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11 Anger Management Strategies That Can Help You Calm Down Fast

Difficulty managing your anger can lead to a variety of problems; saying things you regret, yelling at your kids, threatening your co-worker, sending rash emails, health problems, or physical violence.

Anger management problems aren’t always that serious, however. Instead, you might just find that you waste a lot of time thinking about events that upset you or venting about people you dislike.

Anger management isn’t about never getting angry. Instead, it involves learning how to recognize, cope with, and express your anger in healthy and productive ways.

Anger management is a skill that everyone can learn. And, there’s always room for improvement.

 Why Does Anger Need to Be Managed? 

Anger is an emotion that can range from mild irritation to intense rage.

While many people refer to anger as a “negative emotion,” anger can be quite positive. Angry feelings may spur you to stand up for someone or it may inspire you to create social change.

When left unchecked, angry feelings can lead to aggressive behavior, like yelling at someone or damaging property. Or, angry feelings may cause you to withdraw from the world and turn your anger inward.

Angry emotions become problematic when they’re felt too often or too intensely or when they’re expressed in unhealthy ways.

Too much anger can take a toll on you, physically, mentally, and socially. Anger management strategies are meant to help you discover healthy ways to reduce and express your feelings.

 Cognitive Behavioral Strategies 

Research consistently shows that cognitive behavioral interventions are effective strategies for improving anger management.1

Cognitive behavioral interventions involve changing the way an individual thinks and behaves. It’s based on the notion that your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected.

Your thoughts and behaviors can either fuel your emotions or reduce them. So if you want to shift your emotional state away from anger, you can change what you’re thinking about and what you’re doing.

Cognitive behavioral strategies for anger management involve shifting away from the thoughts and behaviors that fuel your anger.1 Without fuel to keep the fire burning, the fire inside you will begin to dwindle and you'll calm down.

The best way to manage your anger is to create an anger management control plan. Then, you'll know what to do when you start feeling upset.2

 1) Identify What Triggers Your Anger 

If you’ve gotten into the habit of losing your temper, it can be helpful to take stock of the things that trigger your anger. Long lines, traffic jams, snarky comments from a friend, or being overtired are just a few things that might shorten your fuse.

That’s not to say you should blame people or external circumstances for your inability to keep your cool. But, understanding the things that trigger your anger can help you plan accordingly.

You might decide to structure your day differently to help you manage your stress better. Or, you might practice some anger management techniques before you encounter circumstances that you usually find distressing so you can lengthen your fuse—meaning that a single frustrating episode won’t set you off.

 2) Determine If Your Anger Is a Friend or Enemy 

Before you spring into action calming yourself down, ask yourself if your anger is a friend or an enemy.

If you’re witnessing someone’s rights being violated or your anger is signaling to you that the circumstances you’re in aren’t healthy, your anger might be helpful. Then, you might proceed by changing the situation—rather than changing your emotional state.

Your anger might give you the courage you need to take a stand or make a change.

If, however, your anger is causing distress or it’s threatening to cause you to lash out, your anger may be an enemy. In that case, it makes sense to work on changing your emotions by calming yourself down.

 3) Recognize Your Warning Signs 

It may feel like your anger hits you in an instant. But, there are warning signs when your anger is on the rise. Recognizing those warning signs can help you take action so you can calm yourself down and prevent your anger from getting to a boiling point.2

Think about the physical warning signs of anger. Perhaps your heart beats fast or your face feels hot. Or, maybe you begin to clench your fists.

You also might notice some cognitive changes. Perhaps your mind races or you begin “seeing red.”

When you recognize your warning signs, you have the opportunity to take immediate action so you can prevent yourself from doing or saying things that create even bigger problems in your life.

 4) Step Away From the Situation 

Trying to win an argument or sticking it out in an unhealthy situation will fuel your anger. One of the best things you can do when your anger is on the rise is to take a break.

Take a break when a conversation gets heated. Leave a meeting if you think you’re going to explode. A time out can be key to helping you calm your brain and your body down.

If there’s someone that you routinely get into heated disputes with, like a friend or family member, talk about taking a time-out and resume when you're both feeling calm.

Explain that you aren’t trying to dodge difficult subjects, but you’re working on managing your anger better. And you won’t be able to have a productive conversation when you’re feeling upset.

You can rejoin the discussion or address the issue again when you're feeling calmer.

 5) Talk to a Trusted Friend 

If there’s someone who has a calming effect on you, talking through an issue or expressing your feelings to that person may be helpful.

It’s important to note, however, that venting can backfire. Complaining about your boss, describing all the reasons you don’t like someone or grumbling about all of your perceived injustices may add fuel to the fire.

A common misconception is that you have to vent your anger to feel better. But, studies show you don’t need to “get your anger out.”3 Smashing things when you’re upset, for example, may make you angrier.

So it’s important to use this coping skill with caution. If you’re going to talk to a friend, make sure you’re working on developing a solution or reducing your anger, not just venting.

You might find that the best way to use this strategy is to talk about something other than the situation causing you to feel angry.

 6) Get Your Body Moving 

Anger gives you a rush of energy and one of the best ways to put that surge to good use is to engage in physical activity.4 Whether you go for a brisk walk or you decide to hit the gym, working out can burn off the extra tension.

Regular exercise can also help you decompress. Aerobic activity reduces stress, which might help improve your frustration tolerance.4

 7) Change the Way You Think 

Angry thoughts add fuel to your anger. Thinking things like, “I can’t stand it. This traffic jam is going to ruin everything,” will increase your frustration.

When you find yourself thinking about things that fuel your anger, reframe your thoughts. Remind yourself of the facts by saying something like, “There are millions of cars on the road every day. Sometimes, there will be traffic jams.”

Focusing on the facts—without adding in catastrophic predictions or distorted exaggerations—can help you stay calmer.5

You also might develop a mantra that you can repeat to drown out the thoughts that fuel your anger. Saying, "I'm OK. Stay calm," or "Not helpful," over and over again can help you keep the thoughts that fuel your anger at bay.

 8) Change the Channel 

Ruminating about an upsetting situation fuels angry feelings. If, for example, you’ve had a bad day at work, rehashing everything that went wrong all evening will keep you stuck in a state of frustration.

The best way to calm down might be to change the channel in your brain and focus on something else altogether.

But, you’re likely to find that telling yourself “Don’t think about that,” isn’t a good way to get your mind off something. The best way to mentally shift gears is to distract yourself with an activity.

Clean the kitchen, weed the garden, pay some bills, or play with the kids. Find something to do that will keep your mind occupied enough that you won’t ruminate on the things upsetting you. Then, your body and your brain can calm down.

 9) Engage in a Relaxation Exercise 

There are many different relaxation exercises and it’s important to find the one that works best for you. Breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation are two common strategies for reducing tension.6

The best part is, both exercises can be performed quickly and discreetly. So whether you’re frustrated at work or you’re angry at a dinner engagement, you can let go of stress quickly.

It’s important to note, however, that relaxation exercises take practice. At first, you might not feel as though they’re effective or you might question whether they’re going to work for you. But with practice, they can become your go-to strategies for anger management.

 10) Explore the Feelings Beneath Your Anger 

Sometimes it helps to take a moment and think about what emotions might be lurking beneath your anger. Anger often serves as a protective mask to help you avoid feeling more painful emotions, like embarrassment, sadness, and disappointment.

When someone gives you feedback that’s hard to hear, for example, you might lash out in anger because you’re embarrassed. Convincing yourself the other person is bad for criticizing you might make you feel better by keeping your embarrassment at bay.

But, acknowledging those underlying emotions—and labeling them—can help you get to the root of the problem. Then, you can decide to take appropriate action.

 11) Create a Calm Down Kit 

If you tend to come home from work stressed out and you take out your anger on your family or you know that workplace meetings cause you a lot of frustration, create a calm down kit that you can use to relax.

Think about objects that might help engage your senses. When you can look, hear, see, smell, and touch calming things, you can change your emotional state.

You might fill a shoebox with scented hand lotion, a photo of you on vacation with your family, a picture of a serene landscape, a spiritual passage about staying calm, and a few pieces of your favorite candy.

You might also create a sort of virtual calm down kit that you can take everywhere. Calming music and images, guided meditation, or instructions for breathing exercises could be stored in a special folder on your smartphone.

 A Word From Verywell 

For many people, angry outbursts serve a purpose. Yelling at someone may get them to comply with your demands. Or lashing out at a partner may show that individual that you mean business.

While aggressive behavior may get your needs met right now, there are long-term consequences. Other people might not like or respect you if you can’t tame your temper. Or, your words might cause lasting damage to the relationship.

