cgdbrd-blog

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hey so i’m finally settled at my parents’ house, and i’m getting this blog back up and going! anyone want a starter?

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hey sorry for the disappearance, guys! I had to emergency move across the country, so. that’s my life right now.

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*gently glows*

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blckwtchd‌ :// the reaper.

      ONCE   MY   PEOPLE   TOO ?          the   ones   he   killed   are   not   his   people   and   they   never   were ;          lies   and   deceit   masked   with   faux   smiles   and   woven   tales ,     digging   and   burrowing   and   infesting   the   core   of   the   organisation   that   you   defend .          (   TELL   ME ,     ATHENA ;          CAN   YOU   SEE   THE   HORRORS   HUMANITY   CREATES ?          WHAT   SHE   MADE   OF   ME ?          WHAT   THEY   PUT   ME   AND   99   OTHERS   THROUGH ?   )          to   him ,     he   has   done   a   service   for   her ;          but   as   any   goddess   loves   humanity ,     perhaps   she   doesn’t   see   it   in   that   light .          as   far   as   the   reaper   is   aware     —     those   he   killed   deserved   to   burn .

      HE   HARBOURS   ANGER   ONLY   BECAUSE   NOBODY   WANTED   TO   FACE   THE   TRUTH ,     THE   MUSIC .          overwatch   was   bound   for   corruption   and   people   like   jack ,     ana ,     and   athena   let   that   happen ,     watched   as   the   organisation   meant   to   be   a   beacon   in   the   dark ,     a   saving   grace ,     collapse   to   corrupted   hands   and   ambitious   enemies .          he   had   to   force   the   disbanding .          he   technically   even   DIED   for   a   fresh   start ,     only   to   be   brought   back   from   the   grave ,     cells   regenerating   as   fast   as   they   would   deteriorate ,     leaving   him   unstable   and   bitter   and   frustrated .          (   BUT   THIS   IS   NOT   THE   TIME   TO   BE   THINKING   OF   THE   WHAT   IFS .   )

      SHE   WANTS   HIM   TO   LISTEN .          claws   reach   forth   to   grip   her ,     snarl   deep   and   animalistic ,     the   true   persona   of   reaper ;          brutal   and   efficient ,     uncaring   and   calculating ,     as   cold   as   the   touch   of   his   skin ,     the   hollow   stare   in   his   once   bright   hazel   eyes .          does   he   give   her   the   benefit   of   the   doubt ,     leaving   him   open   to   surprise ,     breaking   the   persona ?          can   he   really   listen   to   her   words   now ?          his   claws   are   sharp   and   his   teeth   are   clenched ,     his   brows   furrowed   and   his   jaw   tense ,     other   hand   with   shotgun   in   tow   hovering   at   his   side .          does   he   trust   himself ?

      “          …          YOU’VE   GOT   TO   BE   KIDDING   ME .          you   want   me   to   listen   to   you ?          why ?          ”          do   you   think   you   can   ask   him   why   he   does   this ?          why   he   kills   his   former   colleagues ,     makes   attempts   on   the   people   he   once   called   friends ?          (   WITH   SUCH   INFORMATION ,     YOU’LL   JEOPARDISE   EVERYTHING   HE   IS   WORKING   TOWARDS ;          HE   CAN’T   RISK   THAT .   )

pallas athena, PROTECTOR of soldiers, mother of war — you stand before a MONSTER now, and his claws sink deep into your skin. though you are metal and stardust, the product of your father’s mind, you are still mortal in this hollow shell. one wrong move, and you will be returned to your tomb. only, then, would a dead man be able to bring you home. but you can prevent that from happening. you, alone, can reach the man you once served. 

little hands, trembling fingers that have never once held a gun, reach for the reaper’s wrists. she does not fight him, does not try to remove his grip from her person, but instead CLINGS to leather armor and icy flesh. she is the savior of fighters, and this man ... this LAZARUS, he is one of hers. he will always be one of hers. and she will not allow him to forget that. she will not allow him to murder anymore innocent individuals. 

