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"Anti-Woke" Star Wars Bros: Disney inserted their leftist politics into Star Wars!

George Lucas: I named the cowardly and corrupt leader of the evil Trade Federation "Nute Gunray" after Republican Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich and Ronald Reagan.

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I think the most hilarious place to put Post-Canon Sokka would have been the university at Ba Sing Se. I think he would have made a great unhinged professor. Also, in true Sokka fashion, he should have completely dodged fame. Momo is more famous than he is.

He wants to demonstrate to the class how this thing called electricity works, so he's going to be bringing in a Firebender, so everybody be cool, we're all friends here... and in walks Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. One-time conqueror of the city. One of the students is currently writing an essay on how her brief rule of the city affected fruit trade. She says she considers the class to still be her subjects as she doesn't acknowledge any pretenders to any of her thrones, but for now you're exempted from bowing and "Your Highness" will do. It's a really interesting lecture.

"Okay, guys - hey, listen up, everyone - I won't be here next week, me and Aang are going to-" yeah right, sure, Professor Sokka knows the Avatar. Except, of course, the Avatar walks in sheepishly and says that Appa might have gotten into Sokka's hybrid crops, and then you all have to sit there and watch your professor chase the Avatar around with a sword.

One postgrad student is specializing in Water Tribe Cultures. She's currently studying the massive cultural shift that happened in the Northern Water Tribe at the end of the war - oh, and Professor, I absolutely know that you're from the Southern Water Tribe, but it's just that the shift started with Master Katara, and of course I don't think that every person from the South knows one another haha it's just that I need to ask her some questions and I thought maybe you could help me write a letter or write a letter of introduction or...

Sokka looks at her blankly and goes "yeah, she's my sister. KATARA!" which is followed by a faint answering "fuck you!" from Somewhere and to the horror/elation of our postgrad, Master Katara bursts in and is promptly beaned in the head with a rock by Professor Sokka. Her brother. her hero and her professor are siblings and currently brawling on the floor.

Sokka does not teach or study history, but he does sometimes sit in on lectures about recent history. Whenever he does, several doctoral students flock in to sit near him (even if it's an intro course) so that they can eavesdrop on his grumbling. (No matter how they try, an "overheard utterance" is not a valid source according to their professors. No, we have no sources on the Avatar's bison taking part in combat - sky bison are not war animals and...)

He gets regular deliveries with the Beifong family crest on them, and he goes "sweet, Toph must have found some new minerals" and at this point nobody needs to ask which Toph. He seems to have friends everywhere, literally everywhere. Wang was headed out to this massive swamp to study if it's one big organism, and Sokka told him to find some guy named Hue and "don't mind the loincloth." One time the university gets shut down because the Earth King wants to visit. Oh, visit the University? What an honor- Of fucking course not, he wants to visit Professor Sokka, who yells at him and his royal guards for interrupting his day. The Earth King and his many, many royal guards then sheepishly say sorry and file out.

The last straw is when - not a week after he yelled at the Earth King - the assistant head of the Political Science dept walks in to the faculty lounge to find Sokka having tea with a nice normal man dressed in Earth greens for once, and can't resist a little joke. "Let me guess, you're having tea with the Fire Lord." And then she can instantly tell that she fucked up, because both of them go stock still.

So when the two men awkwardly stand up and proceed to introduce the Fire Lord whose portrait she has in her office because she is the assistant head of Political Science as Li, a server at the Jasmine Dragon, she just says "hello Li" and leaves to find a bottle of something strong.

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Murderbot is probably the most embarrassing hyperfixation to have because oh really? You're hyperfixated on the 'hyperfixates on media to avoid the real world stress and anxiety' media? Is it. Is it to avoid your real world stress and anxiety, perhaps??

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EDDIE. EDDIE IT’S PEOPLE. EDDIE WE’RE EATING PEOPLE.

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“Why did sokka bring zuko to the boiling rock but not katara (boiling) or toph (rock). He is so stupid and I am very smart.” well you see there is actually a very simple explanation for this. which is that sokka thought there was a very good chance that he was going to die there. and he does not want katara and toph to die. because he likes them or something. whereas he didn’t really mind if zuko died. because outside of fanfiction world he didn’t really care for that guy .

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5 seconds into the new Murderbot novel and I had to pause reading to make this

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I love how in disney cartoons when a prince is like "father I have met a mysterious forest woman and she is the love of my life and I cannot possibly marry who you wish me to" the king is always like "No!!!!! you can't fall in love with a forest woman!!!!!! you must marry a princess!!!!!" instead of what a king would have said in real life, which is "why are you telling me about the forest woman. this has no impact whatsoever on your marriage to the princess. we all have a forest woman. it's 1183 and we're barbarians"

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Sokka and Zuko get SO much funnier when you remember this is both of their first times talking to another teenage boy in years. Sokka had all the other boys leave the tribe when he was little and Zuko just hasn’t talked to other teenage boys. They wanna be friends but have absolutely no clue how to talk to other teenagers. I love them so much.

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I said that last comic primed me for a sitcom about Skywalkers and their ghosts. Leia vs. Vader Comic (previous)

Skywalker Sibling Comic

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Sometimes Tumblr is a lot like trying to explain a toddler that you can't eat bugs and spiders because that's bad for you, and then someone shows up to lecture you about how spiders are a completely different class from insects, also you got "centipede" and "millipede" mixed up, so obviously you don't know anything about what you're talking about.

And if you try to answer like "do you want me to just let this kid just eat bugs or what", they'll get offended because correcting you about being wrong has nothing to do with implying that anyone would be eating bugs off the ground, obviously nobody is stupid enough to be doing that in the first place, that's a straw man and insulting to every group of people ever.

And then you look up at the other side of the yard and the toddler is there right back at it, slurping up centipedes like spagetti.

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I just found one of the most ridiculous playsets I've ever seen.

Look, you too can have a tiny Tsar Nicholas II doll with his throne, to oppress your peasants, kill a bunch of your subjects in stupid wars, and drive a huge wave of Jewish immigration to the US because of violent antisemitism.

The movie just kind of goes with "The Tsar's family was killed for Undead Evil Wizard reasons, because Rasputin" - I don't think the Royal Diaries book about Anastasia, which is also for kids, talks about WHY it's all happening at all - but it all kind of leads to this "Why did they want to overthrow the Tsar anyway?" " . . . Reasons."

It's like if they had an animated movie where Henry VIII was a minor character and totally glossed over the whole thing with the English Reformation and how he executed tens of thousands of his own people. Absolutely bizarre historical figure to make in toy form.

I LIKE the movie - A+ villain song! - but if you know things about the actual history involved the dissonance between it and the movie is kind of funny.

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some loser: humans are innately selfish creatures

my psych book:

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the funniest part of much ado is after claudio and hero get engaged and beatrice is like “meanwhile I’m over here!!! forever alone!!! I wish someone like don pedro would ask me to marry him haha!!” and don pedro is like “would you like me to marry you?” and beatrice says no.

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i cant believe that there's still gamergate STANK on games that women enjoy. NASTY misogyny residue. stardew valley is in fact a video game. animal crossing is also a video game. so are otome games and dating sims and twee little cozy games. sometimes a bitch doesnt wanna play bloodborne that shit's hard