If you’ve been using your anger as a tool to get your needs met, you may benefit from learning healthier and more socially appropriate strategies. Asking for help or speaking up assertively might help you get what you want without causing more problems in the long-term. If anger has been causing problems in your life and you’re struggling to tame your temper on your own, seek professional help.

Some mental health problems can be linked to anger management issues. For example, PTSD can be linked to aggressive outbursts. Depressive disorders can also cause irritability and may make it more difficult to manage anger. 

Start by talking to your physician about your mood and your behavior. Your physician will want to ensure you don’t have any physical health issues that are contributing to the problem.

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How to Become More Mindful in Your Everyday Life

The practice of mindfulness—directing all of your attention and awareness to the present—can bring many benefits to your emotional and physical health, as well as to the relationships in your life.

Among its many benefits, practicing everyday mindfulness can:

Pull you out of the negative downward spiral that can be caused by too much daily stress, too many bad moods, or the habit of rumination.

Help you make fewer errors when processing your experiences.

Help you put stressful events into perspective and build resilience so you're less overwhelmed by them in the future.

And while there are many mindfulness exercises you can practice regularly, learning how to be present in the moment is also a way of life. With practice, you can learn to live a more mindful life that allows you to become more conscious of everything you are doing.

It can be tough in today's fast-paced world to pause and be present, however. After all, many things are competing for your attention and there's a lot of pressure to multi-task.

But, if you're intentional about being more mindful during your everyday life, you can live with greater purpose and more happiness.

 Practice Mindful Eating 

Whether you eat while you scroll through your phone or you reach for food for emotional comfort, mindless eating is common. And it can contribute to a host of problems, like overeating and consuming too much sugar.

Practice becoming more mindful about how you fuel your body. Resist the urge to multi-task while you eat. When you eat, be present with your food.

Pay attention to each bite that you're taking. Chew your food slowly and savor the taste.

Notice your body's signals about when you're getting full and pay more attention to what's on your plate. When you become more intentional about what you're eating, you'll be better equipped to focus on fueling your body with the nutrition it needs.

 Be Mindful in Your Interactions 

Whether you're interacting with your partner, your children, or a colleague, mindful interactions are important.

Mindfulness in a relationship is about observing what the other person is doing in a non-judgmental way. It's also about staying present in the moment during your conversations.

So rather than scroll through your phone while you're with someone, give them your undivided attention. And instead of crafting your rebuttal while they're sharing their opinion, seek to hear their message.

You can become more mindful by paying attention to the way you're feeling, listening carefully, and learning to respond to others in a more mindful manner (rather than reacting out of anger).

 Engage in Activities Mindfully 

Do you ever have trouble recalling whether you washed your hair already when you're in the shower? Or do you sometimes forget why you walked into a certain room? Those are signs that you have a lot of things going on in your mind and you aren't being mindful.

Fortunately, you can improve at this and there are many opportunities to practice throughout the day.

Walking, gardening, eating chocolate, and many other activities can be opportunities to practice mindfulness. You just have to perform them with a heightened sense of awareness.

This means focusing on the present moment, tuning into physical sensations, being fully aware of everything you do, and letting go of thoughts of the future or anxiety over the past.

Take cleaning the house, for example. Start by viewing your work as a positive event—an exercise in self-understanding and stress relief, rather than simply as a chore. Then, as you clean, focus on what you are doing as you are doing it—and nothing else.

Feel the warm, soapy water on your hands as you wash dishes; experience the vibrations of the vacuum cleaner as you push it over the floor; enjoy the warmth of fresh-from-the-dryer laundry as you fold it; feel the freedom of letting go of unneeded objects as you put them in a box for donation.

Another opportunity to practice mindfulness in your everyday life is when you're listening to music. Focus on the sound and vibration of each note, the feelings that the music stirs up within you, and other in-the-moment sensations.

Throughout your day, look for opportunities to be more mindful. Whether you're riding in the subway or you're taking a hot shower, try to be fully of aware of what you're doing and what's happening around you.

When your mind wanders, congratulate yourself for noticing and gently bring your attention back to the current moment.

 Pause Throughout the Day 

As you move from one activity to the next throughout the day, it can be tough to stay mindful. You can get back on track by pausing throughout the day to practice a few basic mindfulness exercises.

You might make it a habit to spend a few minutes being mindful at certain times of the day, like during meals or when you're getting the car. Or, you might schedule a time to practice meditation or yoga.

You can also make it a habit to practice focus on your breathing when you're upset or anxious. Breathing techniques can have a calming effect and help you stay grounded in the present moment.

Progressive muscle relaxation is another exercise you might practice throughout the day. Simply, work on tensing and relaxing your muscles, one muscle group at a time. With practice, you'll learn to recognize when you're tensing up certain parts of your body.

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5 Self-Care Practices for Every Area of Your Life

All the stress relief activities in the world won't help if you aren't taking care of yourself.

Meditation won't do you any good if you aren't getting adequate sleep. When you try to meditate, you might doze off because you aren't taking care of your body's need for sleep.

Similarly, hitting the gym once in a while won't relieve much stress if you're only fueling your body with high-processed junk food. You need to take care of your basic needs first if you want your stress relief activities to be effective.

According to a 2017 journal article titled, "Development of a Self-Care Assessment for Psychologists," self-care is defined as, "a multidimensional, multifaceted process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and enhance well-being."

Self-care is vital for building resilience toward those stressors in life that you can't eliminate. When you've taken steps to care for your mind and body, you'll be better equipped to live your best life.

Unfortunately, however, many people view self-care as a luxury, rather than a priority. Consequently, they're left feeling overwhelmed, tired, and ill-equipped to handle life's inevitable challenges.

It's important to assess how you're caring for yourself in several different domains so you can ensure you're caring for your mind, body, and spirit.

 Physical Self-Care 

You need to take care of your body if you want it to run efficiently. Keep in mind that there's a strong connection between your body and your mind. When your caring for your body, you'll think and feel better too.

Physical self-care includes how you're fueling your body, how much sleep you're getting, how much physical activity you are doing, and how well you're caring for your physical needs. Attending appointments, taking medication as prescribed, and managing your health are all part of good physical self-care.1

When it comes to physical self-care, ask yourself the following questions to assess whether there might be some areas you need to improve:

Are you getting adequate sleep?

Is your diet fueling your body well?

Are you taking charge of your health?

Are you getting enough exercise? 

 Social Self-Care 

Socialization is key to self-care. But, often, it's hard to make time for friends and it's easy to neglect your relationships when life gets busy.

Close connections are important to your well-being. The best way to cultivate and maintain close relationships is to put time and energy into building your relationships with others.2

There isn't a certain number of hours you should devote to your friends or work on your relationships. Everyone has slightly different social needs. The key is to figure out what your social needs are and to build enough time in your schedule to create an optimal social life.

To assess your social self-care, consider:

Are you getting enough face-to-face time with your friends?

What are you doing to nurture your relationships with friends and family?

 Mental Self-Care 

The way you think and the things that you're filling your mind with greatly influence your psychological well-being.

Mental self-care includes doing things that keep your mind sharp, like puzzles, or learning about a subject that fascinates you. You might find reading books or watching movies that inspire you fuels your mind.3

Mental self-care also involves doing things that help you stay mentally healthy. Practicing self-compassion and acceptance, for example, helps you maintain a healthier inner dialogue.

Here are a few questions to consider when you think about your mental self-care:

Are you making enough time for activities that mentally stimulate you?

Are you doing proactive things to help you stay mentally healthy?

 Spiritual Self-Care 

Research shows that a lifestyle including religion or spirituality is generally a healthier lifestyle.

Nurturing your spirit, however, doesn't have to involve religion. It can involve anything that helps you develop a deeper sense of meaning, understanding, or connection with the universe.4

Whether you enjoy meditation, attending a religious service, or praying, spiritual self-care is important.

As you consider your spiritual life, ask yourself:

What questions do you ask yourself about your life and experience?

Are you engaging in spiritual practices that you find fulfilling?

 Emotional Self-Care 

It's important to have healthy coping skills to deal with uncomfortable emotions, like anger, anxiety, and sadness. Emotional self-care may include activities that help you acknowledge and express your feelings regularly.

Whether you talk to a partner or close friend about how you feel, or you set aside time for leisure activities that help you process your emotions, it's important to incorporate emotional self-care into your life.5

When assessing your emotional self-care strategies, consider these questions:

Do you have healthy ways to process your emotions?

Do you incorporate activities into your life that help you feel recharged?