( pick your words carefully, goddess, lest they be your last. )

“you know my purpose, commander.” pain is foreign to the goddess; an experiencing she has been fortunate enough to only endure once or twice before now. judging by the heat swelling in the gunshot wound and the pressure beneath his hands, it is not something would like to go through again. but she will remain. athena ALWAYS remains, until the last soldier is brought home. “you were one of mine. i fought to keep you safe. i MOURNED you. i never wanted to see you like this. i cared about you then, and i care about you now.”

"i cannot and will not purposely hurt you. do you truly HATE US so much, that you would hunt us down in cold blood? what did we do, commander? what can i do to make this RIGHT?” a goddess, staring up not as a savior, not a protector, but as his friend. an old ally. a woman looking for answers, despite the violence. “all you have to do is talk to me, sir.”

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“There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.” Pablo Neruda, “A Song of Despair,”

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ncvabcrn‌ :// ally.

    “…humans need food to SURVIVE, a-and, uh, some foods are just fun to eat.” this was an interesting conversation they were having. sure, ally’s limbs were practically replaced entirely with metal and other things, but they still had tastebuds. the cyborg never really thought about the concept of taste ( in athena’s words. ) until now.

   “i’m not sure how it works with omnics, b-but i’m going to guess it’s something like programming? like– like how cravings for us are just.. chemicals in our brain doing stuff.”

“i am aware of the necessaries of.. of the CONSUMPTION of food, but...” she shakes her head still, glancing over at the other. they were a friend, an ally, but still athena cannot comprehend it. why, of all things, had TASTE developed? most animals do not care for taste. most just eat to survive. it certainly is strange to the goddess. “there is something about the concept of taste that is so foreign to me.”

once more, she wrinkles her nose, though this time it is at their words. “not an omnic, ally. i may have this form, but i am not...” oh, it’s not worth it. “other chemical reactions make sense. love and lust offer forth reasons for procreation. pack bonding makes a community stronger. taste is just-- weird.”

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big ‘i love u’ energy

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warpulse‌ :// commander.

Shoulders slump as Jack stares fixedly at the floor, feeling rather small in the face of Athena’s wrath, her pain. Guilt ripples through his very core and leaves him aching. His mind reels, searching for the right words for the situation, but there is no precedent for this, and he finds himself at a loss.

❝ I… ❞ Defeated, he lifts his gaze back to her. While it’s hard to apologize for doing what he thought was the right thing, he knows it’s necessary.  ❝ I’m sorry, Athena. ❞ He certainly feels like just another soldier, but he doesn’t dare argue against her. ❝ I wish I… I wish things had gone differently. ❞

“don’t we all?” 

perhaps it comes out harsher than she intends, but there is no other way to say it. she is hurt. she is frustrated. of all the agents she had trusted and bonded with, the commander had been one of her dearest friends. she had done EVERYTHING to keep him and his team safe. and now he stands before her, alive, after she had mourned him for years. 

her hands clasped behind her, athena turns from him. her eyes glance briefly at the data flying across the screen. there is still so much to do. she cannot risk letting this pain affect her, no matter how much her chest squeezes at the very sight of him. 

“why have you chosen now to return, commander?”

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“i’m not saying that i don’t UNDERSTAND the concept of taste yet, but...” glancing down at the omnic-based food, athena wrinkles her nose. she pushes it out, away from her. “i cannot fathom why it is something human and omnics crave so much. the texture alone is enough to make one...”

a shudder shoots down her spine.

@ncvabcrn​ | starter call 

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vinodiriso‌ :// shimada hanzo.

@cgdbrd ♡‘ed for a starter !!!

HANZO. ☈

“Got to give it to the clan— they are getting more and more creative with the assassins they send after me.”

Hanzo’s arrow was pointed to the creature’s neck, head tilted to the side to align eye and string of his bow perfectly. One false step and it would have been pierced through with the head of his arrow.

“Leave, before I get seriously angry. I am not in the mood for KILLING.”

athena does not move as the arrow is poised to strike, as the man wielding it offers forth his threats. her hands are raised, revealing no weapons, though blue optics do not leave his face. she is not afraid of death, no; what is death to a GODDESS? what is a human’s threat to THE artificial intelligence?

