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celsey · 3 years ago

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Everyone Deserves Help

I’ve been watching The Act on Hulu. For those who haven’t heard of it, it’s a series based on the very true story of a girl, Gypsy Rose Blanchard, who spent her entire life being abused by her mother, Dee Dee Blanchard, who most likely had Munchausen by Proxy, and when she felt like she had no other option, killed her. Gypsy Rose Blanchard and her mother were extremely close from the time Gypsy was born. When Gypsy was three months old, Dee Dee claimed she had sleep apnea, and took her to the hospital where she was monitored. Gypsy’s father, Rod Blanchard, has said that he’s still not sure if the sleep apnea was real or not, but that was the first “diagnosis.” Gypsy seemed to get progressively sicker as she got older, with Dee Dee adding more diagnoses and getting more and more protective. Eventually Dee Dee, shunned by her family, took Gypsy Rose and moved from Lousiana to Missouri where Habitat for Humanity built them a house. At this point they were pretty famous. They received generous donations, free trips to Disney World, invitations to conferences, the works. Dee Dee had Gypsy Rose convinced that they were barely scraping by on these donations, but in reality, she was pocketing it all and using the child support Rod sent her for everything else. It was even easier for Dee Dee to assert control over Gypsy in Missouri, as she told each of Gypsy’s doctors that all her medical files had been “lost in Katrina.” Gypsy’s diagnosis included being wheelchair bound by muscular dystrophy, mental retardation (with the capacity of a seven year old), leukemia, and many many others. Dee Dee even shaved Gypsy’s head regularly, claiming “it would fall out anyway, so they might as well keep it neat.” Gypsy knew she could walk, and she knew she was smarter than her mother was saying, but other than that, she truly believed she had all of the diseases her mother claimed she did. It was only as she grew older that Gypsy began to uncover the truth. Dee Dee also lied about Gypsy’s age numerous times, repeatedly changing her birth year so she could maintain control over Gypsy. At the time of the murder (2015), Gypsy was believed to be 19 years old, when in reality, she was 24.

For most of her life, Gypsy was a prisoner. She was emotionally abused and manipulated by her mother, she was physically abused when she spoke out or misbehaved, and she was medically abused. Not only was Gypsy Rose on several prescription medications that she did not need which stunted her growth, she also had multiple unnecessary procedures, including eye surgery, ear surgery, and getting a feeding tube placed and replaced. During interviews, Dee Dee can be seen holding Gypsy’s hand, and Gypsy Rose herself has told interviewers that her mother would squeeze her hand if she said anything wrong, or to get her to say the “right” thing. All this time, no one suspected a thing. Neighbors and friends all believed Dee Dee, and even the doctors never considered running other tests. There was one doctor who believed Dee Dee had Munchausen by Proxy after running some tests that came back negative. He wrote it down in his notes but never pursued it with the hospital administration or with CPS since he thought no one would believe him. He has said since that he regrets not pushing it further. Dee Dee convinced Gypsy to keep the secret by making Gypsy feel like Dee Dee “needed” her, and by making Gypsy believe she would get in trouble for lying. She also had Gypsy sign legal documents saying she was “incompetent” when she was 18 (using the fear of getting in trouble and going to jail as a tactic), so Gypsy thought that if she did ever go to anyone, they’d see that she was “incompetent” and wouldn’t believe her anyway.

After doing some independent research and watching the documentary Mother Dead and Dearest, I have come to the conclusion that the majority of the show The Act is true, with a few things being exaggerated or fictionalized. Watching this show and researching this event, while very upsetting, has made me reflect on the way mental health is dealt with in our society, which we all know is garbage. Gypsy Rose fell threw the cracks, over and over. Everyone who was supposed to help her failed. Her father and stepmother were kept completely in the dark, and she barely had a relationship with them because of Dee Dee. In fact, Dee Dee never really left her alone. In every interview, at every doctor’s appointment, Dee Dee would do the talking. Gypsy only spoke when Dee Dee communicated that it was okay to do so. It’s tragic, horrifying, and yet, completely understandable why Gypsy Rose thought murder was the only option. In 2015, Gypsy Rose took a plea bargain of Murder in the Second Degree with a sentence of 10 years, and after serving 85% of her sentence, she’ll be eligible for parole (2024). Do I believe that Gypsy Rose should be punished for orchestrating her mother’s murder? Definitely. Does she deserve ten years in prison? No fucking way. In my opinion (and in the opinions of many others), Gypsy should have been sentenced to way less time (maybe 2 years?) and then given the help she deserves and has needed her whole life. Too often we hear stories of victims killing their abusers and then being severely punished for it.

