chaoticsmirk

[chaoticsmirk]

CRYING I'M CRYING LOOK AT THEM LOOK LOOK WITH YOUR EYES AHHHHHHHHHHH

From Love Cake by @burnseternally and @chaoticsmirk - aka the softest sweetest persianest human au of all time I’m obsessed.

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: Guillermo and human Nandor standing at a kitchen counter in a darkened room. Guillermo, wearing a black tee shirt and blue sleep pants, has his back to the viewer and hands busy on the counter but has his face turned toward Nandor with a smile. Nandor is facing the viewer, leaning back on the counter on one hand and shyly tucking a lock of hair behind his ear with the other. He has his head tipped toward Guillermo with a sweet little smile, clearly mid-conversation. His hair is down and a little messy, streaked with gray. He is wearing black boxer briefs and a large gray sweatshirt advertising New York’s B.I.G. Salsa Festival. /end ID

[chaoticsmirk]

go on and slay, boys! 

wwdits pmv / song is ��BOYS” by LIZZO

[chaoticsmirk]

“Pissing all by yourself handsome?”

- Nandor through the bathroom ceiling while getting railed on the bar

[chaoticsmirk]

This enter thread is just a scene by scene break down of one of Guillermo and Nandor's fights.

character in a fight scene: *restrains their opponent by pinning them against the wall by their wrists*

me:

[chaoticsmirk]

harvey guillén walking into his interview: okay so what if renfield was giving. like everytime you see him he's just absolutely fucking serving cun---

wwdits: you're hired

[chaoticsmirk]

Hey wwdits nation! Are we over the wedding episode jet? No? Me neither.

[chaoticsmirk]

Djinn be like GROW A HEART AND A BRAIN IN THAT ORDER AND FIX MY CRUSH YOUR WIFE

This art and this art are required reading to understand this one lmaooo. Starting the BWHCU: Bean’s WWDITS Headcanon Comic Universe

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1. Marwa sits in a chair, wearing a pink bell sleeved wrap dress, fancy jeweled necklace, and hoop earrings. There is a paperback book in her hands titled Warriors: Into The Wild with a orange cat on the cover. Marwa looks up with a smile as the Djinn leans in behind her, hands gripping the back of her chair. With his usual indifferent expression, the djinn asks, “What are you reading today? Some kind of nature encyclopedia?” Marwa responds, “It’s a children’s series about kitty cat warriors in the forest!”

2. Close up as Marwa clutches the book closer to her face and smiles gleefully, making a three mouth. Flowers dance around her head as she proclaims, “I don’t know why, but recently this is all I’ve been interested in reading! Astrophysics seems so boring!” Behind her, a shadow darkens over the djinn’s face as he shakes with some emotion, hiding his expression as the left lens of his glasses fractures with a loud crack.

3. Scene at the wedding, the djinn shoving his wedding gift - the tiny lamp containing 3 wishes - into Nandor’s face. Nandor, in his wedding robes, rears back a bit in confusion at the intensity. The djinn, leaning far into his space with the lamp inches from Nandor’s nose, stares back with a manic and rage full grin, sweat beading on his forehead. /end ID

[chaoticsmirk]

lilyluscious said: I am here for camera crew rivalry and camera crew rivalry only

————–

honestly that would be so fucking funny tho, if the go flip yourself crew came to the mansion and the wwdits crew got territorial.

like “bitch I did not go to twenty-seven camera operator funerals just to lose these insane subjects to you!”

[chaoticsmirk]

Thinkin’ about the way that Guillermo was so surprised when he found out that his family felt an actual physical rage/fear response when they were around vampires. Which implies that he’s never felt it himself, or has at least interpreted it in a very different way.

Thinkin’ about the way that kids my age, Guillermo’s age, who grew up religious the way we did, were taught that the queer community is innately scary and predatory. The feeling of shy, shamed bewilderment you feel when you realize that they’ve never scared you. You’ve never felt disgust when you looked at them. They never made you angry. You’ve just felt a sort of quiet longing for a life that you looked at and you wanted even though you know you were supposed to be feeling something very different.

Thinkin’ about Guillermo coming out as a wannabe vampire and gay all in the same breath and only doing both because his love finally won out over his fear.

Thinkin’ about vampirism as a metaphor for being queer!! And havin’ a lot of emotions about it!!

[chaoticsmirk]

San Cristobal - A Nandermo Animatic

[chaoticsmirk]

Movie night ! (Yes, they're watching The Wedding Planner)

(mobile users, please click on the image for HD - Tumblr likes to make a pixel soup out of my gifs 🥲)

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With apologies to Park Chan-wook (and Tacodemuerte…)!!

[chaoticsmirk]

tables: turned

[chaoticsmirk]

marypenelope said: It’d be interesting if they start it out by making it seem like Nandor’s upset about something else only for him to finally admit he’s mad about the Guillermo thing

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That would be delicious. *_*

Nandor really does that shit a lot, doesn’t he? He picks stupid little fights when he’s really mad about much deeper problems, and he has a strong tendency to lash out when he’s upset. (See: the greatest burn of all time, Laszlo being born with a silver dick in his mouth.)

