celeryw

[celeryw]

me and gf were making out and i slipped my hand into her waistband for a second and burst into uncontrollable laughter because this fucking tweet appeared in my head like a message from god

[celeryw]

you are all very beautiful but i will not enter the United States

[celeryw]

“The Pyramid Guy from the opening credits literally has no significance to the show and never will. He’s just a generic image made to look mythological or spooky like most things in the intro.”

[celeryw]

fuck me all my friends have jobs which means they have no time to play toys with me and its fuycking ruining my life

[celeryw]

You know for the first 18-ish years of your life everyone your age is mostly doing the same things and then all of a sudden every year for the rest of your life somebody your age is getting divorced while somebody else just learned what a leaf is and you have no idea what’s going on or what you’re supposed to be doing

[celeryw]

[celeryw]

[celeryw]

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.

[celeryw]

(gesturing towards your little sister) you know that thing would eat you if you died, right?

[celeryw]

if you spend enough time in spaces that love and celebrate trans and intersex bodies,

the tendency of everyone (even in “progressive” or “Left” or “body positive” spaces) to invoke the small penis as supposedly self-evidently signifying poor morals, incompetence, and undesirability

will start to stand out more and more as the fashy talking point it is.

a small penis? like hard fat tdick? like soft feminine estrogenized girl dick? like a clit/penis that doesn’t penetrate and so is easiest to pleasure in ways outside the specific kind of sex enforced on the world by the church?

like a shaft that’s a size eugenicist doctors are so invested in hiding the existence of (because heaven forbid people realize sex is a social construct) that they forcibly operate on infants?

that’s the body part you’re invoking as a negative symbol? what are your politics again?

[celeryw]

"exercise will give you more energy" gets said a lot as a common piece of health advice but I think it needs to be expanded into "exercising will make you tired while you do it, and you will continue to be tired immediately afterwards, sometimes even the next day too, but over months of consistent exercise, your muscles will get stronger and therefore get less tired out by everyday activities, making you feel like day-to-day life takes less physical energy than it used to"

[celeryw]

if shes your girl then why am I in her uncles dms lowballing his ebay listings

[celeryw]

I love having friends who reject diet culture. I love going out when everyone buys food and drinks that they enjoy. I love people who will pipe up and suggest we stop for a snack or grab a meal. I love ordering what I want and no one making comments other than how good it looks (and maybe asking to steal a bite off my plate). I love revelling in how full we are after a good meal and taking a break to appreciate how fortunate we are. I love sharing snack from our bags with one another. I love enjoying the pleasure of food and drinks and good company.

[celeryw]

you may think it’s no big deal but every sweet interaction is actually the most important thing in the world. sooo. take that

[celeryw]

Alright kids say it with me

My thoughts don’t make me a bad person

My feelings don’t make me a bad person

My thoughts, feelings, and impulses only exist inside my head, and none of it matters unless I act on it

Nobody can see my thoughts or emotions

The only things anyone can see and judge me on are my actions

There’s no such thing as a thought crime

thank u

[celeryw]

[celeryw]