ceeptsd - Tumblr blog

ceeptsd · 7 hours

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i dont even know what to do or how to feel. i feel like crying. i don’t know if i should.

#.txt #im not crying my face is just wet from the shower

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ceeptsd · 3 days

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im going to lose my mind!!!!

#.txt #i keep hallucinating that the bed is moving #and it sounds like they’re talking #and i hate it!!!#like shut the fuck up i want to sleep!!!

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ceeptsd · 8 days

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will i always be this angry?

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ceeptsd · 9 days

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update my tumblr app froze and i started crying

im gonna mcfucking lose it i can’t sleep im so overstimmed and overwhelmed and i honestly want to die rn

#kill me!!!!#.txt

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ceeptsd · 9 days

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im gonna mcfucking lose it i can’t sleep im so overstimmed and overwhelmed and i honestly want to die rn

#.txt #ill be fine #but fuck #i am not handling things well rn

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ceeptsd · 29 days

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i acknowledged a memory in therapy that i didnt know about until just fuckin now and i feel. idk. im trying so hard to remain present but its so quiet in this waiting room and im uncomfortable.

#.txt #dont fucking talk to me right now

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ceeptsd · 1 month

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im so tired and i feel like a shell of a person right now i dont even know how to describe it

#.txt #this world sucks #and no one cares

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ceeptsd · 1 month

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i watched so much nickelodeon and honestly to see now how much of it was pedo bait and knowing the horrors the kids were going through its. its so hard. so much of my life has been tainted by sexual abuse and even the things i used as an escape are ruined now and idk.

#.txt #its been a rough week

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ceeptsd · 1 month

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i feel so upset!! idk why!!! i just feel so upset and angry ugh

#.txt #i was having such a good day yesterday #and now i am angry #why do they try not to win #that makes me feel so fucking stupid #i only win when they let me?#i feel like a fucking child #you’re better than me at like everything and its fine #i know my brain is slow #i know im not as smart #theres a reason i never win at brain age lmao #or any other brain game #im fucking stupid #not educated #and i’ve been trying #but i’m playing catch up #ugh

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ceeptsd · 1 month

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ceeptsd · 2 months

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i feel so. idk. im stuck in a headspace that i dont wanna be in because its not the time and i dont want to push power dynamics we JUST talked about how we’re not gonna do that

#.txt #i feel so fuzzy #i dont want to use my brain #but then theres the side of me that feels absolutely fucking disgusting #because i fee ashamed of wanting that dynamic #whatever that looks like for us #but i want them to tel me im theirs #that i belong to them #i want idk #ignore me im just being a whore lol

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ceeptsd · 2 months

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i think i am fundamentally unattractive and hideous actually

#there has to be a reason #that no matter what relationship im in #i have to beg for attention #or start the conversation about it #there has to #i dont know what else it could be #im just #so unbelievably repulsive #that no one looks at me #and thinks im attractive #or sexy #.txt

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ceeptsd · 2 months

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im fine im just tired and havent hardly slept in three days now

#and im feeling severely neglected #but thats besides the point #.txt

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ceeptsd · 2 months

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i wish i was as important as you say i am

#but im not #im nothing #not worth thinking of #.txt

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ceeptsd · 2 months

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i so desperately want someone to initiate touch and attention without me hinting at it first or straight up asking for it. i want someone to want me and ask for me.

#.txt #i just want to be wanted #i feel like i shouldnt need to beg for attention #i shouldnt need to initiate every touch

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ceeptsd · 2 months

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i feel ✨awful✨ and i want to die 😘

#.txt #idk #ugh #im so!!!!!#idk im fine #everything is fine #i dont need anything

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ceeptsd · 2 months

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healing is taking too long what if i just kill myself

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