 Develop Your Self-Care Plan 

Self-care isn't a one-size-fits-all strategy. Your self-care plan will need to be customized to your needs.

A self-care plan for a busy college student who feels mentally stimulated all the time and has a bustling social life might need to emphasize physical self-care.

On the other hand, a retired person may need to incorporate more social self-care into their schedule to make sure that their social needs are being met.

Assess which areas of your life need some more attention and self-care. And reassess your life often. As your situation changes, your self-care needs are likely to shift too.

When you discover that you're neglecting a certain aspect of your life, create a plan for change.

You don't have to tackle everything all at once. Identify one small step you can take to begin caring for yourself better.

Then, schedule time to focus on your needs. Even when you feel like you don't have time to squeeze in one more thing, make self-care a priority. When you're caring for all aspects of yourself, you'll find that you can operate more effectively and efficiently.

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How Physical Exercise Benefits Mental Health

While the physical health benefits of exercise are frequently discussed, the psychological benefits are often overlooked. But research shows exercise can be quite beneficial for mental health.

Physical activity may help ward off mental health problems before they start. Additionally, research shows exercise can improve the symptoms of many existing mental illnesses.

 How Exercise Impacts Mental Illness 

Mental health professionals often prescribe exercise as part of the treatment for specific mental illnesses.

Exercise can alleviate many of the symptoms of depression, such as fatigue, tension, anger, and reduced vigor.

For people with panic disorder, PTSD, and other anxiety-related conditions, exercise can be a proactive way to release pent-up tension and reduce feelings of fear and worry.2

Exercise also decreases sensitivity to the body's reaction to anxiety, as well as decreases the intensity and frequency of panic attacks in some cases.3

Additionally, a regular exercise program can help ease symptoms of other common co-occurring conditions, such as ​IBS.4

 How Exercise Promotes Positive Well-Being 

Exercise can also be used to enhance well-being in people who already feel mentally healthy. Increased physical activity has been found to enhance mood, improve energy levels, and promote quality sleep.

There are several reasons why physical activity can be good for psychological well-being:

Exercise decreases stress hormones. Exercise decreases stress hormones like cortisol. It also increases endorphins—your body's ‘feel-good’ chemicals—giving your mood a natural boost.5

Physical activity distracts you from negative thoughts and emotions. Physical activity can take your mind off of your problems and either redirect it on the activity at hand or get you into a zen-like state.

Exercise promotes confidence. Exercise can help you lose weight, tone your body, and maintain a healthy glow and a smile.6 You may feel a subtle but significant boost in your mood as your clothes look more flattering and you project an aura of increased strength.

Exercise can be a good source of social support. The benefits of social support are well-documented and many physical activities can be social activities as well.7 So whether you join an exercise class or you play softball in a league, exercising with others can give you a double-dose of stress relief.

Better physical health may mean better mental health. While stress can cause illness, illness can also cause stress. Improving your overall health and longevity with exercise can save you a great deal of stress in the short run (by strengthening your immunity to colds, the flu, and other minor illnesses) and the long run (by helping you stay healthier longer, and enjoy life more because of it).

Exercise provides a buffer against stress. Physical activity may be linked to lower physiological reactivity toward stress. Simply put, those who get more exercise may become less affected by the stress they face. So, in addition to all the other benefits, exercise may supply some immunity toward future stress as well as a way to cope with current stress.8

 Types of Exercise 

Fortunately, many types of exercise can improve mental health. From weight lifting to running, it's important to find exercises that you enjoy doing. Here are some types of exercise that can be good for mental health:

 Yoga 

Yoga can range from gentle to challenging. The most common form of yoga (hatha yoga) involves physical poses (known as asanas), controlled breathing, and periods of meditation.

Yoga is a low-risk method for healing the body and mind. Often the positive effects can be felt after just one class.

A 2018 study published in Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice found that yoga can help:

Decrease physiological arousal

Lower heart rate

Lower blood pressure

Improve respiration

Reduce the stress response

Reduce depression and anxiety

Increase energy and feelings of well-being

 Tai Chi 

Tai Chi is an ancient Chinese martial art that combines meditation and rhythmic breathing in a slow series of graceful body movements and poses (also called forms). Tai Chi has been shown to:

Reduce stress

Lower blood pressure

Reduce anxiety

Improve depressed mood

Increase self-esteem9

 Aerobic Exercise 

There is growing research evidence that regular aerobic exercise (such as running, cycling or swimming) is associated with better psychological health.

Although studies have focused on depression, panic disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), there's also some evidence to suggest a positive effect of exercise on social phobia.10 11

Both single sessions and long-term programs of aerobic exercise have been shown to provide a positive benefit for psychological health.11

Although as little as five to 10 minutes of aerobic exercise can help to improve your mood and reduce your anxiety, regular programs, lasting from 10 to 15 weeks, seem to improve one's overall mental state.

 Before You Begin 

If you are just starting with an exercise program, it's important to consult with your doctor to determine the best form of exercise and intensity level for your physical condition.

Your medical history, current medications, and diagnosed conditions can all play a role in your ability to exercise.

If you suspect you have a mental illness or you're being treated by a mental health professional, ask about how you can incorporate physical activity into your treatment.

A qualified mental health professional can make suggestions about the best strategies for treating your specific condition.

 How to Start an Exercise Plan 

Once you have obtained your doctor’s approval and recommendations, you will want to decide on an exercise program that's right for you.

Do you want to take a class? Could it be helpful to hire a trainer at the gym? Do you prefer to go for a walk on your own time while listening to your favorite music? The key to sticking with a program is to find something that you enjoy doing.

When starting a new exercise plan, you may initially feel very motivated. This motivation to exercise can be extremely beneficial in helping you get started on your new exercise plan.

A 2017 study published in Maturitas found that between two and six hours of exercise each week is best for optimal mental health.

Here are a few tips to start and maintain your exercise plan:

Don’t overdo it. Be careful not to push yourself to extremes in the beginning, as this can lead to physical injury. Remember that exercise can be fun and can help improve your mood and anxiety, but it should not be causing physical issues. Take it slow in the beginning and gradually increase your workouts over time.

Commit to your exercise plan. From stressed-out executives to frazzled stay-at-home moms, everyone is busy. Putting time aside to exercise means that you have made your health and well-being a top priority. It can take time before you notice improvements in your panic symptoms. For the best results, stay patient and consistent with your exercise program.

Know that your motivation may change at different stages of your exercise plan. It is not uncommon for your initial enthusiasm to fade over time. It can help to change your routine a little or find new exercise options altogether. For example, if you're getting bored with the treadmill at the local gym, try walking locally or joining a hiking group. These alternative options can also have the added benefit of helping you socialize while you exercise.

Keep experimenting. Experiment with different strategies to find what works best for you. If you struggle to stick with exercise first thing in the morning, try exercising in the afternoon. Or, if you discover that you dread hitting the gym, try exercising outside. Keep experimenting until you find something that you are likely to stick to.

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How to Reverse the Cycle of Stress

A little stress can keep us on our toes, motivate us to do our best and challenge us in ways that make us stronger. More than a little stress can lead to more negative consequences if we’re not careful: chronic stress, which can adversely affect physical and emotional health, and even self-perpetuating cycles that lead to more and more stress. 

These negative stress cycles can ultimately put us at risk of experiencing feelings of anxiety, depression, and burnout. This process is a downward spiral of stress, and recognizing when you are moving in that direction can be an important part of moving away from the pattern.

It is important to realize when stress is beginning to take on a life of its own and know how to stop the process from accelerating. It is even more valuable to know how to turn these negative patterns into positive ones—patterns that can make us stronger, more resilient, and less stressed. Here are some ways to take yourself from a place of feeling stressed and overwhelmed to being in a place of empowerment and peace. Here are some strategies to consider.

 Replace Rumination and Reminisce 

One of the most significant ways that we keep ourselves stressed or even turn relatively small stressors into larger challenges is the human tendency toward rumination. We can all be prone to rumination from time to time—this is the tendency to play and replay frustrating conversations in our heads, go over and over the details of a stressful event in our near or even distant past, and otherwise revisit stressful situations without actually changing anything for the better. The problem with rumination is that it keeps us in a negative headspace and robs us of our mental peace in the present, without bringing any real payoff in return.

When you find yourself in the throes of rumination, distracting yourself by shifting your attention to the present moment, even practicing mindfulness, can offer an effective antidote. Listening to music can get you into a more positive place as well. Distracting yourself by getting involved in anything more positive can also do the trick.

