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celebratethemundane · 7 years

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This is an opera in three acts. This is a work about perception. There is no image on the screen just yet. It isn't about the perception of small facts. It isn't about the physiology of perception. It's about the perception of self. It's about the meaning of truth. The definition of fact. This is an opera in three acts. Or it's a kind of opera and about three acts. This is a work about being done to. This is work about learning how to think. This is an opera in three acts. The first act is in real time and ends in a montage. Act II is symbolic. What is the same, what is different. What is outside, what is inside. Like man is chicken, only here we deal with eggs. Act III is tragic, horrific, mythic. It is a documentary record, it's about scrutiny on a mass level. About what has been and what could be. I needn't remind you about processing and mass extermination, you remember about the scientific study of human beings. This is a work about coercion. Coercion can be quick and brutal. That is the worst crime. Coercion can also extend over the whole of life. That's the ordinary, the usual crime. Bureaucratic crime can be brutal or merely devastating. We need not make a choice. Sartre says: "Evil demands only the systematic substitution of the abstract for the concrete, that is, it demands only the derealization of the fully human status of the people on whom you carry out your ideas and plans.”

Statistics. For an institution to be evil it need not be run by Hitler. As Stephen Curtis observed: "it need only be run by heartless people, sometimes called intellectuals or scientists". In the name of responsibility, native peoples have been colonized and enslaved. The lives of women, children were turned into subjects people regulated in every degree, for their own good. This is a work about the tyranny of expectation.

- Your sex? - Female. - Age? - 33. - Race? - Caucasian. - Ethnic background? - Austrian and Russian. - Ok, could you remove your shoes, please? And stand against the wall.

She is being told how to think, what to think, the nature of action. She is being instructed in what to feel.

- Up on the board, please.

This is a lesson in sinking or swimming, in which sinking and swimming have a lot in common. Her body grows accustomed to certain prescribed poses, certain characteristic gestures, certain constraints and pressures of clothing. Her mind learns to think of her body as something different from herself. It learns to think, perhaps without awareness, of her body as having parts. These parts are to be judged. The self has already learned to attach value to itself, to see itself as a whole entity with an external vision. She sees herself from outside, with the anxious eyes of the judged, who has within her the critical standards of the ones who judge. I needn't remind you about scrutiny, about the scientific study of human beings. Visions of the self. About the excruciating look at the self from outside, as though we're a thing divorced from the inner self. How one learns to manufacture oneself as a product? How one learns to see oneself as a being in a state of culture, as opposed to a being in a state of nature? How to measure oneself by the degree of artifice? The remanufacture of the look of the external self to simulate an idealized version of the natural.

- Reach up again.

How anxiety is built into these looks? How ambiguity, ambivalence, uncertainty are meant to accompany every attempt to see ourselves, to see herself as others see her. This is a work about how to think about yourself. It is a work about how she is supposed to think about herself. How she learns to scrutinize herself, to see herself as a map, a terrain, a product, constantly recreating itself, inch by inch. Groomed, manufactured, programmed, reprogrammed, controlled. A serval mechanism in which one learns to utilize every possible method of feedback to reassert control. Read from a work on cybernetics serval mechanisms. Read from a work on self-abuse. Read a list on items for the true self. A list of gifts for the wedding guests to choose from. Read from a list of dos and don'ts. Read from a list of glamorous makeovers. Read from a list of what men do and what women do.

- Shoulder spam is 15.

Read from a list of girls' toys and boys' toys. Read from a list of average incomes of men and of women. Read from a book of resignations and defeats. Read from a manual on revolutionary society.

- Shoulder to waist is 15. - Foot length is 9 and 3/8. - Get up on your toes, please. - Extend your neck. Ok... head on tiptoes height, 67 and 1/4. - Stand on your tiptoes, put your hands, relaxed, at your sides. - Ok, on tiptoes to fingertip height, 29 and 3/4. - Stretch your arms out, please. - Arms' spam with arms extended, 64 inches. - Middle finger length 3 and 3/8. - Take off your socks, please. - Toe, 1 and 3/4. - Hair length, 23 inches.

