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ant with bindle

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i love this website i just feel at home here you know

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just born yesterday. me and my dumb fuck life

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Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.

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I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference

and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”

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Add realism to your fantasy stories by having characters from different backgrounds struggle to pronounce each others' names.

"My name is [low guttural sound] but I don't want to hear you butcher it. So you may call me She Who Arises With The Cold Mountain Sun."

"...Is that what your name really means? All that in just one word?"

"Yes. If you stress the wrong syllable it comes out as 'She Who Coldly Wakes Up The Mountain Sun', or 'The Cold Woman Who Wakes The Mountain Sun', and you will not call me that."

"Oh, huh. Could we just call you Mountain Sun, for short?"

"Hmh. It's boastful, almost bordering on blasphemy, but it is flattering. I accept it."

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The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

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thank god for the mythbusters though because it used to be that whenever i knew i had insomnia i’d just kind of accept it and stay up doing whatever until my morning classes and spend the day feeling like shit

but then they did an episode where they established that even just fucking laying there for a half hour, not even sleeping just laying there and not even for an hour, makes a significant difference and you’ll feel way better

it has made a huge difference in my life to know that it’s okay if i can’t fall asleep, it takes a lot of the pressure off and ironically helps me fall asleep better

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Guess who is back on the grind...

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fabian is the singular sane person in this group in season one. constant "what the fuck" coming from his corner and he's so real

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feelings i feel about™: a definitely-non-exhausive list

- neutral

- happ

- silly !!!!!!

- so many thoughts. hm

- SO. MANY. THOUGHTS. /pos

- so. many. thoughts. /neg

- talking to myself qnd making myself laugh and having fun existing!!!!

- talking to OTHERS in my head and them making me laugh and me making them laugh !!!

- existing is depressing. take me to a new universe

- TAKE ME TO A NEW UNIVERSE WHERE I CAN ADVENTURE I WANT TO SLAY GODS AND HAVE AN ADVENTURING PARTY WE SHALL SUFFER TOGETHER

- i want to experience everything in the universe. including all the suffering. i want to know.

- doomscrolling neutral

- headache from Nothing™

- headache from Everything™

- don't trust me with a bank account i would drain it dry giving to charity

- MUST GIVE MUST GIVE MUST HELP MUST HEAL OR EVERYONE DIES

- sgdfsgshdgd!!!! jfhdhsydgdbdhcjdgd!!!!!!!!

-ADGARHAHRARSJFDGKDGKXHKCHKCYICYKFHLFJGFHMJXHMCGJFUCYKCGJDJGXYKXGKCHKCGKCGKX!!!!!1!!!!!! !!!1!!!! !!!!!11!!!!!! !!!!! !1!!

- PLEASE JUST DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING!!

- bites you <3

- BITES you

- DO NOT BITE

- bite literally anything at this point I'm too understimulated to care

- jumpy at everything

- in the fucking ZONE

- what if im overreacting (is not overreacting)

- what if im overreacting (im. not sure actually hold on)

- so done with everything

- why cant i get in the zone :[

- PLANNING TEN MILES AHEAD INTO THE FUTURE OR ELSE I WILL COLLAPSE AND STOP CARING AT NINETEEN AND MY LIFE WILL BE O

- funny joke about fate comeing for me !!!!!!!!!!!!

- fate is coming for me .

- think of this thing over and over and over and over and try to think about a solution to horrible scenarios about your life being ruined each time (↑caused by the doubtmosphere↑)

- I DONT WANNA LEAVE MY FRIENDS !!!!!!!! WAAAAHAHAAAAAAAA THEY WOULD BE SAAADD

- PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP

- the cogs in my brain have stopped turning I can physically feel it what the fuck

- PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP (← specifically about shake)

- wait no im sorry you're just doing your job im sorry

- IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM (↑caused by the loomosphere↑)

- im sorry (lie)

- thank you (lie)

- ...what if bad thing happens

- OH GOD WHAT IF BAD THING HAPPENS

- not feeling grateful. why. they did good thing.

- this is alarming why don't i feel alarmed

- loving people hurts so much. why do i keep doing it

- loving people hurts so much. I MUST KEEP DOING IT FOR THEM !!!!!!

- loving people hurts so much. and it just has to be that way

- i need to turn my suffering into poetry

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mumby jumby count: 3 .

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tbh i never really considered seals. until i finally saw one irl and was like omg. the creature

this is my artistic representation of what they looked like on the beach from where i was standing in the distance

it was the most magical day of my life