celestialvexation-arch

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!! - ARCHIVED - !!

yup. after at least a decade on here, i'm finally moving this blog into a new permanent home :'333 i'll be following mostly everyone here ( both from my feed and off the top of my head ) and not to worry about this one! this one will serve as storage / a backup if anything happens to the new one

feel free to follow me here ----> @celestialvexation

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EXCITED MONKE NOISES

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I might have a new fav elden ring weapon (sound important :))

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items from a forgotten cowboy

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that’s like soo funny I’m like dyinggg

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Black Cat, Oliver Clegg

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@angelofthemornings

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YOU

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song i associate with The Character comes on and i make the most unwell expression known to man

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make men slutty again.

HEAT STROKE | GQ CHINA Photographer: Wintam; Editor & Image: Shawn Gao Ding; Makeup: Lucas; Hair: Tao Liu; Art: Grade 2 & Lei Min; Art Assistant: Jiang Mi; Models: Kim; Ye Hao, Yu Hang, Ho Jun; Fashion Assistant: Yiyi, Coco; Photography Assistant: Li Zhenxi; Song Luanyi

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Saw this license plate today and I'm still ugly laughing about it

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Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.