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chaos-makes-themuse · 3 years ago

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Loving Leah Clearwater.

Starting slowly. Leah, at this point in her life, is a very guarded woman…so imprinting is a weird sort of thing for her. She wants it and dreads it, loves it and hates it, feeling all of the feelings at the same time. So when she finally finds you, it’s a mixed feeling, a need to be near you and a need to run…and a fear of being hurt again.

It’s hard, getting over a heartbreak like the one that haunts her. One never quite forgets it.

But although anyone else would consider the brooding woman to be intimidating, you’re somehow drawn to her.

She’ll pull you close at times and pull away from you at others but the longer that you stay beside her, the tighter Leah holds on. It’s a strange thing, yes, but it’s also a little bit wonderful and she’s finding herself in it all.

Bit by bit, she opens up. It’s hard and it takes a while but you will always say that Leah was worth it all.

All of it.

You become friends and then best friends. She’s spending more and more time with you, sneaking out into the night and wandering with you by her side…she tells you everything and you listen to her, you make her feel understood, something she so desperately needs. And Leah hungrily eats up everything about you, she wants to know it all!

And somehow, without either of you realizing it, everything changes again. From best friends to lovers, Leah realizes that you’re all she wants in this world.

Just you.

And you want her too, even though she cannot understand why someone like you (perfect) would want someone like her (broken). But you don’t believe that’s Leah’s broken and you tell her so, insisting that she’s hurting and can’t see what you see.

“If you could, you’d know.”

Sue and Seth LOVE you. Seriously, you’re a member of the family from the second Leah brings you home to them. For so long, Leah has been hurting and alone and angry and they’ve been worrying about her. But from the day she found you, there was a shift within her and it’s the thing she’s been hoping for.

She’s singing again. Back then, she used to sing under her breath all of the time…but then she stopped and everything is quiet. Now there is music again and Sue finds herself holding on tight to every muffled word and soft hum.

And she’s not hiding in her room anymore, the ways she has been for so long, instead coming out to talk and laugh with them once again.

So when she finally feels comfortable enough to bring you home, Sue wraps you in a bear hug and welcomes you right into the family! And Seth, already sensing the love and joy you bring his favorite person, does the same.

You’ve always got a place at the Clearwater table (in fact, Sue insists on a visit at least once a week).

The pack kinda loves you too. After finding you, Leah becomes the happiest version of herself. Yeah, she’s still sarcastic and snarky (a mean bisexual) but she’s a little bit sweeter too and they really appreciate that.

Honestly though, you don’t hang out with them too much at first.

Leah prefers to keep you to herself for a long while and they only know you through brief meetings and the glimpses into her mind. But in time, you’ll start hanging around them and getting to know the pack. All of them like you, seeing you as a sister type, teasing and kind and (for Leah) a very calming thing indeed.

Seth, of course, loves you best.

Jacob and Quil quickly grow on you, Embry has a soft spot in your heart and you always make time for him. In time, no one is surprised to see you more often, leaning against Leah’s shoulder and laughing at Quil’s dumb jokes. There’s a perfectly Y/N shaped spot in the group, it was always meant for you…

After meeting everyone, you’re joined at the hip. It’s not just Leah and it’s not just Y/N, it’s Leah and Y/N.

And she LOVES it!

Once Leah settles into a comfortable place, she starts showing you off in a way. You’re always together and if you’re not, one of you isn’t far behind the other or you’re off to see one another. It’s a bit of a running joke at this point.

And everyone someone jokes about, Leah gets that big smile on her face and throws an arm around you and pulls you close.

“You’re just jealous,” she insists, smiling like an idiot.

Cooking together. It’s one of her favorite things to do with you.

Leah is a pretty great cook (she and Emily used to cook together a lot but, well, they haven’t done that in a long time). She enjoys cooking but loves it even more with you by her side, sunlight casting through the windows and the radio playing.

She makes you all of your favorite meals. The most common of your dates are dinner dates, with home cooked meals and the two of you prepping and cooking and cleaning, laughing over the music.

You bake her all of her favorite desserts. Just about once a week, you show up with Leah’s favorite muffins and cookies in Tupperware containers,

Cooking becomes something you love to do with Leah and you both become amazing at it. In time, the pack becomes pretty damn comfortable with strolling into the kitchen and having a taste of whatever is on the table. She acts annoyed and they’ll tease, but no one will mention that she always makes extra or cooks someone’s favorite when they’re having a bad time…

Hiking together. Leah takes a lot of pride in knowing all of the trails and tracks and super cool secret places. She knows the whole are of La Push and beyond and she’s going to show you every little piece of it.

A lot of your dates are the two of you hiking off into the forest, walking hand in hand through the trees and stopping beneath a tree to talk for hours.

There’s this once place she really likes though.