There is a boy, whom we shall call Tommy Smith. In nursery school, he was a top member of his class. A happy, normal, healthy, highly intelligent youngster. But as he approached the age of 5, the records began to show a flattening of his growth curve. He lost weight and stopped gaining in height. The staff nutritionist calling at his home for a checkup found that the boy's appetite had fallen off sharply, he was not eating enough – particularly, not enough milk – and the result was a shortage in his intake of proteins and minerals. Actually, the whole staff, for some time, had been noticing symptoms of retardation in this apparently healthy boy. The psychologists had reported that Tommy had regressed in mind, as well as in body. His IQ rating had dropped. He seemed tense, anxious, uncertain. His inner strains were reflected in his responses to the Rorschach ink spot test, the Thematic Apperception Test, and other psychological techniques. A clue to his trouble was disclosed by one of these techniques: doll playing. Three dolls, representing a man, a woman and a small boy, were placed on the floor, together with an assortment of doll furniture and other household accessories. Tommy proceeded to play house, and in his play he set the mother doll off to the office, put the father doll in the kitchen getting the next meal and wondered aloud wether the little boy doll would grow up into a man. Maybe, he speculated, the boy would become a woman and go off to the office, like mama. Here was the anxiety that underlay Tommy's loss of interest in food, his interrupted growth and his lapses in IQ. It turned out that the doll drama reenacted his actual home situation. Tommy's mother had a job, which kept her away from home from early morning until late afternoon. The father, whose business hours were not exact, did many of the housekeeping chores, fed and dressed the boy and took him to and from school. Because the mother frequently came home exhausted, the father often put the child to bed. It was all very confusing to Tommy. He was at the stage in which a normal boy wants to identify himself with the male figure but his family set-up was such that he was not certain what the figures stood for and, anyway, he was not sure that he wanted to be that kind of man. It was all very confusing to Tommy. He was at a stage in which a normal boy wants to identify himself with the male figure but his family set-up was such that he was not certain what the figures stood for and, anyway, he was not sure that he wanted to be that kind of man. The Child Research Counsel is not a clinic, it does not treat diseases or disorders, but when symptoms come to light in the course of its research it calls them to the attention of the parents and the family physician. In this case, the parents finally recognized that their son's disturbance stemmed from themselves. In this case, the parents finally recognized that their son's disturbance stemmed from themselves and they immediately made adjustments, correct [...]. The mother went on half time at her business and made it her main job to love and care for Tommy [...] went on half time at her business and made it her main job to love and care for Tommy. The father relinquished many of his mothering services. The father relinquished many of his mothering services. Within a few months after this real [...] Tommy was a much happier and better adjusted boy. He was eating so voraciously that the family doctor had to advice cutting down on his carbohydrates. His height and weight resumed their growth and again he stood head and shoulders above his classmates [...] budgets test.

- The abdominal [...] standard. - Will you remove your pants, please. - Abdominal extension height is 38 and 1/2 inches. It's above standard. [whistle] - Can you remove those pants too, please. - Hip girth is 36 and 3/4 inches. Bellow standard. [horn] - Hip height is 34 and 1/2. Above standard. [whistle] - Mid-tight girth is 19 inches. Standard. [bells] - Put your hands to your side. Total crouch length is 24 inches. It’s bellow standard. [horn] - [inaudible] - The vertical trunk is 16 inches. Standard. [bells] - Crouch height to floor is 30 and 1/4 inches. It's above standard. [whistle] - Knee girth is 14 inches. Standard. [bells] - Ankle girth is 9 and 1/4. It's standard. [bells] - Step down, misses, will you? - Please, be sited. - Stretch your legs out a little bit. - Sitting spread girth is 36 and 1/2 inches. This is bellow standard. [horn] - Straight. - Sitting height erect is 34 inches. Standard. [bells] - Just relax. - Sitting height normal is 32 and 3/4 inches. That is standard. [bells]