I’d love it if he’s just being shitty the whole time and Laszlo is like what the fuck and Nandor finally has to admit that he’s really upset at the loss of intimacy between him and Guillermo and how he feels like that one missed connection led to the whole clusterfuck that is currently his life. If Guillermo had just gone with him on that trip, he would’ve had a great time and maybe even turned him but no instead they went their separate ways and Nandor felt lonely and Guillermo felt unfulfilled and then Nandor had to make up a wedding to get him to stay and now he’s married to a woman who doesn’t even like him.

And Laszlo having a deliriously happy marriage doesn’t! fucking! help!

[chaoticsmirk]

the tragic irony of guillermo always being the one to oppose nandor's relationships with other people, UNTIL it's a relationship nandor doesn't actually want. the tragic irony of nandor always being able to rely on guillermo to save him from himself and his mistakes even when he himself doesn't realise it's a mistake or believes he doesn't want guillermo's help, UNTIL he literally wants guillermo to do exactly that and all guillermo is doing is wholeheartedly supporting what he KNOWS is a huge mistake. the tragic irony of nandor wanting someone to ruin his wedding so desperately, whilst guillermo is literally driving himself insane trying to make it perfect for him. the tragic irony of guillermo thinking he's done right by both of them by moving on and letting nandor be happy with someone else and not being jealous anymore, when really what nandor actually needs right now is that old jealous, conniving guillermo who will try to sabotage nandor's relationship for his own good. the tragic irony of nandor finally giving up on running away from his feelings and turning around, only to find that guillermo has stopped chasing him.

[chaoticsmirk]

Remember how in season one Nandor doesn't recognize the feeling of grief and Guillermo had to explain it to him? What if Guillermo ends up having to explain Nandor's own romantic feelings back to him?

Nandor: Guillermooooo, what is this feeling I'm feeling?

Guillermo: What feeling?

Nandor: That feeling of how, when I look at you, it feels like there are many tiny bats flying around in my stomach.

Guillermo: You mean, you feel fluttery inside?

Nandor: Yes, exactly! Is it disgust?

Guillermo: ...

Guillermo: Yeah, it's disgust.

[chaoticsmirk]

It's been bugging me for a while and I love your meta and all your thoughts, so I wanted to get your opinion on this.

Why do you think Nandor is so repressed? Or so in denial about Guillermo? I understand Guillermo and his motivations (well not so much this season but I can still make sense of them) but why is Nandor this way? I want to study him like a bug and go inside his brain

I, too, feel the feminine urge to put Nandor in a jar and shake him. I've had a couple days to think about this now, so here are my thoughts. There... are a lot of them, fair warning.

At first, I thought this was a loss response. He lost all 37 of his wives and their children in one fell swoop, and that seems to be something that has affected him strongly. And, y'know, I still think that's part of it. I think that after losing everything he had, the idea of trying again and making new relationships scares him. Having someone to love is having someone to lose, and Nandor is so afraid of loss.

But then, y'know, I thought about the actual relationships he had with his wives, and I think a lot of what affects him now affected him then, too. It's a little hard to tell because most of the information we have from him is several centuries removed from the actual events, but it does seem like he probably never loved any of them with his whole soul. He said he didn't love all of them, and that's by his own admission. He didn't fight to keep any of them when they all left, and none tried to stay with him despite his vampirism. And he was pretty clearly leaving them alone for long periods while he went on his campaigns.

I think it's kind of telling that of all the creatures for his ghost to remember and miss, it wasn't any of his wives, it wasn't any of his men. It was... a horse. So I think we can probably say that he had a hard time creating serious human relationships even when he was alive.

I think... I've talked about this before and I'll probably talk about it again, but I do think that Nandor's got an almost pathological sense of dissatisfaction. He's never actually satisfied with anything in his life and he's always chasing after the next big thing. But I think that's because he's afraid of the intimacy that comes from working at a relationship. It's easier to chase the idea of a relationship than build one with the people who are already close to you.

If you think about it, all of Nandor's serious love interests have never really demanded vulnerability from him. Even Gail, his longest-term relationship to date, was a fairly surface-level love story. She didn't expect much from him; he was just a guy for her to have some fun with every few years. The things they knew about each other were also very surface level. Like in the grand scheme of things, who cares if she likes yogurt and Bob Seger if you can't figure out her actual basic character motivations? It's important to remember little details about your SO, but Nandor was missing the forest for the trees.

So when he was alive and now that he's dead, we still have the same Nandor. A man who was constantly conquering new lands instead of cultivating the country he already had. (And immediately letting it fall to shit without even noticing once he was turned.) A man who had 37 wives, but not one who would stay with him once things got hairy. A man who was very happy to pursue new love interests, but very hesitant about actually giving them any real part of himself.

