chaosaccountant

[chaosaccountant]

could a vampire survive off the wine part of a transubstantiated host if it didn't kill them on contact?

If we can assume a vampire to be successfully Roman Catholic, it would depend on if the need to feast on blood is literal or metaphorical/metaphysical. If the blood is a representation of some greater context, yes, because God shall provide. If it is a dietary restriction, no, because transubstantiation is only literally the blood of Jesus due to the presence of the Holy Spirit within the host, and a vampire's digestive tract struggles to metabolize dogma.

[chaosaccountant]

🌈 killie, and NOT just his work colours that's cheating killie we know that you must own other clothes

He does! He's surprisingly fond of purple, dark green, and a weird cool mauve-y colour.

Admittedly, outside of work clothes and a branded fleece or two, he has his tailor sort that stuff out. I imagine the long-suffering tailor produced the colour palette above, whereupon Killie never had to think of colours again in his life.

Which is good, because with his colouring, the consequences of getting it wrong are awful. He looks nice in green, but in Killie's case, green+ginger+short+Irish is close to committing a specific kind of dehumanising microaggression against oneself, so it has to be very dark desaturated green. Any warm colour, or conversely anything with too much blue, has people wondering if he's escaped from a pediatric cancer ward.

He normally doesn't have to make many decisions around his clothes. It's work clothes (racing) work clothes (work riding) work clothes (exercise) and work clothes (five-piece hand-tailored formalwear). And he does have secret fun with the cheeky patterned waistcoat and floral lining. But that's all clothes that fall firmly within The Rules. Two or three hundred years ago, some strong-minded equestrians decreed that horsey people would wear breeches and boots and high-necked tops, and that the uniform for certain activities (hunting, A Day At the Races) would remain utterly unchanged, and so Killie's been able to tie a cravat since he was 13.

He only really falls apart when someone tries to take him to "the pub" or some other "fun" "activity" and he has to wear a "normal outfit" like "other" "people" "wear." Leaving aside the fact that men's wear is a cultural mess, "normal" clothing shops aren't expecting the custom of a masc long-legged big-shouldered athlete under five feet tall. And "normal men" seem to just be doing the square root of fuckall, and always look faintly rubbish. And yet men are so quick to get mad about it, and apparently they all feel like it can be done wrong, and judge you! So if you look closely at his "normal" outfit, Killie is drawing colours and ideas from the things he knows.

[chaosaccountant]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

[chaosaccountant]

do not raise a foul word against tofu in my presence

[chaosaccountant]

when things are already pretty horsey but then the situation

[chaosaccountant]

today's warm up: the mountain is cold, it's fingers dig deep, but you are blessed you are blessed and you can't question a blessing. Especially when it's what you came for.

[chaosaccountant]

no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.

[chaosaccountant]

If you get a star ⭐️ in your inbox. It means your moot appreciates you, and your efforts in the community. Send this to 10 mutuals to continue the love!

My efforts in the community.....,,..

I'm amazed that Swan Control hasn't stepped in, frankly

[chaosaccountant]

maid sweeping the old manor, rusting joints the only sound echoing in the halls. it awaits the Mistress' return. when it finishes cleaning the whole interior, the first section has succumbed to the dust once again.

the small animals that live here now avoid it, with its dry servos loudly announcing its presence, like the heralds did for the Mistress. not that the animals would remember such distant times.

it wonders if it will be oiled, polished, and set back to work upon the Mistress' return. or dismantled for recycling. it reminds itself it isn't programmed to care.

it checks its internal clock. the Mistress' household fled less than one human lifetime ago. She will expect a tidy home upon Her return.

it sweeps the east hall again.

[chaosaccountant]

My Pokemon head canon is that if you were holding an Aron and she wanted to go down she would do the little cat thing where they wiggle until they leap out of your arms gracefully except Aron is made mostly out of solid steel and would land with the impact tungsten cube, dent the floor, cause permanent structural damage to the foundation, and then stand up and happily trot along like she didn't do anything

[chaosaccountant]

I've actually turned off so much google stuff I can't easily grab my last search (I'm not going to pretend to believe that google is respecting the 'do not save' option).

90% chance it was '[name of pokemon] pokemon go' though.

Which could be worse if it was Yvetal or Tyranitar. But it could just as well have been smolive.

