chaos-n-kindness

[chaos-n-kindness]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[chaos-n-kindness]

We now have a “no touch” law in my state

You’ll get fined if you touch your phone while in the drivers seat, even at a stop sign

You can dictate things, but you can’t touch it

I’ll need to get a phone mount to use maps, but hey

I’m ok with law that’s actually meant to keep us safe

[chaos-n-kindness]

[chaos-n-kindness]

i like how at five guys they're like oh you want one burger okay "ONE LITTLE BURGER" and then the guy cooking the burger is like "ONE LITTLE BURGER FOR BABY FAGGOTS THAT CAN ONLY HANDLE ONE PATTY COMING UP" and then if you can't finish it they make you wear a maid costume and handcuff you to the sink in the men's bathroom

[chaos-n-kindness]

We're offering a large selection of slop and abysmal dogshit today if anyone's interested

[chaos-n-kindness]

You know what I'm gonna COMPLAIN!

Vanilla sex isn't "wholesome sex"! Sex is not more pure just because it's done within the framework of a monogamous relationship and free from elements of kink!

"Person is so pure they probably don't even know what sex is." Purity isn't defined by the distance from sex! As if the more a person encounters sex in any context the less pure their soul becomes!

You🫵are not immune to propagating the beliefs and ideas of purity culture!

[chaos-n-kindness]

[chaos-n-kindness]

“What do you think Bonkus Konkus?”

[chaos-n-kindness]

it sucks being an American because people from other countries will make fun of you for liking burger and you will try to be like NO! I EAT OTHER FOOD TOO! but you can't get the words out because you're too busy salivating over the idea of burger

[chaos-n-kindness]

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

[chaos-n-kindness]

my brother is sitting in the chair in my room studying a practice test thing for his final test before he becomes a fully certified EMT tomorrow and he’s mumbling some of the questions out loud and he just went “a child has fallen from a monkey at school…” and he just got dead quiet and stared at the wall for like a solid minute with the most stricken look on his face before he whispered “there’s no protocol for monkeys”

bro

bro it means monkey bars 

[chaos-n-kindness]

fabulous creature?

[chaos-n-kindness]

[chaos-n-kindness]

Birds building nests in unconventional locations, unknowingly generating breathtaking symbolism and visual art > literally anything hollywood can hope to achieve

[chaos-n-kindness]

they spent billions on this

[chaos-n-kindness]

*looking for a midnight snack* *gets flashbanged*

[chaos-n-kindness]

hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)

there is delaware (state) and delaware (river) 

both are equally strange

the state is a tiny little cryptid thing

the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.

the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.