charagrynn-indasky

[charagrynn-indasky]

[charagrynn-indasky]

[charagrynn-indasky]

Dude decorates entire room with sharpies. (Source)

[charagrynn-indasky]

What's the point?

[charagrynn-indasky]

Starvation

So it seems you can also build a six pack by not eating anything for two weeks as you wait to die... My body looks thin, yet midly muscly, but I feel like a corpse. Yes I'm trying to eat, ive had a bad digestive tract since I was a kid. And I will most likely die from it one day. No, I'm not afraid, but I do need to joke about my mortality.

[charagrynn-indasky]

I was thinking  how amazing it was that the world  contained so many lives.  Out in these streets people were embroiled  in a thousand different matters, money problems,  love problems,  school problems.  People were falling in love,  getting married,  going to drug rehab,  learning how to ice-skate,  getting bifocals,  studying for exams,  trying on clothes,  getting their hair-cut  and getting born.  And in some houses people were  getting old and sick  and were dying,  leaving others to grieve.  It was happening all the time,  unnoticed,  and it was the thing that really mattered.”

― Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex

[charagrynn-indasky]

Same.

[charagrynn-indasky]

So much this. I ache for him and compare everyone to him. I know he will never see me again.

I still love you so much, and it hurts so bad because I know you don’t feel the same.

[charagrynn-indasky]

Same.

“There’s nothing I can do and it hurts so much.”

— (via coral)

[charagrynn-indasky]

Me too.

“I can’t believe this is happening all over again.”

— I’m so tired of everything. (via coral)

[charagrynn-indasky]

I just need to die.

I'm not worthy. I'm not enough.

[charagrynn-indasky]

I don't deserve to live.

I really don't.

[charagrynn-indasky]

I'm allergic to cats, but I'd suffer for Possum. ❤❤❤❤

What’s even cuter than a black cat with a pink nose? A black cat with a pink nose AND pink toes!

(His name is Possum and he is available for pre adoption.)

Via Orphaned Kitten Rescue Auckland

[charagrynn-indasky]

Just get out of my head.

You are invasive at this point. Its been a year and 4 months, yet you still invade my dreams. Its no longer visitations at this point. You won't go away. Stop haunting me. You where the one that ghosted me, left me, broke a promise to me. I saw you in my dream again. I've seen you many times, and I don't post/document all those encounters, because they all don't need mentioning. But this one changed.     

                                                                                  I wish we could be on speaking terms in real life, but in the dreams, it's starting to become painful to see you. This time, I avoided you. I saw you before you saw me, but as I was darting behind something, your eyes met mine. I knew that you saw me. I still continued to hide. I got out of there as fast as I could because there's just no point being friends in the dream world when you don't even want to in real life. It's torture and I wish you would go away. I hope you are happy with someone and not alone and sad. I still wish we had friendship, but I can't keep waiting for that. You made it clear you would have rather gone all Eternal Sunshine of the Spotted Mind with us than to be friends. Me too. But that's not realistic. Lord knows I didnt want to move on. And sometimes, I find myself wishing we could be together again, but that's not realistic either.

I've since moved on and have a new person in my life. He's wonderful. Sometimes he can be a bit of a lion, a bit of a violent monster, an asshole. He's definitely not somone I thought I would fall for. But I love him with everything I am, all the same. Hell, before him, I was suicidal with a damn good plan for a ticket off the ride of life, but then we crossed paths. He might have rescued me.

I can't put my life on hold for someone that is not going to be there. Someone that really loved me wouldn't want to do this to me, to make me wait a year or two for them to get their head out of their ass. Someone who loves me wouldn't see me being happy with someone else and use it as an excuse "Well, I guess she really didn't love me because it's been a year and she's got another in her life." That's unfair and cruel.  Don't make your lovers wait like that. If you love them, scoop them up. If you need a pause, tell them, but if you truly love them, don't make them wait too long.

I learned I can't pine for unicorns and magical fairy kittens, it won't make them any more real. They don't exist and never will. I've learned I need to believe in what is right infront of me, because that's real. Love the one your with. I can't pine for a ghost that haunts me in the cruelest way possible when I've got a person by my side, holding my hand, saying to me, here and now that they truly love me and won't let me go. It's not fair to him, me or us (not you and me us, him and me, us). You don't exist anymore. You can't exist. Perhaps we never did either. Please, just fully move on from me and die out of my life, stop haunting my dreams and just let me go. I've got to keep living for my person. I've got to keep existing for me. .

And if you come up to me in real life and tell me you are sorry and you want me back and it was me all along, so help me, I will slap you in the face for dragging me through the mud for too long. I will spit on you and walk away without saying a word. Because I fucking loved you.

[charagrynn-indasky]

You haunt my dreams

It's been over a year since you broke my heart. You promised me the future with you. You built me up to tear me down later. You let me fall hard. You walked away without looking back. Then quickly, you shoved me completely away, ghosting me for the rest of your life.

It's been over a year. I've finally moved on, found a beautiful soul who truely loves me. I feel safe and happy. I see my future with him. And now... You have the gaul to haunt me in my dreams, but just my dreams.

3 months after you shattered me, you began haunting me. In the dreams (& sometimes nightmares) you would hurt me, shatter my heart in all the ways, including ignoring me, but you let me know that you knew I was there. You would hide, or keep your distance, or make out with others. You would never acknowledge or talk to me. A few nights ago, the dreams changed. You teased me with wanting to be friends again. This time I was the one to turn around and walk away.

After all this time, when I needed you the most. I was dying. I was suicidal. I was in so much emotional and physical pain. I lost a few friends (deaths, stabbings), almost lost my heart rat. I reached out in real life, and you continued to ghost me when I needed a friend. I thought that's what you were... and now that I'm happy, you want to come back in my life?

Your hauning dream self needs to get out of my dreams, like you've gone out of my life. Because I know in real life, no matter what, you will continue to be nothing but a ghost, a memory.

Oh, how I wish it where real life... On one hand, I wish we could just be friends. At least talk to each other. But I'm also glad you only haunt me in my dreams, even though it kills me every time you visit me there.

Our real time together was so fucking great, but you where never mine, no matter how much you lied to me and said otherwise. You have taught me more than I could eloquently explain to anyone. I won't allow what killed you and I from our togetherness to kill what this beautiful soul resting beside me and I have together now. I've learned from our mistakes. I've no idea where you are in life, but I wish you the best in everything. I wish you happiness. I will always care for you. But we can never again be what we were.

I am now glad you are just a mere phantom to me forevermore.

~Windy Ett

[charagrynn-indasky]

A long time ago an anon asked my thoughts about drawing backgrounds, so I finally got around to putting this together. It’s more prop-centric, but it still represents my philosophy to backgrounds. 

I’ll try to do something more about drawing actual background spaces in the future! Please let me know what you think, if anything is unclear, or if you have suggestions for other tutorials you might find helpful!

[charagrynn-indasky]