But, believe it or not, I’m not here to talk about Gypsy Rose Blanchard. Her story has been covered many times over the last few years, and she’s garnered a lot of sympathy (which she definitely deserves). There are two other characters in the story who have mental illnesses. I’d like to discuss Nicholas Godejohn, Gypsy’s boyfriend who actually carried out the murder, and Claudinea “Dee Dee” Blanchard herself.

Nicholas Godejohn was diagnosed with what was known as Asperger’s at the time, and he was also believed to have Dissociative Personality Disorder (often incorrectly referred to as Multiple Personality Disorder). Obviously, we can’t know everything that actually happened, as none of us were there the night of the murder, or the weeks leading up to it. However, Nicholas Godejohn has previously claimed that one of his other personalities carried out the murder. Not that that excuses murder, duh. My only point is that given his mental disorders, he deserves just as much leniency as Gypsy does. In fact, some people think that Nicholas Godejohn deserves more sympathy than Gypsy does. There are theories out there that Gypsy is not as innocent as people believe. That she orchestrated the whole thing so that Nicholas would end up being her patsy. I don’t know how true that is, but even if it is true, or partly true, it doesn’t change anything else I said about Gypsy Rose - that she needs and deserves help.

So why does Gypsy only get 8 years and Nicholas gets life without parole? You could make the argument that Godejohn was the one who actually committed the murder, but look at Charles Manson. Charles Manson never actually killed anyone, but he got life in prison because he was the leader of the group and the one who convinced others to carry out the murders for him. Obviously, this is a very different set of circumstances. My only point is that Nicholas Godejohn has severe mental health issues that were clearly not being treated properly, and he may have even been taken advantage of by Gypsy Rose, whether it was her intention or not, because of those issues.

Dee Dee Blanchard’s case is a bit more nebulous. The fact is, there’s no way to know for sure that she did have Munchausen by Proxy because she’s dead, so no one can diagnose her. But, based on the evidence, I think it’s fair to assume so. For those who don’t know, Munchausen by Proxy is a disease where parents will intentionally hurt their children to get sympathy and attention for themselves. There’s no excuse for it, it really is quite sick. But, there’s no denying that it is a mental illness, and mental illnesses can usually be treated. What might have happened if someone had intervened? If that doctor had actually done his job? Maybe Gypsy wouldn’t be the only one to get the help she needed. What if Dee Dee could have gotten help too? Maybe she could have changed, reformed, become a better person. We just don’t know.

The most disturbing episode, in my opinion, was the episode that focused on Dee Dee’s relationship with her own mother. I believe this episode was mostly fictionalized. In my independent research, I couldn’t find a lot about Dee Dee’s mother. The only concrete thing I found was that Dee Dee’s family believed she starved her mother to death. And they weren’t even 100% positive, they just thought so. We have no idea how true it is, or if it is true, why she would starve her mother to death. So, for sake of argument, I have decided to assume the episode was mostly accurate in its depiction of Dee Dee’s relationship with her mother.

In the episode, Dee Dee’s mother was terrible to her. Not in obvious ways, but in passive aggressive, needling ways. She often made Dee Dee feel like she was a bad mother, or at the very least, that she herself was a better mother than Dee Dee. Allegedly, this is what led to the Munchausen by Proxy. Dee Dee wanted, perhaps needed, to prove to her own mother that she was more than capable of taking care of Gypsy. With each flashback, the treatment Dee Dee receives from her mother gets worse, and so does the Munchausen by Proxy. When Dee Dee’s mother gets sick, Dee Dee intentionally does a terrible job of caring for her. It’s kind of the reverse of the Munchausen by Proxy, where she’s making up ailments to care for her child. Instead, she’s intentionally ignoring her mother’s very real illness. There’s a scene where she’s watching television with a young Gypsy, and you can hear her mother calling for her from the bedroom. Instead of going to check on her mother, Dee Dee just turns up the volume on the TV, drowning out her mother’s voice, and enjoying her time with Gypsy. The last flashback is when Dee Dee’s mother is on her death bed. Dee Dee confronts her mother in an attempt to forgive her. She says, “I know you did your best to love me,” to which her mother chokes out, “You made it…impossible.” AND THEN SHE FUCKING DIES. How evil is that? That she chose to use her last words to tell her daughter she never loved her? Not gonna lie y’all, that fucked me up. Dee Dee then runs into the next room and grabs Gypsy, who doesn’t understand Dee Dee’s panic at all, hurriedly assuring Gypsy that she loves her.