Her mind learns to think of her body as something different from herself. It learns to think, perhaps without awareness, of her body as having parts. These parts are to be judged. The self has already learned to attach value to itself, to see itself as a whole entity with an external vision. She sees herself from outside, with the anxious eyes of the judged, who holds within her mind the critical standards of the ones who judge. She knows the boundaries of her body, she does not know the boundaries of herself. She's been carefully trained in a mechanical narcissism that it is a sign of madness or deviance to be without. Her body grows accustomed to certain prescribed poses, certain characteristic gestures, certain constraints and pressures of clothing.

- Just relax. Ok. - Vaginal depth relaxed is 6 inches. That’s standard. [bells] - Ok, would you get up a moment? Get over here, lie down with your head [inaudible]. - Feet all the way down. [inaudible] Arms on the floor. Point your toes up. - Toe height, 9 inches. - Hip height, 7 inches. - Move your arm out a little. Breast height, 7 and 1/4 inches. - Head height, 8 inches. - Can you, please, stand up. Step over the scale, please. - Weight’s 119 pounds. Standard is 124 and 3/4. Bellow standard. [horn]

To lick one's lips to make them wet, to cross or uncross one's feet or legs. To sit forward or back, upright or compressed. To think of sitting as disposing one's limbs. To keep thighs and knees pressed together. To tighten the muscles of the stomach. To cast the eyes down. Not to look too often into the eyes of the other. Not to glance sideways. To keep the brow smooth. To smile. To refrain from moving the mouth unnecessarily. To keep hands together. To keep hands in the lap. To keep the hands at the sides. Not to let them dangle. To check stray hairs of the head. To tighten or untighten the muscles of the scalp. To remember the line of the neck. To pluck stray hairs. To draw on one's face. To add paint on top of flesh, a liquid mixture of thin mud, colored material, grease, tar derivatives and other unknown artificial and derived substances. To add colored powder. To learn what is called the color of flesh. To see one’s features from up close. To regard them as invisible, as in a raw state, until outlined or painted over. To see some hairs as important and needed and others as bad, unwanted. To approximate an ideal. To add black paint to the eyelashes, to the eyebrows. To think of changing the color and shape of one’s hair. To judge the body, always finding it faulty. To separate the idea of ‘tight’ and give it meaning. To need to be less or to need to be more. To have more appealing flesh. To see the body as a vehicle for the attainment of an imposed desire. To want things. To have to get them. To see one’s parts as tools, as armament to be deployed strategically for the purpose of attaining things. The mind has learned to thirst for a private self, to suppress the desire and fail to acknowledge the thirst. To welcome the rest but provided by the privatized domestic space. But even here she is not immune from judgment. The total woman remembers to bathe every day. To manage her image in such a way that her personality disappears and her ability to absorb and to be projected upon, to present herself for dilatation [?] substitutes for private desires of the self as self, in which masochism is the definition of fulfillment. They say women are masochists by nature, what is nature? I say masochism is a crime against women.

To accept the idea that one takes one’s place in a list of statistics. To accept the idea that there is meaning in measurement. To accept the idea that there is something to be learned about the self from measurement. Do you believe in Tommy Smith? What is the effect of negative expectation on intelligence? On performance? What is the effect of negative expectation on women’s intelligence? On performance? On growth? Scientists who measure are not innocent. Scientific human measurements have been used to education. To keep certain races and nationalities out of America. To keep women subordinate. To keep women in their place. Often the people who invented both the idea of testing and the test themselves, the ones who declare the test significant are some believers in the genetic superiority of their own group, in the superiority of men over women. Testing to maintain social control. Sir Francis Colton, Lewis Terman, Henry H. Goddard, Edward L. Thorndike, Cesare Lombroso, Paul Popenoe of the genetically inclined Human Betterment Foundation, HH Loughlin of the Carnegie Foundation, Carlton Koonz [?], Arthur B. Jenson [?], William Shockley [?]. Many of these men are pioneers in the testing movement or on record testifying to the racial superiority of white Nordic males, to their natural superiority over people of all other races and, of course, over women. […] The need for testing to keep control over society. To the fact that class differences reflect differences in native ability. To the fact that sex differences determine differences in native ability. To the absolute need to train people to fit their proper place. To accept the idea that one takes one's place in a list of statistics. To accept the idea that there is meaning in measurement. To accept the idea that there is something to be learned about the self from measurement. Do you believe in Tommy Smith as reported by George W. Gray in Scientific American? Here the meaning of human life remanufactured by those dedicated to the so-called scientific understanding human life. What is science? Science is a tool that amounts to the engineering of life by bureaucrats, or worse. Those who invent measurement are not innocent.

