cedarsaga

[cedarsaga]

⚔️ 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Flail of Slime
Weapon (flail), uncommon ___ The head of this flail is held attached to its handle by an elastic band of ooze. When you make a melee attack with this magic weapon for the first time on your turn, your reach for it is 10 feet greater than normal. In addition, when you roll an 8 on the weapon’s damage die against a Large or smaller target, the target is also moved up to 10 feet in any direction of your choice, as long as it isn’t away from you. ___ ✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon’s Saddlebag on Patreon for as little as $3 a month!

[cedarsaga]

[cedarsaga]

cooking with trauma

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one william dollars isnt even that much money anymore due to the flation

[cedarsaga]

do u think anyone has ever successfully slipped an amen break into a hypno audio

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I love being friends with prostitutes and transsexuals and artists and drug dealers and perverts and queers

[cedarsaga]

recently my plug has offered free weed for:

bunch of ice

mw2 double xp tokens

[cedarsaga]

oh by the way, in Danish, "fag" means "subject" and "slut" means "end" so on library shelves you will see "fag slut" to note where the break in book topics is

pronounced fay' sloot

[cedarsaga]

when exactly is uptown funk gon give it to me?

[cedarsaga]

Things that leveled me up as a Dyke Pt. 2

When I had dyke sex in the parking lot of the fire and brimstone church I grew up in

When a girl drew protective sigils on my arm for weeks after she overheard me tearing apart her old roommate for saying transphobic shit about her

When the sleep study doctor told me I have a medically large tongue and my wife shouted "I KNEW IT"

When the butch at the hardware store told me the shelf cutting machine broke and we spent 20min cutting shelves with bolt cutters for my wife's closet.

At the RenFaire, my wife tried the knife throwing but couldn't get it, then got huffy when I told her how to do it. She handed me the last knife and told me it's not that easy. I did not tell her I threw knives a lot as a kid, so with all her bags and jewelry balanced in one arm, I flipped the knife a couple times and sunk it into the wooden target guy. Felt like a damn hallmark movie and I loved it.

When an Aussie woman in a hotel lobby asked me to please please keep talking because she was fascinated by my american southern accent. I called her darlin and she blushed.

When my wife's grandfather was fine with her being a lesbian largely because I was such a big help with the cattle

When I moved an iron bedframe into the garden for my wife's coworker and she asked how long we'd been together. The answer was that morning. We'd been going steady for about an hour.

When I taught my wife how to waltz

[cedarsaga]

somatic symptoms of anxiety are so fucked. what do you mean I got so scared my body decided that it needed to add nausea and headache and dizzy to the situation. how is it helping

[cedarsaga]

One should never leave a tummy unjiggled

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adventuring is fucking stupid anyway.

[cedarsaga]

me when im so sweet and beautiful

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body paintings by anahitacreates

[cedarsaga]

[cedarsaga]

just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff