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chaosenticed-blog · 5 years

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greetings angels ! i’m steven, going by she/her pronouns and miserably lodged in the pst timezone, also currently known as the devil’s taint thanks to this heatwave ! super fun ! pls bear with me , i’ll be up everyone’s asses for plots with my lil dudebro shithead 𝖘𝖎𝖑𝖆𝖘 , he’s a new muse of mine i’ve conjured up bc ethan is just too good looking to not utilize ? i’ll keep this short so we can pull a queen carly rae and cut to the feeling ~

❛ chicago’s very own 𝖘𝖎𝖑𝖆𝖘 𝖉𝖎 𝖌𝖗𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖑𝖉𝖎 has been spotted in new york city in his jeep wrangler blackhawk , welcome ! your resemblance to ethan dolan is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twentieth birthday bash. your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐑𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 , but being 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 might help you. i guess being a taurus explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐅𝐈𝐓𝐒, 𝐓𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃, 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃. & ( cismale & he / him / his )

aesthetic :

playing guitar barefooted in a hammock, sun kissed skin and a half-kept beard, knowing all the vegan options at the city’s boujiest restaurants, a crooked grin saved for whoever he can tell needs it most, overthinking his next move even if it seems completely organic, a boyish laugh at the most asinine pranks, c-’s littering his transcript ( except the a earned in environmental science, his elective of choice ), calling instead of texting because texting “ loses the humanity, ” casual nights spent oversized hoodies, yellow checkered vans, shorts with a 60-day chip in the left pocket, yelling out species of trees passing by over thumping bass beats on a road trip, sweat on designer-clothed skin like glitter, doing head counts of “the squad” over and over in the rear view mirror on the way home from a rager, random stupid tattoos done “ for the memory, ” intricate handshakes performed with ease. acting like you don’t care, but you do— god you do, sometimes so much it consumes you whole.

inspired by :

jim halpert from the office, jackson maine from a star is born, jim hawkins from treasure planet, jackson avery and owen hunt from grey’s anatomy.

history :

born to a major chicago councilman father and a ceo mother, the middle of three boys, silas found himself drawn outside until the sun came down, connecting to whatever the earth was able to give him in the inhospitable chicago weather . he’d wander aimlessly for hours, guiding his twin and their older brother through the trails he made himself . his home wherever he could make it — the branches of creaking trees at the park , the caverns of frosted caves , he learned to be content with the little things , humble and rooted firmly in his beliefs of morality and logic .

it was never exactly fun to play the role of the son in the limelight, eyes on his family whenever his parents where on a particularly tricky trip . his eldest brother, julien, was a parent’s dream and easily took up a political career without any complications . balancing in the shadow of his eldest brother and the push of his twin , silas kept his own hopes and dreams on the back burner , prioritizing a family name before his own desires ( and thus , the apparition begins. )

he knows the eyes are on him to carry on the family legacy , and does the bare minimum possible to keep his uptight parents off his back . he went to the private schools , played the big name sports , mingled with the a-listers . he fills the role to please his family and keep the peace , but once the light comes off him , he pushes off against the prim and proper upbringing and finds his own stride . though he takes the classes and attends the conferences to make his father think he’s prime for having his name in the news , silas could not be bothered to carry the illusion on into the rest of his life . nights are spent at raves , hiking canyons off the grid , indulging himself .

yet all this time spent trying to fit into a future he never asked for folded over on him , as one would readily expect . the beginning of his freshman year , it was exposed that his father had carried on with an affair nearly two decades ago and kept it secret until now , resulting in a half-sister close to his age and an onslaught of media attention on his once-pristine family . now , his father remaining in chicago and his mother moving to new york to helm her medical cosmetics business with a renewed vigor , silas chooses to make the jump to new york wit his mom . to his chagrin , she notes a political run in her future that puts silas on edge , forcing him to really come to terms with living the life his family will forever ask of him .

never one to particularly enjoy attention, the added pressure of trying to repair his family’s reputation ( and keep mum on the bitter divide caused within his family ) drove him to a point where anything he could use to escape would become a viable option . smiling for cameras and keeping up appearances in public led to binge drinking and benders galore in private , ultimately ending with his twin brother hauling him to the emergency room after a particularly brutal night . a stint in rehab this last summer ( explained as “ humanitarian work in the middle east ” ) led to silas’ newfound perspective on life— struggling every day to keep in mind who he is, and who he feels he has to be for the world .

personality :

silas’ upbringing has been rocky to say the LEAST, and despite half the shit he’s gone through he’s managed to keep a pretty solid head on his shoulders ?

i’ve been playing emo broody boys so often i wanted to switch it up and lowkey ? silas is a breath of fresh air okay . he’s your quintessential frat bro but with ~layers~ and none of the tragic manic pixie dream boy . he comes across as a reserved and non-talkative kind of guy, stoic at first meeting, but with time and comfort people find he’s really just a cool laid-back dude . he’s the dad friend of the group and spends as much time caring for others as he can possibly allow between his totally booked schedule of pretending to be a preppy boy and literally not giving a shit about most things.

he loves nature and hiking and being outside just as much as he loves a good party , which is where festivals and the rave scene come into play . he loves sharing good energy with the people around him and tries to keep the peace within his circles. silas has a genuinely kind and benevolent heart , one he doesn’t expose readily but also doesn’t ignore . he uses humor and quiet observations of others to keep himself ahead of the loop, even if his generally bro-ish personality leads people to believe he’s inattentive or ignorant . he’s responsible and mature and deeply intelligent, but most of all, has common sense and doesn’t let a decision be made without weighing the pros and cons .