Nandor is a man who is all about acquisition, but he doesn't know what to do with things once he's got them. He loves the thrill of the chase, but the aching and terrifying vulnerability that comes after that is anathema to him. He's simply not willing to put in the work. He likes the fun part, the conquering, the fighting, the hunt. But actually opening up and cultivating a real relationship? Letting them see the awkward, weak parts of him? Trusting them to love him anyway?

He hates that.

I'm thinking back to season 1, y'know? When Guillermo got hurt? He told him that he was his friend, but then immediately felt too vulnerable and walked it back. That's Nandor. Letting people see the soft, unexplored emotions inside of him is too much for him. It makes him feel fundamentally unsafe the way a battlefield never has. Even he doesn't like examining those emotions too closely.

(And let's be real... a horse isn't going to ask you about your feelings.)

So then we have Guillermo. Guillermo, whom he cannot hypnotize into forgetting his awkward, embarrassing moments. Guillermo, who has slowly learned him over the years, both inside and out. Guillermo, who has seen him at his worst and still loves him. Guillermo, who knows him.

Nandor has a kind of intimacy with Guillermo that I'm not sure he's ever had with any other living soul, and I think that scares him. I think it thrills him, yes! I think that's sort of what was actually happening in that familiar fights episode. He senses this strange bond with Guillermo and wants to strengthen it and test it and wallow around in it. He can tell on a fundamental level that there is something important and good and fun there.

But he also refuses to examine it. He refuses to name it. He refuses to let Guillermo that last little step into his heart. To put it into the show's metaphorical terms, Guillermo has managed to break into Nandor's secret basement treasure room despite his best efforts, but Nandor still batted Guillermo's hands away when he tried to examine the treasure.

He still can't even force himself to admit that he likes those rainy Sunday movie nights with Guillermo or that Guillermo is his best friend. (Though Guillermo now seems to understand the things that Nandor cannot say, in these situations.) I think admitting to himself that he's in love with him is just far too much for him. I think admitting that he loves, truly loves, Guillermo would be admitting that he's never felt anything like this before. I think it would be admitting that he's never let anyone in this deep.

And most of all, I think that would be giving Guillermo the power to hurt him like no one has ever managed to do. Not his 37 wives, not his dead children, not Gail. No one. Because if he lets Guillermo see all the most intimate parts of him and Guillermo doesn't like what he sees... that would break him, I think. If Nandor finally allowed himself to really try with a relationship and still got rejected... well, let's just say that it would hurt a lot worse than Gail's rejection of the shallow version of himself that he allowed her to see.

I think that the real root of Nandor's issues is a fear of vulnerability, loss of control, and rejection. He won't let himself fully feel his feelings because he can't control where they'll go. We're talking about a literal former warlord over here. He likes to control things and he likes to feel powerful. The fact that he can't control his own emotions is troubling to him, and the fact that he can't control his relationships with others is even more so.

So he at least controls what he gives them of himself. What he allows himself to internally acknowledge. He still keeps some parts of him segmented off and secreted away. Because it's a way to protect himself and protect that sense of control. If he never allows himself to become fully vulnerable with a person, he can retain control. If he never allows anyone to fully know him, then they cannot reject the most fundamental parts of him that he never allowed them to see.

It is, I'm afraid, one of those mortifying ordeal of being known things.

We're starting to see him loosening up, though. He was willing to give up control of the Council. Control of the household. Control of his life to Guillermo. He's willing to be something other than the leader at all times. And he's starting to let go of those emotions he's kept on such a tight tether for all these years.

I keep coming back to s3, y'know? When he said, "I have no one to share my dreams or my fears with." That's what Nandor really wants here. He wants someone he can finally free himself around. He doesn't want someone that's willing to let him confide in them -- he wants someone that he can bear to confide in. He wants someone who he can trust with those parts of him like he's never trusted anyone before. He wants someone who he can tell his most secret desires to without fear of judgment or reprisal. He wants someone who he can talk to about being afraid without feeling like he's lost a fundamental part of himself when doing so.

And then in 4.06 that's exactly what we saw. We see Nandor truly opening up, truly allowing himself to be vulnerable with someone on his wedding night. But not his wife. It was Guillermo, when Nandor finally allowed himself to give Guillermo something real and true and scared. To admit how he was really feeling right in that moment. The vulnerability we saw in his eyes for just a moment was heartbreaking.

He's still completely repressed and completely in denial. The fact that he went through with the marriage in the first place is evidence of that. He still ended up choosing yet another shallow, empty relationship that would place no real demands on him. But I don't think he's going to be able to ignore what he really wants for much longer. I think realizing what a massive cock-up this wedding was is the beginning of the end for him.

I think Nandor's going to hit a breaking point soon, and it may very well come when he realizes (or at least believes) that Guillermo no longer wants him. He's finally found that person that he's willing and able to give everything to... and that person might just reject it.

For now, anyway.

Ah... love... I feel you, Nandor, it sucks...