chaosthekahuzasimp - Tumblr blog

[chaosthekahuzasimp]

When I say that my parents were somewhat opposites I mean that with my mother her love for me was obsessive and smothering. She obsessed over me for years forcing me to be someone I wasn’t to futile her sick fantasy and the whole time she was under the delusion that I actually loved her back. She loved me so much it hurt. She threatened me to stay my perfect self my telling me that she woild kill her self, walk into traffic, stab herself, etc. That was what she thought my motivation for staying ‘normal’ was because she honestly thought that I loved her so much I would forget who I really was even if it made me unhappy because it pleased her.

With my father, he was always emotionally unavailable, ignoring me and the others. He treated me like a chore, just one more thing to have to take care of and he never told me he loved me. His affection for the family was always ranked, never equal. He loved the dog more than me, but at least I wasn’t at the bottom of his list. He was always angry and yelled at us whenever something didn’t go right or just if he needed an outlet. He hit me a few times but my brother was worse off. He was at the bottom of dear old dad’s little lost. He never apologized and acted as if he was above us.

[chaosthekahuzasimp]

The Touch of Sunlight (read the full story on webtoon here)

this is the first page

[chaosthekahuzasimp]

You chew your blackberries don’t you. You bastard. How fucking dare you. What in the fuck. You simpleton. You barbarian. You fucking featherless biped. Go die in a hole you savage fucking walnut. Burn in hell you utter piece of shit.

[chaosthekahuzasimp]

If you ever walk in on someone eating a sticky hand, know they are not ok

[chaosthekahuzasimp]

Whoever created this monstrosity needs to be punished. I call upon haters and lovers of pineapple pizza, those who say yay or nay on socks with sandals, and all other opinionated mentally ill bastards on this site.

[chaosthekahuzasimp]

As of now my dashboard is filled with photos of rats and I’m not complaining

[chaosthekahuzasimp]

step 1. notice a tiny plastic bird in your room

step 2. forget about small plastic bird

step 3. remember big plastic bird

step 4. attempt to clean your room but make it messier and more disorganized

step 5. buy a turquoise feather boa from michels

step 6. no god please no don’t get an actual snake who tf put a Michals next to a Petco

step 7. use feather boa excessively for weeks

step 8. get feathers all over the fucking house

step 9. unearth large plastic bird

step 10. buy Floof

step 11. feel sympathy for the gigantic plastic bird

step 12. spend over 1000 trying to get kahuza

step 12 1/3. get kazoo kid

step 12 7/4. admire how ducking perfect and amazing and pretty and gorgeous and wonderful kahuza is

step 14. Remember humongous plastic bird exists again

step 15. hot glue feather from the boa to the absolute unit of a plastic bird

step 16. have social anxiety

[chaosthekahuzasimp]

I woke up grumpy today so instead I decided to be productive and turned it into a photo shoot. It's Friday but it doesn't feel like friday, the world is so overwhelming and I don't know where my emotions are at buuut I can at least turn it into something artistic and productive and bold and strengthen my own self-esteem and personal image.

Keep on going, I can't say that it gets better but you get stronger.

I don't think that life gets any lighter, I think that you just become able to manage the weight

[chaosthekahuzasimp]

I just ate like 15 protein brownies.

I don’t feel so good