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[chaos-mymiddlename]

[chaos-mymiddlename]

dearest, i beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks. — franz kafka, 1912

[chaos-mymiddlename]

I'm never going to stop thinking about how people order shit from shein and temu not even knowing whether or not it's made by slave labor and imprisoned uyghurs. It does get talked about but...so often people still couch criticisms with excuses for people who "can't afford" anything else.

This is such a a weak weak caveat. The majority of people who shop temu or shein can afford somewhere else to dress themselves. Their target demographic is not "people who can only afford a $3 shirt." They have no interest in marketing to poor people, especially because they're already actively losing money.

Secondly, thrift and second hand stores exist, as well as buy nothing groups and swaps. Clothing closets also exist. There is an overabundance of clothing globally — there's no actual shortage of wearable clothes, and secondhand shops have more clothing than they can ever sell and that stuff gets thrown away. Fashion & clothing waste is massive. Shein and Temu do not fulfill roles in society for people in poverty that simply don't exist anywhere else.

They don't aim to do that, they don't intend to do that, and they're certainly not the only places who can provide that.

[chaos-mymiddlename]

"if you see someone shoplifting, no you didn't" no but like. i really didn't. i have never in my life seen someone shoplifting because i'm not watching anyone else in the grocery store..? how are y'all noticing things like that. my only goals are enter the store, survive, exit the store

[chaos-mymiddlename]

Taylor Swift bravely standing up for the right of billionaires to destroy public information. (link here)

[chaos-mymiddlename]

Random pieces of advice

The world is less scary and chaotic if you lie down on the floor

Noticing different kinds of light (stars, candles, sunshine or city lights) can bring back the feeling of wonder and hope

If you can’t shower, washing your hands and face will help you feel better and cleaner

If you can’t clean anything else, changing and/or washing your bedsheets can do wonders

Fresh air and being outside in general can help with depersonalisation

Spending time around animals can help you recognise what’s important and calm anxious thought cycles

Techniques for emotional regulation in children can really help adults too

Putting random asortment of food on a plate without creating an actual dish still counts as a meal

Drink something warm

Delete that app

Treat yourself as if you were a kid. Buy yourself a toy, play around, learn about cool new things

Fast paced life isn’t morally better and it’s not good for everyone

There is no good reason to keep yourself hungry

Singing to your full lung capacity can be a great way to let out built up emotion

Tension in the face can cause headaches. Try to massage your face regularly

Nothing is as important as your health

You are a whole person on your own, you don’t need someone else to be there to deserve love and attention. Your life can be full as long as you are present

You should cry things out whenever you feel like it

Slow walks are still movement and they do count

It’s never as bad as you imagine it

Try changing your toothpaste flavor if you hate brushing your teeth

Anything can be a stim toy - one of my favourites is a heavy dragon necklace that has a complicated surfice. It’s fun to touch and hold and it’s not even “actual” stim toy

Procrastinating and feeling bad about it is true waste of time. Learn to truly rest. It takes the same amount of time but it is useful

Sometimes you have to force yourself to do the things that make you feel better

Don’t trust the thoughts you have after not sleeping for a while

Friendships don’t have to be forever to mean something

[chaos-mymiddlename]

Just a bunch of Useful websites - Updated for 2023

Removed/checked all links to make sure everything is working (03/03/23). Hope they help!

Sejda - Free online PDF editor.

Supercook - Have ingredients but no idea what to make? Put them in here and it’ll give you recipe ideas.

Still Tasty - Trying the above but unsure about whether that sauce in the fridge is still edible? Check here first.

Archive.ph - Paywall bypass. Like 12ft below but appears to work far better and across more sites in my testing. I’d recommend trying this one first as I had more success with it.

12ft – Hate paywalls? Try this site out.

Where Is This - Want to know where a picture was taken, this site can help.

TOS/DR - Terms of service, didn’t read. Gives you a summary of terms of service plus gives each site a privacy rating.

OneLook - Reverse dictionary for when you know the description of the word but can’t for the life of you remember the actual word.

My Abandonware - Brilliant site for free, legal games. Has games from 1978 up to present day across pc and console. You’ll be surprised by some of the games on there, some absolute gems.

