charleswritesthings

[charleswritesthings]

kid in the library just said "a VILLAIN who lives in the MOON is after us" so keep an eye out for that today guys

[charleswritesthings]

this might be one of the worst things anyones ever said to me

[charleswritesthings]

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

[charleswritesthings]

Could yall stop shooting each other outside my window im trying to masturbate

[charleswritesthings]

just found out in medieval france, having a lion on your coat of arms was so prevalent that there was literally a colloquial proverb to clown on knights for being basic and not having a real coat of arms. the hate game was so strong back then. imagine medieval hate anons

[charleswritesthings]

[charleswritesthings]

jkasjdkasjksajfdasfdsafd goodbye

[charleswritesthings]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[charleswritesthings]

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate

[charleswritesthings]

you don't ovulate. liar

interesting. Sort of a neutral statement really. cant seem to figure out how to respond to this

[charleswritesthings]

@fakedentist 👀

[charleswritesthings]

[charleswritesthings]

executive dysfunction is literally like. ive had a random dollar on my floor for two weeks and i dont know when ill fit it in my schedule to pick it up. people dont realize this

[charleswritesthings]

greta was time's person of the year a few years ago. she was adored by all liberal world leaders and parties. and when she learnt about people's struggle under occupation and colonialism, she stood in solidarity with them . she now stands with palestine and armenia and kashmir and every oppressed person in the world. she could have been rich as fuck by simply remaining as a climate activist. yet she chose to do the right thing. i love her for her integrity.