However, if you find your mind still fighting you and moving toward thoughts of the past, you can instead turn your mind to positive memories. This uses the same process—your memory—and instead focuses it on something that will bring you happiness and positivity rather than stress and frustration. And positivity doesn’t simply move you away from a bad mood or get you into a better one, it can build resilience toward stress as well.

 Use Idle Time for Mindfulness 

If you are generally feeling stressed or are stressed because of tedious aspects of your day such as traffic or waiting in long lines, you may find yourself becoming increasingly drained or tense as a result. This may not be an obvious downward spiral, but it is a common way that stress can gain momentum, moving you from a relatively neutral experience into a negative mood. If you are feeling particularly stressed already, these experiences—especially if they are threatening to make you late for your next commitment—can be quite stressful and can put you into a full-blown bad day.

As you move through your day, you can find these mildly stressful “waiting times” and use them as opportunities for stress relief by utilizing them for the practice of mindfulness, meditation, or breathing exercise. Research shows that focusing on the present moment for even a few minutes—the practice of mindfulness—can help you to relieve stress in the present moment as well as in the future. In this way, you are using the mildly frustrating times in your day to your advantage. With practice, you can find yourself even looking forward to slow traffic, long lines, daily chores, and other seeming time wasters.

 Stop and Reframe 

Another way that you can reverse the negative momentum of common daily stressors is by changing the way you think about them. If you find yourself becoming stressed by setbacks, a series of minor setbacks can conspire to put you in a stressed frame of mind, and that can lead into a negative pattern of seeing more of the negative than the positive in everything that follows.

One way that you can reverse this trend is by simply becoming more aware of it, and realizing that you have a choice. You may not have a choice in the specific circumstances of your day—you can’t always choose what crises drop into your lap or what fires need to be put out—but you can choose how you interpret them, to a great extent. By taking your next frustrating situation and actively looking for the benefits that you’ll gain from it, you can reframe it into something more positive. In this way, at least in your mind, you can turn a “bad day” into a “good day,” or a “crisis” into an “opportunity.” Here are some specific ways that you can reframe a stressful situation and reverse what would have been a downward cycle of stress in the process.

 Change Your Script 

Similarly, if you find yourself facing a series of unexpected challenges in your day, you may begin to see most of what happens unexpectedly as a negative rather than as a potential positive. If you automatically see the worst in most of what presents itself to you, you will likely begin to react from a place of negativity and create stress and frustration where it doesn’t need to be. You can spread this negative bias to others, and it can take on a life of its own.

If this sounds familiar, you can purposely change the way you talk to yourself and the way you interpret what happens to you as it’s happening. Rather than expecting bad things to happen and seeing things as mostly negative, you can stop and actively try to expect the best. As you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about what could go wrong, start to think about what can go right. See everything as an opportunity, and then find out what the opportunity is; become determined to find the silver lining in each dark cloud. This is somewhat distinct from mere reframing because you are actively looking for ways to use what is happening in your life to your advantage rather than simply thinking about it in more positive terms. This is easier said than done, but the results are more powerful than they may seem at first, too.

 Replace Stressors With “Pleasures” 

It’s not always possible to cut out every stressor that comes into your life, but there are usually several things that create daily frustration that you could get rid of if you thought about it. These little stressors, known as “tolerations,” are minor energy drains (or sometimes major energy drains) that can take the form of a toxic friend, a cluttered home where things are frequently lost, or an inefficient routine. They are things we tolerate out of habit, but wouldn’t choose if we thought about it. Cutting these things out of your life can have a distinctly positive effect on your stress levels.

Beyond simply eliminating tolerations, however, you can take things a step further to relieve stress in your day. You can replace tolerations with “pleasures,” or things in life that get you into a better mood and give you a little boost of resilience against stress. For example, rather than avoiding a friend that drains you, you can make a concerted effort to spend that same time with a different friend who nurtures and uplifts you. Instead of simply cleaning your cluttered space, you can add little decorative touches that bring you joy or stress relief, such as aromatherapy or a sound system that plays music you love. You get the idea—replace your tolerations with things that make your day better, and you’ll reverse your downward stress spiral into an upward spiral of positivity.

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6 Alternative Treatments for High Blood Pressure

Stress and other factors can lead to high blood pressure, a potentially dangerous health condition. While there are several ways to lower blood pressure, one effective and natural strategy is to use stress relievers that have also been shown to reduce high blood pressure. These stress relievers tend to steer clear of negative side effects and carry with them other health benefits. Learn more about healthy and natural treatments for high blood pressure that also relieve stress and promote overall health at the same time.

1 Meditation 

Meditation is a very effective stress reliever that carries many health benefits as well. Chief among them is lowered blood pressure. If you think of meditation as a challenge, you may be pleased to know that there are different types of meditation, and some include easy strategies for beginners. You can find a practice that works for you.

5 Meditation Techniques to Get You Started

2 Yoga

Yoga is great for your body, mind, and blood pressure. Whether you're able to bend into a pretzel or can barely touch your toes, there are many different levels of yoga, so there's a yoga workout that's perfect for you. Learn about the benefits of yoga and fine the resources you can use to get started.

3 Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) 

Progressive Muscle Relaxation is a very effective stress reliever that can be performed in many places including your office as well as your home, making it convenient as well as effective. It's a great stress reliever as well as a blood pressure reducer. Learn more about PMR and find out how you can get started right now.

4 Breathing Exercises 

Breathing exercises are one of my favorite stress relievers because they c an be done virtually anywhere—even as you navigate stressful situations like conflicts with others and racing to meet deadlines. Because breathing is included in this list, you can probably guess that they can also lower blood pressure. Learn more about how to use breathing exercises to lower blood pressure, relieve stress, and promote overall health.

5 Music Therapy 

Music is a great stress reliever by calming the body and the mind, and has other health benefits as well. Music therapy is a tool used in hospitals to relieve pain and promote healing. Listening to music can speed up or calm down your physiology, and has been shown to aid in lowering blood pressure as well. Learn more about the benefits of music, and find how to use music in your daily life to lower blood pressure and relieve stress.

6 Sex 

Besides being enjoyable, sex can be a very effective stres reliever. Within the context of a healthy relationship, sex brings many benefits for stressed individuals, and has even been shown to bring physical benefits such as lowered blood pressure. Learn more about how stress can affect your sex drive, how sex can be a great stress reliever, and how to get in the mood for sex, even when you're under stress.

7 Natural Treatments 

There are other natural treatments, such as reduced sodium intake, caffeine reduction, supplements, and fitness plans that can help bring lower blood pressure and increased health.

Disclaimer: The information contained on this site is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis or treatment by a licensed physician. It is not meant to cover all possible precautions, drug interactions, circumstances or adverse effects. You should seek prompt medical care for any health issues and consult your doctor before using alternative medicine or making a change to your regimen.

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The Five Stages of Grief

When we lose a loved one, the pain we experience can feel unbearable. Understandably, grief is complicated and we sometimes wonder if the pain will ever end. We go through a variety of emotional experiences such as anger, confusion, and sadness.

A theory developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross suggests that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.1

Illustration by Emily Roberts, Verywell​

 Denial 

The first stage in this theory, denial can help us to minimize the overwhelming pain of loss. As we process the reality of our loss, we are also trying to survive emotional pain. It can be hard to believe we have lost an important person in our lives, especially when we may have just spoken with this person the previous week or even the previous day. Our reality has shifted completely in this moment of loss. It can take our minds some time to adjust to this new reality.

Denial is not only an attempt to pretend that the loss does not exist. We are also trying to absorb and understand what is happening.

We are reflecting on experiences we have shared with the person we lost, and we might find ourselves wondering how to move forward in life without this person. This is a lot of information to explore and a lot of painful imagery to process. Denial attempts to slow this process down and take us through it one step at a time, rather than risk the potential of feeling overwhelmed by our emotions.

 Anger 

it is common for people to experience anger after the loss of a loved one. We are trying to adjust to a new reality and we are likely experiencing extreme emotional discomfort. There is so much to process that anger may feel like it allows us an emotional outlet.

Keep in mind that anger does not require us to be very vulnerable. However, it tends to be more socially acceptable than admitting we are scared. Anger allows us to express emotion with less fear of judgment or rejection.

Unfortunately, anger tends to be the first thing we feel when we start to release emotions related to loss. This can leave you feeling isolated in your experience and perceived as unapproachable by others in moments when we could benefit from comfort, connection, and reassurance.

 Bargaining 

It is common when coping with loss to feel so desperate that you are willing to do almost anything to alleviate or minimize the pain. Losing a loved one can cause us to consider any way we can avoid the current pain or the pain we are anticipating from loss. There are many ways we may try to bargain.

