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celestl4lore · 7 hours ago

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The Purity List ˖ 𐙚 ⊹ ˚₊ Chapter One: “Never Have I Ever”

Chapters: one. two.

Summary: You go to your first college party and somehow end up kissing a girl you just met. Despite your uneasiness, she makes everything feel a little less scary and a lot more alive.

Word Count: 2.1K

You weren’t used to this much noise. You weren’t used to much of anything, really. It was your second year of college…technically…but everything felt new. You’d spent the last year at community college. Living at home. Eating dinner with your parents every night. Sleeping in your childhood bed with your door half-open. You didn’t go out. Didn’t take chances. You studied. You played it safe.

So how was it that you were now miles from home living with two strangers who had somehow convinced you to come to this party? The air felt too thick and the music was too loud as you stood awkwardly by their side. You felt out of place when they talked to people you didn’t know. Introductions were rushed. You couldn’t keep up with all the smiles flashing in your face and the sweep of bodies moving down the hall like a current.

Your hands felt clammy. Your heart tight. You didn’t know anyone here. You didn’t even know yourself.

That’s when you saw her.

Leaning on the kitchen counter like she owned the place. She had a drink in one hand. Rings decorated her fingers. She looked up at you when you walked in. A crooked smile on her face. Her sharp eyes softened when they landed on you and it felt like your whole world just stopped.

“Looks like you need this more than I do,” she said, offering the half-empty solo cup.

You hesitated. What was that thing your parents said about strangers? Oh yeah, stay away. Then again, you’d been living with two for almost a month now. How strange could this one be?

You take the cup; blissfully unaware of its contents. You don’t even bother asking. Your lips ghost over the rim before taking a long sip, squeezing your eyes shut resisting the urge to spit it out. It’s so sweet you can practically feel the cavity forming.

The girl chuckles and you laugh nervously but somehow you find yourself talking to this pleasant stranger. You don’t know for how long and you don’t remember what you say. You just know your voice feels too quiet in this loud world and she doesn’t seem to mind.

“I guess I’m still figuring this place out,” you admit eventually. Your shoulders slump. Your voice barely above a whisper. Glancing at her sheepishly.

She grins. “Let me be your tour guide.”

Without asking, she slips her fingers into yours like it’s nothing. Like it’s normal. Like she already knows where the night is going. She leads you straight to a room full of strangers sitting in a circle under neon lights.

They’re playing “Never Have I Ever” and boy have you never. There’s an uneasiness that courses through your body when you sit next to her. Maybe it’s the fear of being judged or maybe it’s your own critic laughing at you for being so lame. Her elbow knocks into the side of your body accidentally and you adjust yourself holding the cup she’d refilled in your hand.

You sip when someone says ‘never have I ever skipped class.’

You don’t sip when someone says ‘never have I ever had sex in public.’

You laugh awkwardly when she takes a sip. Glancing around the circle, scoping out just how many people took gulps of their red cups. Enough to make you feel left out.

Then someone pulls out their phone and opens a tab on Safari. “The Rice Purity Test”. The screen flashes yellow with a long list of items you can hardly read from across the circle. You can’t make it out. Not until you’re pulling it up on your own phone. A quick glance tells you everything you need to know but you take the quiz anyway. Quietly. Honestly. Your score: 100.

You feel the heat rush to your cheeks as you tilt your phone so no one sees. No one except the perfect stranger who leans in close enough that her breath touches your neck.

“Wait. Seriously?” she says.

You don’t answer. You’re so embarrassed by your score; you feel like an imposter.

“You’ve never kissed anyone?”

You shake your head. You’re not sure why it makes your chest ache to admit it. You were never someone who could lie easily even in the most awkward situations. Not even a white lie.

She doesn’t laugh. She just smiles.

“Well,” she murmurs, “maybe we should change that.” You clutch your phone to your chest. There’s a heat in your ears that is radiating to your cheeks. It burns and sets you on fire. Her words vibrate through you. Rumbling and awakening something that’d sat dormant for so many years.

The night blurs after her suggestion. She takes your hand again. Her thumb strokes circles into your palm like she’s grounding you. Like she can feel the nerves radiating from your body.

✓ 1. Held hands romantically.

The music grows louder. The bodies grow sweatier. She leads you to a corner. Your bodies press closer. Lights reflecting off your sweaty skin. Her hand finds your waist. Your hands cling to her shoulders. You move together in silence. Just eyes locking timidly as you dance. She’s so close you can feel her heart beating in her chest and her steady breathing on your face. She’s not fazed by any of this. She’s so calm she’s almost making it difficult for you to panic. To go down your long list of why you shouldn’t be doing this.

The whole night has felt unreal. It feels like you’ve stepped into someone else’s life. Never have you ever thought you’d be at a college party playing drinking games and dancing with a stranger. And now you’d done so much more than you would’ve imagined.

✓ 4. Dance without leaving room for Jesus. ✓ 44. Ingested alcohol in a non-religious context. ✓ 45. Played a drinking game.

You can feel the tips of her fingers on your lower back; grazing on your exposed skin. You stiffen when her lips brush your jaw. Your fingers clutch her shirt as you catch your breath. Your heart pulses in your chest. The music rings in your ears. Her thumb digs into your hip. Everything is closing in around you.

