celestialsyndicate

[celestialsyndicate]

the first rule of being on the internet is you should have other stuff going on, besides being on the internet

[celestialsyndicate]

"Whats your favorite memory?" questions are such bullshit I literally don't remember that shit it just occasionally comes to me in divine flashes and leaves indefinitely

[celestialsyndicate]

hope is a skill

[celestialsyndicate]

Hi. Things are bleak, I know that. I know that we paid for Trump's last term with blood and it is likely the price will be blood again.

But listen to me. LISTEN.

You do not have to force yourself to witness horrors as an act of activism. It is not a form of activism. You can put your phone down, you can block that horrific video. We cannot win if you cannot fight and you will not be able to fight if you are hopeless.

Do not let them guilt you into this. People who are exhausted are easier to walk over. Take care of yourself, find community where you find joy.

[celestialsyndicate]

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

[celestialsyndicate]

i don't know what else to tell you except to be brave and to be kind. take it day by day. go outside and watch the clouds paint the sky. call a friend.

we are still here, and furious. you are still here, and that matters. you can still do and make and be something important. i promise. stay alive. it matters, and you matter. i know it is easy to succumb to anxiety and exhaustion and defeat.

communities can start with tiny ideas. google "dnd meeting near me" or whatever your interest might be. google "volunteering near me." google "support groups near me." start journalling. start a discord. start a book club.

when you close your eyes and hear hamlet, answer his prayer: it's better still to be.

[celestialsyndicate]

so. bad news. we have to keep going tomorrow. good news is that I’ll keep going with you

[celestialsyndicate]

you know what? Fuck you. *turns your strong and stoic and serious character into a crying, traumatized, whimpering, curled up mess in the floor*

[celestialsyndicate]

Did you guys know there's nothing inherently wrong with selfish thoughts and desires and there's no such thing as thought crimes or thought sins and a balanced amount of selfishness is healthy and adaptive for living things to have and it's fine to act selfishly as long as you don't harm others

[celestialsyndicate]

Something really not talked about with trauma disorders is the paranoia.

Being scared and jumping to conclusions when people stand a little too close to you, not believing people’s compliments and thinking they have hidden motives, not believing when people tell you they like/love you, thinking that strangers you see on the street want to hurt you, etc.

[celestialsyndicate]

Just so we’re all clear, it is okay to miss people you no longer want in your life.

[celestialsyndicate]

“But here’s a little secret for you: no one is ever the same thing again after anything. You are never the same twice, and much of your unhappiness comes from trying to pretend that you are. Accept that you are different each day, and do so joyfully, recognizing it for the gift it is. Work within the desires and goals of the person you are currently, until you aren’t that person anymore, and everything changes once again.”

— Welcome to Night Vale: ep. 75 - Through the Narrow Place

[celestialsyndicate]

theres something to be said about how pwNPD & pwASPD can experience the same symptoms of being ND as an autistic person- the difference being when an autist does it theyre an uwu baby unable to harm anyone or anything and deserve all the care but when a pw a cluster B PD does it they are evil and a wolf in sheeps clothing manipulating you.

the amount of times i've heard an autistic "empath" say they will "get tricked" into relating a lot to pwNPD/pwASPD and thinking theyre both ND and giving them accomodations but the moment they find out its not a "good" neurodivergency, but is actually a "scary" PD they immediately see them as evil. they see their actions as "intentional" and "inherently manipulative". like okay its fine if an autist does it but its unthinkable that any other persom were to do it. they MUST have the most evil intentions. how does that make sense?

You know the "autism moms" we all make fun of because they act like autism is the devil and claim their kid is "manipulating/abusing" them when they are just. children. being neurodivergent. that is the same way y'all talk about personality disorders and yet no one sees the fucking irony. "its okay for me to struggle with tone but not pwPDs" "its okay for me to have RSD / need extra encouragement but its evil when its HPD/NPD" etc. its bullshit. y'all need to check your biases because most of u who "support mental health/ND people" really only meant "i advocate for myself and myself only".

[celestialsyndicate]

sounds silly but. one of the greatest things ever as someone with a trauma background is learning that things aren't inherently as bad or as scary as I thought. it IS possible to assemble Ikea furniture without arguments. is IS possible to discuss boundaries without having something thrown at me for speaking out of turn. it IS possible to spend hours on end sharing your favourite things with your favourite people, and not get called annoying for it. the world is an incredible place

[celestialsyndicate]

My oil painting of an Uncrustable

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everyone take my 114 result ‘which character are you’ uquiz

[celestialsyndicate]

Also littles sometimes having to learn to be alone after fighting alone as a child. Learning to take care of themselves after already having to do that in childhood. Littles having to go get someone else in the system because they know they can't properly handle things, and sometimes feeling unwanted again. Having littles isn't always pretty. A lot of littles are heavy trauma holders too. It's cute things and reclaiming childhood sometimes...but it's also a lot of children who don't seem like children and never got to.."waking up" in an adult body and still not getting that childhood. So reclaiming can be important, but truthfully...you never get that childhood back. Littles are grief.

Having Littles in your system isn't about buying candy, squishmallows, and giggling.

Littles in your system is also finding yourself in your bed, covers up to your chin, death grip on a stuffed animal, feeling there's a pile of bricks on your chest and you've stopped breathing. Because you are a grown adult but the smallest, slightest proximity to a trigger switched your brain to being a 6 year old and afraid again.

Littles in your system is having a switch and not knowing why the body is in a panic attack but knowing you were brought out because the little can't regulate emotions so you have to, even if you don't know the context yet, or ever.

But no. This is tumblr so all you're going to see is posts about how cute and silly their Littles are.... yeah... because that's what it's really like.... *sigh*