It’s far out there, a place where she’s never taken anybody before: a little circle of trees tight together, creating a protective wall all around a grassy knoll. You’re the only one who’s ever been allowed her and she cements this by carving your entitles into a rough bark of one of the trees.

It will remain there forever, something she loves to think about.

Should anyone ever stumble upon it, they’ll know that Leah has loved and been loved and what a beautiful thought that is!

Movie nights. When it’s cold and rainy and the two of you just wanna cuddle, Leah’s got ya covered.

She makes the most bad-ass blanket forts; old quilts and sheets creating a little tent, fairy lights strung up everywhere, an absolute mountain of pillows and stuffed animals. Girl’s got the movies, the snacks, all of it.

But the best part is her.

Laying back on the pillows, wearing shorts and a tank top (god, you can’t stop looking at her and she laps it up, feeling so beautiful), hair in her eyes as she grins at you.

“Come on.”

And you’re spending the rest of the dreary day in her arms, tangled together as you feed each other popcorn and watch movies and, at some point, start kissing and forget about everything else without meaning to…Leah’s got a way of doing that to you.

She kisses you first. It happens out of nowhere, in the early days of your relationship. You’re just starting to fall in love and you’re figuring things out, getting to the part where it starts to feel right. The two of you are just hanging out in her room and you’re laughing about something she said (looking back, she can’t even remember what she said) and Leah starts thinking about how lovely your laugh is and how pretty you are and suddenly…she’s kissing you.

For a moment, you freeze and she’s worried that she’s done something wrong.

But then you’re arms are wrapped around her shoulders, fingers playing with her hair as you pull her close and deepen the kiss and it’s all so perfect.

After that, she never stops kissing you.

It’s the first thing she does in the morning and the last thing at night. It makes sense to Leah, the feeling of her lips on yours. When she kisses you, the rest of the world melts away and everything feels right…so she kisses you as often as she can!

Leah’s your BIGGEST supporter. Like, almost cheerleader levels of enthusiasm. Are you a writer? She KNOWS you’re gonna be a best seller! An artist? She’ll buy up all your pieces and BRAG about them. An athlete? Look, there’s Leah in the stands screaming for you. A bookworm? She’ll read all of your faves and listen to you talk about them for hours, loving every damn word of it.

Whatever you do, she loves you for it!

It’s a genuine thing, Leah really does believe in you and wants to support your endeavors and dreams in life.

In her mind, there’s nothing you can’t do. She’ll be there for your successes and your failures and everything in between, believing so deeply in you. It’s one of the best things about loving this woman, her belief in you makes you feel strong.

And you’re hers too. Splitting her time between work, college, the pack, and you, Leah knows that you’ve always got her back. You make her coffee as she gets ready for work (she’s got a couple of jobs, one at a gas station and another at a movie theater), help her study, wait up for her after patrols, and just…love her.

It’s some kind of wonderful to her.

The way you kiss her as she leaves to drive to work, make her a coffee to help her study (and a snack too), always trying to show her your adoration. And you just straight up brag as well, telling the whole damn world about how AMAZING Leah Clearwater is! It makes her feel like maybe she could do every damn thing, as long as you were by her side.

She loves it.

Little known Leah facts:

She’s super smart and a total bookworm. Leah loves to learn and her bedroom is full of secondhand books, all of them scribbled with her notes and thoughts (this is something she shares with Embry, the two lend each other books a lot).

Her bedroom is neat, everything organized. The walls are painted a light, hazy shade blue and covered in band posters (she likes older rock because it was her dad’s favorite genre and she still has all of his CDs) and pictures of her family. Soon there will be pictures of you and her there too, a million of them, and she’ll put her pictures of Emily back up bit by bit.

She absolutely loves music and can play piano a bit. Nowadays, she doesn’t get much time to play…but when she does, you’re in total awe of her (in time she’ll learn all of your favorite songs and play them for you).

She’s speaks Spanish and very well at that. It’s something she learned in school and enjoyed, keeping up the practice of it.

Beneath her bed, there’s an old shoebox. Inside she keeps little pieces of you: gray and white and brown rocks collected from your hikes, the dates carved into them; a napkin from where she took you out for the first time; pressed flowers that you gave her; notes you’d scribbled and slipped into her pockets.

She doodles when distracted and she’s quite talented too. It’s just little things, scribbled on scraps of notebook paper and old envelopes, but when you compliment them, she starts giving the drawings to you. Later, she finds out that you kept every last one of them.

She keeps you warm. All through those dreary, cold days Leah is right there to warm you up. It is, she states, the best part of shifting:

Being able to keep you warm.

On those bitterly cold days, Leah will grab a bunch of blankets and curl up with you on the couch, your head resting against her heart. There might be a movie on or the radio playing, she’s not really paying any attention to it.

All eyes are on you.

