chaoticladygentleman-blog - Tumblr blog

[chaoticladygentleman-blog]

Eu sei que pode parecer solitário e um pouco bobo por jogar um jogo virtual de rpg (voces devem me perguntar quantos anos tenho) no qual é possível criar e dar vida a personagens derivados da imaginação do indivíduo, mas fazendo jus ao que disse ontem cá estou escrevendo em português e ainda apanhando da língua mãe, escrevendo sem coerência de maneira aleatória, o que vier a mente escrevo, enfim, entrei em uma guilda de brasileiros, até que fiquei feliz por fazer parte de algo maior que os meus problemas pessoais…

[chaoticladygentleman-blog]

Sadness has always been something, a feeling that I don't understand fully and whenever I feel sad I do the dumbest things like slitting wrists and smoke cigarettes. The fact is that I struggle to think about my life and speak it up. When I'm in this kind of state of mind, I feel so lost and even when I have guidance my automatic response is no, giving up the idea in the process... Sometimes I feel like I'm still tryna feel part of something, but in fact I'm just outside of society, neglecting people as if I were Zaratustra. Frankly, I don't even know why I'm writing my thoughts in English if I'm a Brazilian and my native tongue is Brazilian Portuguese... There's still too much to write about here and for now, I promise to write in Brazilian Portuguese in my future posts.

[chaoticladygentleman-blog]

haha

i don’t know, i feel dead inside.

as if time passed and i stood, i don’t know.

didn’t change i think.

am i getting lost ?

again ?

like

i’m used to the feeling of getting lost

it’s no news to me.

i just wonder if i have some feeling inside of me, that is just not lust, i don’t know.

i’ve always lived controlled by fear

should i release my urges ? 

i don’t know...

i do think about my projection: what people would think of me and i just cant be this perfect, i am not perfect.

my body hurts

i don’t know, i’m not used to sports, i always get tired easily and its not as much pleasure as its sex.

yeaah

hahahahahahha

i wonder if somebody understands me ?

i don’t know i’m feeling like crazy writing at tumblr as if it was my diary

LOL

AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO WRITE IN ENGLISH CORRECTLY

god, sometimes it’s just hard to keep living.