( for the most part . )

silas has forever been recognized as inheriting his father’s impulsivity , a trait he absolutely fears after seeing the terror it wreaked on his family . he pushes himself to be smart and rational, trying to see the logic in all things , and tries to be as disciplined as he can manage . when other factors come into the equation though , he struggles to keep up his resolve and will easily lose himself in the moment . he has an addictive and ultimately reckless personality , which led to his addiction and consequential rehabilitation . he tries to minimize the time he spends with people that may lead him down a path he doesn’t want to go down , but obviously not everything goes as planned .

otherwise , silas is stubborn but considerate of others . he’s intelligent and creative but very poorly motivated , mostly doing things for the sake of his family and letting little else bother him . he’s loyal and sensitive to the emotions of others , but is the first to call out bullshit if it surrounds him . he’s almost painfully mellow and is notorious for not having buttons to press lmao . he just doesn’t let most people’s comments get to him . he has no issue in cutting out the things ( or people ) he has no interest in spending his time on and can come across as a bit forward in this regard . he can be hypocritical and overly complex , having conflicting feelings that he can’t explain or rationalize and lead to him snapping or breaking down . he’s deeply jealous and has a bad habit of overthinking and not letting others bear his burden with him .

as of now, silas isn’t sure where he wants to take his future . very few know about his stint in rehab, and he explains his lack of drugs or drinking as his preparation to be a walk-on for the wrestling team at NYU where he attends , as his mother has been encouraging him to pursue in order to build a fanbase base for his future political conquests . currently, he does modeling for a casual platform and represents certain brands he’s actually rather passionate about . he’d LITERALLY rather d*e than go into politics, and is eyeing a future in environmental advocacy or ambassador work , but knows this is not a future aligned with the di grimaldi legacy . for now , he remains at a crossroads , living half a life he doesn’t even recognize , just hoping it’ll manage itself on its own .

connections :

forbidden ( 0/2 ) — best friend’s gf ? his brother’s ex ? his sister’s best friend ? basically i want someone who silas wants but can’t have because of another relationship that could REALLY put them in a dangerous spot and potentially ruin what they have, but it’s all hidden glances and risky snapchats trying to gauge where the line is and where it can be crossed

exes ( 0/? ) — gimmie angst, gimmie chill, gimmie people who mutually broke up and are bros, give me people who had a messy split and it’s still touchy, give me people who are “ supposed to be over ” but end up in each other’s beds at the end of every other night, give me people who fucking hate each other, this is so versatile i’ll take anything.

“ gucci shoes, boy i invented you ” ( 0/1 )— a fake gf he had for the clout, someone who really helped him live up to the image his family wanted for him, basically helped “ make him ” and in the process, she fell in love with him. did he feel the same way ? did he not realize it ? did he simply not reciprocate ? either way, they ended poorly and now she resents him and thinks he’s a cowardly piece of shit, since she’s seen the “ real him ” vs the him she helped conjure. lots of tension !

turn up team ( 0/4 ) — basically : whos gonna go rave with him ? he’s not gonna roll w them if drugs are involved but he’ll enjoy his adrenaline high with pleasure. these are people who aren’t close enough to him to pressure him into doing drugs again, so he feels okay with going out with them since there’s little to no risk he’ll relapse

squad ( 0/3-4 ) — i’m thinking a small group of people who he’s just always likely to be found with, these are the people who matter most to him and u can hella catch him fathering them almost to an ANNOYING extent. they get to see the best ( and sometimes the worst ) of him, but he’d do anything for his squad

devil on his shoulder ( 0/2 ) — this can be as intentionally or unintentionally toxic as u want, but i’m basically envisioning two people who really tempt silas to risk it all. maybe they want him to dive back into the hedonistic side he has ( he was wild and lots of people lowkey hyped him up for it ) and it’s gritty and sexy and dark. maybe this person doesn’t even realize they’re a trigger for him and unintentionally send him close to the edge.

sponsors / confidants ( 0/2 ) — i’m envisioning a team of 3 who have been THROUGH it with the substance abuse, maybe they stage “ improvised meetings ” whenever they need to, maybe these are just two people who want to make sure silas stays clean because they know how badly he needs it and how dangerous it would be for him to relapse

vlog squad ( ? ) — my idea is that silas and his twin brother are youtubers, and silas is a BIG paranormal shit guy. it’s like the perfect intersection of talking about nature and exploration without making him seem like a hippie tree-hugger and raise any objections from his parents, so maybe he has like a little group similar to the vlog squad where they share a channel and they have a small following?

i’m putting in a wc for his twin brother and his half-sister so peep THOSE

sibling-like friendship, booty calls, hookups, people he’s in a club on campus with, childhood friends, maybe a penpal he had after moving around from place to place ?

please literally give me anything that makes me smile or suffer ? and all in between . muah lov u all can’t wait to rp !