In the early hours, you’re awake and talking and reading, your head resting besides her. But in time you’ll start to get sleepy and soon you’ll be fast asleep, with Leah looking at you so lovingly (heart eyes, mother fucker). When you cuddle up, the potion will change from time to time. Sometimes she’s the big spoon, sometimes the little spoon.

It depends on what she needs in that moment.

You call her sunshine. It’s such a silly, sweet thing and Leah loves it. Of course, she loves the way you say her name especially (because you make it sound like magic) but when it’s just the two of you and you call her sunshine?

She is melting!

Knowing that Leah is a private person (as much as she can be with the whole mind link thing going on), you don’t say it in front of anyone else, just her. It’s one of those little things that she likes to keep all for herself, not wanting to share it with anybody. But at some point, a few people will hear you whisper it.

Sue hears it when she’s in the kitchen. Leah is getting a cup of coffee and you’re washing her mug, handing it to her with a gentle smile as you whisper it softly.

Seth hears it when the two of you are on the couch. Everyone else is asleep but the two of you were up a bit longer, wrapped up on the couch. You’re pushing dark hair out of her tired eyes when you say it, asking if she wants to go to bed.

Emily hears it when you’re in the car. The two of you didn’t even know she was walking by, too lost in your own world, when you say it, smiling up at Leah like a love-struck idiot.

It’s so sweet it’s almost sickening. But no one says a thing about it, letting the two of you remain happy in your own little moments together. After everything she’s been through, Leah deserves all of these moments and more (you later admit that you call Leah sunshine because that’s what she is to you: the sun after a long, dark night).

Leah is SO soft for you. Like, the girl is WEAK and you know it, EVERYONE KNOWS IT!! The pack LOVES teasing her about it.

Bu she don’t even care.

Because this woman is so in love and so happy, happy for the first time in so long, that nothing else seems to matter. The softness she shows you is unmatched, treating you so gently and pouring all of her love (and there’s an endless amount of it) into you…and the same is returned.

It’s crazy to her that someone could ever love her the way she loves them.

Even in her relationship with Sam, she always felt like she was the one who loved a little harder then he did.

But everything she gives to you is returned and it makes her melt just a little.

You’re the only one who knows all of the secret parts of her. Well, yeah, the pack knows all of it…but she didn’t have a choice in that! With you, she chooses to share of her secrets with you. Her hopes, her fears, everything.

There’s a lot of late night conversations.

In her room, in the truck, in the little spot hidden in the forest. She tells you about Sam and Emily, about her father, about the anger and the guilt and the confusion of it all. But there are better things she tells you, funny stories about the pack, her hopes for the future.

And you listen to every word.

Sometimes, when you can sense that she needs it, you offer advice. But mostly, you just let her vent. Leah has felt unheard and misunderstood for a long, long time, facing many forms of rejection. So you embrace her, letting her know that you are her safe place, a place in the world where she can always be. You’re her home.

Touching one another 24/7. Like, literately, Leah never lets you go and you’re the same way. Playing with hair, hand holding, arms wrapped around waists and shoulders, hands lingering on thighs, tracing patterns on bare skin.

If you have tattoos or moles or freckles, she’s always touching them. No matter where the two of you are, you’re always touching.

Holding hands as you drive through the rain, silver drops pelting down (but you’re safe and warm).

Your fingers curled in her thick hair. She LOVES this, scalp scratching and massages are something she really enjoys. So you do it a lot, allowing Leah to lay back and relax, mumbling happily beneath soft breathes.

Pulling one another close. It’s so natural, the second you see one another, you gravitate towards one another and just hold on.

Her lashes tickling your face as she leans low, grinning as you giggle and kiss her face.

Lips on her neck, sweet and cool. If you wake up before her (rarely) and before you fall asleep, you press a couple of kisses to her warm, pretty neck. She can feel your smile against her skin, sighing as you kiss her again and again.

Seriously, she basks in your affection. Leah might seem rough but she’s actually very loving and craves this kind of thing.

The lady is a romantic at heart.

So every time you whisper her name or hold her close, every time you kiss or cuddle or compliment her, she keeps it to her heart. Those little moments echo through her mind when she’s missing or wanting you.

Going out of your way to do things for her is a big plus. Making her coffee just the way she likes it, always having her favorite snacks in your pantry, telling her how cool and smart she is. But there are other things too. There’s the love notes you write her, the wild flowers you pick for her, the way you absentmindedly braid her hair…it’s all so wonderful to her.

In time, she and Emily become close again. Not to the extent that they once were, it’s hard for Leah to let her back in fully, but closer and that’s enough.

You like her and Emily likes you, finding you to be perfect for Leah.

But you never come to really like Sam, treating him in a cordial manner and that’s about it. He accepts that. But secretly he’s happy to see Leah like this, knowing that the joy you’ve brought her is more then he ever did.