Bargaining can come in a variety of promises including:

"I promise to be better if you will let this person live."

"God, if you can heal this person I will turn my life around."

"I'll never get angry again if you can stop him/her from dying or leaving me."

When bargaining starts to take place, we are often directing our requests to a higher power, or something bigger than we are that may be able to influence a different outcome. There is an acute awareness of our humanness in these moments when we realize there is nothing we can do to influence change or a better outcome. This feeling of helplessness can cause us to react in protest by bargaining, which gives us a perceived sense of control over something that feels so out of control.

While bargaining we also tend to focus on our faults or regrets. We might look back at our interactions with the person we are losing and note all of the times we felt disconnected or may have caused them pain. It is common to recall times when we may have said things we did not mean, and wish we could go back and behave differently. We also tend to make the drastic assumption that if things had played out differently, we would not be in such an emotionally painful place in our lives.

 Depression 

During our experience of processing grief, there comes a time when our imaginations calm down and we slowly start to look at the reality of our present situation. Bargaining no longer feels like an option and we are faced with what is happening. We start to feel more abundantly the loss of our loved one.

As our panic begins to subside, the emotional fog begins to clear and the loss feels more present and unavoidable. In those moments, we tend to pull inward as the sadness grows. We might find ourselves retreating, being less sociable, and reaching out less to others about what we are going through. Although this is a very natural stage of grief, dealing with depression after the loss of a loved one can be extremely isolating.

 Acceptance 

When we come to a place of acceptance, it is not that we no longer feel the pain of loss. However, we are no longer resisting the reality of our situation, and we are not struggling to make it something different. Sadness and regret can still be present in this phase, but the emotional survival tactics of denial, bargaining, and anger are less likely to be present.

 Types of Grief 

As we consider the five stages of grief, it is important to note that people grieve differently and you may or may not go through each of these stages, or experience each of them in order. The lines of these stages are often blurred—we may move from one stage to the other and possibly back again before fully moving into a new stage.

Also, there is no specific period suggested for any of these stages. Someone may experience the stages fairly quickly, such as in a matter of weeks, where another person may take months or even years to move through to a place of acceptance. Whatever time it takes for you to move through these stages is perfectly normal.

Your pain is unique to you, your relationship to the person you lost is unique, and the emotional processing can feel different to each person. It is acceptable for you to take the time you need and remove any expectation of how you should be performing as you process your grief.

 Additional Models 

Although the five stages of grief developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is considered one of the most easily recognizable models of grief and bereavement, there are other models of grief to be noted as well.2 Each model or theory works to explain patterns of how grief can be perceived and processed. Researchers on grief and bereavement hope to use these models to provide understanding to those who are hurting over the loss of a loved one, as well as offer information that can help those in the healing professions provide effective care for those in need of informed guidance. The following are additional examples of theories related to grief.

 Attachment Theory and Grief 

Legendary psychologist John Bowlby focused his work on researching the emotional attachment between parent and child.3 From his perspective, these early experiences of attachment with important people in our lives, such as caregivers, help to shape our sense of safety, security, and connections.

British psychiatrist Colin Murray Parkes developed a model of grief based on Bowlby's theory of attachment, suggesting there are four phases of mourning when experiencing the loss of a loved one:4

Shock and Numbness. Loss in this phase feels impossible to accept. Most closely related to Kübler-Ross's stage of denial, we are overwhelmed when trying to cope with our emotions. Parkes suggests that there is physical distress experienced in this phase as well, which can lead to somatic (physical) symptoms.

Yearning and Searching. As we process loss in this phase, we may begin to look for comfort to fill the void our loved one has left. We may try to do so by reliving memories through pictures and by looking for signs from the person to feel connected to them. In this phase, we become very preoccupied with the person we have lost.

Despair and Disorganization. We may find ourselves questioning and feeling angry in this phase. The realization that our loved one is not returning feels real, and we can have a difficult time understanding or finding hope in our future. We may feel a bit aimless in this phase and find that we retreat from others as we process our pain.

Reorganization and Recovery. As we move into this phase, our life feels more hopeful. We may begin to feel like our hearts and minds can be restored. As with Kübler-Ross's acceptance stage, this phase of reorganization and recovery does not mean that we will not still feel sadness or longing for our loved one. However, this phase offers us a place of healing and reconnecting with important people in our lives for support. We find small ways to reestablish a sense of normalcy in our lives daily.

 How to Help 

 Avoid Rescuing or Fixing 

It can be so difficult to know what to say to someone who has experienced loss. We do our best to offer comfort, but sometimes our best efforts can feel inadequate and unhelpful. One thing to remember is that the person who is grieving does not need to be fixed. In our attempts to be helpful, we tend to try to rescue people from their pain so they will feel better. We provide uplifting, hopeful comments or even try to offer them humor to help ease their pain. Although the intention is positive, this approach can leave people feeling as if their pain is not seen, heard, or valid.

 Don't Force It 

Another method people often use that tends to go wrong is forcing people to talk about their pain when they are not ready. We want so much to help and for the person to feel better, so we believe that nudging them to talk and process their emotions will help them faster. This is not necessarily true, and it can be an obstacle to their healing.

 Make Yourself Accessible 

One of the most helpful things we can do is to offer space for people to grieve. In doing this, we are letting the person know that we are available and accessible when they are ready to talk. We can invite them to talk with us, but remember to provide understanding and validation if they are not ready to talk just yet. At that point, you can remind them that you are available when they feel ready and not to hesitate to come to you.

 A Word From Verywell 

It is important to remember that everyone copes with loss differently. While you may find that you experience all five stages of grief, you may also find that it is difficult to classify your feelings into any one of the stages. Have patience with yourself and your feelings in dealing with loss. Allow yourself time to process all of your emotions, and when you are ready to speak about your experiences with loved ones or a healthcare professional, do so. If you are supporting someone who has lost a loved one, remember that you don't need to do anything specific, but allow them room to talk about it when they are ready.

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How To Reduce The Effects Of Stress On Your Life

We all experience stress in our lives. Because the vast majority of health problems are caused or influenced by stress, it's important to understand how stress affects your body and learn effective stress management techniques to make stress work for you rather than against you.

 What Is Stress? 

Stress is your body’s response to changes in your life. Because life involves constant change (ranging from changing locations from home to work each morning to adapting to major life changes like marriage, divorce, or death of a loved one), there is no avoiding stress.1 This is why your goal shouldn't be to eliminate all stress but to eliminate unnecessary stress and effectively manage the rest. There are some common causes of stress that many people experience, but each person is different.

 Causes of Stress 

Stress can come from many sources, which are known as "stressors." Because our experience of what is considered "stressful" is created by our unique perceptions of what we encounter in life (based on our mix of personality traits, available resources, habitual thought patterns), a situation may be perceived as "stressful" by one person and merely "challenging" by someone else.

Simply put, one person's stress trigger may not register as stressful to someone else. That said, certain situations tend to cause more stress in most people and can increase the risk of burnout. For example, when we find ourselves in situations where there are high demands on us; where we have little control and few choices; where we don't feel equipped; where we may be harshly judged by others; and where consequences for failure are steep or unpredictable, we tend to get stressed.

Because of this, many people are stressed by their jobs, their relationships, their financial issues, health problems, and more mundane things like clutter or busy schedules. Learning skills to cope with these stressors can help reduce your experience of stress.1

 Effects of Stress 

Just as stress is perceived differently by each of us, stress affects us all in ways that are unique to us.

One person may experience headaches, while another may find stomach upset is a common reaction, and a third may experience any of some other symptoms. While we all react to stress in our ways, there is a long list of commonly experienced effects of stress that range from mild to life-threatening. Stress can affect immunity, which can impact virtually all areas of health. Stress can affect mood in many ways as well.1

 Effective Stress Management 

Stress can be effectively managed in many different ways. The best stress management plans usually include a mix of stress relievers that address stress physically and psychologically and help to develop resilience and coping skills.

7 Highly Effective Stress Relievers

Use quick stress relievers. Some stress relief techniques can work in just a few minutes to calm the body's stress response. These techniques offer a "quick fix" that helps you feel calmer at the moment, and this can help in several ways. When your stress response is not triggered, you may approach problems more thoughtfully and proactively. You may be less likely to lash out at others out of frustration, which can keep your relationships healthier. Nipping your stress response in the bud can also keep you from experiencing chronic stress.