We continue with Tommy Smith as written up by George W. Gray in Scientific American in 1967. This is not an unusual case he reports. He goes on to quote Dr. Gene Deming, a pediatrician specializing in biometrics: “We're all familiar with the fact that in junior high school the typical girl is much larger and more grown up than the typical boy the same age. She's not interested in dates with these small boys, she wants to go with older boys. It is interesting also to see how the curve follows the personality pattern. The growth of a feminine type of boy with a soft rounded body and a greater interest in dolls than in baseball, for example, usually follows the typical girl's pattern. Similarly, girls of the tomboy type usually have a growth pattern conforming to that of boys.”

The absolute need to accustom people to fit their proper place. To take an example, only one example – Lewis Terman, one of the fathers of the testing movement, wrote: “In Germany, there is the rather anomalous problem of an educated proletariat. Thousands of graduates from the classical Gymnasien, which, for the most part, ignore the problems of real life, find themselves misfits in the industrial and political world and drift about discontentedly until finally they contribute to swell the now formidable army of German socialists. But in this country our more practical sense has brought it about that few of our secondary schools dish out the formal studies to all indiscriminately. The result is that our high-school graduate more frequently finds a place in the world where he can expend his energies, not only to his own profit, but to the advantage of society as well.” The absolute need to accustom people to fit their proper place. Terman also wrote: “It cannot be disputed that, in the long run, it is the races which excel on abstract thinking that eat while others starve, survive epidemics, master new continents, conquer time and space and substitute religion for magic, science for taboos and justice for revenge. The races which excel in conceptual thinking could, if they wished, quickly exterminate or enslave all the races notably their inferiors in this respect.” The absolute need to accustom people – women, blacks, Orientals, those supposedly inferiors in abstract thinking – to fit their proper place. To accept the idea that one takes one's place in a list of statistics. To accept the idea that there is meaning in measurement. To accept the idea that there is something to be learned about the self from measurement. The absolute need to accustom people to take their proper place. The absolute need to accustom people to fit their proper place.

Femicide, femicide, femicide, femicide, femicide, crimes against women, cliterodectomy, rape, cliterodectomy, brutalization, pornography, sterilization, forced motherhood, outlawed abortion, illegal abortion, woman battering, assault, insult, loathing, derogation, victimization, depredation, deprivation, femicide, femicide, crimes against women, bound feet, bound bodies, bound images, bound feet, bound bodies, bound images, purdah, immolation, sati, starvation, infibulation, servitude, domestic servitude, forced labor, unpaid labor, chattelization, prostitution, objectification, slavery, domestic slavery, wage slavery, madness, madness, psychological assault, psychological brutality, childbirth torture, enforced docility, branding, abuse, beating, scorn, deviceveness, fear, femicide, murder, threats, warnings, cliterodectomy, rape, electric chock, tranquilization, enforced passivity, fetichization, pornography, depredation, deprivation, femicide, crimes against women, bound feet, bound bodies, bound images, purdah, immolation, sati, starvation, infibulation, servitude, domestic servitude, forced labor, unpaid labor, chattelization, prostitution, objectification, slavery, domestic slavery, wage slavery, madness, psychological assault, psychological brutality, childbirth torture, forced motherhood, illegal abortion, enforced docility, job discrimination, discrimination, branding, abuse, shame, scorn, deviceveness, fear, threats, warnings, pornography, sterilization, rape, brutalization, cliterodectomy, murder, fear, deviceveness, sterilization, forced motherhood, illegal abortion, woman battering, assault, insult, torture, loathing, derogation, victimization, depredation, deprivation, femicide, femicide, crimes against women, bound feet, bound bodies, bound images, starvation, purdah, immolation, servitude, infibulation, sati, domestic servitude, forced labor, unpaid labor, chattelization, prostitution, objectification, slavery, domestic slavery, wage slavery, madness, psychological assault, psychological brutality, childbirth torture, enforced docility. (Transcripition by Letícia Cobra Lima)

