chaoticpathh - Tumblr blog

[chaoticpathh]

Happy Independence sa tanan sakit, pag-antos, kaguol nga atong gikumkom sa mga niaging adlaw, semana, buwan, og tuig!

Padayon kay lumalabay ra ang tanan.

[chaoticpathh]

Almost 7 months ago, I took a very risky decision. A decision that I know will change my life. I have this bestfriend of mine for half of my life. We've met 10 years ago. He was my first friend when my mom and papa decided to transfer me to another school of which was near from our new home. He then became my very first friend, my confidant, and eventually we came out as bestfriends.

8 years ago, I didn't knew he was inloved with me. Secretly watching and protecting me from afar. Before Senior year ends, he confessed that He loves me but I refused. I turned Him down not because he's not attractive, "gwapo" and boyfriend material. I turned Him down because I cannot afford to lose someone as pure and treasurable as he is. He then became my greatest treasure. The most valued person I have had in my life.

He did never became distant. He was and is still, my bestfriend.

But God has His own plans. 11 months ago, we crossed path again, I was invited on a, wedding and little did I knew he and his team we're the photographer of the event.

Unintentionally, we saw each other there. Got few words to say.

Month ago from that event, we saw each other again. (ofc bestfriend gd hahhahaha). Unknowingly, God surprised us.

Last april, day after I came home from my short vacay, my bestfriend confessed His feelings again. (and this time I said yes!)

I know I took a very huge risk but, he's worth the risk. I love Him and I know God is with us.

My best friend and I are now together for months already.

Everyday, I thanked God for giving me this amazing man in my life. He then become my source of inspiration and strength.

To you my love, thank you for not giving up. Thank you for staying, for loving me, for giving your all. I may have my shortcomings but thank you for being so patient with me. I am immensely greatful for your existence. I LOVE YOU, FOREVER AND ALWAYS.

-tricia❤️

[chaoticpathh]

Always my favorite part of my every day is to spend it with you @jaysonymas 🥰.

[chaoticpathh]

You know it's real when you can't explain it.

[chaoticpathh]

So ayun i took some photos of me kasi i somewhat don't feel so off today.

Also, i kinda feel to go somewhere else. Maybe sa bookstore gusto ko ulit bumili ng libro. Yun lang ☺️.

[chaoticpathh]

Sobrang devastated ko. Sobrang sirang sira at pigang-piga.

[chaoticpathh]

Wala ehhh, sobrang nakakapagod yun ganito.

[chaoticpathh]

Magdadalawang taon na akong walang trabaho. Lugmok, bagsak pati self-esteem. As innn wala. Wala nakong tiwala sa sarili ko. Hindi ko alam saan ako magaling. Basag na basag ako. Gabi-gabi, araw-araw wala akong ginagawa kase wala akong maramdaman.

[chaoticpathh]

Sana lahat masaya!

[chaoticpathh]

Sorry kung sa mga nakakabasa nito pakiramdam nio sobra kong dina-down sarili ko pero kase yun yong nararamdaman ko eh.

Hindi ko na alam saan banda ako magaling kasi wala naman ako nun.

[chaoticpathh]

Kasi ngayon tuwing haharap ako sa salamin wala akong ibang nakikita kundi sakit at lungkot.

Di ko alam bakit ako nagkaganto ehh! Di ako ito!

[chaoticpathh]

Kinakain ako ng lungkot. Pakiramdam ko, walang nakikinig at makikinig sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung saan pa sa sarili ko hahanapin un saya na dati lagi kong natatamasa.

[chaoticpathh]

Sana lang meron akong kahit isa o dalawang tao na pwede kong mapaglabasan lahat ng sakit, sama ng loob, at lahat ng tumatakbo sa isip ko. kase sobrang bigat na eh.

Dito nalang ako mag ra-rant kase kahit papaano gumagaan ng onti pakiramdam ko.

[chaoticpathh]

Sinusubukan ko naman eh! Araw-araw putangina, araw-araw. Pero araw-araw din akong lumulubog.

[chaoticpathh]

Wala ehh, bagsak ako. Lugmok ulet ako-- di ko alam saan ako magsisimula. Sobrang bagsak yun confidence ko sa sarili ko. Ewan parang lahat nalang sa sarili ko ampanget.

[chaoticpathh]

Tangina iiyak ka nanaman. Taon-taon nalang, buwan-buwan nalang.

[chaoticpathh]

Alam mo yun? Iyong sobrang bigat pero di mo mailabas. Wala kang masabihan at kahit gustuhin mo man hindi mo alam kong kanino ka pwede maglabas ng saloobin kase una sa lahat wala ka naman talagang mapaglalabasan.