Project Gutenberg – Always ends up on these type of lists and for very good reason. All works that are copyright free in one place.

Ninite – New PC? Install all of your programs in one go with no bloat or unnecessary crap.

PatchMyPC - Alternative to ninite with over 300 app options to keep upto date. Free for home users.

Unchecky – Tired of software trying to install additional unwanted programs? This will stop it completely by unchecking the necessary boxes when you install.

Sci-Hub – Research papers galore! Check here before shelling out money. And if it’s not here, try the next link in our list.

LibGen – Lots of free PDFs relate primarily to the sciences.

Zotero – A free and easy to use program to collect, organize, cite and share research.

Car Complaints – Buying a used car? Check out what other owners of the same model have to say about it first.

CamelCamelCamel – Check the historical prices of items on Amazon and set alerts for when prices drop.

Have I Been Pawned – Still the king when it comes to checking if your online accounts have been released in a data breach. Also able to sign up for email alerts if you’ve ever a victim of a breach.

I Have No TV - A collection of documentaries for you to while away the time. Completely free.

Radio Garden – Think Google Earth but wherever you zoom, you get the radio station of that place.

Just The Recipe – Paste in the url and get just the recipe as a result. No life story or adverts.

Tineye – An Amazing reverse image search tool.

My 90s TV – Simulates 90’s TV using YouTube videos. Also has My80sTV, My70sTV, My60sTV and for the younger ones out there, My00sTV. Lose yourself in nostalgia.

Foto Forensics – Free image analysis tools.

Old Games Download – A repository of games from the 90’s and early 2000’s. Get your fix of nostalgia here.

Online OCR – Convert pictures of text into actual text and output it in the format you need.

Remove Background – An amazingly quick and accurate way to remove backgrounds from your pictures.

Twoseven – Allows you to sync videos from providers such as Netflix, Youtube, Disney+ etc and watch them with your friends. Ad free and also has the ability to do real time video and text chat.

Terms of Service, Didn’t Read – Get a quick summary of Terms of service plus a privacy rating.

Coolors – Struggling to get a good combination of colors? This site will generate color palettes for you.

This To That – Need to glue two things together? This’ll help.

Photopea – A free online alternative to Adobe Photoshop. Does everything in your browser.

BitWarden – Free open source password manager.

Just Beam It - Peer to peer file transfer. Drop the file in on one end, click create link and send to whoever. Leave your pc on that page while they download. Because of how it works there are no file limits. It’s genuinely amazing. Best file transfer system I have ever used.

Atlas Obscura – Travelling to a new place? Find out the hidden treasures you should go to with Atlas Obscura.

ID Ransomware – Ever get ransomware on your computer? Use this to see if the virus infecting your pc has been cracked yet or not. Potentially saving you money. You can also sign up for email notifications if your particular problem hasn’t been cracked yet.

Way Back Machine – The Internet Archive is a non-profit library of millions of free books, movies, software, music, websites and loads more.

Rome2Rio – Directions from anywhere to anywhere by bus, train, plane, car and ferry.

Splitter – Seperate different audio tracks audio. Allowing you to split out music from the words for example.

myNoise – Gives you beautiful noises to match your mood. Increase your productivity, calm down and need help sleeping? All here for you.

DeepL – Best language translation tool on the web.

Forvo – Alternatively, if you need to hear a local speaking a word, this is the site for you.

For even more useful sites, there is an expanded list that can be found here.

[chaos-mymiddlename]