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celebratethemundane · 10 years

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Ten Women I Have Been Warned Against Becoming: 1. The Girl Who Takes Up Too Much Space, always, her shoulders too wide in stairwells, her hips too big in doorways, her voice too loud in classes. This woman does not understand the art of crumbling, of curling herself tight like the spiral of a fern, soft, delicate, unwilling to reach out the ivy of her fingers to grasp onto what should rightfully be hers. This is a beast, an elephant, a moving mountain and she is capable of flattening you, she is capable of ruining you, she is capable of making you feel as small and insignificant in her life as she is supposed to be. You are this woman’s footnote to history, you are her side note in song lyrics, you are constantly interrupted by her with a witty joke you wish you thought of. I asked what the problem was with being a steamroller instead of a sunflower and I was laughed down. 2. The Beautiful One, the long hair or the slim waist or the pretty eyes or the lips like bowstrings. This woman looks good in everything because she’s confident in whatever you put her in. She’ll cut her hair short on you no matter how you like it, she’ll wear high heels and step on your opinions, she’ll look hot as hell no matter what size she is. See, the reason you can’t trust her is because women like this don’t need your permission, they’ll do as they please and get away with it. They’ll say no to you, over and over. Teach your daughters that beautiful means dangerous, teach them to distrust women who love themselves. Equate beautiful with vapid, equate pretty with stupid, take their power from them. Say they’re vain for their makeup, refuse to see them without it. These women are snakes, they are serpents. I said maybe the problem lies with you being unable to control yourself and was told to get off my pedestal. 3. A Bitch. Women are supposed to be ladies in the street but will tear skin under sheets. I’m told: Never raise your voice. Speak gently. Submit. Hold your opinion against your lips and when you admit to it, make sure it comes out as a butterfly wing suggestion. Don’t disagree. Don’t undermine someone else’s authority, regardless of whether or not they deserve your respect. Someone touches you, just move away from them. Don’t hit. Don’t talk back. Be like the ruins of Rome, only beautiful if you can’t hear your quiet death. 4. The Needy One. I have heard how others spit when they talk about how she gave you everything and you shoved it back down her throat until she choked on it, until she came back crawling and asked you what she did, until her palms and knees were scraped for want of just a little affection - never be this woman, I’m told, because she’s a joke and the joke is that she dared to have more emotion than you did. The truth is, I’m told, the one who cares less in a partnership is the one who wins. I didn’t know this was a competition. 5. The Cock Tease, certified stripper, how dare that girl look like that and not want me to sleep with her. Lust is always personified as a lady in red with a dress slit up her thigh. Lust is sinful because it’s power, it’s not asking for attention - it’s demanding it. I’m told she is the worst kind of woman, that looking good is supposed to be some kind of shame on her kin. I’m told not to leave the house in such a short skirt, not with a shirt so low, not with a lace back, not with high heels, not dressed like that. My lipstick can’t be too red, my hair can’t be too mussed, I can’t just “turn someone on like that and then leave them wanting.” I mentioned that instant gratification actually ruins our psyche and was told that being led on was “exhausting.” I said that there was a difference between purposefully tricking someone into liking you and just being attractive or friendly. I was told there’s also a difference between coffee and tea but both result in caffeine. I said, “I’ve been turned on in class by the girls I talk to but I didn’t expect anything from them,” and they said, “It’s different, you’re not a man,” but couldn’t explain where that difference was. 6. A Slut, obviously ruined by another