She does it again…and before you can question it, you lean in. You kiss her.

✓ 5. Kissed a non-family member. ✓ 6. Kissed a non-family member on the lips.

“I’m sorry,” you say, pulling away and overthinking. She holds your jaw. Dives in for another kiss. It’s soft, at first. Testing. Tasting. Her mouth is warm and certain against your own as your eyes flutter shut. Her fingers spread over your cheek and the uneasiness creeps in again. You start to panic. You don’t know what to do. Do you open your mouth? Do you move your lips? She settles your nerves, answering your questions with a gentle stroke along your bottom lip.

You part your lips enough to let her tongue slide inside your mouth. When your tongues touch a gasp catches in your throat. Your knees go weak. The world is spinning. She kisses you like she’s been waiting to do this. Like she knew it would be you tonight.

Your noses clash, she doesn’t seem to mind. Your teeth knock into hers, she just pulls you closer. Your arms cling to her. Her hands cup your head.

✓ 7. French kissed. ✓ 8. Frenched kissed in public.

Before you can process what just happened, she pulls away. You’re breathless. Dizzy. Still holding her. Using her to ground yourself. Planting your feet on the floor. Nose pressed to her jaw as she looks at you through hooded eyelids. The music is thumping in the background but the only rhythm you can feel is the one coming from your pounding chest.

“You okay?” she asks. Her voice is so low you can barely hear it over the bass.

You nod, loosening your grip on her. Trying to compose yourself.

She smiles again. That same crooked knowing smile.

“Come on.” And again, she’s holding your hand like it’s the most natural thing. You look down at your intertwined fingers as she pulls you back into the kitchen. She rummages through the cabinets like she lives here. Someone hands her what she’s looking for and she gives it to you without hesitating. “Drink,” she instructs and you take it without questioning. You sip from the water bottle. Inhaling and exhaling when you’re done gulping the water. It’s almost as refreshing as her.

“What’s your name again?” you ask. Your voice shy because despite everything that just happened, you still don’t know her name.

The corner of her lip curls then she says, “Billie.” Just that. Just Billie. You let it roll off your tongue and she nods, flashing you a slight smile.

You say your name back and she repeats it quietly like she’s trying it on. “Pretty,” she says. “Suits you.”

You feel the heat in your cheeks again. Never have you ever felt this warmth inside. Never felt this way about another girl. You’ve never acted on your feelings like this…or any feelings, really.

She leans back against the counter crossing her arms. Tilting her head and she just looks so calm, cool, and collected. “So, a hundred?”

You nod, biting the inside of your lip. “Is that... bad?” Suddenly you’re questioning everything. You’re questioning every little step that led you here. To Billie. To the list. To your god forsaken score of one hundred. In any other circumstances a hundred would be good, right?

She shrugs but it’s not dismissive. “Not bad. Just rare.” Then teasingly she says, “innocent.”

You glance down at the cup in your hands.

“What’s your score?” you ask not sure if you really want to know.

She grins like she was waiting for that. “Dangerously low.”

You both laugh and that eases the tension that was probably in your head anyway. You find yourself asking her questions. Questions about her major (music), her music taste (everything), her hobbies (drawing).

She’s magnetic. Electric.

She makes the party shrink around you. Makes it feel like it’s just the two of you. Every once in a while someone comes up to her. Touches her shoulder. Flirts too obviously but she never diverts her attention from you for too long and that makes you feel special. She makes you feel special.

The party keeps going. You move through it together. You meet her friends. They tease her. They tease you. You surprise yourself by teasing back. You’re still the girl with a perfect score but you feel different. Like someone cracked open a window inside you and now there’s air.

As the party dies down, you sit on the couch. She sits close. Too close. But you don’t move away. You like the closeness. It’s her turn to ask about your major. Your favorite books. Your least favorite foods. She listens while you talk like you’re saying something worth remembering. Like she’s not just a girl you met at a party and will probably never see again. When you talk about home and your small town with your cautious parents and curfews, she leans in a little. “Is that why you’ve never kissed anyone?”

“I guess I was always…waiting for it to feel right,” you say quietly turning to look at her.

“And did it?” she asks. Her face flushed. Pretty blue eyes glittering under the dim lights.

“Yeah,” you say and your heart skips a beat because for once in your life you feel like you’re being honest with yourself.

She nods and smiles like that’s the answer she was hoping for but she doesn’t kiss you again. Not even when pinkies touch and your knees brush.

When she walks you back to your dorm, she’s quiet. Softer. Like the night took something out of her. Something you now possess. When you reach your building, you stop. Her hand lingers in yours. Thumb brushing your knuckles.

“I’ll see you around?”

You nod but you don’t want to let go. You unfurl your fingers only to squeeze again making sure she’s real one last time. That you didn’t just make this whole thing up. She leans in and kisses your cheek. Her lips are cold from the night air but they mark your skin with a fiery touch. Leaving what feels like a permanent mark. A reminder that you lived tonight. Really, truly lived.

Then she’s gone like a figment of your imagination leaving only a new score.

Purity Score: 92

MASTERPOST

Note: I worked on this for what feels like forever. I've rewrote this first chapter a few times. I don't think I've ever planned out a writing project *this* much so I really hope ya'll like it because I just LOVE it.

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