just… learn to change the oil in your car, know how to darn a hole in your favorite sweater, take no for an answer sometimes, accept when you don’t know something, think critically, discern when to stand up for yourself and when to back down, possess integrity, hold yourself gracefully, be comfortable w eating alone and even more comfortable w being put in awkward positions, develop rituals and habits, observe as much as but hopefully more than you judge, talk freely but listen actively, if you offer unsolicited advice be willing to also receive it, apologize for interrupting I don’t care if you grew up culturally doing that it’s respectful to maintain awareness of the world you weren’t raised in, shop w a grocery list rather than by the seat of your pants, pick your friends up from and drop them off at the airport, have hobbies that hone your craft, speaking of honing your craft: take your creativity seriously by continuously challenging and sharpening it, this one can be endlessly trying but working to cultivate a healthy relationship w what troubles you rather than resorting to castigating yourself upon approaching that which is unfamiliar, never show up empty handed to someone’s home for the first time, and help them clean up at the end of the evening, but leave as soon as you start wanting to go home so you don’t tinge the otherwise enjoyable time you had w irritation, date yourself, do the dishes before bed, also make your bed every morning, and clean parts of your home everyday, always seek knowledge beyond traditional education, move your body as much as it allows so you may sustain some sort of secure relationship w it as you age, judge the capacity as much as you do the intent, have a curiosity-driven mindset, know that you and the world you live in are mutable, value different perspectives but remain steadfast in your principals and beliefs, write by hand as much as you type, take initiative without prompting, seek help when and where necessary, learn to be financially literate, have friends who are significantly older than you (some of my dearest friends are in their 50s and 70s), learn from failures and setbacks by acknowledging and growing beyond your limitations, be the friend you wish(ed) you had by building and maintaining meaningful connections, embrace opportunities for personal and professional growth, recognize both the importance of compromise and when to choose discord over maintaining the peace, express gratitude regularly

[chaos-mymiddlename]

this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it

buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell

leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist

put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.

when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!

plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.

if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge

if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.

its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.

[chaos-mymiddlename]

I saw a post today talking about how difficult making friends can be, as well as maintaining friendships, and as someone who has spent the last few years learning how to maintain friendships while moving a couple times and some big life events. One of the best things you can do for a friendship is organise to do THINGS.

Not just meet and talk or chat over message. Arrange to go swimming, or for a row boat ride, cook dinner together, try making clay creatures and laugh at how bad they are. Go to see a play or a singer or a waterfall.

Sit on a call together in silence while you crochet or watch something at the same time in different locations.

Or while you both draw or do dishes and say the random questions that come to mind 'do you think aliens could exist?' 'How can you tell when you're in love?' 'There’s a really cool bird out the window I think you'd like it, it's all blue and green!'

The key is to not try to keep the friendship for the sake of it, but enjoy the Person and their company

Maintaining of a friendship over time requires effort, but also acceptance that you won't speak or see each other all the time. My 3 best friends are all from different phases of life and I have had periods of months or years where I didn’t speak to them just because we had shifted how much we saw each other.

You see them when you see them, you speak when you speak, but you'll find people who with even a tiny amount of effort (a birthday gift, a card, a meme sent, a message or a gif) you can hold onto. People who mean the world to you even though you only see them a could times a year.

I once heard the phrase that friends are like stars, even when you don't see them, they're still there.

Friendships that truly mean something aren't like sitcoms or movies. Life is more complicated and people are too, don't feel bad if your friendships don't match up to what you expect, or if you can't be there all the time.

All things considered, I'm a pretty shit friend sometimes, I forget birthdays and I'm useless to get hold of sometimes. But on either side of friendships that I have, we both make enough of an effort that they're still there.

I'm going to the cinema tomorrow with a friend I've had since I was 11 (or 13 depending how we've decided to measure it that day) and I haven't seen in person in nearly a year. We're still going to have a great time.

Your friendship takes whatever form works for you, don't lose sight of the people you love cos the way you love them doens’t look like 'it's supposed to'

[chaos-mymiddlename]

Reblog if you're transgender, pansexual, asexual, bisexual, ambiamorous, or polyamorous, or you like me as a person, or you like FNF but not the fandom, or you like DSMP even though people bully you for it, or you're really self-conscious, or you're fully aware no one's perfect, or you're a feminist, or you haven't come out yet, or your only friends are these little people on the screen, or you don't really like yourself in general, or you're gay, or lesbian, or any part of LGBTQ+, or you hate transphobes and homophobes and terfs and those mean girls and boys in school, or you really like Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit, Schlatt, GeorgeNotFound, and Ranboo but only those ones and not the other ones.

Or you need a hug.

Just trying to see something about this community.

Oh also Tubbo because yes

[chaos-mymiddlename]

[chaos-mymiddlename]

Bag is finished!