person’s touch. It doesn’t matter how many people she’s actually been with, it’s all about the rumors she carries with her. Easy. Harlot. You’ll still try to get with her, you’ll still take her into your bed and kiss her and say things you don’t mean - but you’ll defame her name when you talk to your buddies. My father used to say “A slut is fine for the night, but the virgin is who you take home and marry.” Maybe he didn’t know he was teaching his daughter to hate her sexuality. Maybe he didn’t know that every time she’d be kissed, her whole system would shake until she felt ready to combust, shame and self-hatred shivering against her spine. Maybe he didn’t know she’d disconnect emotions and sex because he always told her, “Boys are different, they won’t care about you.” Nobody said to her that it was okay to experiment. See, the funny thing is, I’m a dancer so I know exactly where my center of gravity is. I know how hard I’ll fall in each direction. Yet out of fear of getting hurt, I won’t let a single person inside of my bed. 7. The Soulmate. Never love romance more than you love being cynical. Never show weakness, never like pink, never think maybe you might find someone nice and settle down with them. Someone will find you, I was told, And if you’re lucky, he’ll put up with you when you start getting old. Never be the woman who believes in happily ever after, never be dumb enough to think maybe someone could love you after all of your mistakes. It has nothing to do with whether or not a family is important to you and you’re in a good place where a relationship would make your life better - you’re not a princess. You don’t get married, you settle. 8. The Girl With Strength, who can outrun everyone and who is stronger than her boyfriend. “See the thing about boys,” says my daddy, “Is that you have to let them win.” I sat at home and read stories about Artemis and wanted to become the huntress, too. I wanted to howl at the moon, I wanted to slay the beasts that bested me, I wanted to rule my kingdom with bloody fists. But girls are never athletes, never supposed to be “built,” regardless of the fact civilizations were constructed on our spines and we made homes in war by the steel of our ribs. Never be strong. We are supposed to wilt. 9. The Lady CEO: because if you choose work over family, are you really a girl? How dare you fight your way to the top through every pair of eyes that bore through your blouse, through every meeting where you were hushed by the sound of someone else talking, through every time someone called you “sweetie,” how dare you yearn for something. Is your husband the stay-at-home one? I can’t imagine how that is going. He’s not a real man, after all. I don’t give it long before the divorce. How dare you decide you’re happy being single. Don’t you know you’re supposed to bear children. Where is your honor? Where is your wisdom? Who cares if you are the leader, the best suited for your position, the quickest-thinking, the one who makes the hardest clients come back again. Don’t you see? Across history, women have been terrible at success. They always lose their man in the end. (When I said, “I would rather be a famous author than a mediocre mother,” I was told, “No, don’t worry, you’ll be a fine mommy.”) 10. THE GIRL I AM: FIRECRACKER AND DON’T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT I’LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND I WON’T FUCKING REGRET IT I’M NOT YOUR PRETTY GIRL I’M NOT YOUR ANYTHING I’M PERFECT, MOTHERFUCKER, AND I’M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP WHAT I’M DOING. I DON’T WANT TO BE “LADYLIKE” THAT LITERALLY MEANS NOTHING I’M NOT GOING TO STOP STANDING UP AND DEMANDING WHAT’S COMING TO ME. I’M GONNA BE SOMEBODY. I’M GONNA MAKE THEM REMEMBER ME. I REFUSE TO BE OVERSHADOWED IN HISTORY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO CREATE BUT YOU MADE ME A DRAGON YOU PUT ME IN THE FIRE AND WHEN I STOPPED BURNING I LEARNED HOW TO GLOW DON’T THINK YOU CAN STOP ME YOU CAN’T TAME A TORNADO.

In respectful response to a poem tilted, “Ten men women have warned me against becoming." /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

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