Quick stress relievers like breathing exercises, for example, may not build your resilience to future stress or minimize the stressors that you face, but they can help calm the body's physiology once the stress response is triggered.2

Develop stress-relieving habits. Some techniques are less convenient to use when you are in the middle of a stressful situation. But if you practice them regularly, they can help you manage stress in general by being less reactive to it and more able to reverse your stress response quickly and easily.

Long-term healthy habits, like exercise or regular meditation, can help to promote resilience toward stressors if you make them a regular part of your life.3 Communication skills and other lifestyle skills can help manage stressors and change how we feel from "overwhelmed" to "challenged" or even "stimulated."

Eliminate stressors when you can. You may not be able to eliminate stress from your life or even the biggest stressors, but there are areas where you can minimize it and get it to a manageable level. Any stress that you can cut out can minimize your overall stress load. For example, ending even one toxic relationship can help you more effectively deal with other stress you experience because you may feel less overwhelmed.4

Discovering a wide variety of stress management techniques, and then choosing a mix that fits your needs, can be a key strategy for effective stress relief.

 Frequently Asked Questions About Stress 

 Is Stress Inevitably Harmful to Health? 

Actually, no. There are several different types of stress that range from eustress, which is a positive and exciting form of stress, to chronic stress, which has been linked to many serious health issues and is the type of negative stress most often mentioned in the news.1 While we want to manage or eliminate the negative types of stress, we also want to keep positive forms of stress in our lives to help us remain vital and alive. However, if we experience too much stress in our lives, even "good" stress can contribute to excessive stress levels, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed or having your stress response triggered for too long. This is why it is still important to learn to relax your body and mind periodically and cut down on unnecessary stress whenever possible.

 How Can I Tell When I’m Too Stressed? 

Stress affects us all in different ways, not all of which are negative. (In fact, the stress of an exciting life can serve as a good motivator and keep things interesting.) When stress levels get too intense, however, there are some stress symptoms that many people experience. For example, headaches, irritability, and ‘fuzzy thinking’ can all be symptoms that you’re under too much stress.1 While not everybody who’s under stress will experience these specific symptoms, many wills. If you find that you don't realize how stressed you are until you are overwhelmed, it's important to learn to notice your body's subtle cues and your behaviour, almost like an outside observer might. To notice how your body is reacting to stress, you can try this body scan meditation (it helps relax at the same time).

 What Can I Do When I Feel Overwhelmed by Stress? 

We all feel overwhelmed from time to time; that’s normal. While it’s virtually impossible to eliminate times when events conspire and the body’s stress response is triggered, there are ways that you can quickly reverse your body’s reaction to stress, buffering the damage to your health and keeping your thinking clear, so you can more effectively deal with what’s going on in the moment.

 Is There a Way to Be Less Affected by Stress? 

Actually, by practising a regular stress management technique or two, you can eliminate some of the stress you feel right now and make yourself more resilient in the face of stress in the future. There are several different things you can try, ranging from a morning walk to an evening journaling practise to just making more time for friends. The trick is to find something that fits with your lifestyle and personality, so it’s easier to stick with.

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When Stress Is Actually Good for You

We rarely hear people say, "I'm feeling stressed. Isn't that great?" But if we didn't have some stress in our lives—the "good stress" variety—we'd feel rudderless and unhappy. If we define stress as anything that alters our homeostasis, then good stress, in its many forms, is vital for a healthy life. Bad stress can even turn into good stress, and vice versa.

 Good Stress vs. Bad Stress 

"Good stress," or what psychologists refer to as "eustress," is the type of stress we feel when we feel excited. Our pulse quickens and our hormones surge, but there is no threat or fear. We feel this type of stress when we ride a roller coaster, compete for a promotion, or go on a first date. There are many triggers for this good stress, and it keeps us feeling alive and excited about life.

Another type of stress is acute stress. It comes from quick surprises that need a response. Acute stress triggers the body's stress response as well, but the triggers aren't always happy and exciting. This is what we normally think of as "stress" (or "bad stress"). Acute stress in itself doesn't take a heavy toll if we find ways to relax quickly. Once the stressor has been dealt with, we need to return our body to homeostasis, or its pre-stress state, to be healthy and happy.1

Chronic stress is another form of bad stress. It occurs when we repeatedly face stressors that take a heavy toll and feel inescapable. A stressful job or an unhappy home life can bring chronic stress. This is what we normally think of as serious stress. Because our bodies aren't designed for chronic stress, we can face negative health effects (both physical and emotional) if we deal with chronic stress for an extended period .1

 Sources of Good Stress 

Yes, you can add good stress to your life! Ideally, you choose activities and set goals that make you feel good, happy, and excited. To gauge whether or not an activity is worth your time, pay attention to how the thought of it makes you feel. Do you feel excited? Is it a "want to," or a "have to"? Be sure your "want to" activities are all things you do want to do, and your "have to" activities are all necessary.

 How Good Stress Can Become Bad Stress 

Good stress can become bad for you if you experience too much of it. (Adrenaline junkies know this firsthand.) This is because your stress response is triggered either way, and if you're adding that to chronic stress, or several other stressors, there is a cumulative effect.

Be in tune with yourself and acknowledge when you've had too much. You may not be able to eliminate all stress, but there are often ways that you can minimize or avoid some of the stress in your life, and this can make it easier to handle the rest.

 How Bad Stress Can Become Good Stress 

Not all forms of bad stress can become good stress, but it is possible to change your perception of some of the stressors in your life. This shift can change your experience of stress.

The body's stress response reacts strongly to perceived threats. If you don't perceive something as a threat, there is generally no threat-based stress response. If you perceive something as a challenge instead, the fear you would normally experience may turn into excitement and anticipation, or at least resolve. You can often make the shift in perception by:1

Focusing on the resources you have to meet the challenge

Seeing the potential benefits of a situation

Reminding yourself of your strengths

Having a positive mindset 

As you practice looking at threats as challenges more often, it becomes more automatic, and you experience more good stress and less bad stress.

 A Word From Verywell 

Overall, it's important to have good stress in your life. Make an effort to cut out as much chronic stress as possible. Change your perception of stress where you can, and add positive activities to promote eustress. Together, these strategies help you create a healthy balance in your life.

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How Stress Can Cause Weight Gain ?

Stress can have a serious impact on how much you weigh. Sometimes it can lead to weight loss. Other times, it can lead to serious weight gain.1

A stressful event, like the loss of a loved one, a divorce, or a financial crisis may lead to the weight change. Chronic stress may also lead to weight change over time.

 Why Weight Change Happens 

Stressful experiences may lead to a change inhabits. Someone going through a tough time may lose their appetite and skip meals.

Chronic stress may lead to an increase in appetite—and an increase in cravings for unhealthy food. Slowly, for several months or even a year, the weight gain may accumulate.

Weight change may also result due to hormonal changes triggered by stress. The body's response to stress has been linked to changes in metabolism, insulin, and fat storage.2

 The Link Between Stress and Cortisol 

Stress triggers a fight or flight response in your body.3 This response releases hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol.4

Adrenaline prepares your body to take action and minimizes your desire to eat.5

Once the adrenaline effects wear off, cortisol, also known as the stress hormone, hangs around. Cortisol temporarily suppresses functions that are non-essential, such as your digestive, immune, and reproductive responses.

When you have more cortisol in your system, you may crave less healthy food options like snacks containing high sugar and fat content.

 Stress and Metabolism Speed 

A 2015 study conducted by researchers at Ohio State University found that stress was linked to a slower metabolism in women.

Researchers questioned women about the previous day's stressors before feeding them a high-fat, high-calorie meal. Then, the scientists measured their metabolic rate and examined their blood sugar, triglycerides, insulin, and cortisol levels.

They found that on average, women who reported one or more stressor during the previous 24 hours burned 104 fewer calories than the non-stressed women. That difference might mean a weight gain of almost 11 pounds in one year.

Stressed women also had higher levels of insulin, which contributes to the storage of fat. They also had less fat oxidation, which is the conversion of large fat molecules into smaller molecules that can be used as fuel. The fat that is not burned is stored.6

Excessive stress even affects where we tend to store fat. Higher levels of stress are linked to greater levels of abdominal fat, which can be particularly tough to shed.

This is particularly bad news because abdominal fat is also linked to greater health risks than fat stored in other areas of the body.7

So even if you aren't eating more than usual, experiencing high levels of stress may cause you to gain weight.

 Stress-Induced Eating Habits 

High-stress levels may also lead to changes in your behaviour that contribute to weight gain. Here are some of the most common dietary changes people experience when they're stressed:

Consuming High-Fat, High-Sugar Foods: People experiencing chronic stress tend to crave more fatty, salty and sugary foods. This includes sweets, processed food and other things that aren’t as good for you. These foods are typically less healthy and lead to increased weight gain.