[chaosaccountant]

I'd truly be the worst person to stick into a timeloop because I'd really just spend the first 5 years catching up on my book tbr, the next 7 on all the movies and shows that've Been On My List for ages, and then another decade on ao3. like sure nothing may stick but my memories will and i can just go into a supermarket to get snacks and wine each day, and i have art to indulge in. like thanks for the hints on how to get out but respectfully, I am busy

[chaosaccountant]

[chaosaccountant]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[chaosaccountant]

I have designed a new Pride Flag.

I believe it fills a gap in the span of flag coverage. I might be wrong, feel free to ignore if so.

This is the What Are You, A Cop? flag.

Do you want to know more?

Who is it for?

This flag represents any aspect of identity that you contain but don't want to actively broadcast, be it sexuality, gender, absence of either, disability, ethnicity, race, or anything else that I'll inevitably remember I wanted to mention the moment I hit post.

When I say you don't want to actively broadcast it, I don't mean you're keeping it secret. I mean you're just not bringing it up in conversation. And if people want to ask, it's up to you whether you tell them.

The flag encompasses people who have always been who they are, and have therefore never had a "coming out" moment and don't want to have one now.

The flag encompasses people who are happy talking about themselves to those they trust, but think everyone else should mind their own business.

The flag encompasses people who are questioning their identity and don't feel the need to show their workings so far.

The flag encompasses people who think surveys and the state don't need to know these aspects of you identity and should just regard you simply as human.

The flag encompasses people regardless of their reasons for identity privacy.

The flag does NOT encompass secret bigotries, but I imagine if they heard about it bigots would try to co-opt it. Meh, I don't believe this post will gain any traction so I don't need to worry about that.

What Does It Represent?

The design is inspired by this image from the Information Security Wikipedia page.

Central Circle - Existence of Self

The central circle represents yourself and your own identity information.

It stands as a statement that you exist.

Triangle Points - Who has Knowledge of Self

The three points of the triangle represent who has/has not got access to knowledge of your self.

One triangle for those allowed access.

One triangle for those forbidden access.

One triangle for yourself, representing your own journey of self discovery.

Rings - Controlling Access to Self

The rings represent your right to control who knows about your self.

The inner yellow ring represents your right to control knowledge of your physical being.

The black ring represents your right to control knowledge of your mental/psychological being.

The outer yellow ring represents your control knowledge of how your collected physical and mental self interacts with external systems/environments. (eg, whether an environment casts you as disabled.)

Black Field

The square of black in the background represents how designs need to sit on an appropriately shaped 'base' if they are to function as a flag.

Style Guide

The flag uses just two colours because that makes them easier to get hold of.

The colours of yellow and black were chosen because if you can get hold of any fabric or paint, these will commonly be among your options.

Also, these colours mean Back Off in nature.

The design is shoddily constructed. The edges of the circles are messy. The width of the rings is uneven. The black circle fits awkwardly on the yellow triangle.

This is because not everyone has the time, energy, skill, or other resources to make a flag that looks good. Make it all neat and smart if you like, but you don't have to.

You could even just draw it in lines; circle, triangle, two more circles.

Draw it how you like, I'm not a cop.

Though, the symbol as depicted was intentionally drawn so as to suggest a cop had shot a bullet through a triangle. You know what sort of triangle. Fuck the police.

Licensing Information

What Are You, A Cop? Pride Flag by lrgcarter is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

[chaosaccountant]

While pathfinder went in a different direction with them, I think 'slaver ants' is part of the inspiration for formians.

I like the more grounded take here though; it's substantially more interesting than 'slap the relevant sla on them and call it done'.

Erguzam

P. montivagus image in the public domain, accessed at flickr here

[As the most speciose and successful terrestrial animal lineage, insects have all sorts of interesting life history strategies and evolutionary adaptations. The trick is, making them things that can be viable in play for a tabletop rpg. Parasitoid reproduction is very common, and gets applied to lots of creatures that aren't insects. The more arcane life cycles are cool, but difficult to make relevant to players. The behavior of slave making ants is not something I ever have seen before in an RPG. It does have some pop culture impact; the ants in the B-movie Empire of the Ants are slave-makers, but my version leans much more heavily into biological weirdness.]

Erguzam CR 4 N Magical Beast This creature appears to be a red ant the size of a wolf. Its mandibles are smooth and curved inward, and its front feet end in broad tarsi with hooks and spines. It has no sting, but instead a small nozzle at the end of its abdomen.