“neither am i,” assures the woman. “i am no assassin, mr. shimada. i have no better shot with a rifle than a newborn babe, i assure you. i am simply... here to talk. i have heard a great deal about you.”

from your brother, she wants to say. from the boy i aided towards recovery, and told stories to on the nights his pain flared and memories threatened to resurface. but she does not say that; not yet. the last thing she needs is to be put out of commission until winston can figure out a way to end the virus in her systems.

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okay i think i’m recovering from my depression spiral so uh.

starter call?

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 JOY IS THE HOLY FIRE THAT KEEPS OUR PURPOSE WARM

julia vesh. the guardian. sunbreaker. loved by lucretia.

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Winnie Harlow for Remix Magazine April 2019, shot by Dennis Leupold.  

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Someone: “Why do you get so heated while discussing lore of stuff? And why is it so detailed? Why do you have several thousand words devoted to this shit?”

Me: 

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literally everytime i play mccree

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blckwtchd‌ :// commander.

      HE   SAW   HER   HESITATION   BUT   DIDN’T   THINK   TO   SHOOT   AT   HER   FIRST .          and   it   is   then   he   stumbles   back   and   crumbles ,     wisps   of   nanites   already   swarming   around   the   injury   in   an   attempt   to   repair   the   damage   done ,     teeth   clenched   and   claws   dropping   one   shotgun ,     balancing   himself   on   the   ground   with   his   free   hand .

      SO   SHE   HAS   GUTS   AFTER   ALL .          don’t   think   he   didn’t   notice ,     athena ,     with   your   hands   trembling   as   you   muster   all   the   courage   you   possibly   can ;          he   knows   why   you   hesitated   the   moment   you   said   commander .

      REAPER   DOESN’T   WANT   TO   ADMIT   THE   OLD   TITLE   MADE   HIM   HESITATE ,     BUT   HOW   CAN   HE   NOT ??          he   isn’t   the   man   he   was   but   he   almost   responds   to   the   title ,     observing   her   reaction   to   what   she'd   done .          (   SHE   CARES ;          DOES   SHE   NOT   REALISE   THE   DANGER   SHE   HAS   PUT   HERSELF   IN ,     CARING   NOW   OF   ALL   TIMES ??   )

      O’   LAZARUS ,     RISE .          the   nanites   finish   swirling   around   the   injury   from   her   shot ,     wisps   of   smoke   lifting   as   he   pulls   himself   up   with   the   effortlessness   of   shadow .          (   FOOLISH   ATHENA ,     CARING   FOR   SOMEONE   WHO   CAN   HARDLY   CALL   HIMSELF   A   MAN   ANYMORE .   )          he   takes   the   shotgun   he   still   holds   in   one   hand ,     hastily   taking    a   shot   at   her ,     not   aiming   anywhere   in   particular .          this   fight   has   truly   started   now ,     and   like   hell   he’ll   hesitate   again .

      “          YOU   ARE   A   FOOL   TO   THINK   i   am   the   same   commander   you   knew   all   those   years   ago .          ”

she watches with horror as the nanites swirl, as his body heals. she has seen it once before, once with winston on the day he and talon swarmed their base. but there is a difference, she realizes, between seeing the world through screens and seeing it with your own eyes. there is a distinct difference, now that she knows the name of the man behind his hollow-eyed mask. one hand lifts, to cover her mouth, as blue optics widen.

( oh, gabriel, what has she done to you? what did frankenstein do to his MONSTER? a horrific creature, who only wanted love, acceptance, family. what has she turned you into? what, now, can be done for you? )

“commander, please, we don’t have to--” her words are cut off as the gunshot rings out. the slugs separate, tearing into her thigh and hip, burning the fabric of her slacks. athena clenches her jaw. one hand moves to the wound, trembling. she does not lift her gun. “we don’t have to do this. you don’t have to HURT THEM. they were your people once, too.”

pallas athena stands before the dead thing, staring up at him. a goddess and a dead man; once friends, now separated by a battlefield. but despite his anger, he is still one of hers. he is still her commander, her gabriel, her agent. and the united nations’ blocks are still in her mind. deliberate harm will not be tolerated.

“commander, listen to me. please.”

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[softly] 

birth.