It is very clearly hand made and rough in places but it genuinely brings me so much joy

I would like say that this was not at all the original vision for this project while also being exactly fulfilling the original vision

I started off thinking of doing a Boro style bag but when I went to the scrap store this fabric screamed moss at me

So I was going to have that as my base and use other fabric scraps to make pockets ala prototype 2

But then I thought "I bet I could embroidery moss onto this

And that led to the moss pocket for my phone and then the mushrooms and before I knew it I had a little woodland theme

Now how it always fulfilled the brief was my intention was to make a bag I could carry while using my mobility devices (hence the strap being the way it is), makes my pain pills more easily accessible, and is something I like looking at/think looks cool. And I absolutely nailed all that

I am going to make a few changes admittedly

I'm going to bolster the closure with velcro at the edges and I've got to trim away any random threads and I want to add a few little charms that I think go but it's basically done and genuinely makes me so happy

[chaos-mymiddlename]

Every fun post on here that encourages people to have hobbies/be creative always gets an avalanche of "Some people are poor Karen" type reactions and respectfully, you're all super annoying. I've never lived above the poverty line and this is a list of hobbies I have that were cheap or entirely free:

Read books: Go to the library, lend a book from a friend

knitting, crochet, embroidery: Get some needles from the bargan store and ask around, people have leftovers from projects they'll happily give you. Thrift stores also often carry leftover fabric and other supplies. And talk about your hobby loud enough and an old lady will show up and gift you their whole collection, because there are way more old ladies with a closet full of wool than there are grandchildren who want to take up the hobby.

Origami/paper crafts: get some scrap paper and scissors, watch a youtube tutorial

walking: put on shoes open door

pilates/yoga/etc: get a mat or just use your carpet, watch a youtube tutorial

Houseplants: look online for people that swap plant cuttings. There are always people giving out stuff for free to get you started. If you're nice enough you'll probably get extra

gardening: You're gonna need some space for this one of course but you can just play around with seeds and cuttings from your grocery vegetables.

aquarium keeping is a bit of an obscure one but I got most of my stuff second hand for cheap or free and now I have a few thousand euro worth of material and plants.

drawing/art: You get very far just playing with bargan store materials. I did my entire art degree with mostly those.

writing: Rotate a cow in your head for free

cooking: again one you can make very expensive, but there are many budget recipes online for free. Look for African or Asian shops to get good rice and cheap spices.

Join a non-profit: Cities will have creative organisations who let you use woodworking machines or screen presses or laser cutters or 3D printers etc etc etc for a small fee. Some libraries also lend out materials.

candle making: You need some molds (cheap), wick, two old cooking pots for au bain marie melting and a ton of scrap candles, ask people to keep them aside for you.

a herbarium, flower pressing: Leaves are free, wildflowers too, ask if you can take from peoples gardens.

puzzles: thrift stores, your grandma probably

Citizen science: look for projects in your area or get the iNaturalist app

And lastly and most importantly: Share! Share your supllies, share your knowledge. Surround yourself with other creative people and before you know it someone will give you a pot of homemade jam and when you want to paint your kabinet someone will have leftover paint in just the right color and you can give them a homemade candle in return and everyone is having fun and building skills and friendships and not a cent is exchanged. We have always lived like this, it's what humans are build to do.

And all of it sure beats sitting behind a computer going "No stranger, I refuse to let myself have a good time."

Anyway I'm logging off bc I'm making some badges for a friend who cooked for me and then I'm going to fix some holes in everyones clothes.

[chaos-mymiddlename]

A list of (realistic) things you can do to be more environmentally friendly

(from an earth-loving horticulture student.)