Eating Emotionally: Increased levels of cortisol can not only make you crave unhealthy food, but excess nervous energy can often cause you to eat more than you normally would.8 You might find that snacking or reaching for a second helping provides you with some temporary relief from your stress.

Eating More Fast Food: When you're stressed out, you're more likely to forgo healthy dinners at home in favour of fast food. Fast food and even healthier restaurant fare can both be higher in sugar and fat—with larger portion sizes.

Being Too Busy to Exercise: With all the demands on your schedule, exercise may be one of the last things on your to-do list. If so, you’re not alone. A long commute, hours spent sitting behind a desk, and time spent staring at the TV might leave little opportunity for physical activity.

Forgetting Water: You might forget to drink water when you're busy dealing with the challenges of life. It's easy to confuse thirst for hunger and you might eat more when you're not drinking enough.

Skipping Meals: When you are juggling a dozen things at once, eating a healthy meal often drops down in priorities. You might find yourself skipping breakfast because you're running late or not eating lunch because there's just too much on your to-do list.

Trying Fad Diets: Weight gain leads some people to intentionally eat less food than they need, or try dangerous fad diets to lose the excess weight. Diets that aren’t balanced with fruits and vegetables, protein and healthy carbohydrates can often be bad for your health in the long run, even if they look attractive short term.

Sleeping Less: Many people report trouble sleeping when they're stressed. And research has linked sleep deprivation to a slower metabolism. Feeling overtired can also reduce willpower and contribute to unhealthy eating habits.

 How to Break the Cycle of Stress and Weight Gain 

It can be stressful when your clothes don't fit well and the number on the scale is higher than you'd like it to be. And the more stressed you feel, the more likely you are to gain weight. It's a tough cycle to break.

Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to combat stress-related weight changes. Here are a few strategies that can help you regulate your weight:

Make exercise a priority. Exercise is a key component of stress reduction and weight management. It can help you address both issues simultaneously so it's a critical component in warding off stress-related weight gain. Whether you go for a walk during your lunch break or you go to the gym after work, incorporate regular exercise into your routine.

Be mindful about what you eat. Paying attention to your eating habits can help you gain control over your food consumption. A 2011 review of studies that examined the link between self-monitoring and weight loss found that individuals who keep a food journal are more likely to manage their weight.9 So whether you use an app to track your food intake or you write down everything you consume in a food diary, being more mindful of what you put in your mouth could improve your eating habits.

Incorporate stress-relief strategies into your daily life. Whether you enjoy yoga or you find solace in reading a good book, incorporate stress relief strategies into your daily routine. This can reduce your cortisol levels and help you manage your weight.

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An Overview of Meditation

Meditation has become one of the most popular ways to relieve stress among people of all walks of life. This age-old practice, which can take many forms and may or may not be combined with many spiritual practices, can be used in several important ways.

It can be a quick-fix stress reliever to help you reverse your body's stress response and physically relax.

It can be a part of your daily routine and help you build resilience to stress.

It can be a technique you use to get centred when you're thrown off by emotional stress. ​

A form of meditation can even be used for weight loss and healthier eating.

By learning to calm your body and mind, your physical and emotional stress can melt away. This leaves you feeling better, refreshed, and ready to face the challenges of your day with a healthy attitude. With regular practice over weeks or months, you can experience even greater benefits.

 What Does Meditation Involve? 

Meditation involves sitting in a relaxed position and clearing your mind, or focusing your mind on one thought and clearing it of all others. You may focus on a sound, like "ooommm," or on your breathing, counting, a mantra, or nothing at all. A common thread among the many meditation techniques is that the mind stops following every new thought that comes to the surface.

It’s generally necessary to have at least five to 20 distraction-free minutes to spend, though meditation sessions can be any length. Longer meditation sessions tend to bring greater benefits, but it is usually best to start slowly so you can maintain the practice long-term. Many people find that if they try to meditate for too long each session or create a "perfect" practice it can become intimidating or daunting, and they find it more challenging to keep as a daily habit. It is far better to create the habit and work it into a more thorough version of that habit.

It’s helpful to have silence and privacy, but more experienced meditators can practise meditation anywhere. Many practitioners of meditation attach a spiritual component to it, but it can also be a secular exercise. There is no wrong way to meditate.

 What Can Meditation Do for Stress Management? 

Throughout the day, when we experience stress, our bodies automatically react in ways that prepare us to fight or run. This is your body's stress response, otherwise known as your fight-or-flight response. In some cases of extreme danger, this physical response is helpful. However, a prolonged state of such agitation can cause physical damage to every part of the body.

Meditation affects the body in exactly the opposite ways that stress does—by triggering the body's relaxation response. It restores the body to a calm state, helping the body repair itself and preventing new damage from the physical effects of stress. It can calm your mind and body by quieting the stress-induced thoughts that keep your body's stress response triggered. There is an element of more direct physical relaxation involved in meditation as well, obviously, so this double dose of relaxation can help shrug off stress.

A greater gain that meditation can bring is the long-term resilience that can come with regular practice.

Research has shown that those who practice meditation regularly begin to experience changes in their response to stress that allow them to recover from stressful situations more easily and experience less stress from the challenges they face in their everyday lives.

Some of this is thought to be the result of the increase in a positive mood that can come from meditation; research shows that those who experience positive moods more often are more resilient toward stress. Other research has found changes in the brains of regular meditation practitioners that are linked with a decreased reactivity toward stress.

The practice of learning to refocus your thoughts can also help you redirect yourself when you fall into negative thinking patterns, which in itself can help relieve stress. Meditation offers several solutions in one simple activity.

 More Benefits of Meditation 

The benefits of meditation are great because, among other things, it can reverse your stress response, thereby shielding you from the effects of chronic stress.

When practising meditation:

Your heart rate and breathing slow down.

Your blood pressure normalizes.

You use oxygen more efficiently.

Your immune function improves.

You sweat less.

Your adrenal glands produce less cortisol.

Your mind ages at a slower rate.

Your mind clears and your creativity increases.

People who meditate regularly find it easier to give up life-damaging habits like smoking, drinking, and drugs. They also find it easier to stop rumination from ruining their day. It helps many people connect to a place of inner strength. Numerous studies have found that, in diverse populations, meditation can minimize stress and build resilience. Meditation research is still relatively new, but promising.

 How Does Meditation Compare to Other Stress Reduction Methods? 

Unlike some medications and herbal therapies, meditation has few potential side effects.

People with physical limitations may find it easier to practice than strenuous physical exercise for stress relief. Plus, no special equipment is required.

Unlike enlisting the help of a professional, meditation is free.

It does take discipline and commitment to make meditation a regular habit. Some people find it more difficult to maintain as a habit than methods that enlist the help of someone or something outside themselves for added motivation. (If you are one of these people, finding a meditation group may be the perfect solution.)

Some people may find it more difficult to free their minds from the thoughts of the day. This may make it more difficult than methods that involve focusing on these events, like journaling, or methods that are distracting, like physical exercise or the use of humour.

 The Pros And Cons of Meditation 

Meditation is wonderful in that it’s free, always available, and amazingly effective in short-term stress reduction and long-term health. The benefits can be felt in just one session.

An experienced teacher can be helpful but isn't necessary. You can learn many effective meditation techniques from a book or the meditation resources right here on Verywell. Ultimately, if you can focus on your breath, on the present moment, or any one thing for a while, you can now meditate.

It does often take some practice, however, and some people find it difficult to "get it" in the beginning. Meditation also requires a little patience and may be difficult for people with little free time (like some stay-at-home mothers who get very little privacy from small children). However, the time and effort it takes to learn and practice are well worth it in terms of the benefits it provides.

 4 Things to Keep in Mind About Meditation 

Consistent practice matters more than long practice. This means that it's better to meditate for five minutes, six times per week than for 30 minutes once a week. The former can calm your body's stress response several times in a week, while the latter may calm your body into a deeper state of relaxation, but it will only reverse your stress response once. Besides, you are more likely to stick with a regular meditation practice if you can start with short, daily sessions than if you feel you need to find time for longer sessions to practice. It is more likely that this self-imposed pressure will lead to you not finding time for it, then losing the motivation to try.

Regular practice matters more than "perfect" practice. This means that, rather than concerning yourself too much about what position to sit in, what technique to try when you sit, how long to sit, or what time of day, you should just sit and meditate. The rest will fall into place if you just begin, but if you feel the need to work these details out before you can start, you may find it more challenging to get started at all. There is no "wrong" way to meditate anyway; any meditation is better than none.