For the record, even if none of this was true, it wouldn’t change the fact that Dee Dee needed help. We have no evidence that it is true, but we also have no evidence to the contrary. What if her relationship with her own mother is what spurred the Munchausen by Proxy? Would she be viewed as less of a monster? More sympathetic even?

I think part of the problem is that most people see things in black and white. I’ve often said that I don’t believe in “good” and “bad,” and for the most part that’s true. In the same way that a good person can do bad things, a bad person can have good inside them. Someone can commit an atrocity and still be sympathetic.

The best example I can think of are these horrible cases of infanticide. They seem to be happening a lot more recently. But rather than get into the politics of why they happen in the first place, I want to talk about the murderers, aka the mothers. Often times, these women get absolutely dragged by the public. They receive heaps of hate, even threats, and a whole lot of judgment. Sometimes these women aren’t women at all, they’re teenagers. Now, am I defending these women? NO. Absolutely not. What they’ve done is horrible, despicable, unimaginable, even goes against nature. I am not defending their actions. Not in the slightest. What I am saying is that these women need help. I’m sure there are evil, evil people out there who just want to murder babies. But let’s be honest, how many do you think there are? Aren’t the odds much higher that the woman in question has undiagnosed postpartum depression that went untreated and grew out of control? Perhaps some other untreated mental illness? And there can be a whole host of reasons why it went ignored. Maybe she wasn’t honest about how she was feeling because she was ashamed due to stigma, or maybe she was honest but her doctors and family were ignoring her. Who knows? Isn’t it fair to say that if these women had access to resources, help for their own struggles, that many of these crimes could have been prevented?

I don’t keep it a secret that I have a lot of problems with the way mental health is viewed and treated in our society. And this is a big one. Or rather, a big two. We have a problem in terms of prevention, as I pointed out above. We need more and better resources for people who need them. If people were receiving actual help, I’m willing to bet there wouldn’t be as much darkness in the world. We also have a problem with reaction. In cases where someone with mental illness commits a crime, most of the time they are shipped off to prison and locked away. Either for life, like Nicholas Godejohn, or to be released back into society, having paid for their crimes, but not being any better off, and probably still a danger to themselves and others. Even when criminals are “treated” for their mental illnesses, more often than not, they are sentenced to an institution for a certain period of time (which may or may not be for life), and there are still a lot of problems with the way medical staff treat mental disorders. There’s no guarantee that these people are actually receiving the treatment they need.

So what is my point exactly? Basically, there’s always more to the story, in the same way there’s always more to a person. People aren’t one dimensional, we’re multi-faceted. There’s no point in judging people based on any one action. Yes, even if that one action is really very awful. You don’t know how that person has lived their entire life up until that point. For all you know, that person was a damn saint, and then something happened that lead to some horrible event. Again, I’m not in any way saying people should be excused for doing bad things. In fact, I would say we’re approaching a much larger example of what I’m always talking about - that feelings don’t excuse behavior. That is still true. If someone being mentally ill doesn’t excuse them from being an asshole, it certainly doesn’t excuse them from committing murder.

But I am saying that nothing is black and white. Someone can be held accountable for things they’ve done, and still receive help for their problems. It happens all the time in regular life, why not in our justice system, too?

I’m getting kind of meta now so I think I’m going to stop. I know not everyone will agree with me, and that’s fine. I know some people will grossly misinterpret what I’ve written, and that’s not fine, but there’s not much I can do about that. I only wish we lived in a world where people could be rehabilitated, where people could receive punishment as well as treatment, and where society could see the world in technicolor, instead of black and white. It’s a shame that that’s so much to ask for.

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