— COSMETICS

Use bar soap instead of soap bottles

Use old toothbrushes for cleaning surfaces

Try exploring and researching some homemade face/body/lip products

Use ice sleeves, sunglasses, and caps instead of sunscreen (Edit: I’ve seen people say that it is safer and even necessary to wear sunscreen at all times so try to use eco friendly sunscreen instead! In my country it’s pretty uncommon to wear sunscreen often as we usually wear ice sleeves which is why I did not know this oof)

Use coffee grinds or homemade tumeric masks instead of cosmetic products with exfoliator beads

Invest in a metal ear cleanser instead of cotton buds

Try placing more importance on skincare instead of contributing to exploitative beauty companies by buying makeup

Use cosmetic products that do not contain palm oil

— CLOTHING

Try as much as possible to rewear your outfits at least twice before washing them

Actually WEAR your clothes! I know some of y’all just wear them once for your Instagram post and let it rot in your closet forever. Stop doing that!

Thrift, stitch up holes in your clothes, and use second hand clothing instead of supporting fast fashion companies like SHEIN, H&M, Zara, etc.

Cut up your old clothing into yarn and do macramè with it

Cut patches of old clothing to turn into reusable cotton pads

Learn how to knit, crochet or stitch your clothes!

If you use tampons, try menstrual cups or discs instead. If you use pads, try reusable pads or period underwear. (Trust me, it works). Also, use reusable panty liners instead of disposable ones. They may seem expensive but you will end up saving a lot more in the long run

— GARDENING

Plant seeds/cuttings in your old bottles, jars, and containers

Propagate your plants and exchange cuttings with your friends instead of buying new plants

Make your own soil mixes instead of buying soil mixes

Better yet, don’t use soil for your indoor plants and try getting into hydroponics or semihydroponics instead. This saves so much water and doesn’t contribute to mining of soil

Fertilise plants with fruit peels, coffee grinds, and tea leaves. (DO NOT use chemical fertiliser on soil)

Plant more legume plants in your garden instead of using nitrogen fertilisers. (Look up the nitrogen cycle if you need an explanation on this)

Avoid pesticides unless really needed. Try sprinkling cinnamon powder on soil or spraying neem oil on plants and soil to keep away pests.

If you have a lawn, try looking into rain gardens and consider making one

Let the (non invasive) weeds in your lawn/garden grow! They are there for a reason!

Stop killing earthworms and millipedes in your garden. This also applies to snails native to your region. They are there for a reason.

Water used to wash fruits and rice can be used to water plants

— REDUCE, REUSE

Use the caps of jars as soap holders

Use recycled paper/notebooks

Wash and dry your glass/plastic items before throwing them in the recycling bin

Keep any plastic bags for future use

Use eco friendly or reusable dish sponges

Use reusable straws and cups

Invest in a fabric cup holder

Bring a water bottle with you wherever you go

Drink more water and less sugary drinks

Bring reusable bags for buying groceries instead of using plastic ones

Always keep a folded up tote/shopping bag with you in case you spontaneously decide to buy something

— ELECTRICITY

Set a timer on your air conditioning instead of letting it run throughout the night

Better yet, use a fan instead of an air conditioner

Open your windows! Aerate your home!

Allow natural light to enter your home during the daytime, so as to avoid turning on your lights

Switch to LED lightbulbs instead of regular lightbulbs

Turn off any switches in your house when they are not in use

Collect the water from your air conditioner/dehumidifier condenser and use that to water plants, clean surfaces, steam ironing, and flushing toilets. Do not drink it though!

— INTERNET

Delete your all of your unwanted emails

Delete your inactive social media accounts

Try not to post excessively on social media and stop scrolling excessively too. This not only reduces energy usage but also improves your mental health and productivity

Try to keep to one social media app instead of having so many

Reduce your internet usage

Save your eBooks on a thumbdrive instead of on cloud

Use Ecosia instead of Google

Stop being influenced by social media trends that only just contribute to consumerism

Download music instead of streaming

Reduce online shopping

— FOOD

Reduce intake of processed foods

Reduce intake of fish, beef, and dairy

Try eating vegan or vegetarian foods at least once or twice a week

Cook your own meals instead of eating out

Bring your own food containers when taking away food from stores

Beeswax wrap instead of cling wrap!

Buy loose-leaf tea or plastic free tea bags instead of regular tea bags

Eat more mushrooms, vegetables, and fruits and drink more water

Support local farmers

And finally, educate yourself more about ecology and the environment!

[chaos-mymiddlename]

[chaos-mymiddlename]

As I shatter on the inside, I frantically search for peace outside.