If you notice your mind wandering, that's good. Meditation can be challenging for some people, particularly perfectionists. We sometimes fall into the trap of wanting to do it "right" and becoming frustrated with ourselves when our mind drifts off. The thing to remember is that if you notice this happening, that's a good thing—you noticed. Noticing and redirecting your thoughts back to the focus of your meditation (your breath, the present moment, or whatever you are choosing as your focus) is the real point of meditation. It's virtually impossible to prevent your mind from wandering anyway.

Even long-time meditation practitioners find it challenging. This may come as a surprise, but even those who have been meditating for years can find it hard to stay present. This is perfectly normal for anyone. It's all part of meditation, so don't let it discourage you.

 Get Started With Meditation 

Many forms of meditation bring these fantastic benefits. Some may feel more comfortable for you to practice than others, so it's a great idea to try a sampling of them and repeat the techniques that seem to fit best for you.

If you practice meditation while you are not in the midst of a stressful situation, you will find it easier to use it as a calming technique when you need it. Even if you plan to use it only as needed and not as a daily exercise, it is a good idea to practice meditation when you aren't feeling particularly stressed first, rather than trying it for the first time when you're feeling overwhelmed—unless, of course, you can't find a time when you don't feel this way.

The most important thing to remember is to practice meditation for a few minutes per day and to try to sit for at least five minutes each session.

If you don't know where to start, you may simply focus on listening to your breathing for five minutes. To do this, relax your body, sit comfortably, and notice your breath. If you find yourself thinking of other things, simply redirect your attention back to your breath.

Another simple strategy is to count your breaths. When you inhale, count "one" in your head, and then count "two" as you exhale. Keep going as you breathe and start over at "one" if you notice you've become distracted by other thoughts. (Some people will find this easier to practice than the simple breathing meditation, and others will find it more challenging. Remember, your best meditation techniques are the ones that resonate with you.) May you find the relief you seek.

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What Is Kundalini Meditation?

As you go through your day, how much of your behavior is on "auto-pilot" and how much is intentional? If you're like most people, you probably do a lot of things without thinking, and likely react to your environment most of the time rather than being intentional about your thoughts and behaviors.

However, if you want to live your life on a higher plane, it's important to "slow down and smell the roses," so to speak. One way to enter this state of slowing down is to practice meditation. And one specific form of meditation that may be particularly helpful is Kundalini, which means primal energy. Kundalini meditation is a way of channeling your energy and releasing yourself from stress.

 Origin of Kundalini Meditation  

What is the origin of Kundalini meditation? It dates back to the year 1968 when Yogi Bhajan left India to travel to the West with the purpose of teaching others how to practice and spreading awareness of meditative techniques. Up until this point, there had been much secrecy surrounding meditation, and Yogi Bhajan was determined to change that.

This was particularly relevant during a period in which there was a transition to an "information age," in which people were experiencing great chaos and sometimes pain. Instead of moving through life in a low-level state, meditation was the path to approaching the world with a more positive mindset. While that was true 50 years ago, it's also true today.

 Purpose of Kundalini Meditation  

Kundalini meditation is part of Kundalini yoga and is meant to move energy through the body. It is thought that energy at the base of the spine (also known as the root chakra) needs to be released through the seven chakras of the body and then out through the crown chakra above the head.

This process of releasing energy from the body has the aim of creating a system of communication between the mind and body to relieve mental, physical, and spiritual issues. This system of bringing awareness to the body by connecting with your breath allows you to be present, establish a new rhythm, and communicate with a higher version of yourself.

Just like taking a shower each day cleanses your physical body, yogis view Kundalini meditation as a way to cleanse your mind. It's a way to rejuvenate after a stressful day or to manage stress in the moment. It helps to balance your energy and calm your mind so that you're no longer just reacting to the thoughts that you have.

In this way, Kundalini meditation is not a set of beliefs or religion; rather, it's a system for evoking energy and creating mind-body awareness.

 Benefits of Kundalini Meditation  

What are the benefits of learning to practice Kundalini meditation? They can be summarized as bringing more awareness to your daily life; specifically, this can be seen in any of the following different ways:

Helping you to redirect yourself out of stress and into peace

Teaching you the proper way to breathe (into your diaphragm) and expanding your lung capacity

Aiding concentration and preventing random thoughts from throwing you off balance

Energizing cognitive functioning

Creating awareness of the body

Breaking your automatic daily routines and bringing you into awareness

Changes to your brain patterns and emotional balance

Bringing balance to mind, body, and soul

Helping to strengthen your nervous system

Building up your creative energy for projects in your life

 How to Practice Kundalini Meditation  

How do you actually go about practicing Kundalini mediation? Below are the steps you should follow to begin a very basic practice. Remember that it's better to start small with something that you think you can follow through on every day than to begin a practice that feels overwhelming.

Even five minutes each day of Kundalini meditation is likely to help you, so don't underestimate the value of even this most basic practice.

 1. Choose a Location  

This should be a spot that you find peaceful and where you are not likely to be bothered. It could be a spot where you gather your favorite things. Keep a bottle of water beside you.

 2. Choose What to Wear  

You should wear loose, comfortable, cotton clothing and potentially a head covering like a cotton shawl. Your clothes should be clean, fresh, and possibly light in color to enhance the feeling of lightness.

 3. Choose When to Practice  

You could practice first thing in the morning if this is when you are least likely to be disturbed. Or, you could practice before bed at night as a way of winding down from your day. Do not meditate afte a big meal, as the blood in your body will be diverted away from your brain at that time.

 4. Get into Position  

Sit on the floor cross-legged or sit in a chair with your weight resting on your feet. Be sure to sit upright with a straight spine. Close your eyes softly so that they are about 90% closed. You can choose to sit on a wool or cotton blanket or put a pillow underneath you for comfort.

 5. Choose the Length of Practice  

This could be anywhere from 3 minutes to 2.5 hours. Some common choices of times are 11 minutes, 15 minutes, 22 minutes, 31 minutes, etc.

 6. Choose a Mantra  

While you breathe, you will be chanting a mantra to help you focus. One good example for beginners is the mantra "Sat Nam" which means "truth is my identity." Chant "Sat" when you inhale and "Nam" when you exhale. You can choose to chant out loud, in a loud whisper, or silently in your head. The purpose of chanting is to direct your energy. Actively listen to yourself if you are chanting out loud, or visualize the mantra being written down if you are chanting silently in your head. You can also call on your mantra at other times of the day if you are feeling stressed. The point of a mantra is to break out of old patterns, so the mantra should always reflect the state that you want to be in rather than the one you are in now.

 7. Start to Focus on Your Breath  

Notice your breathing and gradually start to slow it down. Your goal will be for one round of inhaling and exhaling to last about 7 to 8 seconds. Break your inhale and exhale into segments, such that you do short inhales or exhales broken up by pauses. You can do this so that there are four segments of both inhales and exhales during a complete breath. Breath through your nose the entire time. If you feel dizzy at any point, then stop the practice.

 8. Feel the Breath Moving  

As you are practicing your breathing and chanting, focus on how your breath is moving through your body and helping you to feel more relaxed.

 9. Finish the Meditation  

Complete the mediation by inhaling deeply, pushing your palms together or raising your arms in the air, and then relaxing and exhaling.

 10. Gradually Increase Your Meditation  

Gradually, you should find it easier to increase the length of time that you meditate. As you practice, focus on letting thoughts come and go, and watch for a feeling of energy move along your spine and a feeling of euphoria in your body.

 Research on Kundalini Meditation  

Overall, research on Kundalini meditation is in its early stages. It has been suggested that Kundalini meditation might be helpful for a variety of mental health conditions including the following:

addiction

depression

fatigue

grief

learning disorders

phobias

sleep disorders

anxiety

obsessions and compulsions

There is some evidence of the effectiveness of this type of meditation specifically for people with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) (an 8-week intervention led to lower anxiety than a treatment as usual group) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

 A Word From Verywell  

If you are interested in learning how to practice Kundalini meditation to improve your mindfulness in daily life, it's important that you start making small changes at first. Don't give up if it feels hard to meditate or as though you cannot quiet your mind. It's only with practice that this will become easier.

At first, even just two minutes of meditation might feel like a struggle. However, with time and practice, it will be easier to call yourself into a meditative state. And, once you have that ability, it will translate into other areas of your life, making it easier to manage thoughts, emotions, and behaviors rather than just reacting blindly to what happens to you.