belong here.

The thread stays pinned throughout the week for people’s convenience. Ask away!

submitted by /u/ShaktiAmarantha [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v4gn0j/weekly_simple_questions_thread_for_jun_04_jun_10/

[cedar-woods]

Any advice how to surprise my bf with lingerie for the first time?

I’ve been with this guy since Feb and he’s amazing and the sex is incredible. It was like learning to have sex all over but together and it’s our thing, idk how to explain it haha. The chemistry is there and he loves being affectionate, touching me all over, and finds me very attractive. This is not a flex just stating we’re comfortable with sex and experimenting and everything is going well. His birthday is coming up and I did a cool boudoir session on Polaroids as we both enjoy shooting different types of film. From the session I have plenty of lingerie but never actually worn any in front of him. I really want to surprise him with being in lingerie after I give him the photos. This part is where I am clueless and nervous! Like what do I do, just go into the bathroom change and walk back in? Then what? Lol. Like any help or suggestions. It’s always been the reappearing in it that stopped me from trying to wear lingerie for guys. I really am excited but feeling a little awkward because I’d probably just walk in and laugh. Thank you!

submitted by /u/Bohokitty [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v345rj/any_advice_how_to_surprise_my_bf_with_lingerie/

[cedar-woods]

How to Orgasm in Doggy Style

Hi Everyone,

Longtime lurker, first time posting. I hope I'm following all the rules.

I'm f(40) and am with my partner m(41) around 6 months and we are madly in love and having amazing sex! I have my orgasm down to a tee, don't come from oral (although he loves giving) but I usually come from my hand in minutes , but only when I'm on my back and my legs are straight, which means it's hard to come while we're having PIV sex.

The other day we were having really really hot sex both on our knees with him behind and it was so hot and I was really turned on and rubbing my clit like I usually do but I just couldn't come in that position. It was so frustrating. We turned around after a while and I came in my normal position but it just feels very limiting.

Does anyone else have this problem and what can I do about it?

I have tried a couple of basic vibrators but they just seem to make my clit numb and if and when they do make me come, which is not always, it's very muted and not powerful like it is when I use my hand.

Would love any and all advice.

Thanks in advance!

submitted by /u/LooseMulberry4894 [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v2qa9f/how_to_orgasm_in_doggy_style/

[cedar-woods]

Is a satisfying sex life possible after a hysterectomy?

Are you able to have rough sex after healing fully? If so, how long did it take to get to that point? Are there any positions you find uncomfortable or have to avoid now? Did you ever get over the fear of the cuff tearing? Did you have any complications? Are orgasms still satisfying?

For context: I am 34 and am having to choose between an ablation and LEEP or a total hysterectomy (removing uterus and cervix, leaving one ovary) to stop my 14+ day long periods. I recently had a laparoscopic surgery for endometriosis and removed one ovary at that time. I also had a D&C to try to help with my long periods, but those have returned just 3 months post op, so now we're moving on to more drastic measures. All imaging is normal and the pathology from the D&C was benign with just minor polyps, so basically we don't know what the cause is, but birth control always makes it worse.

My husband and I are both just so over dealing with this and leaning toward the hysterectomy since there is a chance the ablation won't work either, but I want to make a fully informed decision. I just want a normal sex life back without worrying about pain or bleeding!

Thank you.

submitted by /u/hortonwearsawho [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v2glm4/is_a_satisfying_sex_life_possible_after_a/

[cedar-woods]

Shorter refractory period possible?

36m here. I’ve noticed that the day after sex it takes me a bit longer to get going and as someone trying to have a kid I know how important it is to maximize how much sex you can have during the ovulation window.

I’ll admit I’m overweight and have recently started working out.

What can I do to improve our chances and shorten my “refractory period”?

submitted by /u/letmesee1 [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/v2bvav/shorter_refractory_period_possible/