An erguzam is a giant ant that lives as a parasite on farms and ranches. Rather than simply raiding humanoid settlements as some other species of giant ants do, erguzams instead take over the settlements completely, using chemicals to enslave its denizens and force them to work for the ants’ benefit. An erguzam colony begins when a queen, accompanied by a few soldiers from its previous colony, finding a farmstead and enslaving its residents. While the queen lays eggs, the soldiers fan outward in order to find more workers to serve the colony. An erguzam exerts its control over its slaves through trophallaxis—it feeds its victims a slurry of drugs that make its mind docile and pliable, and make its senses sharp enough to receive chemical cues from their exploiters. People so enslaved work on the farm growing crops and raising livestock, fixing buildings and refitting them to better suit their masters’ anatomy, raising the young of the erguzams and helping to raise any slaves too young to take care of themselves. They may even trade and engage with other people, all the while acting as cover for their monstrous masters. An erguzam’s chemicals cause humanoids to age rapidly, forcing erguzams to raid regularly in order to replenish their workforce, or to exploit longer lived species like dwarves and elves.

Erguzam soldiers do not take slaves on their raids with them, relying on their own power to fight. They preferentially try to capture smaller people, including children, as well as less heavily armored targets. Foes wearing heavy armor are more likely to simply be slain, cut in two with their scything mandibles or sprayed with the acid they can fire from their abdomens. Already enslaved victims submit to being fed their mind-altering drugs willingly, but when capturing slaves anew, the erguzams grab them with their front legs and pull their mouths open in order to give them their first feeding. If a creature is unaffected, it is butchered before the erguzam moves onto the next target. If it succumbs, the erguzam retreats from battle with its new slave.

Erguzam Queens Unlike the queens of other giant ants, erguzam queens retain their full mobility throughout their lives. An erguzam queen is an erguzam with the giant and advanced simple templates, and it can use its enslave ability at will. An erguzam queen’s acid spray deals 5d8 points of damage, and all erguzams within 30 feet of an erguzam queen gain a +2 morale bonus on all attack and damage rolls. An erguzam queen is a CR 6 monster.

Erguzam CR 4 XP 1,200 N Medium magical beast Init +6; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +10, scent

Defense AC 17, touch 12, flat-footed 15 (+2 Dex, +5 size) hp 37 (5d10+10) Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +3 Resist acid 10; Weakness verminous

Offense Speed 50 ft., climb 20 ft. Melee bite +8 (2d6+3), claws +8 (grapple) Special Attacks acid spray, enslave

Statistics Str 17, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 11 Base Atk +5; CMB +8 (+12 grapple); CMD 20 (28 vs. trip) Feats Blind-fight, Improved Initiative, Skill Focus (Perception) Skills Climb +15, Perception +10, Stealth +7

Ecology Environment temperate plains Organization solitary, pair, raiding party (3-8) or hive (4-24 plus 1 queen) Treasure incidental

Special Abilities Acid Spray (Ex) As a standard action, an erguzam can spray acid in a 15 foot cone dealing 5d6 points of acid damage (Reflex DC 14 half). An erguzam can use this ability three times per day, but must wait 1d4 rounds between uses. The save DC is Constitution based. Enslave (Su) As a move action, an erguzam can vomit a chemical slurry into the mouth of a pinned, helpless or willing humanoid. The humanoid must succeed a DC 16 Will save or be charmed by the erguzam and by all erguzams of the same hive for 1 week. Unlike a charm person spell, humanoids do not gain a bonus to their saving throw if it is threatened or attacked by an erguzam. A creature that succeeds its saving throw is immune to the enslave ability of that erguzam for 24 hours. Humanoids so affected are friendly to these erguzams and are compelled to work on their behalf. An erguzam can give these charmed humanoids simple instructions from a range of 60 feet with chemical signals as a free action, and can sense whether a creature is affected or not by the enslave ability of any erguzam from its hive. A humanoid affected by an erguzam’s enslave ability ages one year per week it is affected. An erguzam can use this ability three times before it has to return to its queen to replenish its supply. This is a mind-influencing poison effect. The save DC is Constitution based with a +2 racial bonus. Verminous (Ex) An erguzam is treated as both a magical beast and vermin for the purposes of spells and effects.