She’s the early riser, up when the sun’s up. On days when she’s gotta work, you wake up and help her get ready. But on the occasional lazy day, you sleep in and she lays beside you and is just…so…freaking…happy!

Because your hair is all tangled and you’re sort of smiling in your sleep and she wonders what you’re dreaming about…

And thinking about how much she loves you.

The feeling is so much that she almost cries, dark eyes welling up as she smiles…but instead she kisses your face and slips out of bed. It won’t be too long before you join her, leaning your tired head against her shoulder and wrapping her arms around her waist. Mornings are spent eating on the couch, a blanket thrown over your legs.

There’s music playing, a book on the table, and the two of you are lazily making plans on what you’ll do together.

You say it first. Those three big words: I love you. It’s in the car, just as Leah is taking you home after date night.

She’s parked outside of your house, some stupid song playing on the radio (“I know this song,” you’d laughed, “I hate this song!” Leah replied) playing on low as she’s telling you about something, soft lips pulled into an almost smile.

“It’s late…I gotta go,” Leah sighs, looking over at you.

“Yeah.”

Getting out of the car, you throw your bag over your shoulder before leaning back into the car to kiss her good night.

“I love you.”

And then she sits there for, like, ten minuets, her brain totally broken as THOSE WORDS repeat over and over and over again in her mind. I love you, I love, love you, love you, love you, YOU LOVE HER!!!!

But she says it too. After TOTALLY PANICKING and driving away like an idiot, Leah goes home and lays in bed. She’s laying there for hours, thinking about everything, about you and her and all of it. And she decides that you are the best fucking thing that has ever happened to her. Which is why she runs off into the night and all the way to your house, knocking on your bedroom window.

“Leah?”

“I love you too.”

And then she’s kissing you, with you half way out of the window and her holding you tight…until somehow she’s pulled you out and onto the ground (thank god your bedroom is on the ground floor lol), the both of you falling onto the soft earth.

You’re laughing between kisses, laying on top of Leah as he hands run along your back and she says it again, tasting every word.

“I love you, Y/N.”

It sounds better every time she says it.

She’s with you whenever she can be. If Leah can be there, she’s gonna be there. Driving around with you, hanging out with you, making out with you, studying with you, showering together, sleeping, eating, laughing, talking, doing nothing.

If you’re there, she is too.

There’s something so good about being with you, it’s warm and comforting and so natural. Every moment makes sense somehow.

The best moments of all are the nothings.

You’re not really doing anything or saying anything, the two of you are only…being. Being together, being happy. It’s a simple thing but you both love, holding on tight as you drift through every sweet moment.

But when she’s not, Leah’s texting you. Always wanting to know what you’re doing, if you’re okay, if you’ve eaten/drank water, all of it.

It’s super cute.

Not because she’s using all of those emojis or calling you sweet names, no, it’s cute because Leah clearly cares so damn much! Every little notification makes your heart skip a beat, her name flashing on the screen.

“Make sure you get something to eat while studying, okay?”

“Did you bring your water bottle?”

“You look pretty today, blue is so good on you.”

“Get some rest.”

You do the same for her, making sure that Leah is doing okay and not pushing herself too hard. The two of you take care of one another.

Eventually, you move in together. It’s a tiny house at the farthest edge of the reservation, old and in need of a little care…but it’s perfect!

The walls are painted in each of your favorite colors, soft blues and gentle greens and earthy browns for Leah. But your bedroom is painted in a color of your favor, she likes to keep herself surrounded by you.

There’s framed photos collected on the living room walls: her family, the pack, the two of you. Over time, the collection will spread to the halls and other rooms of the house, creating a sea of happy memories. In your shared room, Leah has all of the best ones of you two: posing on the beach, hiking through the trees, your smiling face all over the place.

The kitchen has big windows and is full of sunshine. It always smells good, something warm coming from the kitchen at all times. There’s a recipe book, handwritten, that Leah and her family all made together.

On your big bed there’s an old quilt, her grandmother made it. It’s a bit worn but perfect for the two of you, one of her favorite things.

In the backyard, there’s enough picnic tables and old wooden chairs for both of the packs and more. Somehow, it’s very common for the Black pack to hang around your home and the Uley pack comes along too on occasion. But mostly, it’s the Clearwater’s visiting. Sue sitting on the porch with her children, Seth raiding the kitchen (but always helping with dishes), and of course, you and Leah laughing along.

There’s Christmas lights strung up on the front porch. They remain up and on most nights, lights swaying in the darkness, pale yellow like little suns. She likes the light and the warmth.

Her old truck sits in the driveway. It’s kind of rough and needs a bit of work so she and the pack are always working on it. The running joke is that the only thing that NEVER breaks is the old radio, an old rock song playing on and on.

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